jpfinley + humor   7

Alien Urbanism
De-Urbanization as Defense Against Alien InvasionThe previews for the new Rogue movie 'Skyline' made me think of a possible benefit from the general dispersion of urban populations.  As shown in the film, the prototypical invasion is preceded by.the traditional 'parking' of ships above all of the 'worlds cities' that has been echoed in sci-fi genres since, well, forever.:: image via shockya.comThis focus on urban areas - and the concept of dense aggregation of populations makes us vulnerable to attack by aliens due to the ease in which they can focus their energy in a few areas, versus trying to conquer and occupy the globe 'block-by-block' if you will.  The energy to root out the distributed population around the world would have been difficult, if not impossible.:: image via coming attractionsWith the ever increase move towards cities, we have tipped the scales as to our virtual ease of invasion, which has likely caught the attention of alien cultures.  Long written off as rural 'hicks' the massive move towards an urban culture has definitely put us on the radar in terms of planets with considerable natural resources, able-bodies worker/slaves, and comparably low-tech weaponry, gleaned from historical accounts, such as 'War of the Worlds'.  :: image via What IfAs seen in Independence Day, the ability to concentrate on a few cities gives a competitive disadvantage.  A survey of world cities shows that from the largest (Tokyo, Japan 32.4 million) to the 100th largest (Napoli, Italy 3.0 million).  Given the impact of destruction on the top 100 or even the top 50 would wreak serious havoc on the world economies and peace of mind. :: image via Top 10 ListA breakdown of the top fifty shows the geographical distribution - and although only 4 of these are US cities - they seem distributed throughout the area nicely for maximum impact - being able to keep an eye or remaining, less dense zones.  Hollowing out of larger US cities and megalopolitan agglomerations of multiple cites and edge cities will make it harder to define a 'center' in which to hover.  This has reduced our vulnerability, and massively expanding super-metropolises in Asia will be greater targets.1. Tokyo, Japan - 32,450,0002. Seóul, South Korea - 20,550,0003. Mexico City, Mexico - 20,450,0004. New York City, USA - 19,750,0005. Mumbai, India - 19,200,0006. Jakarta, Indonesia - 18,900,0007. Sáo Paulo, Brazil - 18,850,0008. Delhi, India - 18,680,0009. Õsaka/Kobe, Japan - 17,350,00010. Shanghai, China - 16,650,00011. Manila, Philippines - 16,300,00012. Los Angeles, USA - 15,250,000 13. Calcutta, India - 15,100,00014. Moscow, Russian Fed. - 15,000,00015. Cairo, Egypt - 14,450,00016. Lagos, Nigeria - 13,488,00017. Buenos Aires, Argentina - 13,170,00018. London, United Kingdom - 12,875,00019. Beijing, China - 12,500,00020. Karachi, Pakistan - 11,800,00021. Dhaka, Bangladesh - 10,979,00022. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - 10,556,00023. Tianjin, China - 10,239,00024. Paris, France - 9,638,00025. Istanbul, Turkey - 9,413,00026. Lima, Peru - 7,443,00027. Tehrãn, Iran - 7,380,00028. Bangkok, Thailand - 7,221,00029. Chicago, USA - 6,945,00030. Bogotá, Colombia - 6,834,00031. Hyderabad, India - 6,833,00032. Chennai, India - 6,639,00033. Essen, Germany - 6,559,00034. Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam - 6,424,51935. Hangzhou, China - 6,389,00036. Hong Kong, China - 6,097,00037. Lahore, Pakistan - 6,030,00038. Shenyang, China - 5,681,00039. Changchun, China - 5,566,00040. Bangalore, India - 5,544,00041. Harbin, China - 5,475,00042. Chengdu, China - 5,293,00043. Santiago, Chile - 5,261,00044. Guangzhou, China - 5,162,00045. St. Petersburg, Russian Fed. - 5,132,00046. Kinshasa, DRC - 5,068,00047. Baghdãd, Iraq - 4,796,00048. Jinan, China - 4,789,00049. Houston, USA - 4,750,000 50. Toronto, Canada - 4,657,000New York City is an obvious target, as well as being a world center - it is the identification of the American ideology of cities... the showdown in 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' making Central Park a 'landing strip' for first contact.:: image via Entertainment Wallpaper:: image via Box Office MojoThe phenomenon is not relegated to the cinematic, but permeates animated features - like this tri-valent attackers about a San Francisco-like urban area in 'Monsters v. Aliens'. :: image via Box Office MojoThe worlds icons perhaps will be the next wave, as shown in this photo op from 'Mars Attacks' - taking down the Taj Mahal.  This is more of a strategic destruction left for:: image via Electronic DragonflyAnother recent film, District 9 shows a more dystopian view, the disabled ship hovering over the ever sprawling shantytowns outside of Johannesburg, South Africa. :: image via Sound on SightThe television series 'V' shows that although special effects and technology evolve - the focus on world cities is not variable... hovering over 1980s (and then returning in the 2009 for more.  Sure they act nice, but they park their ships about all the world's series ready to turn us in to lizard people.  You definitely don't see these parked over Grand Forks, North Dakota (maybe due to the still remaining nuclear arsenal in the Dakotas - or maybe because they are scared of this.):: V (1980s version) - image via Automopedia:: V (2009 version) - image via AstroNerdBoys Ramblings As with many of these films and series, the escape from cities is the only hope - rendezvous with other survivors in the desert (hopefully one with a large collection of planes and Jeff Goldblum & Will Smith).  While the occasional film will show aliens in the cornfields of the Midwest, or the sacred natural spaces in the middle of nowhere - but odds are, they will soon be hovering over a large city near you. With this news, we may rethink our flight to the cities and look for a sprawling alternative - evenly covering the globe in groupings no larger than a few thousand - not calling attention to our agglomerations.  It may be our only hope.
urbanism  humor  density  dialogue  suburbia  from google
november 2010 by jpfinley
I dream of pork.
Vegetarians apparently have nightmares about meat. They’re called meatmares.

I am not making this up:

A terrifying dream afflicting vegetarians in which the dreamer experiences extreme feelings of anxiety about meat. Nightmares might involve horrifying visions of meat or the (troubling) experience of eating meat.

By way of example:

“I was on like a hotel balcony just stuffing bacon in my mouth. I could hear my conscious mind telling me not to eat it, that it was bad for me. I also remember my brother in the dream yelling at me from below not to eat it. I made myself wake up and was so happy it was only a dream.”

To quote Bourdain:

Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food. The body, these waterheads imagine, is a temple that should not be polluted by animal protein. It’s healthier, they insist, though every vegetarian waiter I’ve worked with is brought down by any rumor of a cold.
Links  Food  Humor  from google
september 2009 by jpfinley
She purrs.
With Apple’s OS X Snow Leopard update shipping today, one can’t help but wonder what’s next.

Thanks, World Famous Design Junkies.
Apple  Humor  Links  from google
august 2009 by jpfinley
Andy's Blog: Airplane! v Zero Hour
The movie Airplane! is an almost scene by scene remake of the 1957 movie Zero Hour. These videos compare the two films.
film  humor  movies  video 
july 2007 by jpfinley
Straight Dope Message Board - The horror of blimps
Somewhere in the control room of my mind a fat little dwarf in a security outfit was paging through a Penthouse while smoking a cigar with his feet up on the table, watching the security monitors of my brain with his peripheral vision.
humor  writing  blimp 
july 2007 by jpfinley

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