oxoniensis + humour 288
Strobelight Serenade by panicandstartariot (The Avengers (2012), ensemble, Tony/Steve, PG, 10,809 words)
21 days ago by oxoniensis
The Avengers get shanghaied into chaperoning a high school prom. In Steve's opinion, things go downhill from there, but Tony's determined to save the night. With the Macarena.
The-Avengers
Marvel
fiction
Tony-Stark
Steve-Rogers
Steve-Rogers/Tony-Stark
Thor
Clint-Barton
Natasha
Bruce-Banner
gen
slash
crack
humour
21 days ago by oxoniensis
Grace Under Pressure (Or Lack Thereof) by Aramley (Sherlock/Thick of It, Mycroft, Malcolm, teen, 1,740 words)
february 2012 by oxoniensis
Malcolm Tucker works for the government. Mycroft Holmes just happens to be it.
Sherlock
Thick-Of-It
fiction
Mycroft
Malcolm-Tucker
crossover
humour
gen
february 2012 by oxoniensis
My Master's Secret Mission by David Hines (I Dream of Jeannie, Jeannie, Nelson, Healey, Bellows, G, 4,283 words)
january 2012 by oxoniensis
I am THE LUCKIEST GENIE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!
My Master has given me a DIARY! He says that now I can write down things that happened, so I will be able to remember them!
I said, but Master, my memory is perfect, genies always remember everything! and my Master said, what about the time Major Healey and I thought your sister might be impersonating you, and we asked you what we had done just the night before, and you didn't remember? and I shrugged, and then he said, and what about all the times I told you to stay home, and you didn't remember I said that? and I shrugged, and then he said, and what about all the times I told you to not use your powers because that only Makes Things Worse, and you didn't remember I said THAT? and I said, but Master, if genies were predictable, we would not be genies! and Major Healey said, ain't that the truth.
I am SO GLAD that Major Healey understands me.
I-Dream-of-Jeannie
fiction
Jeannie
Major-Anthony-Nelson
Major-Roger-Healey
Colonel-Bellows
gen
humour
yuletide
My Master has given me a DIARY! He says that now I can write down things that happened, so I will be able to remember them!
I said, but Master, my memory is perfect, genies always remember everything! and my Master said, what about the time Major Healey and I thought your sister might be impersonating you, and we asked you what we had done just the night before, and you didn't remember? and I shrugged, and then he said, and what about all the times I told you to stay home, and you didn't remember I said that? and I shrugged, and then he said, and what about all the times I told you to not use your powers because that only Makes Things Worse, and you didn't remember I said THAT? and I said, but Master, if genies were predictable, we would not be genies! and Major Healey said, ain't that the truth.
I am SO GLAD that Major Healey understands me.
january 2012 by oxoniensis
Work Experience by Anon (Better Off Ted, Veronica, Ted, G, 650 words)
december 2011 by oxoniensis
The great thing about working at Veridian Dynamics is they’re always full of surprises. Well, no - actually nothing the company does surprises me anymore. But the great thing about working with Veronica is that she always finds a way to make the inevitable interesting.
Better-Off-Ted
fiction
Ted
Veronica
gen
humour
yuletide
december 2011 by oxoniensis
A Fine Frenzy by Anonymous (Haven [Archive of Our Own]
december 2011 by oxoniensis
"It's...you."
"Me."
"Well, not you you. But...yeah. You."
"Me," she said again.
"And I promise, you'll be glad I handled this one without you."
"Without me."
"Well," Nathan said. "Without you you."
"Now I've got to come," Audrey said, and walked out the door ahead of him.
Haven
fiction
Duke-Crocker/Audrey-Parker/Nathan-Wournos
Audrey-Parker
Duke-Crocker
Nathan-Wournos
humour
casefile
gen
yuletide
"Me."
"Well, not you you. But...yeah. You."
"Me," she said again.
"And I promise, you'll be glad I handled this one without you."
"Without me."
"Well," Nathan said. "Without you you."
"Now I've got to come," Audrey said, and walked out the door ahead of him.
december 2011 by oxoniensis
Supernatural's Flying Circus by ash48 and maichan808
december 2011 by oxoniensis
Warning: Crude humour. Probably NSFW (PG-13)
Category: Crackity crack! Like whoa!
Length: 4.10 (streaming or 70 MB DivX download)
Summary: Monty Python meets Supernatural
Supernatural
video
Dean-Winchester
Sam-Winchester
Castiel
ensemble
crack
humour
gen
Category: Crackity crack! Like whoa!
Length: 4.10 (streaming or 70 MB DivX download)
Summary: Monty Python meets Supernatural
december 2011 by oxoniensis
I Just Had Sex by mresundance (Thor, Thor/Mjolnir, Thor/ Loki, Mjolnir/Everyone, vid)
december 2011 by oxoniensis
Song and Artist: "I Just Had Sex" by The Lonely Island (featuring Akon)
Fandom: Thor (2011 movie, Marvel comics, mythology, artwork)
Length: 02:54
Summary: When I had the sex, man my hammer felt great.
Thor(2011)
Marvel
video
Thor
Loki
Thor/Loki
Thor/Mjolnir
slash
humour
crack
Fandom: Thor (2011 movie, Marvel comics, mythology, artwork)
Length: 02:54
Summary: When I had the sex, man my hammer felt great.
december 2011 by oxoniensis
Indecent Proposal by gyzym & Siria (The Avengers, Tony/Steve, teen, 2,592 words)
december 2011 by oxoniensis
On the plus side, marriage is bound to be easier than proposing.
The-Avengers
Marvel
IronMan
Captain-America
fiction
Tony-Stark
Steve-Rogers
Steve-Rogers/Tony-Stark
slash
humour
romance
december 2011 by oxoniensis
Freaky (Fifth-Dimensional) Fridayby mithen (DCU, Clark/Bruce, Mxyzptlk, Bat-Mite, ensemble, G, 8,748 words)
november 2011 by oxoniensis
"Here's the rules," Mxy said before they could get sidetracked. Bat-Mite was his best buddy but he had a tendency to be scatter-brained. "You've changed bodies for forty-eight hours." He brandished a watch marked, improbably, up to "forty-eight o'clock." "You have to live each others' lives for that long. And if anyone guesses about the switch, the change will be...permanent."
DCU
fiction
Clark
Bruce-Wayne
Bruce/Clark
Mxyzptlk
Bat-Mite
Dick-Grayson
Alfred
ensemble
slash
humour
firsttime
november 2011 by oxoniensis
A Family Tradition by derryderrydown (Captain America, Iron Man, Tony/Steve, teen, 823 words)
november 2011 by oxoniensis
Steve was looking earnest. Which was kind of his default expression but he was looking especially earnest right now. "I've been reading about safe sex," he said, "and all the pamphlets say we need to discuss our previous sexual partners before we do this."
MarvelThe-Avengers
IronMan
Captain-America
Tony-Stark
Steve-Rogers
Steve-Rogers/Tony-Stark
fiction
slash
humour
crack
november 2011 by oxoniensis
Mr. July by jibrailis (The Avengers, Steve/Tony, ensemble, NC-17, 10,453 words)
october 2011 by oxoniensis
"Hello Captain, I see you are mostly clothed today! Felicitations!" Thor said, while Steve smiled weakly back.
The-Avengers
IronMan
Captain-America
Marvel
fiction
Steve-Rogers
Tony-Stark
Thor
Pepper-Potts
ensemble
Steve-Rogers/Tony-Stark
slash
firsttime
humour
october 2011 by oxoniensis
Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter ... by RC_McLachlan (Suits, Harvey/Mike, teen, 7,395 words)
october 2011 by oxoniensis
If Harvey Specter were a textual medium, he'd be a Gospel. Although Mike is sure that, given a choice, Harvey would choose to be the whole Bible and Genesis would pretty much end up being, "And on the eighth Day, God was like, 'Dude, I almost forgot. I totally need to make a guy who can be me and do my work on Earth, therefore freeing the common man of all his burdens -- including the burdens of his wallet. And living in a multi-million dollar high rise in New York couldn't hurt. He can be my gift to the world. I'll call him Harvey and give him stupidly expensive suits and an oddly perfect mouth.'"
Suits
fiction
Harvey-Specter
Mike-Ross
Harvey/Mike
humour
firsttime
slash
october 2011 by oxoniensis
Dropping By by ana_grrl (Torchwood/Firefly, ensemble, Jack/various, PG-13, 3,300 words)
august 2011 by oxoniensis
Jayne’s used to dead bodies, but he ain’t used to them falling out of the sky and then waking up.
