At age five, Spock informs his mother that it is illogical to wish him “sweet dreams” at bedtime because Vulcans do not dream. “Oh, Spock,” she says.

Jack loves working the Federation timezone. You meet the most interesting people.

Eventually, they discover it's all McCoy's fault. “What!” he protests. “He came to me with his hand sliced open from that damn pig-sticker of his, and I told him to find a hobby with fewer monomolecular edges! It's sound medical advice!”

Jim steals the whiskey McCoy thinks he has hidden behind the condenser coils in retaliation. It doesn't really come close to making things even.

"You could have mentioned you didn't want to be set up with girls," Jim says.

"I did," Spock says, "on many occasions."

"Yeah, but I thought you were still sulking about getting dumped."

He wakes up with Spock's hand on his hip. Naked hip. Huh. Well, this is interesting.

Now I think I see the light.
(XviD, 31 MB)

Spock spends his lunch hour under that tree every day. Jim takes to ditching Bones (to much bitching, but they already spend so much time together that rumours are starting to spread) and sauntering out onto the lawn to join him. Sometimes they talk and sometimes they just sit there; Spock usually has some kind of homework or extracurricular reading handy, and Jim likes to people-watch. Spock also seems to like sharing his food with Jim. Jim is toying with the hypothesis that Spock has actually started bringing extra, just for him.

"Mr Kirk," says the poor bastard assigned to teach Basic Principles of Vulcan. Jim wonders what he did. Teaching human cadets to say "My name is Bob" in Vulcan has to be the worst thing that one Vulcan could think of to do to another. "A word with you in my office."

“Commander Spock, we have located your son,” the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock’s face that he’s never heard of this kid before in his life. “If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week.”

"You have not found what you are looking for."

Jim feels his posture go a little rigid, but he ignores it, pops his knuckles as he says, "You wanna clue me in on what I'm looking for?"

She regards him quietly, but for once her eyes do not move. "I wouldn't know. I just know you haven't found it yet."

T'tithiens. "Yeah, okay," Jim laughs, forgetting to care when the bartender returns with his drink and the datapad requiring his thumbprint.

"Spock. Just say 'I don't trust Starfleet not to mess up the only captain in the fleet who I can train up to my expectations and enjoys running into danger wearing a blindfold as much as I do'."

What was wrong with his head now was somebody else's shit.

Point is, Sheppard means trouble. And Trouble is James T. Kirk's middle name. Give or take a few letters.

I IZ KEPTAIN. I HAS A COMMAND.

"Doctor, why is the Captain speaking in that manner?" Spock inquires, calm as usual, and Bones shrugs his shoulders helplessly.

"His translator malfunctioned. He's perfectly healthy otherwise."

"Should he not be in Sickbay?"

"I tried to get him to lie down for a while, but he kept insisting on cheeseburgers. I thought I'd humor him for a while, see what he'd do."

Behind them, Jim spins the chair around. I HAS A CHAIR. WHOA IZ DIZZEE CHAIR. Chekov stifles a snort.

(Make sure you go all the way to the end - IZ END BAIBAI - it's a long thread.)

It is the third mission of his command, and Captain James T. Kirk suspects he is going insane.

De-aged McCoy, Kirk, Spock and Uhura, being looked after by Sulu and Chekov!

Jack's not really sure what he's looking for in some dirty, backwards bar in Iowa of all places, but he's on break from Starfleet Academy, and the last thing he wants to do is visit Gilboa so his father can frown at his grades and tell him they're unacceptable for the future King.

17 The Sarah Connor Chronicles, 10 Lost, 8 Star Trek, 5 Fringe, 5 Doctor Who, 5 Parks and Recreation, 2 Alien, 1 Conan O'Brien, 1 Chiwetel Ejiofor, 1 Lord of the Rings

Spock doesn't tighten his lips or break the man's neck or so much as flinch, even when the guy uses words like specimen and beautiful and rare. He just dips his head in polite nods and makes grave courteous replies and even - at some incomprehensible cultural in-joke - makes a small nasal noise that could be mistaken for a laugh. Jim really hates this fucking planet.

"I'm your physician, Jim, you can ask me anything. Don't make me regret saying that."

"It's about genital compatibility between human males and Andorian women. Is it possible to have a penis that is just too big?" Kirk couldn't have looked more pleased with himself if he had just been promoted to admiral on the spot.

Jim tries to give Chekov ‘The Talk’; it turns out to be far more difficult than he imagined.

'Dear Ambassador Spock,' Jim writes, 'The new Spock thinks I am a total asshole and that sucks.'

It is another letter that he probably isn't going to send, but he likes the idea. He likes to think that maybe Ambassador Spock would give him some arcane clue as to how he can make his own Spock stop treating him like a coworker and more like, say, the best and truest friend in the universe. Unfortunately, he's pretty sure that clue would be something along the lines of spending years bonding under the extreme conditions of combat-- and that's not the remedy he's looking for here.

He deletes everything but the salutation, and blathers on about how he hopes the work at the colony is going well. He'll ask about what he should be doing in the next letter.

And maybe he'll ask about the wet dreams, if he's feeling really brave.

There are times (when being attacked by Klingons, for example) when life on the Enterprise is a million miles away from McCoy’s country practice. There are other times when it’s exactly the same.

By the time they land at the Academy, her flask is empty, he’s already started calling her ‘Bones’ and it’s like they’ve been friends for years.

Of course, they’re also the first new cadets to end up with demerits before they’re so much as measured for uniforms, on account of the fact that they’re both buzzed when they land.

Jim likes to think this cements their bond.

“If people just went around punching superior officers because they were assholes, there would be anarchy, and I’d be very bruised.”