"Teddy Babes™ Remember when you were a kid and used to cuddle up at night with your favorite teddy bear? Well, now you're all grown up, and a beautiful plush girlfriend is waiting to share your bed!" - eugh.

"It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first, big dance. Their whole being absorbs my loving attention"

Yet more proof that child beauty contests should be made illegal across the world. Fucking creepy.

"A preparatory school in Lancashire has become the first in Britain to allow parents to watch their children's progress from the comfort of their homes or offices." Creepy.