"But why stop there? Why not have even more methods? In fact, let's put every method on one Base class! So I did. It's called Base. Just subclass it and feel free to directly reference any class method, instance method, or constant defined on any module or class in the system. "

"A raffling app based on the old split-flap displays (also known as Solari departure boards). It was used for SCNA 2010 book raffling and RubyConf 2010 giveaways."

"Bludgeon is a tool which will tell you if a given library is so large that you could bludgeon someone to death with a printout of it."

"I feed my shelter dogs only x brand vegan food because it gives them the energy to run with me when I train for marathons.

Just wondering if you've had any trouble transporting your dogs in your smart car on the way to the local food coop?

Oh I don't watch TV.

I don't have a car either, I ride a Vespa."

"Came to talk about the draft. They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street, where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected.

So Dan picked the collection enumeration method selectors in Smalltalk from "Alice's Restaurant", no doubt. I suspect that that initial argument of inject:into: came about because he wanted to use that pattern and map and reduce didn't fit. Actually I'm not sure that map and reduce were commonly used terms at that time.

So if you don't like inject in Ruby, don't blame Matz, blame Dan and Arlo!"

"The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal.
We owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."

"Fortunately, at YouTube, we have more to work with. We focused on videos uploaded in the comedy category. We captured the uploader’s belief in the funniness of their video via features based on title, description and tags. Viewers’ reactions, in the form of comments, further validate a video’s comedic value. To this end we computed more text features based on words associated with amusement in comments. These included (a) sounds associated with laughter such as hahaha, with culture-dependent variants such as hehehe, jajaja, kekeke, (b) web acronyms such as lol, lmao, rofl, (c) funny and synonyms of funny, and (d) emoticons such as :), ;-), xP. We then trained classifiers to identify funny videos and then tell us why they are funny by categorizing them into genres such as “funny pets”, “spoofs or parodies”, “standup”, “pranks”, and “funny commercials”."

"Can you email our sales rep with your needs and your budget?

No. It's 2011 and this stuff is a fungible commodity. If I give you a specific server configuration, you can give me a price. If you're offering dedicated servers for rent but force me talk to a sales agent to find out the price, then I know you've just padded my rent with the cost of that person's salary. And if you ask me again what my budget is I swear I will smack you.

Quick quiz: can your entire sales staff be replaced by a nicely formatted HTML table? If the answer is 'yes', then you are subtracting value and wasting my time."

"What terrible business jargon do you need unsucked?"

"A full list of Like, Python keywords is below (swearing optional):

Valleygirl: omg, so, like, totally, right, toootally
Frat guy: friggin, fuckin, dude, man, bro, broheim, broseph
Internets: lol, rofl, teh, ohai, plz
Snoop: yo, homey, homeboy, sup, dog, shit, girl, ma, biatch, ho, shiiit
Local: wicked, hella, anyways
Misc: just, hey, yeah, ok, um, uh, ah, actually, something"

"Just mention that C++ is an extremely large and complex language, and the post-valley people will give you 127 different tiny frustrations they have with the language. The pre-valley people will say “Yea, I guess. I mean, it’s just C with classes.”. "

"Q. Why did the chicken cross the Moebius Strip?
A. To get to the other...er.. umm."

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

David Bronstein! The King of Dating! The Prince of Poker! Dial-a-date! "It's LIVE, ONE on ONE, and DISSSCREET! Get off the couch! Get outta bed! Go to the phone and call!" Anyone remember this guy?

David Bronstein! The King of Dating! The Prince of Poker! Dial-a-date! "It's LIVE, ONE on ONE, and DISSSCREET! Get off the couch! Get outta bed! Go to the phone and call!" Anyone remember this guy?