First of all, forgive me for saying this, but turkey, even when done the best it can be, is just not that good. I'm not saying you should replace your holiday turkey with lobes of foie gras or porterhouse steaks, but I'd just like everyone to be honest and lower the bar a little. Admitting that what you’re really attempting is to channel all the glory of American history and elevate a humble, relatively bland beast to the heights of culinary excellence is the first step towards sanity.