Firefly
Torchwood
fiction
Jack-Harkness
Kaylee
Jayne
Mal
Jack-Harkness/Kaylee
Jack-Harkness/Jayne/Kaylee
slash
het
threesome
humour
crossover
august 2011 by oxoniensis
I Swear by dualbunny, greensilver and sweetestdrain (Smallville, Clark/Lex, vid)
august 2011 by oxoniensis
12 years later. A Clark/Lex story. With Kryptonite unicorns, mpreg and a kitty baby!
Smallville
video
Clark
Lex
Lex/Clark
slash
crack
humour
august 2011 by oxoniensis
Pilea involucrata by fledmusic (The Social Network, Mark/Eduardo, R, 7,000 words)
august 2011 by oxoniensis
Well. Eduardo had said he needed to get Mark’s attention. Mark just hadn’t really thought that “get your attention” would mean “turn into a plant,” but Eduardo did tend to be really unnecessarily dramatic sometimes.
SocialNetwork
fiction
Mark/Eduardo
slash
humour
crack
firsttime
august 2011 by oxoniensis
Creature (Double) Feature by AstridV (Stargate Atlantis, ensemble, art, G)
july 2011 by oxoniensis
A tale of mystery, intrigue, and alien critters!
Comic, nine pages.
SGA
art
Sheppard
McKay
Emmagan
Dex
Zelenka
gen
comic-strip
comic
humour
Comic, nine pages.
july 2011 by oxoniensis
Smile Time: the Comic by AstridV (Angel: the Series, Angel, Spike, teen, six pages)
july 2011 by oxoniensis
Angel wants to blow off steam. Things don't go quite as expected.
Six pages of gratuitous Spike&Angel snarkage: a tag to the season five episode 'Smile Time' in which our dark and brooding hero got transformed into a puppet.
AtS
art
comic-strip
comic
Angel
Spike
humour
Six pages of gratuitous Spike&Angel snarkage: a tag to the season five episode 'Smile Time' in which our dark and brooding hero got transformed into a puppet.
july 2011 by oxoniensis
Crag Nuggets by tripperfunster (Megamind, Metro Man/Megamind, Minion, adult)
april 2011 by oxoniensis
Hilarious graphic fic - great drawing, funny and sweet story.
Megamind
fiction
art
Metro-Man
Metro-Man/Megamind
comic-strip
romance
humour
slash
april 2011 by oxoniensis
Heel Turn by brownbetty (Star Trek: Reboot, Kirk, Sulu, ensemble, PG-13ish, 2,064 words)
february 2011 by oxoniensis
Eventually, they discover it's all McCoy's fault. “What!” he protests. “He came to me with his hand sliced open from that damn pig-sticker of his, and I told him to find a hobby with fewer monomolecular edges! It's sound medical advice!”
Jim steals the whiskey McCoy thinks he has hidden behind the condenser coils in retaliation. It doesn't really come close to making things even.
Star-Trek
fiction
Kirk
Sulu
ensemble
gen
humour
Jim steals the whiskey McCoy thinks he has hidden behind the condenser coils in retaliation. It doesn't really come close to making things even.
february 2011 by oxoniensis
Inked by thehoyden (Hawaii Five-0, Danny/Steve, Kono, Chin, explicit, 6,541 words)
january 2011 by oxoniensis
Of course Steve is enjoying himself. They're bait for a serial killer who has some sort of serious hangup about tattooing loved ones' names on their skin -- of course Steve thinks this is practically like a vacation, but better, because the chances of collateral damage are higher.
Hawaii50
fiction
Danny/Steve
Danny-Williams
Steve-McGarret
Kono-Kalakaua
Chin-Ho-Kelly
slash
humour
firsttime
january 2011 by oxoniensis
Alea Iacta Est by Aramley (Inception, Eames/Arthur, Cobb, Ariadne, Yusuf, Saito, Nash, teen, 4,683 words)
january 2011 by oxoniensis
Roman AU. Arthur is a military tribune, Eames cheats at dice, and the result is a merry chase
Inception
fiction
Arthur/Eames
Cobb
Saito
Ariadne
Yusuf
slash
humour
AU
january 2011 by oxoniensis
I am Acton Bell's Metaphorical Manhood by Anon (Hark! A Vagrant, Anne, Charlotte, Emily, teen, 1,561 words)
december 2010 by oxoniensis
“Is interpretive dance the new hot thing in Gothic Literature, and nobody told me?”
HarkAVagrant
fiction
Anne-Bronte
Charlotte-Bronte
Emily-Bronte
gen
yuletide
humour
december 2010 by oxoniensis
The Roaring Game by Anon (Sports Night, Dan/Casey, G, 1,042 words)
december 2010 by oxoniensis
Dan leans back in his chair, chewing his pencil. “At 27, the skip is the oldest member of the team,” he reads off the sheet.
“The Danish national curling team.”
“Yes.”
“What’s a skip?”
“I dunno. I think it might be the brooms they use.”
Casey swivels his chair around to raise his eyebrows at Dan. “The oldest member of the Danish national curling team is a broom?”
“Take it up with Jeremy, he wrote this.”
SN
fiction
Dan-Rydell
Casey
Dan/Casey
humour
slash
yuletide
“The Danish national curling team.”
“Yes.”
“What’s a skip?”
“I dunno. I think it might be the brooms they use.”
Casey swivels his chair around to raise his eyebrows at Dan. “The oldest member of the Danish national curling team is a broom?”
“Take it up with Jeremy, he wrote this.”
december 2010 by oxoniensis
Guns 'n' Neuroses by Anon (Frasier, Supernatural, Frasier, Niles, Martin, Daphne, teen, 2,592 words)
december 2010 by oxoniensis
It should be noted, before events get underway, that Hester Crane didn’t die on the ceiling in a cheap white nightgown. Neither Frasier nor Niles would ever have gotten over the humiliation of knowing that she’d willingly worn polyester.
Frasier
Supernatural
fiction
Frasier-Crane
Niles-Crane
Daphne-Moon
Martin-Crane
gen
humour
yuletide
december 2010 by oxoniensis
Just Like the Saturday Morning PBS Kids Lineup by moonythestrals (Hawaii Five-0, Danny/Steve, R, 4,400 words)
november 2010 by oxoniensis
The speed of Steve McGarrett's age regression as a function of time exposed to Danny Williams, chart to follow. Plot is tenuous, snark is aplenty.
Hawaii50
fiction
Danny/Steve
slash
humour
november 2010 by oxoniensis
Fic: Four Ways Arthur Fails at Courting Merlin, and One Way He Doesn't by Lavvyan (Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, G, 821 words)
october 2010 by oxoniensis
Thing is, Arthur hasn't the faintest idea how one would go about courting a sorcerer.
Merlin2008
fiction
Arthur/Merlin
Arthur
Merlin
slash
firsttime
humour
october 2010 by oxoniensis
Golf by flaming_muse (Sports Night , Dan/Casey, PG, 4,700 words)
august 2010 by oxoniensis
“I can’t believe this is the more sane topic of conversation,” Jeremy said as he leaned forward around her and addressed Dan, “but if you don’t play golf, how can you have given it up?”
“By declaring it.” Dan stood up. “I have given up golf,” he announced again. He looked around to make sure everyone heard him before returning to his seat. “See?”
SN
fiction
Dan/Casey
Dan-Rydell
Casey
Dana
Natalie
Jeremy
Isaac
ensemble
slash
firsttime
humour
“By declaring it.” Dan stood up. “I have given up golf,” he announced again. He looked around to make sure everyone heard him before returning to his seat. “See?”
august 2010 by oxoniensis
Very Superstitious by novembersmith (Generation Kill, PG, Poke, Ray, PG-13, 2,994 words)
july 2010 by oxoniensis
"That had better be my own hand on my thigh right now, suddenly gone all leached of melanin and psycho-possessed so I don’t know it," Tony says evenly. He doesn't look down at the grubby fingers wrapped just above his knee, twitching slightly. It is entirely possible that would be taken as encouragement. "Else I'ma cut it off with my KA-BAR. Might do it anyway."
"Poke, you are so bad at gay chicken," Ray complains mournfully, and doesn’t move his hand. Motherfucker. “Didn’t all the other little Mexicans teach you to play right in your LA fishing village? Now it’s your go.”
GenerationKill
fiction
Espera
Ray-Person
gen
humour
"Poke, you are so bad at gay chicken," Ray complains mournfully, and doesn’t move his hand. Motherfucker. “Didn’t all the other little Mexicans teach you to play right in your LA fishing village? Now it’s your go.”
july 2010 by oxoniensis
Tenth Doctor: The Musical by di-br (Doctor Who, ensemble, vid)
may 2010 by oxoniensis
Summary: The Tenth Doctor Era, told through the power of music!
