Two days back my wife called me when I was in office. I said, “Rekha, I am in a meeting. Can I call you back?”

“Sure.”

And after ten minutes she called me again. I cut the call and messaged her that I couldn’t talk since I was still in the meeting. She just SMS-ed an “OK”.

After half an hour, she called again. This time I was angry and said, “Rekha…I am still in the same meeting. Don’t you understand, I am at work.”

My wife replied: “If you are in a meeting why are you commenting on your ex-girlfriend’s status updates?”

Damn! These Facebook newsfeeds. I muttered under my breath but only let out a “Hmm….”

“You have time for her, but not for me?”

“Hmmm…oh that? I was in a meeting….a boring one….so was just fiddling around with Facebook while the meeting was on.”

I waited long for a response. After a while she replied: “If the meeting was boring and useless, why not come out and talk to me?”

I tried to explain to Rekha that coming out of the meeting wasn’t a possibility but if she could come online I would be able to converse with her even if I was in a meeting. And for the sake of our four and a half year daughter Rhea, we agreed to disagree that this was the correct approach.

One thing is for sure, this Facebook is going to ruin my married life. But I am not worried much about that. I am more worried about all those boys-wanting-to-be-men who will be winding up their love affairs with a ‘it is not about you, it is about me’ comment and then start identifying the girl they want to marry and live a life with.

I can almost foresee detective companies coming up which would specialize in Facebook investigations. Companies with tag lines such as ‘Helping find the Real Him via Facebook’ or ‘Saving girls from assholes, one asshole at a time’. Shop signs such as the one showed in the picture aren’t far away.

I can foresee the girls parents visiting a private detective firm titled ‘Fancy Facebook Investigators’ and having a conversation such as this:

“We are planning to have our girl married off to a boy from Delhi.”

“Sure. Let me know how we can help you.”

“The boy’s name is Prashant Saxena. And we want to find out if he is a good fit for our innocent daughter.”

“Hmm….do you know his Facebook ID?”

“Yes…our daughter has alreday started chatting with him. His ID is: prashant.saxena.”

“And his email ID in Facebook?”

“His email ID is prashant.saxena@gmail.com”

“Thank you. Consider your job done. We will need at least 15 days. If we find him not good for your daughter, we will not just give you the proof of his past but also generate proof in the present.”

“How much will this investigation cost us?” The cost concious lady of the house will speak up.

“Madam, just think about it for a while. How much will you be willing to give to ensure your daughter has a good married life?”

I won’t go into how much these detective agencies will charge the hapless parents, but they would make a killing for sure.

And once the parents exit the scene, one young trainee will be put on the job. He will immediately use one of his Girl IDs and send a friend request to Prashant.Saxena. Being already deprived of Friend Invites from girls, the poor Prashant will will immediately accept it and fall into the trap.

Side Note: It would be great to find out what percent of the total friend invites sent out in Facebook every day are sent out by girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is only 1-2%. I am sure 98% of the Friend requests are sent out by the men. If there is a girl out there, the men will find her out and send her the request.

The young trainee will then go thro’ Prashant Saxena’s life history on Facebook and find out that he has changed his relationship status with different girls at least 3 times in the last four years. Based on the status updates and the comments, the young Trainee will also form a report on the kind of relationships Prashant Saxena has had with these three girls.

With the report in hand, he will go to his reporting manager to discuss the future action plan.

“Sir, Prashant Saxena has had three girl friends in the last four years. And they were all very intense relationships. Here is the report.”

The trainee’s reporting manager will go thro’ the report and finally look up and say: “This is proof of the past. We also need to prove that he hasn’t changed. Start chatting with him and get some proof of his intensions.”

“Will do sir. Just so you are aware I will be using either Priya Dixit’s or Neha Gupta’s profile for this assignment.”

“Sure. As you wish. You my man! Or should I say girl?!”

After the go ahead from his reporting manager the trainee will get onto the task of exposing Prashant’s present intensions.

This is how his initial chat conversations with Prashant start:

Priya Dixit: Hi Prashant

Prashant Saxena: Hi Priya, sorry but do I know you?

Priya Dixit: Hmmm….does that matter?

Prashant Saxena: Obviously not. It doesn’t matter but it helps.
(In such instances, a man is forced to take this stance. How many times in a lifetime does a man get a Hi from a girl anyway?)

Priya Dixit: You don’t know me. But I know you. I studied in the same college as you.

Prashant Saxena: Is it? How come we never met?

Priya Dixit: I was scared to approach you. You were so popular.
(Who doesn’t want to hear that he/she was popular in college)

Prashant Saxena: That I was. What did you study there?

Priya Dixit: I did BA Economics

Prashant Saxena: Wow. Where do you stay?
(For a man the territory is important. If there are little chances of meeting in person he won’t waste his time)

Priya Dixit: I stay in Noida. And I know you stay in Delhi….your FB profile says so.

Prashant Saxena: Yes, I stay in Delhi. Smart girl.
(A well-trained man knows that girls like to be called smart & beautiful)

Priya Dixit: Thanks. I was home alone and was getting bored so thought I might as well gather the courage to buzz you. Hope I am not disturbing me.

Prashant Saxena: No…no…not at all. In fact, I myself am bored.
(The logs in Facebook servers are proof that a man has never been too busy for a girl)

Priya Dixit: Thanks. You are a nice person.

Prashant Saxena: Thanks. Is that your real profile pic? You look pretty.

Priya Dixit: Yes of course. Why would I use somebody else’s pic?

Prashant Saxena: No just checking.

Priya Dixit: So…what else?

