So let’s talk about virginity. Virginity is fine. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with virginity. Virginity is just something you haven’t done yet, and there are a lot of things we never get to do, right?

You’re actually doing it. I mean, we’ve all dreamed of blow-drying our balls out in the open, but you’re actually doing it in front of me and at least sixteen other people that just finished exercising at this pricey sports club. Some of us will do it in private in our homes, or in a hotel room using a hairdryer a stranger might have just used to style their hair for that big business meeting in Denver. But not you. You are not confined to such social norms, norms that usually keep flapping, flag-like balls out of my eyes.

MikeUnderscore2004@yahoo.com

MikeAtYahooDotCom@hotmail.com

Mike_WardAllOneWord@yahoo.com

AAAAAThatsSixAs@yahoo.com

One1TheFirstJustTheNumberTheSecondSpelledOut@hotmail.com

1. Approach the sports bra with confidence, secure in the belief that you will wear it.