A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A strange deck of Tarot cards, a dying TARDIS, and UNIT's invasion of a coastal Welsh village lead Torchwood to investigate the disappearance of the Doctor, with some help from Sarah Jane and Luke Smith. This is a new incarnation of the Doctor, however, and none of them are prepared for what they find as they unravel the mystery.

"It's been not nearly long enough," Ianto said. He held out his hands to the woman and kissed both cheeks. "I could have happily gone years without seeing you again. I may have to kill you all." Gwen blinked and looked at Jack, who had his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, Cousin Ian. Do you remember Wednesday? And these are Pugsley and Pubert; they weren't born when we visited last."

"You stole my pteranodon," the little girl said. There were razor blades in her voice.

"Prove it, maggot," Ianto replied.

vid title: Devil Said
music: "Dirty Horse" from Gram Rabbit
source: Merlin BBC, King Arthur, and Mists of Avalon
duration: 2:49

"Captain Jack Harkness," Gwen said, with a police officer's careful precision. "I am relieving you of your command."

"There's a cat," Ianto said. "On my back." "Hello moggie!" Owen said. "Where'd you come from?" "IM IN UR BASE -- " "And it's talking." "SITTIN ON YANTOE."

"You let Ianto fall into the Rift," Jack said, with a level of strained calm that had Owen edging towards the door. "Alright." He took a deep breath. "But you should know that nobody sleeps until we find him. And I'm probably going to fire you all."

"Take her – or him – on a date," Gwen said, not realising that she'd started pointing a staple-gun (what was that doing in here?) at him, "or leave them alone, John."

One brush with cannibalistic villagers and everyone felt the sudden urge to confess.