A few weeks ago I had the miserable experience of reading Twilight. A friend bought it for me and I took it with me to read on a long flight from Seattle to Houston. I knew it was going to be crappy, but I thought it would be a guilty pleasure kind of crappy - where you know it's bad but you still get enjoyment out of it. I actually managed to power through around 400 pages until I gave up and started reading Sky Mall. I've been seeing Twilight everywhere lately, especially with Vampire Teens II New Moon's release, so I thought I'd break down why chicks go apeshit for it.

What genre of metal are you listening to?

It scans twitter updates and combines two lines that rhyme to form couplets. The results are pretty great!

Times change, the meanings of words change, things get lost in translation. Whatever the reasons, over the years product-makers have hit upon some of the silliest and most unfortunate names for their wares imaginable, and even though many of these aren’t available at your local corner store, they’re still here for us to laugh about.

PUT THE DAMN DISC IN THE COMPUTER

WASHINGTON—FBI director Robert S. Mueller III announced Monday that the entire manpower of his increasingly disillusioned agency has been diverted into a massive nationwide search for some semblance of genuine, concrete truth.

THE MEATINI IS THE BEST THING EVER INVENTED

[Someone] moaning about shoddy UI inconsistencies and mistakes in Adobe products and how they get shittier with every release.

We would like to apologize for Zarhym. He got overexcited and was hoping to will Thursday into being today. He has been reassured that it is only Monday however. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused for the calendar challenged that rely on our team to convey the proper calendar sequence to them.