YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Also, prayer will summon an enormous manifestation of Aslan to hover over DC.

Campus Crusade for Christ changes its name to... a grunting sound.

The Statue of Liberty is a demonic idol to the "Queen of Heaven", a strategic level territorial demon.

Japan's stock market is down because the emperor had sex with a strategic level territorial demon.

Yes, Glenn Beck, clearly all those people in Japan are dead because your deity is reminding us of some rules of thumb.

"Tim LaHaye, co-author of the "Left Behind" series, told the crowd that the world is very close to coming to a very terrible end, and America's financial collapse is one of the main signs! That is some exciting stuff -- you're not just losing your job and your house and your future, but you won't even need a future, because Jesus is coming back to kill us all."

Abortion caused god to unleash his wrath on Australia, says... wait for it... wait for it... Catch the Fire Ministries.