Length: 6:58; .wmv, 118 MB or streaming on youtube
Dr-Who
video
Ten
Rose
Martha
Donna-Noble
Nine
Jack-Harkness
humour
gen
Length: 6:58; .wmv, 118 MB or streaming on youtube
may 2010 by oxoniensis
The Things That We've Seen... by pyromagnus (Sherlock Holmes, Gladstone, Tiger Rug, G, art)
february 2010 by oxoniensis
Gladstone hanging out with the Tiger rug.
Sherlock-Holmes
art
Gladstone
crack
humour
february 2010 by oxoniensis
Pay Grade by captanddeastar (White Collar, Neal/Peter, PG-13, 3,500 words)
january 2010 by oxoniensis
When Elizabeth opens the door and sees the two of them on the porch, she laughs and laughs and laughs.
“It’s not that funny,” Peter mutters – Neal silently disagrees. It is definitely that funny.
White-Collar
fiction
Neal-Caffrey
Peter-Burke
Neal/Peter
slash
firsttime
humour
“It’s not that funny,” Peter mutters – Neal silently disagrees. It is definitely that funny.
january 2010 by oxoniensis
This Is How The Universe Ends by perryvic &shewhoguards (Torchwood/Discworld, Death/Jack Harkness/Universe, teen, 3,828 words)
january 2010 by oxoniensis
EXCUSE ME, he said, not impolitely. BUT YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.
Torchwood
Discworld
fiction
Jack-Harkness
Death
gen
humour
angst
crossover
january 2010 by oxoniensis
This Scar Is Named John McClane by basingstoke (Die Hard, John/Matt, Zeus, adult, 1,70 4 words)
january 2010 by oxoniensis
Zeus looks from Matt to John, then back to Matt. Then he stares at John. "You son of a bitch. You want in this boy's pants."
John chokes.
"You bring him here, acting all friendly, hoping I'll drop a hint that I used to stick my cock up your lazy white ass. Hoping I'll do the work for you! Well I have news for you, John McClane! I AM NOT YOUR MAGICAL NEGRO!" Zeus stood up from the table. "Put down the pie and get the hell out of my house!"
Die-Hard
fiction
John/Matt
Zeus
slash
humour
John chokes.
"You bring him here, acting all friendly, hoping I'll drop a hint that I used to stick my cock up your lazy white ass. Hoping I'll do the work for you! Well I have news for you, John McClane! I AM NOT YOUR MAGICAL NEGRO!" Zeus stood up from the table. "Put down the pie and get the hell out of my house!"
january 2010 by oxoniensis
As Garlic Cloves and Butter by Anon (Romeo and Juliet - Shakespeare, Romeo, Benvolio, Mercutio, PG, 1200 words)
january 2010 by oxoniensis
"For as long as I have lived, Romeo has been at my side--or I at his, to better tell the truth. I wonder if the press of Romeo's left arm has left an imprint on my own."
Mercutio has peered in closer. "Ah! I see! The bend of your right elbow has a distinctive melancholic, love-despondent droop." He held up a hand, blocking all of Benvolio from his view save for the remarkable elbow. "Benvolio! Where have you gone, friend? For all I see is Romeo here!"
"That is not what I--"
Mercutio grabbed the elbow and jostled it up and down. "Ah, me!" he cried in imitation of Romeo. "Ah life, ah love, ah me! Ah she I love, and me she doth disdain!"
"You are an ass," Benvolio said, but he was smiling and didn't knock Mercutio's hand away.
Shakespeare
fiction
Romeo
Benvolio
Mercutio
gen
humour
yuletide
Mercutio has peered in closer. "Ah! I see! The bend of your right elbow has a distinctive melancholic, love-despondent droop." He held up a hand, blocking all of Benvolio from his view save for the remarkable elbow. "Benvolio! Where have you gone, friend? For all I see is Romeo here!"
"That is not what I--"
Mercutio grabbed the elbow and jostled it up and down. "Ah, me!" he cried in imitation of Romeo. "Ah life, ah love, ah me! Ah she I love, and me she doth disdain!"
"You are an ass," Benvolio said, but he was smiling and didn't knock Mercutio's hand away.
january 2010 by oxoniensis
Delicious by Anon (Eddie Izzard - Standup Routines, PGish, 3,422 words)
january 2010 by oxoniensis
Because there are only two things that polar bears really care about, you see, and those two things are Christmas and Coca-Cola. It's a good idea to carry spare bottles of the stuff when you're in Churchill, just in case. Have to watch yourself, though. They're man-eaters, polar bears. Yes, only known predators of man in the animal kingdom. People can't really eat them, which seems unfair. This is a true fact — polar bear flesh has to be prepared a very specific way, otherwise you get trichinosis, which, if you're not up on your parasites, is caused by a worm that burrows into your intestines and makes itself cozy inside these cysts all throughout your body. Not very comfortable, being full of worms. Not very comfortable being torn apart either. Polar bears are easy to get away from, though. If you're ever being menaced by a polar bear, you can just point behind it and go "Father Christmas!" and the polar bear will turn around every time. I read it in a brochure.
EddieIzzard-Standup
fiction
gen
yuletide
humour
crack
january 2010 by oxoniensis
Lord Wolfe and the Ape-Leader by Anon (Fairytales, original characters, G, 32,401 words)
january 2010 by oxoniensis
The sensible Flora Pilkington is delighted to be asked to accompany her cousin Emily, a wealthy heiress, on a sojourn to Bath – even if seventeen-year-old Emily is something of a ninny-hammer. However, when the dashing but mysterious Lord Wolfe rescues Emily from Terrible Peril, causing her to fall quite in love with him, Flora becomes deeply suspicious. Just who is this Lord Wolfe? Why does he persist in winking at Flora in such a deeply uncouth manner? Why does he refuse to attend all evening engagements? And what is the insufferable man's dark, awful secret? (For she is quite convinced that he has one.) Flora determines to find out, whatever the danger to her reputation . . .
Fairytales
fiction
OFC
OMC
OMC/OFC
yuletide
het
humour
january 2010 by oxoniensis
There's No I in Team by Anon (Sports Night, Dan/Casey, ensemble, teen, 15,608 words)
january 2010 by oxoniensis
"You promised you wouldn't bring that up ever again."
Dan gave the pen a casual flip. "I lied."
"Forgotten, you said. Wiped from your memory, you said."
"You can't expect me to let material like that go to waste. I'm a writer, Casey."
"Apparently you're also a liar."
SN
fiction
Dan/Casey
Casey
Dan
Dana
Jeremy
Natalie
slash
firsttime
yuletide
humour
Dan gave the pen a casual flip. "I lied."
"Forgotten, you said. Wiped from your memory, you said."
"You can't expect me to let material like that go to waste. I'm a writer, Casey."
"Apparently you're also a liar."
january 2010 by oxoniensis
Four Times Hardison Told His Nana He Was Sorry... by Anon (Leverage, Hardison, teen, 1,070 words)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Sometimes, a geeky fanboy has to do what a geeky fanboy has to do.
Leverage
fiction
Hardison
gen
yuletide
humour
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Just Like in the Movies by captanddeastar (White Collar, Neal/Peter, PG-13, 2,300 words)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
“How long have you been together?”
“Oh, just a few months,” Neal says, turning the full force of his smile on his neighbor. “But we’ve known each other for years and years. We met – sparks flew; he chased me, I chased him a little back. Then we were separated for three years, and just barely managed to stay in touch. But a few months ago, he brought me out of a really bad place, and we’ve been together ever since. It was meant to be,” Neal concludes, and he can feel Peter rolling his eyes behind Neal’s back.
White-Collar
fiction
Neal-Caffrey
Peter-Burke
Neal/Peter
slash
firsttime
humour
“Oh, just a few months,” Neal says, turning the full force of his smile on his neighbor. “But we’ve known each other for years and years. We met – sparks flew; he chased me, I chased him a little back. Then we were separated for three years, and just barely managed to stay in touch. But a few months ago, he brought me out of a really bad place, and we’ve been together ever since. It was meant to be,” Neal concludes, and he can feel Peter rolling his eyes behind Neal’s back.
december 2009 by oxoniensis
in the house we see a light (that comes from what we feel inside) by Anon (Modern Family, ensemble, G, 4,690 words)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
"No one told me there was going to be a concert," Gloria says, clapping.
"It was impromptu," Manny tells her.
Luke leans close to Alex so he can whisper, "What's that mean?"
For once she can't think of a lie, so she says, "Spur of the moment," and he nods. It'll be her good deed for the day, she figures. Besides, this morning she convinced him and Haley that "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" was really called "Hark! The Bare-Lipped Angels Sing," and that it was about all the angels who don't have mustaches. So. Even without a second lie today's already been a pretty huge success.
Modern-Family
fiction
ensemble
gen
humour
yuletide
"It was impromptu," Manny tells her.
Luke leans close to Alex so he can whisper, "What's that mean?"
