"Veronica Mars," he says, recovering himself by adopting a terrible southern accent, "as I live and breathe."

Her mouth works soundlessly for a second, and Logan flashes wildly on the thought that she's going to punch him in the face. Which--it's not like she's ever actually done that, not like he's ever been particularly frightened of her physically…but. But there's a difference, he recognizes hazily, between Veronica Mars and The Legend of Veronica Mars, and he's spent rather less time with the former than the latter in recent years.

Neal is so very tired of saying no.

"The Illuminati," Neal said. "The actual Illuminati."

"It's more of a social club," Mozzie replied. "I mean, obviously they don't go around controlling the shadow government anymore."

"You don't believe in the moon landing but you believe the Illuminati is a social club?" Neal asked.

"Well, I've met them. I've never been to the moon."

"Forging Nullier," Neal said, almost admiringly, his nose two inches from the painting on the display easel. It was one of a pair of night scenes; shadowy hints at houses and trees in the foreground, red-gold sunsets in the background, the whole thing Impressionist-blurry. "That's ballsy. They did a good job, but these are definitely fakes."

Neal Caffrey can steal souls. Peter Burke has two shadows. Everything's normal...except when it isn't.

Arthur and Eames adopt a kid and raise that kid into Neal Caffrey.

The Suit stands for law, social control and all the things Mozzie fundamentally opposes, but he's married to someone Mozzie likes and he's sleeping with one of Mozzie's best friends, so he should probably know that Kate's in New York again.

As with so many other things that have gone off the rails in the last year, it starts like this:

"All right," Nate says, and smacks his hands together. "Let's go steal a con artist."

[12] White Collar
[20] Firefly
[01] Dark Shadows

Peter glowers at him. "I knew, I knew this was a bad idea. I knew this was too risky."

"You went along with it, didn't you?"

"Believe me, I'm asking myself why right now!"

Neal flashes a grin. "Because you can't say no to me?"

Pre-series, ~those~ bonds, 1-0: Neal's accidentally working for the mob, Kate is probably considering a new client list, Mozzie's waiting for The Man and The Man is a little more amused than it should be.

"Tell me you didn't do it," Neal said.

"Oh, sweetie." Her smile goes wicked. "Seven years of Neal Caffrey's ghost hanging around our house, six months of the two of you living in each other's pockets, and you only now think to bring up the subject of jealousy?"

"He's, ha, just wait until you hear this." Peter wiped his mouth, largely so that he could use the pause for effect. "Neal Caffrey is a sensate."

Elizabeth, being faster and much more sensible than him -- God, she was amazing, how the hell had he landed this woman? -- bypassed most of the elaborate disbelief that Peter had worked through, and simply set her fork down next to her plate. "And a shielder?"

"Apparently."

"That's -- well." She tilted her head. "That's something. Unregistered, of course."

"No lens," he agreed.

When Elizabeth opens the door and sees the two of them on the porch, she laughs and laughs and laughs.

“It’s not that funny,” Peter mutters – Neal silently disagrees. It is definitely that funny.

“How long have you been together?”

“Oh, just a few months,” Neal says, turning the full force of his smile on his neighbor. “But we’ve known each other for years and years. We met – sparks flew; he chased me, I chased him a little back. Then we were separated for three years, and just barely managed to stay in touch. But a few months ago, he brought me out of a really bad place, and we’ve been together ever since. It was meant to be,” Neal concludes, and he can feel Peter rolling his eyes behind Neal’s back.

“You are not going undercover as a woman,” says Peter, firmly.

“I’ve done it before,” Neal wheedles, pulling a picture out of his wallet and dropping it on the table in front of Peter.

Peter leans over to get a good look at the face in the headshot and does a double take.

“Holy crap!”

“Hot, right?” Neal asks, lowering his eyes modestly.

“No,” Peter snaps, his mind on other things. He looks back down at the photo and amends, “Yes. I mean, no! But that’s not the point.”

"Okay," Peter says, and there's a rasp in his voice. "Repeat after me: theft is not foreplay."

Elizabeth isn't a jealous woman. She's been married to Peter for 10 years, and there's no doubt in her mind that he loves her just as much as he did on the night he proposed - nervous and sweating and with such a distinct lack of subtlety that she started laughing halfway through the second course at the fancy French (French) restaurant and told him to just ask her before he fainted.

Neal's so over federal fashion accessories, Hardison's in love and Mozzie's probably raiding the liquor cabinet while no one's looking

Peter didn't get an MBA from a top business school and then join the securities fraud division of the FBI without a healthy appreciation for irony.

Neal Caffrey being his partner amuses him probably much more than it actually should. Hopefully no one notices.