Prashant Saxena: What do you mean bored?

Priya Dixit: Ever since I have broken up with my boy friend three months back, life has become dull. No thrills.

Prashant Saxena: Ah! You have come to the right person.

Priya Dixit: What???!! What do you mean?
(Real girls have to do this. After years of chatting a man starts suspecting if the girl comes easy)

Prashant Saxena: Was just saying that I know Delhi-NCR region in and out. So you have come to the right person.

Priya Dixit: Better. I thought you were meant something else…you know what I mean.
(During investigations, it is the job of the trainee to lure the man into the trap by giving enough hints)

Prashant Saxena: I know what you mean. But I generally go slow.

Priya Dixit: How slow?

Prashant Saxena: As slow as the girl wants.

The chats continue for around ten days and in these ten days Prashant Saxena starts feeling that he has known the girl for ages. And when in this comfort zone he commits the blunder.

After fifteen days, the Detective agency sends its report to the girl’s parents. This is how the report looks.

Same day Prashant Saxena’s parents get a call from the girl’s parents that they aren’t interested in pursuing the relationship. Prashant is informed the moment he is back from office.

After dinner, a dejected Prashant logs on to Facebook and finds that Priya Dixit has removed him from her friend list. But wait….now Priya Dixit is friends with one of his Facebook friends and future brother-in-law Keshav Bajaj…..talks are on and Keshav might end up marrying his sister Deepika Saxena.

Related posts:Facebook dashboard changes due to Facebook Mail
Character
Mission Quit Facebook Addiction

Funny Articles On: ba economics, correct approach, ex girlfriend, Facebook, Love affair, married life, Men, private detective, Relationship, Relationships, shop signs, status updates, time shop

Later that night, Mulan asked, "What about Roger and Don – how do they do it?"

"I… I don't know," I said.

All right, I was thrown. I thought I would have more time between frogs and same-sex intercourse than just an hour or two. I was out of my depth.

Mulan went to the bathroom and took a little longer than usual to come out. Later she said, casually, "I think I know how Roger and Don do it."

"Oh yeah?" I said.

"Yeah, Mum, there's another hole down there, where you also go to the bathroom. Maybe… you know, maybe they use that."

That's my girl, my Mulan, age nine, inventing anal sex. Smart, inquisitive, problem-solving, Spock-like in objectivity and with a total lack of squeamishness. Bless her heart.



A mom gets asked "the" question and the kid gradually is revealed how we humans got to be so many.

It's widely held that a woman's tears will turn a man to mush. And many think that sympathetic response is a sign of sensitivity, a psychological shift away from baser male impulses. But new research suggests that much of the response may be involuntary and that men are unable to help themselves. The smell of a woman's tears, the study found, is associated with a dip in testosterone, the principal male hormone, and a general decline in sexual arousal.

So I guess lot less headaches and a lot more tears.

NSFW "Her lips are full and pink. Her teal green eyes are intense and inviting. Her black eyeliner accentuates her high cheekbones and her strawberry hair complements her light African skin. Her metallic halter dress holds her supple thighs and pushes on her round breast. She is the result of careful attention and workmanship. When you see her up close, you can’t help but stare. At $6000, she’s certainly not a cheap date. For creator, Matt McMullen, she's a work of art. For everyone else, she's a Real Doll."

'Nuff Said

Five lessons for would-be James Bonds and Bond girls -- and the men and women who would resist them.

"Bonk" author Mary Roach delves into obscure scientific research, some of it centuries old, to make 10 surprising claims about sexual climax, ranging from the bizarre to the hilarious.

I really love this design! In particular, the line drawings, which are very illustrative but tasteful. They are neither too graphic nor too cartoony.

You'll never look at your pen the same way again :)

Several studies suggest that making it harder for sex offenders to find a home or a job makes them more likely to reoffend. Gwenda Willis and Randolph Grace of the University of Canterbury in New Zealand, for example, found that the lack of a place to live was “significantly related to sexual recidivism”.

When guys go to Vegas, there's usually only one thing on their minds. Otto Baxter is no different—except for the fact that he has Down syndrome

"Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance." Ah! That explains the perennial smile on Melinda Gates.

US coffee chain Starbucks has come under fire for a new logo that critics say is offensive and overly graphic.

Some of you may have heard of the practice of “double bagging” – wearing two condoms during sex for extra protection (something not recommended by most condom manufacturers) . Taking this idea to its ultimate extreme, we set out to answer the questi

Women who spray testosterone on their stomach to raise their sex drive may not see much benefit — unless they also want to grow hair on their belly.

This article reviews the behavioral, biochemical, and anatomic evidence for the reality of the G-spot, which includes claims about the nature of female ejaculation. The evidence is far too weak to support the reality of the G-spot. Hmmmm...I wonder how th

Be careful when hooking up with other "adults" online—even if they say they're 18, you'll be the one in hot water if they turn out to be 14 instead.

In the end, porn doesn’t whet men’s appetites—it turns them off the real thing.

Whoa! Information Design taken to the intimate level.

The first episode will end with a a woman masturbating her husband to orgasm, with the entire act and all relevant body parts plainly visible.

Baby-faced Carys Copestake, 18, has offered her virginity for the price of £10,000 to help her pay for university tuitions.

Muslims have it easy compared to them. At least in Saudi Arabia the women are all covered up, so there's nothing to be tempted by. But among this elite corps of evangelicals, the women are breezing around in what one girl I know called "shockingly slutty

Abstinence-only education programs do little to discourage teens from having sex. Yet the government continues to fund it.