For once she can't think of a lie, so she says, "Spur of the moment," and he nods. It'll be her good deed for the day, she figures. Besides, this morning she convinced him and Haley that "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" was really called "Hark! The Bare-Lipped Angels Sing," and that it was about all the angels who don't have mustaches. So. Even without a second lie today's already been a pretty huge success.
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Wanna Bet? by Anon (Castle, Castle/Beckett, ensemble, PG, 1,589 words)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
"Where did you come from?"
"Brunch," she said, as if it was the most logical answer in the world.
"It's 4:30 on a Tuesday afternoon."
"And?"
Castle
fiction
Castle/Beckett
Richard-Castle
Kate-Beckett
Alexis-Castle
Martha-Rodgers
Javier-Esposito
Kevin-Ryan
gen
humour
ensemble
yuletide
"Brunch," she said, as if it was the most logical answer in the world.
"It's 4:30 on a Tuesday afternoon."
"And?"
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Mental Unwellness and the Myth of the Veridian Unicorn by Anon (Better Off Ted, Phil/Lem, Veronica, Ted, Linda, Pg-13, 3221 words)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
"So what if he's hearing voices? As far as I'm concerned that just means we're getting extra input on our projects for no cost. In fact, I wish more of our employees had voices in their heads like Phil. Good job, Phil!"
Better-Off-Ted
fiction
Phil/Lem
Veronica
Ted
Linda
slash
humour
crack
yuletide
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Ooooops by xenakis (Merlin/surprise, Arthur, Merlin, G, art)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Merlin, when I said 'get us out of this nest of giant spiders', I did not, in fact, mean 'please erase the fabric of reality itself'.
Merlin2008
art
Merlin
Arthur
comic-strip
crossover
humour
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Devil in a Blue Dress by captanddeastar (White Collar, Neal/Peter, PG-13, 1,600 words)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
“You are not going undercover as a woman,” says Peter, firmly.
“I’ve done it before,” Neal wheedles, pulling a picture out of his wallet and dropping it on the table in front of Peter.
Peter leans over to get a good look at the face in the headshot and does a double take.
“Holy crap!”
“Hot, right?” Neal asks, lowering his eyes modestly.
“No,” Peter snaps, his mind on other things. He looks back down at the photo and amends, “Yes. I mean, no! But that’s not the point.”
White-Collar
fiction
Neal-Caffrey
Peter-Burke
Neal/Peter
slash
gen
humour
crossdressing
“I’ve done it before,” Neal wheedles, pulling a picture out of his wallet and dropping it on the table in front of Peter.
Peter leans over to get a good look at the face in the headshot and does a double take.
“Holy crap!”
“Hot, right?” Neal asks, lowering his eyes modestly.
“No,” Peter snaps, his mind on other things. He looks back down at the photo and amends, “Yes. I mean, no! But that’s not the point.”
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Tactus by toomuchplor (SGA, John/Rodney, PG, 4,000 words)SG
december 2009 by oxoniensis
"Have you *seen* that Czech kid you flagged to do Gerontius? I seriously don’t think he’s left the third-floor bathroom since you told him he has five days to learn an eighty-page score.”
SGA
fiction
Sheppard/McKay
slash
AU
romance
humour
firsttime
december 2009 by oxoniensis
c'mon, let's make a scene by seventhpage (Generation Kill, Brad/Nate, Ray/Walt, PG-13, 1,400 words)
december 2009 by oxoniensis
"Now as you all know, a certain basketball captain and another good friend of ours have been suspended for two weeks. You know what they were doing?"
"No!" the school shouts back, giggling, as Mattis bursts into the hall.
"Why, exactly the same thing as you, dearest Pendleton High students! Due to the homophobic attitude of wonderful leaders such as Principle Mattis, Brad Colbert and Nate Fick have been suspended, for doing exactly the same thing as the rest of you straight couples do - for sharing a chaste kiss outside the boys locker room after practice. They were suspended for kissing, simply because they both have dicks! What say you to that, homies?"
GenerationKill
fiction
Brad/Nate
Ray/Walt
Ray-Person
Brad-Colbert
Nate-Fick
AU
slash
humour
"No!" the school shouts back, giggling, as Mattis bursts into the hall.
"Why, exactly the same thing as you, dearest Pendleton High students! Due to the homophobic attitude of wonderful leaders such as Principle Mattis, Brad Colbert and Nate Fick have been suspended, for doing exactly the same thing as the rest of you straight couples do - for sharing a chaste kiss outside the boys locker room after practice. They were suspended for kissing, simply because they both have dicks! What say you to that, homies?"
december 2009 by oxoniensis
Drake for America by oneangrykate and jubilancy (DCU, Kon/Tim, Bruce/Dick, ensemble, ~6,500 words)
november 2009 by oxoniensis
In the beginning, for there was a beginning though not an end to this story, the Oracle announced her plan to her faithful second, Black Canary. She quoth, "Forsooth, the definition of insanity is repeating our actions endlessly with the expectation of better results. The spirit of Stephanie Brown haunts my clock tower, and her wraith cries for us to forge a new path."
"Okay," said Dinah. "But you're the one who actually has political experience. Why isn't this Gordon for America?"
Barbara's fingers paused on her keyboard. "Because I really want to see Robin kiss some babies."
The Black Canary broke the monitor with her laughter.
DCU
fiction
Kon/Tim
Bruce/Dick
crack
futurefic
slash
AU
humour
"Okay," said Dinah. "But you're the one who actually has political experience. Why isn't this Gordon for America?"
Barbara's fingers paused on her keyboard. "Because I really want to see Robin kiss some babies."
The Black Canary broke the monitor with her laughter.
november 2009 by oxoniensis
Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton (Harry Potter, Draco/Harry, PG, 31,000 words)
november 2009 by oxoniensis
When this season’s purple courgettes are woefully thin, Draco Malfoy thinks it amounts to small beans. Next thing he knows, the Department of Standards is over-run with leeks, Brussels sprouts all sorts of legislative difficulties, and somebody appears to have put a roquette under Harry Potter. Can Draco seize a marrow victory? Or will his plans for peas be squashed? [Bonus wonderful cartoons by raitala]
HP
fiction
art
Harry/Draco
Draco
Harry-Potter
humour
slash
firsttime
november 2009 by oxoniensis
The Supernatural Theory by Trolleys (Supernatural, Big Bang Theory, Sam, Dean, Sheldon, G, art)
november 2009 by oxoniensis
Sam and Dean trapped in The Big Bang Theory.
Supernatural
Big-Bang-Theory
art
Dean-Winchester
Sam-Winchester
Sheldon
crossover
humour
november 2009 by oxoniensis
five and a half people that james t kirk never succeeded in seducing by fahye (Star Trek, Avatar, Naruto, Merlin, etc, Kirk/Spock, teen, 2,533 words)
november 2009 by oxoniensis
five and a half people that james t kirk never succeeded in seducing
& one he did
(sort of)
(mostly)
(whatever, it counted)
Star-Trek
Avatar
Naruto
Merlin2008
The-Road-to-El-Dorado
St-Trinians
fiction
Kirk/Spock
crossover
humour
crack
slash
firsttime
& one he did
(sort of)
(mostly)
(whatever, it counted)
november 2009 by oxoniensis
Accessories by halcyon_shift (White Collar/Leverage, Neal, Hardison, Mozzie, G, 1,440 words)
november 2009 by oxoniensis
Neal's so over federal fashion accessories, Hardison's in love and Mozzie's probably raiding the liquor cabinet while no one's looking
White-Collar
Leverage
fiction
Neal-Caffrey
Hardison
crossover
gen
humour
november 2009 by oxoniensis
Kate, Short for Kevin by moonythestrals (White Collar, Neal/Peter, Elizabeth, PG-13, 2,100 words)
october 2009 by oxoniensis
Peter didn't get an MBA from a top business school and then join the securities fraud division of the FBI without a healthy appreciation for irony.
Neal Caffrey being his partner amuses him probably much more than it actually should. Hopefully no one notices.
White-Collar
fiction
Neal-Caffrey
Peter-Burke
Neal/Peter
Elizabeth-Burke
slash
humour
Neal Caffrey being his partner amuses him probably much more than it actually should. Hopefully no one notices.
october 2009 by oxoniensis
Holding Out For A Hero by deirdre_c (Supernatural, Dean/Sam, vid)
october 2009 by oxoniensis
Title: Holding Out for a Hero
Artist: Bonnie Tyler
Pairing/Rating: Sam/Dean (PG)
Length: 2:56 min
Spoilers: All the way through episode 5.07 (a couple of non-spoilery clips)
Summary: Honestly, who else could be Sam's hero?
