Muad'Dib! What is best in life?

Just discovered FATAL: the rapey RPG w/ mechanics for body orifice circumferences & "retard strength".

RT @substitute: Today in Disturbing Products Nobody Asked for: the "Urban Turban"! #no #advertising

This October, let's remember the reason for the season.

Are you okay in there, Sen. Inhofe? Hello? Hello?
" Inhofe told the Associated Press that he spent about an hour examining more than a dozen photos, some showing gruesome wounds. "

...and reenact the longest naval battle in history? wtf courtesy of @zeekatai

...and reenact the longest naval battle in history? wtf courtesy of @zeekatai

Why is PETA selling commemorative "Bin Laden Bites" chocolates? Chewbacca, a wookie, lives on Endor!

Via @dailyrotten CP Distributor gets unwanted coupon graphic

I'm confused by this Willie Nelson concert poster. Clowns and country don't mix.

" All of which made Violent J's announcement a few years ago really quite astonishing: Insane Clown Posse have this entire time secretly been evangelical Christians. They've only been pretending to be brutal and sadistic to trick their fans into believing in God. They released a song, Thy Unveiling, that spelt out the revelation beyond all doubt "

Train them early for AAAAAHHH

"Paul Maidment, chief editor of Forbes.com, tendered his resignation, while new ‘chief product officer’ Lewis Dvorkin called an on-the-record meeting to announce a bold new online strategy for the company. ... That Forbes.com will soon be opening its doors to 1000s of unpaid contributors and that [rather than commissioning quality in-house journalism] “Forbes editors will increasingly become curators of talent”."

The disturbing fate of Little Orphan Annie, and how John McCain has absolutely nothing to do with it.

"Kick a Ginger" from 2009

"Kick a Ginger" from 2008

"Kick a ginger" from 2008

The horrors of Regretsy via @substitute I CAN'T UNSEE THIS THANKS

"I pledge to be a servant of our President." Service brings citizenship. Would you like to know more?

"If you, the American people, are forced to once again fight for your liberty in another American Revolution, you will not be alone. We will stand with you. There is at this time a debate within the ranks of the military regarding their oath. Some mistakenly believe they must follow any order the President issues. But you can rest assured that many others in the military do understand that their loyalty is to the Constitution, and understand what that means."

For your at-home mourning enjoyment. Frame, matte, candles, roses, and shrine room not included.

Okay, one non-snarky Michael Jackson reference: the man who might have been.

Goodnight sweet whatever.

The historical expenditures in this graphic are inflation-adjusted.

"The truth, so unlikely in this setting, is that Colonia Dignidad was founded on fear, and it is fear that still binds it together. Investigations by Amnesty International and the governments of Chile, Germany, and France, as well as the testimony of former colonos who, over the years, managed to escape the colony, have revealed evidence of terrible crimes: child molestation, forced labor, weapons trafficking, money laundering, kidnapping, torture, and murder."

"U.S. Army Chaplains serve both God and country by bringing their unique gifts with which they are endowed by God, to the Soldiers of our nation in the broad, challenging, diverse, and ever changing environment of the Army. ... Qualified and sent by their religious bodies, trained by the U.S. Army, and led by the God that they serve, Army Chaplains are expected to exercise dynamic and influential spiritual leadership, without violating their faith or conscience. Army Chaplains are the 'soul and conscience' of our nation's Army."

"There are some pretty amazing, yet basic, sociological practices and lessons to be learned from the Book of Leviticus. Very smart authors."

Blue Shield of California recognizes that we're anxious and recommends... homeopathy.

Furries GAAAAH

The horror really begins at 6:30.

The Surgeon General of Beverly Hills: "For a time, Beverly Hills doctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator."

""We believe the request ... to inscribe a birthday wish to Adolf Hitler is inappropriate," said Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman."

Count the number of times the full-page ad cries "usurper!" My personal favorite line: "The Armed Forces would be under no legal obligation to remain obedient to you."

With workshop names like "Crossing The Event Horizon - The Unified Field Theory of Nassim Haramein" and "Celestial Language and Song Activation for Soul Cleansing", you just can't lose.

"On the MRFF scale of classifying by various expletives the egregiousness level of things that are reported to us -- "holy crap," "holy shit," and "holy f..." -- this one, promoting creationism as a means of preventing suicide among our military personnel, was definitely a "holy f..." "

"Dressed in a black and red goth glam ensemble, Hard Rock Goth Punk Barbie® features a short ruffled skirt, fish net stockings, fingerless gloves and a lace up corset accented by a silver "spider" necklace and earrings"

"We, black American citizens of the United States of America and of the National Black Republican Association, do hereby declare that our fellow white American citizens are now, henceforth and forever more free of White Guilt."

