Hi Shoaib, Hi Shahid,
Aadab. Jeejus be with you. I, Rakhi Sawant. Naam to suna hi hoga.

I am writing to both of you becoz I am very upset. Very angry. I am very Indian so I cannot tolerate Pakistani insult to the short but the biggest Indian in India. Sachin Tendulkar. He will be our Bharat Ratna when he gets one more century. Mind it.

Both of you are so macho Pakistani bhai, why you do tampering with Sachin? Shoaib bhai, you wrote that Sachin cannot finish a match. How you say that? I have seen cricket matches and they all finish by 5 pm. In day and night, they finish by 10 pm. And then we all go and party. Your writing is all wrong. Please make correction.

And Afridi bhai, I expected better from you. You have been captain of Pakistan, is it not? You say that you saw Sachin’s legs shaking when Shoaib bhai was bowling to him. That is not called shaking, mere handsome bhai. As Ravi Shastri bhai will tell you inside commentary box, that is preparing to dance down the wicket and hoist Shoaib Akhtar over midwicket. I also know cricket. 

You have insulted such a fine leg in Indian cricket. I declare you out leg before wicket. You should say Sorry. Jeejus be with you.

By the way, if you had said legs shake when they see me, that would be correct. As they say in your cricket, leg slip. LOL.

Shoaib bhai, you have called your book `Controversially Yours’. I know what your real intention is. But happy birthday to your book. I pray to Jeejus it is a lovely delivery. You must have bowled everything from your heart into the book, I think. Now that you are totally free, I will ask you to write my autobiography. Rawalpindi Express ghost writes for Rakhi Sawant. ROFL.

Ok bhai log. Bye for now.

With love from India

The one and only Rakhi Sawant

Twenty eight. Almost half a lifetime. Seven World Cups. Many prime ministers. An economic upheaval. From one television channel to a zillion. In 1983, my dad had to wait eight months before he could own a land line phone. Apparently he was luckier than many.

From Kapil to Gavaskar to Vengsarkar to Srikkanth to Azhar to Sachin to Ganguly to Dravid to Dhoni. Phew! At last. From Srikkanth ecstatically puffing on a cigarette in the Lord’s balcony to Yuvraj Singh sobbing emotionally at the Wankhede.



Twenty eight. The answer to all things in our universe.

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