Supernatural
video
Sam-Winchester
Dean-Winchester
gen
slash
humour
crack
Artist: Bonnie Tyler
Pairing/Rating: Sam/Dean (PG)
Length: 2:56 min
Spoilers: All the way through episode 5.07 (a couple of non-spoilery clips)
Summary: Honestly, who else could be Sam's hero?
october 2009 by oxoniensis
The Price of Expedience by kaneko and cesperanza (Due South, Fraser/Ray K, PG, 998 words)
october 2009 by oxoniensis
"Your Great Uncle Tiberius had homosexual tendencies in his youth, you know," Fraser's father said, conversationally, while Fraser was still recovering in the men's room. "They often found him frolicking naked in the snow with the local boys. Girls too. He was quite the charmer until he went insane."
"I'm not gay, Dad," Fraser said irritably. He splashed cold water on his face.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, son. I kissed Buck Frobisher once. Of course, we'd been snowed in for nearly a month by then, rations down to nothing. Thought we'd never see a woman again. It's surprising what can be attractive in a situation like that. I suppose in the right circumstances, I might even have eaten him," he mused.
Due-South
fiction
Fraser
RayK
RayK/Fraser
slash
humour
firsttime
"I'm not gay, Dad," Fraser said irritably. He splashed cold water on his face.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, son. I kissed Buck Frobisher once. Of course, we'd been snowed in for nearly a month by then, rations down to nothing. Thought we'd never see a woman again. It's surprising what can be attractive in a situation like that. I suppose in the right circumstances, I might even have eaten him," he mused.
october 2009 by oxoniensis
Platform 4 by Corona (Leverage, team, PG, 811 words)
october 2009 by oxoniensis
"Sometimes you just have to go with the flow, do what seems most sensible, like that time we all had to draw Eliot naked," Sophie offers into the quiet, and Nate can hear her smiling.
"I would like to point out that I was very unhappy about that job," Hardison says carefully. "Surprise nudity in the workplace just makes everybody awkward."
"It wasn't exactly fun for me," Eliot complains.
"It was easy for you," Parker protests, a chirp of blunt honesty through the comms. "You just had to sit around naked all day."
Nate's fairly sure he can hear Eliot quietly smouldering somewhere upstairs.
"And not even upside down," Parker continues. "The last time I was naked I was upside down and it was cold, and no one drew me."
Leverage
fiction
Nathan-Ford
Parker
Eliot
Hardison
Sophie
ensemble
gen
humour
"I would like to point out that I was very unhappy about that job," Hardison says carefully. "Surprise nudity in the workplace just makes everybody awkward."
"It wasn't exactly fun for me," Eliot complains.
"It was easy for you," Parker protests, a chirp of blunt honesty through the comms. "You just had to sit around naked all day."
Nate's fairly sure he can hear Eliot quietly smouldering somewhere upstairs.
"And not even upside down," Parker continues. "The last time I was naked I was upside down and it was cold, and no one drew me."
october 2009 by oxoniensis
Spilt Milk by sparky77 (Supernatural, Dean/Castiel, Sam, PG, 4,000 words)
october 2009 by oxoniensis
Sam still knows two things as absolute facts.
1. Even though Sam was the one who knocked over the milk, Dean was the one who got in trouble for not watching Sam, or for encouraging him, or for setting a bad example. That was just how things worked.
2. Sam’s three-year-old self was not sorry because even then Sam was willing to do anything to make Dean happy, no matter what the price. And even then, no matter how good his intentions were, things always ended up with Dean in trouble.
This isn’t to say that Sam is trying to compare accidentally starting the apocalypse to spilt milk.
Supernatural
fiction
Dean-Winchester
Sam-Winchester
Castiel
Dean/Castiel
slash
humour
1. Even though Sam was the one who knocked over the milk, Dean was the one who got in trouble for not watching Sam, or for encouraging him, or for setting a bad example. That was just how things worked.
2. Sam’s three-year-old self was not sorry because even then Sam was willing to do anything to make Dean happy, no matter what the price. And even then, no matter how good his intentions were, things always ended up with Dean in trouble.
This isn’t to say that Sam is trying to compare accidentally starting the apocalypse to spilt milk.
october 2009 by oxoniensis
the perfect spot to hear the apocalypse, acoustically speaking by kellifer_fic (Big Bang Theory, Penny, Sheldon, G, 797 words)
september 2009 by oxoniensis
"So, you know how you said only if I were the last man on Earth?"
"No, I said not even if you were the last man on Earth."
"Oh, well, given the statistical impossibility of that statement when you initially made it, I'm willing to allow you a small revision."
"Go to sleep Sheldon."
"Okay."
Big-Bang-Theory
fiction
Penny
Sheldon
humour
gen
"No, I said not even if you were the last man on Earth."
"Oh, well, given the statistical impossibility of that statement when you initially made it, I'm willing to allow you a small revision."
"Go to sleep Sheldon."
"Okay."
september 2009 by oxoniensis
liberty challenged by angelgazing (Psych, Gus, Shawn, PGish, 844 words)
september 2009 by oxoniensis
Sometimes, Gus daydreams about having a new best friend.
Most of the time, he can comfort himself from the trials of Life as Shawn Spencer's Best Friend with thoughts of a tell-all book, or by planning a trip to Vegas where they don't nearly get their kneecaps broken. When it gets tough, he just thinks about how popular his blog would be if he started telling all of Shawn's secrets, like how he's read all the Twilight books, and kind of thinks Robert Pattinson is dreamy.
Psych
fiction
Shawn
Gus
gen
humour
Most of the time, he can comfort himself from the trials of Life as Shawn Spencer's Best Friend with thoughts of a tell-all book, or by planning a trip to Vegas where they don't nearly get their kneecaps broken. When it gets tough, he just thinks about how popular his blog would be if he started telling all of Shawn's secrets, like how he's read all the Twilight books, and kind of thinks Robert Pattinson is dreamy.
september 2009 by oxoniensis
Accomplices by Lokei (Castle, Richard Castle, Alexis, PG, 667 words)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
“And Jameson Rook? I get the ‘rook’ part, but why on earth would you give yourself a name like Jameson?”
Castle raised his eyebrows comically. “I don’t know whether it is a relief to me as a father that you are too young to drink and too law abiding to ignore that fact, or appalled that a daughter of mine is not aware of the manifold beauties of whiskey.” At Alexis’s expected eyeroll, he continued, “Whiskey is an excellent thing—a little too strong if you’re not prepared for it, smooth once you get past the initial bite, and it warms you up once you get used to it.”
Castle
fiction
Richard-Castle
Alexis-Castle
gen
humour
Castle raised his eyebrows comically. “I don’t know whether it is a relief to me as a father that you are too young to drink and too law abiding to ignore that fact, or appalled that a daughter of mine is not aware of the manifold beauties of whiskey.” At Alexis’s expected eyeroll, he continued, “Whiskey is an excellent thing—a little too strong if you’re not prepared for it, smooth once you get past the initial bite, and it warms you up once you get used to it.”
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Rudy's Guide to Auras and Fair Game Play by sparky77 (Generation Kill, Rudy, Pappy, Brad, Ray, Poke, PG-13, 2,497 words)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
“What’s the point of playing a game you can’t win?” Brad asks. They all stare at him.
“You failed Kindergarten, didn’t you?” Person asks.
“Twenty-five,” Brad says.
Pappy glances quickly at Rudy, Rudy gives a slight shrug. Pappy nods. “Fair move.”
“How did you fucking know that?” Person asks.
Brad ignores him and stares at Pappy. Pappy stares back. He’s been around too long to be intimidated by the Iceman.
GenerationKill
fiction
Espera
Reyes
Patrick
Ray-Person
Brad-Colbert
gen
humour
“You failed Kindergarten, didn’t you?” Person asks.
“Twenty-five,” Brad says.
Pappy glances quickly at Rudy, Rudy gives a slight shrug. Pappy nods. “Fair move.”
“How did you fucking know that?” Person asks.
Brad ignores him and stares at Pappy. Pappy stares back. He’s been around too long to be intimidated by the Iceman.
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Junk Cheap by Devil Doll (SGA, Sheppard/McKay, R, 13,000 words)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
AU where Rodney is a college professor and John owns a junk shop.
SGA
fiction
Sheppard/McKay
McKay
Sheppard
slash
firsttime
AU
humour
romance
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Lucky Me by millylicious (BtVS, Riley/Buffy, Faith/Buffy, Parker/Buffy, vid)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Description: Love sucked, this Buffy was certain of (Life is a cheesy romance novel)
Song: "Lucky Me", Sarah Slean
Length: 3:00
Format: AVI (XVID)
Size: 47.4 MB (640x480)
BtVS
video
Faith/Buffy
Riley/Buffy
Parker/Buffy
humour
het
femmeslash
Song: "Lucky Me", Sarah Slean
Length: 3:00
Format: AVI (XVID)
Size: 47.4 MB (640x480)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Close Your Eyes and Think of England by monimala (Veronica Mars/Casino Royale 2006, Veronica/James, adult, 3,075 words)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
"I'm Veronica. Veronica Mars," she replied, copying his tone exactly, down to the smug note of 'you should be impressed.'
