Adam hates Thanksgiving. "There aren't even presents!" he grumbles, just like he has every year since he was five. "The best holidays have presents. We never even got to celebrate Christmas growing up, so I'm present deprived."

"Hanukkah has eight nights of presents, douche," says Neil. "You're so greedy."

Last Thanksgiving, Adam had punched Neil in the face by the end of the meal. This year, he doesn't know if he'll make it that far.