The Avengers get shanghaied into chaperoning a high school prom. In Steve's opinion, things go downhill from there, but Tony's determined to save the night. With the Macarena.

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

As a child, Tony Stark spent a lot of time thinking about how cool it would be to meet Captain America. When it finally (improbably) happens, it doesn’t go at all like he’d imagined.

He’d pictured fewer insults, for one thing.

Song and Artist: "I Just Had Sex" by The Lonely Island (featuring Akon)
Fandom: Thor (2011 movie, Marvel comics, mythology, artwork)
Length: 02:54
Summary: When I had the sex, man my hammer felt great.

He wanted to steal some of that brightness and take it home with him, nurture it like a flame in the dark. He could have sat there watching the feast all night, drinking honey-sweet mead in small sips like liquid summer days. The Jotun hated warmth and fire and all things bright, but Loki did not. He was dazzled by it, drawn to it like a dwarf to gold, and so distracted that he did not notice the raven watching him, or Lord Odin bending to speak a serious word in his son's ear, or the threatening figure of Thor approaching his table. Not until a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.

[Clever Cinderella AU.]

"Hello Captain, I see you are mostly clothed today! Felicitations!" Thor said, while Steve smiled weakly back.

He sketches out schematics for two new models of repulsor boots and a pocket water filtration system on the back of a napkin—he’s nothing outside of the suit, is he, well fine, he’ll show that frosted-over Americana has-been douchebag--and gets out of the car in a whirlwind of irritation and almost-but-not-quite falling on his face.

“Those curbs’ll sneak up on you, boss,” Happy says, a hand on Tony’s elbow to steady him, his face perfectly straight.

Tony doesn’t pitch a fit in the middle of the street, but only because Happy keeps a chart for that kind of shit and Tony’s over his quota for the month.

Steve wakes up in the 21st Century. He doesn't think much of it, and it's dubious about him. He meets a Norse God, joins a superhero team, and feels terribly awkward about the whole momument at Arlington he's rendered obsolete by not being dead. Meanwhile, Tony is trying to make his mark on history by being the man who finally drove Nick Fury over the edge.

A voice - a voice which sounds distinctly like it’s cursing - drifts up from the tiny 'speakers'. Steve puts the phone back to his ear.

"Hello?" he tries again.

"You," the voice on the other end replies, dripping exhaustion and disdain. It sounds vaguely familiar, but he has troubles placing it, filtered as it is by the phone. "You're... you're the one with... shield. The blue… and star one...?"

There is a labored quality to the words, Steve realizes, and whoever is talking is breathing heavily between them.

"Who is this?"

"Loki," Odin says, heavy with disappointment and regret for all he has to raise his voice, "Odinson. I cast you out."

It was never easy to find Loki when he wanted to hide, but he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it at the moment. Probably he didn't think anyone from Asgard would be wasting their time hunting for him while the shining ones churned their way steadily through all the realm.