"Veronica, you're not marring anything. You're perfect," he growled. And since it was more than three words, she got the full force of a ridiculously sexy British accent. The kind that needed to come with a 'Warning: May cause dizziness' label.
God save her from bored continental playboys. She widened her eyes, pulling out her old stand-by, the bubble headed flirt voice. "So, if I were to return the compliment, would I, like, be making a bondage joke?"
VM
Bond
fiction
Veronica
James-Bond
James/Veronica
het
humour
crossover
"Veronica, you're not marring anything. You're perfect," he growled. And since it was more than three words, she got the full force of a ridiculously sexy British accent. The kind that needed to come with a 'Warning: May cause dizziness' label.
God save her from bored continental playboys. She widened her eyes, pulling out her old stand-by, the bubble headed flirt voice. "So, if I were to return the compliment, would I, like, be making a bondage joke?"
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Don’t Ask by oh-mcgee (Generation Kill, Brad/Nate, Ray, PG-13, 632 words)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
“Dude, we’ve been riding in this same piece of crap Humvee together for how long now? We annoy the shit out of each other, share dip, trade MRE’s, and rag on each other for every fucking thing we can think of just to pass the mother fucking time. We’re like married, dude. You think I don’t know when my man’s cheatin’ on me?”
GenerationKill
fiction
Ray-Person
Brad-Colbert
Brad/Nate
slash
humour
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Did you write the book of love? by ignipes (Leverage, Eliot, Parker/Hardison, team, PG-13, 1,400 words)
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Nate's phone rings fifteen times before he answers. Nate is a coward.
"I'm going to kill you," Eliot says.
Nate laughs. "Keep me updated. This is better than reality television."
Eliot hangs up. Nate is a cruel, sadistic bastard.
Leverage
fiction
Eliot
Hardison/Parker
Hardison
Parker
gen
het
humour
"I'm going to kill you," Eliot says.
Nate laughs. "Keep me updated. This is better than reality television."
Eliot hangs up. Nate is a cruel, sadistic bastard.
august 2009 by oxoniensis
Can't Stop The Turtle by roga (Firefly/Discworld crossover, ensemble, PG, 4,000 words)
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Taking on a job commissioned by an orangutan may seem to veer from Mal's (admittedly abysmal) usual standards, but when it comes down to it, gold is gold, right?
Firefly
Discworld
fiction
Mal
Jayne
Kaylee
River
Vimes
Zoe
Wash
Book
Simon
gen
crossover
crack
humour
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Fruition (or The Education of Arthur) by spiny (Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, NC-17, 7,004 words)
july 2009 by oxoniensis
It was really all Sir Wynston's fault.
Merlin2008
fiction
Merlin
Arthur
Arthur/Merlin
slash
firsttime
humour
romance
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Congrats, You've Met Your Match (The Space Captain Remix) by anon (Star Trek XI/SGA, Kirk/Sheppard, R, 3000 words)
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Point is, Sheppard means trouble. And Trouble is James T. Kirk's middle name. Give or take a few letters.
Star-Trek
SGA
fiction
Kirk
Sheppard
McCoy
Kirk/Sheppard
crossover
slash
humour
firsttime
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Simply Irresistible by Pandarus (Supernatural, Dean/Castiel, PG-13, 4,400 words)
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Dean stumbles back into the motel room just before dawn, aching all over and still drenched with the scent of flowers, and he can't get the smile off his face.
“Like a fucking pretzel,” he mutters happily, shaking his head as he toes off his shoes and collapses onto the bed. “Awesome.”
Supernatural
fiction
Dean-Winchester
Sam-Winchester
Dean/Castiel
Castiel
slash
het
humour
“Like a fucking pretzel,” he mutters happily, shaking his head as he toes off his shoes and collapses onto the bed. “Awesome.”
july 2009 by oxoniensis
JIM CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER by anon (Star Trek, Kirk/McCoy, ensemble, teen, 3,200 words)
july 2009 by oxoniensis
I IZ KEPTAIN. I HAS A COMMAND.
"Doctor, why is the Captain speaking in that manner?" Spock inquires, calm as usual, and Bones shrugs his shoulders helplessly.
"His translator malfunctioned. He's perfectly healthy otherwise."
"Should he not be in Sickbay?"
"I tried to get him to lie down for a while, but he kept insisting on cheeseburgers. I thought I'd humor him for a while, see what he'd do."
Behind them, Jim spins the chair around. I HAS A CHAIR. WHOA IZ DIZZEE CHAIR. Chekov stifles a snort.
(Make sure you go all the way to the end - IZ END BAIBAI - it's a long thread.)
Star-Trek
fiction
Kirk/McCoy
Kirk
McCoy
Spock
Uhura
crack
humour
slash
"Doctor, why is the Captain speaking in that manner?" Spock inquires, calm as usual, and Bones shrugs his shoulders helplessly.
"His translator malfunctioned. He's perfectly healthy otherwise."
"Should he not be in Sickbay?"
"I tried to get him to lie down for a while, but he kept insisting on cheeseburgers. I thought I'd humor him for a while, see what he'd do."
Behind them, Jim spins the chair around. I HAS A CHAIR. WHOA IZ DIZZEE CHAIR. Chekov stifles a snort.
(Make sure you go all the way to the end - IZ END BAIBAI - it's a long thread.)
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Five Times Ray Doesn't Get to Sing the Song of His Choice by oxymoronassoc (Generation Kill, Victor One, teen, 538 words)
july 2009 by oxoniensis
“Summer lovin’, had me a blast. Summer lovin’, happened so fast—Come on, Brad, you sing the boy part.”
“No, Ray. I will not sing ‘Summer Nights’.”
“I’ll sing it.”
“No, Walt. No one is singing ‘Grease’ in this humvee.”
“Brad, you’re an uptight, musical hating asshole. I thought middle class people loved musicals. You are all kinds of fucked up.”
GenerationKill
fiction
Brad-Colbert
Ray-Person
Walt-Hasser
gen
humour
“No, Ray. I will not sing ‘Summer Nights’.”
“I’ll sing it.”
“No, Walt. No one is singing ‘Grease’ in this humvee.”
“Brad, you’re an uptight, musical hating asshole. I thought middle class people loved musicals. You are all kinds of fucked up.”
july 2009 by oxoniensis
Gen Kill AUs by trolleys (Generation Kill, Brad/Nate, Ray, Encino Man, PG, art)
june 2009 by oxoniensis
Four wonderful AU sketches - Brad as an assassin who operates out of an icecream truck, Brad & Nate as daddies/uncles/babysitters, Brad and Ray as vigilantes and Nate as the guy who hires them to kill zombies, and Encino Man as a zombie.
GenerationKill
art
Brad-Colbert
Ray-Person
Nate-Fick
Brad/Nate
gen
slash
AU
humour
june 2009 by oxoniensis
Just Dessert by tallulah_rasa (Pushing Daisies/SG-1, Ned, Daniel, Sam, Jack, Teal'c, Olive, G, 1,650 words)
june 2009 by oxoniensis
"Ow," Daniel said. "Ow, ow, ow." He tried sitting up, looked around in some confusion at the hospital room surrounding him, and sank back to the floor. "Usually it's a Waffle House," he murmured, and then, "Ow" as an afterthought.
"I'm so sorry," said the man standing across the room, nervously glancing at his watch. "This is all my fault. Well, not that you're here, and not in a Waffle House, which – well, I don't know whose fault that is. I don't understand that, to be perfectly honest. But the rest of it, which you don't actually know about, but I assure you is probably more confusing than not being in a Waffle House, is that--"
Daniel looked down at himself, and back up at the man. "Are you Tok'ra?" he broke in.
"No, I'm Ned," Ned said.
Pushing-Daisies
SG-1
fiction
Ned
Olive
Samantha-Carter
Daniel-Jackson
Teal'c
Jack-O'Neill
crossover
humour
gen
"I'm so sorry," said the man standing across the room, nervously glancing at his watch. "This is all my fault. Well, not that you're here, and not in a Waffle House, which – well, I don't know whose fault that is. I don't understand that, to be perfectly honest. But the rest of it, which you don't actually know about, but I assure you is probably more confusing than not being in a Waffle House, is that--"
Daniel looked down at himself, and back up at the man. "Are you Tok'ra?" he broke in.
"No, I'm Ned," Ned said.
june 2009 by oxoniensis
Reading Against/Reading With... by emeraldwoman (Star Trek, various pairings, adult, 543 words)
june 2009 by oxoniensis
Spock carefully stroked the back of her neck with long fingers. "My own position vis-a-vis my ethnic inheritance is not devoid of problematic readings."
