A Montreal rat was given two options: he could have sex with a female rat anytime he wanted, or with the other female rat, who would only give it up part of the time. Guess which one he chose? There's a lesson to be learned here.

pffffthahaha

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

By Brody Vercher

An ode to the nice guy

Breakuplines from various philosophical schools

I promise to have sex with voters... and no one else.