It looks much more glorious on your neighbor's front lawn.

"They would be locked up there until they gave birth, whereupon they would be forced to give up their babies for a token fee of around 20,000 naira (170 dollars, 135 euros). The babies would then be sold to buyers for anything between 300,000 and 450,000 naira (2,500 and 3,800 dollars) each"

GAAAAH MY EYES TOO MUCH INFORMATION REFERENCE SOURCES FACTS AAAAH IT HURTS

" * are building emergency response servicing in partnerships with the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA. / * claim police department prayer and fasting cuts murder and crime and are convincing police forces to adopt prophecy and prayer based policing. / * have developed strategic outlines for taking control of society and government in Austin, Texas and other communities."

DEATH TO THE EVIL, EFFEMINATE BRITISH, THOSE CONSPIRING BASTARDS, narrated by Star Trek: Voyager's Robert Beltran. DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

"Reaching, Teaching, & Keeping Boys for Christ" GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

"The "documentaries" demonstrate the process through which communities and nations around the world have been transformed through spiritual mapping, and the expulsion of "strategic level territorial demons" and generational curses. The portrayed result is the creation of mini-utopias which provide confirmation and glimpses of the coming glories of the "Kingdom" when other religious systems have been defeated. Once the witches and demons are purged and the communities are led by "Spirit-filled" Christians ( some advertised as 92% saved), the videos document the amazing results: empty jails and reduction in crime, repair of environmental degradation and increased crop yields including huge vegetables, bars turned to churches, improved schools, miraculous large-scale healings of AIDs, and purging of corruption from government."

""Many white supremacist groups are going more mainstream," says Jack Levin, a Northeastern University criminologist who studies hate crime. "They are eliminating the sheets and armbands. … The groups realize if they want to be attractive to middle-class types, they need to look middle-class.""

"Two days ago, I listened to a 9-6-08 message by Bree Keyton, a young woman evangelist who had just traveled to Kenya and visited Obama's home village ... She said the witches, warlocks and those involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected."

Hal Lindsey's _Blood Moon_: "Angels appear, start wars, and vanish in the middle of thirty-page expository marathons sprinkled with troop movement data. Eventually, Jesus returns from the sky. He trips the evil Pope, and the Pope falls into Hell. ... Jesus gives them a villa for a wedding present, and they have sex."

with video: "And with that, Palin went to the front of the church and received a blessing from Muthee in which he asks God to use her to turn this nation around and to “make a way for Sarah in the political arena, bring finances her way for the campaign, in the name of Jesus" "

"Pray for our military... that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending them out on a task that is from God, that's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that plan is God's plan, so bless them with your prayers, your prayers of protection over our soldiers."

Uh...

Weird reified ethnocentrism / racialism is downright creepy as hell, but the crop metaphor is even creepier. "I am a proud American of Hispanic origin. I want you to know that Hispanics are instinctively, intuitively pro-life. There is a plentiful crop waiting to be harvested. All that is needed is enough workers."

"Simply log in after every time you have sex and fill out a few simple fields. Before long, you'll have a rolling history of your sex life on which to reflect."

"Great! Our virtual unborn Continental Congress is about to begin."

"Bobby Jindal, the 36-year old gov of Louisiana, ... narrated a bizarre story of a personal encounter with a demon, in which he participated in an exorcism... Jindal wrote that he believes that their ritual may well have cured her cancer."

"“The devil loves to take over business leaders and those who hold political office. Hitler and Stalin were possessed. How do I know? Because they killed millions of people. The Gospel says: ‘By their fruits you will know them.’"

more evil from Scotland, and the most brain-melting music videos ever created

"the president is like the father of a big family, and who he is and what he is – his spirit – affects everyone, like the sun. ... Presidents invisibly shape the character and worldview of the country," via Three-Toed Sloth

When I was a child, this would have sounded totally cool.

"A new children's book, My Beautiful Mommy, (being released on Mother's Day, no less) aims to explain to kids why their mom is getting plastic surgery."

This town needs an enema.

"To many young believers, the shooting had only one possible explanation: Satan, furious that the church had survived Haggard's downfall, was trying again. The tragedy was a test."

Meet the enemy: MySpace, Facebook, the International Network for Social Network Analysis (INSNA), Wikipedia, Bertrand Russell's "intellectual sodomizing", and the entire blogosphere. Fantastic.

Nice guys, the Taliban, not so bad once they abduct you and you get to know them.

1. Add hot water. 2. Let sit for 3-5 minutes. 3. Enjoy!