"Tragic Mulatto?"
"Indeed."
Uhura stretched. "Hmm. Tell you what, Spock. Let's see if we can create an Outsider narrative unbounded by paradigmatic expectations."
"Affirmative," Spock said, and started taking off his jacket.
Star-Trek
fiction
Kirk/McCoy
Spock/Uhura
Kirk/Spock/Uhura
Sulu/Chekov
crack
humour
het
slash
threesome
"Tragic Mulatto?"
"Indeed."
Uhura stretched. "Hmm. Tell you what, Spock. Let's see if we can create an Outsider narrative unbounded by paradigmatic expectations."
"Affirmative," Spock said, and started taking off his jacket.
june 2009 by oxoniensis
On How Sergeant Colbert is Nothing At All Like Winnie the Pooh... by sparky77 (Generation Kill, Brad/Nate, Ray, R, 2673 words)
june 2009 by oxoniensis
Brad is hiding under the Humvee again.
Brad once described these little episodes as a tactical retreat in order to preserve his sanity. Ray is completely in favor of Brad preserving what remains of his fragile grasp on sanity, but he's not feeling all that charitable right now. This is no tactical retreat. That fucker is hiding.
Ray hates it when Brad does this shit. Everyone freaks the fuck out. It's like being stuck in some 1950s melodrama where mommy has retreated to the bedroom with a valium and a bottle of vodka, and Ray is stuck reassuring all the little brats that it's okay. Mommy is just resting. She'll be fine tomorrow. Fuck this shit.
GenerationKill
fiction
Ray-Person
Brad-Colbert
Nate-Fick
Brad/Nate
slash
humour
yuletide
Brad once described these little episodes as a tactical retreat in order to preserve his sanity. Ray is completely in favor of Brad preserving what remains of his fragile grasp on sanity, but he's not feeling all that charitable right now. This is no tactical retreat. That fucker is hiding.
Ray hates it when Brad does this shit. Everyone freaks the fuck out. It's like being stuck in some 1950s melodrama where mommy has retreated to the bedroom with a valium and a bottle of vodka, and Ray is stuck reassuring all the little brats that it's okay. Mommy is just resting. She'll be fine tomorrow. Fuck this shit.
june 2009 by oxoniensis
99 Bowls of Plomeek Soup on the Wall by Petra (Star Trek: TOS, Sarek, Amanda, Spock, G, 868 words)
june 2009 by oxoniensis
AMANDA: "All the rock formations on this planet look the same anyway."
SAREK: "That is a false statement."
SPOCK: "The return voyage would last a known amount of time, whereas continuing in our current path may take an indefinite amount of time."
SAREK: "Spock, you are neither piloting this shuttle nor acting as its copilot. Your input is not required in this decision."
Star-Trek
fiction
Sarek
Amanda
Spock
gen
humour
SAREK: "That is a false statement."
SPOCK: "The return voyage would last a known amount of time, whereas continuing in our current path may take an indefinite amount of time."
SAREK: "Spock, you are neither piloting this shuttle nor acting as its copilot. Your input is not required in this decision."
june 2009 by oxoniensis
Very Special Agent DiNozzo: Investigative Hound by catwalksalone (NCIS, DiNozzo/McGee, PG-13, 5,700 words)
june 2009 by oxoniensis
It doesn't take long for Tony to work up a real head of steam about McGee's apparent lack of interest. It's a crime, is what it is. A very serious crime against Tonymanity. McGee is 100% pure geek--surely he has to be at least heteroflexible to maximize his slender chances of getting laid? He must want Tony. Why doesn't he want Tony?
"You could always move on," his inner voice tells him, but no. Tony's got the bit between the horns now, or the bull by the teeth, and he's not a Very Special Agent for nothing. There's going to have to be an investigation.
NCIS
fiction
Tony-Dinozzo
Tim-McGee
Tony/Tim
slash
humour
firsttime
"You could always move on," his inner voice tells him, but no. Tony's got the bit between the horns now, or the bull by the teeth, and he's not a Very Special Agent for nothing. There's going to have to be an investigation.
june 2009 by oxoniensis
Quarters by trinityofone (Supernatural, Dean/Castiel, Sam/Ruby, R, 3,800 words)
may 2009 by oxoniensis
Here’s how the car thing shook down.
Four people in the Impala? Did. Not. Work. There was not a single tolerable configuration. Dean had to be at the helm—Sam, he said, drove like somebody’s grandma, and the one time Dean had let Cas behind the wheel, they’d actually gotten pulled over because the angel was letting too many people pass them. (The only one Dean actually—albeit privately—considered to be a competent driver was Ruby, but he felt he had to refuse her on general principle.) If Sam sat in the back, he whined about his legs cramping up. (“Big baby,” said Dean.) But Ruby and Castiel sharing the backseat proved to be too much of a temptation for her: suddenly, stunts were being pulled that Dean remembered from his own childhood.
Supernatural
fiction
Dean/Castiel
Sam/Ruby
Dean-Winchester
Sam-Winchester
Ruby
Castiel
humour
slash
het
Four people in the Impala? Did. Not. Work. There was not a single tolerable configuration. Dean had to be at the helm—Sam, he said, drove like somebody’s grandma, and the one time Dean had let Cas behind the wheel, they’d actually gotten pulled over because the angel was letting too many people pass them. (The only one Dean actually—albeit privately—considered to be a competent driver was Ruby, but he felt he had to refuse her on general principle.) If Sam sat in the back, he whined about his legs cramping up. (“Big baby,” said Dean.) But Ruby and Castiel sharing the backseat proved to be too much of a temptation for her: suddenly, stunts were being pulled that Dean remembered from his own childhood.
may 2009 by oxoniensis
related tags
10Things ⊕ Adam ⊕ Addams-Family ⊕ Albus/Scorpius ⊕ Alexis-Castle ⊕ Alfred ⊕ Alias ⊕ Amanda ⊕ Andrew-Aguecheek ⊕ Angel ⊕ angst ⊕ Anne-Bronte ⊕ Anthropomorfic ⊕ Ari ⊕ Ariadne ⊕ art ⊕ Arthur ⊕ Arthur/Eames ⊕ Arthur/Merlin ⊕ Ash ⊕ Astrid ⊕ AtS ⊕ AU ⊕ Audrey-Parker ⊕ Avatar ⊕ Aziraphale ⊕ Bailey ⊕ Baldrick ⊕ Bat-Mite ⊕ Ben/Alison ⊕ Benvolio ⊕ Better-Off-Ted ⊕ Big-Bang-Theory ⊕ Black-Adder ⊕ Blackadder ⊕ Blaise ⊕ Bobby ⊕ bodyswap ⊕ Bond ⊕ Bones ⊕ Book ⊕ Boone ⊕ Booth ⊕ Brad-Colbert ⊕ Brad/Nate ⊕ Brennan ⊕ Bridget-Jones ⊕ Bridget-Jones-Diary ⊕ Bruce-Banner ⊕ Bruce-Wayne ⊕ Bruce/Clark ⊕ Bruce/Dick ⊕ Bruno/Boots ⊕ BSG ⊕ BtVS ⊕ Buffy ⊕ Burn-Notice ⊕ Captain-America ⊕ casefile ⊕ Casey ⊕ Castiel ⊕ Castle ⊕ Castle/Beckett ⊕ Cat ⊕ Charlie ⊕ Charlie-Epps ⊕ Charlotte-Bronte ⊕ Chekov ⊕ Chin-Ho-Kelly ⊕ Chrestomanci ⊕ Chris ⊕ Chuck(show) ⊕ Chuck-Bartowski ⊕ Clark ⊕ Clark/Alicia ⊕ Clark/Chloe ⊕ Clark/Lana ⊕ Clark/Lois ⊕ Clint-Barton ⊕ Cobb ⊕ coda ⊕ Colonel-Bellows ⊕ comic ⊕ comic-strip ⊕ Coupling ⊕ crack ⊕ crossdressing ⊕ crossover ⊕ Crowley ⊕ Dan ⊕ Dan-Rydell ⊕ Dan/Casey ⊕ Dana ⊕ Dani-Reese ⊕ Daniel-Jackson ⊕ Danny-Ocean ⊕ Danny-Williams ⊕ Danny/Rusty ⊕ Danny/Steve ⊕ Daphne-Moon ⊕ Darcy/Elizabeth ⊕ dark ⊕ Dave ⊕ DCU ⊕ Dean-Winchester ⊕ Dean/Castiel ⊕ Dean/Sam ⊕ Death ⊕ Demon ⊕ Devon/Ellie ⊕ Dex ⊕ Dex/Emmagan ⊕ Dick-Grayson ⊕ Die-Hard ⊕ Diefenbaker ⊕ Dinosaur-Comics ⊕ Discworld ⊕ Doctor ⊕ Dogma ⊕ Donna-Noble ⊕ Dr-Who ⊕ Draco ⊕ Due-South ⊕ Duke-Crocker ⊕ Duke-Crocker/Audrey-Parker/Nathan-Wournos ⊕ Dwight ⊕ Ed ⊕ EddieIzzard-Standup ⊕ Eleven ⊕ Eliot ⊕ Eliot/Hardison ⊕ Elizabeth-Burke ⊕ Emerson ⊕ Emily-Bronte ⊕ Emmagan ⊕ Emmagen ⊕ ensemble ⊕ Entourage ⊕ Eric ⊕ Eric/Tami ⊕ Espera ⊕ Eureka ⊕ Fairytales ⊕ Faith/Buffy ⊕ femmeslash ⊕ fiction ⊕ Firefly ⊕ firsttime ⊕ FNL ⊕ Fraser ⊕ Frasier ⊕ Frasier-Crane ⊕ Fringe ⊕ futurefic ⊕ Gaius ⊕ gen ⊕ GenerationKill ⊕ George/Izzie ⊕ Gibbs/DiNozzo ⊕ Giles ⊕ Gilmore-Girls ⊕ Gladstone ⊕ Gladys ⊕ God ⊕ Good-Omens ⊕ Grey's-Anatomy ⊕ Guinevere ⊕ Gus ⊕ Gwen ⊕ Hardison ⊕ Hardison/Eliot/Parker ⊕ Hardison/Parker ⊕ HarkAVagrant ⊕ Harry-Potter ⊕ Harry/Draco ⊕ Harry/Perry ⊕ Harvey-Specter ⊕ Harvey/Mike ⊕ Haven ⊕ Hawaii50 ⊕ het ⊕ High-School-Musical ⊕ Holly ⊕ HP ⊕ humour ⊖ I-Dream-of-Jeannie ⊕ Ianto ⊕ Inception ⊕ incest ⊕ IronMan ⊕ Isaac ⊕ Jack-Carter ⊕ Jack-Harkness ⊕ Jack-Harkness/Jayne/Kaylee ⊕ Jack-Harkness/Kaylee ⊕ Jack-O'Neill ⊕ Jack/Ianto ⊕ Jack/Nathan ⊕ James-Bond ⊕ James/Veronica ⊕ Javier-Esposito ⊕ Jayne ⊕ Jayne/Simon ⊕ JD ⊕ JD/Cox ⊕ Jeannie ⊕ Jeeves ⊕ Jeeves-and-Wooster ⊕ Jeeves/Wooster ⊕ Jeff ⊕ Jeremy ⊕ Joel ⊕ Joel/Wednesday ⊕ John-Casey ⊕ John-Hart ⊕ John-Winchester ⊕ John/Matt ⊕ Kate-Beckett ⊕ Kaylee ⊕ Kevin-Ryan ⊕ Kirk ⊕ Kirk/McCoy ⊕ Kirk/Sheppard ⊕ Kirk/Spock ⊕ Kirk/Spock/Uhura ⊕ KissKissBangBang ⊕ Knocked-Up ⊕ Kon/Tim ⊕ Kono-Kalakaua ⊕ Lancelot ⊕ Larry ⊕ Lee-Adama ⊕ Lee/Dee ⊕ Lem ⊕ Leverage ⊕ Lex ⊕ Lex/Clark ⊕ Lex/Lana ⊕ Life ⊕ Linda ⊕ Lindsey-McDonald ⊕ Lister ⊕ Logan ⊕ Lois ⊕ Loki ⊕ Lord-Flashheart ⊕ Lorelai ⊕ Lorne ⊕ Lost ⊕ MacDonaldHall ⊕ Maggie ⊕ Major-Anthony-Nelson ⊕ Major-Roger-Healey ⊕ Mal ⊕ Mal/Simon ⊕ Malcolm-Tucker ⊕ Mark/Eduardo ⊕ Martha ⊕ Martha-Rodgers ⊕ Martin-Crane ⊕ Marvel ⊕ MarvelThe-Avengers ⊕ Mary-Winchester ⊕ Matt/Julie ⊕ McCoy ⊕ McKay ⊕ McKay/OFC ⊕ Megamind ⊕ Mercutio ⊕ Merlin ⊕ Merlin2008 ⊕ Metatron ⊕ Metro-Man ⊕ Metro-Man/Megamind ⊕ Michael/Fiona ⊕ Michael/Sark ⊕ Mickey ⊕ Mike-Ross ⊕ Modern-Family ⊕ mpreg ⊕ Mulder/Scully ⊕ Mxyzptlk ⊕ Mycroft ⊕ Naruto ⊕ Natalie ⊕ Natasha ⊕ Nate ⊕ Nate-Fick ⊕ Nathan-Ford ⊕ Nathan-Stark ⊕ Nathan-Wournos ⊕ NCIS ⊕ Neal-Caffrey ⊕ Neal/Peter ⊕ Ned ⊕ Ned/Chuck ⊕ Niles-Crane ⊕ Nine ⊕ Northern-Exposure ⊕ Numb3rs ⊕ O11 ⊕ OFC ⊕ Olive ⊕ Olivia ⊕ OMC ⊕ OMC/OFC ⊕ original ⊕ Orsino/Viola ⊕ Owen ⊕ Owen/Guy ⊕ Parker ⊕ Parker/Buffy ⊕ Patrick ⊕ Patrick/Kat ⊕ Penny ⊕ Pepper-Potts ⊕ Peter ⊕ Peter-Burke ⊕ Phil ⊕ Phil/Lem ⊕ Pride-and-Prejudice ⊕ Prince-George ⊕ Psych ⊕ Pullo ⊕ Pushing-Daisies ⊕ PWP ⊕ Ray-Person ⊕ Ray/Walt ⊕ RayK ⊕ RayK/Fraser ⊕ Reaper ⊕ Red-Dwarf ⊕ Remus ⊕ Reyes ⊕ Richard-Castle ⊕ Riley/Buffy ⊕ Rimmer ⊕ River ⊕ Robin-Hood ⊕ romance ⊕ Rome ⊕ Romeo ⊕ Rose ⊕ Roswell ⊕ Ruby ⊕ Ruth-Ann ⊕ Saito ⊕ Sally ⊕ Sam ⊕ Sam-Winchester ⊕ Sam/Ruby ⊕ Samantha-Carter ⊕ Sarek ⊕ Satan ⊕ Scotty ⊕ Scrubs ⊕ Sebastian/Olivia ⊕ SG-1 ⊕ SGA ⊕ Shakespeare ⊕ Shannon ⊕ Shawn ⊕ Shawn/Carlton ⊕ Shawn/Gus ⊕ Shawn/Lassiter ⊕ Sheldon ⊕ Sheppard ⊕ Sheppard/McKay ⊕ Sherlock ⊕ Sherlock-Holmes ⊕ Simon ⊕ slash ⊕ Smallville ⊕ SN ⊕ SocialNetwork ⊕ Sophie ⊕ Spike ⊕ Spike/Buffy ⊕ Spike/Drusilla ⊕ Spike/Xander ⊕ Spock ⊕ Spock/Uhura ⊕ St-Trinians ⊕ Star-Trek ⊕ Steve ⊕ Steve-McGarret ⊕ Steve-Rogers ⊕ Steve-Rogers/Tony-Stark ⊕ Suits ⊕ Sulu ⊕ Sulu/Chekov ⊕ Supernatural ⊕ T-Rex ⊕ Tara ⊕ Teal'c ⊕ Teal'c/Cameron ⊕ Ted ⊕ Ted/Veronica ⊕ Ten ⊕ The-Avengers ⊕ The-Office ⊕ The-Road-to-El-Dorado ⊕ Thick-Of-It ⊕ Thor ⊕ Thor(2011) ⊕ Thor/Loki ⊕ Thor/Mjolnir ⊕ threesome ⊕ Tim-McGee ⊕ Toby-Belch ⊕ Tony-Dinozzo ⊕ Tony-Stark ⊕ Tony/Pepper ⊕ Tony/Tim ⊕ Torchwood ⊕ Tosh ⊕ Twelth-Night ⊕ Uhura ⊕ Veronica ⊕ video ⊕ Vimes ⊕ VM ⊕ Vorenus ⊕ Walt-Hasser ⊕ Walter ⊕ Wash ⊕ Watson ⊕ Webber ⊕ Weir ⊕ White-Collar ⊕ Willow ⊕ Wooster ⊕ X-Files ⊕ Xander ⊕ xkcd ⊕ yuletide ⊕ Yusuf ⊕ Zelenka ⊕ Zeus ⊕ Ziva ⊕ Zoe ⊕ Zoe-Carter ⊕Copy this bookmark: