"This is John Connor, leader of the Human Resistance... Microsoft’s Project Natal must never be completed, no matter what the cost. This machine, with its RGB camera, depth sensor, multi-array microphone, and custom processor running proprietary software, as well as its ability to track up to four human users for motion analysis, is clearly the precursor the killing machines of the near-future that haunt my dreams every night."

"And that is why, in 2009, when developing in Microsoft .NET 3.5 for ASP.NET MVC 1.0 on a Windows 7 system, you cannot include /com\d(\..*)?, /lpt\d(\..*)?, /con(\..*)?, /aux(\..*)?, /prn(\..*)?, or /nul(\..*)? in any of your routes." Madness.

"Sony acts like a character in a Charlotte Brontë novel--they seem to think they have an entire lifetime to seize the moment."

"When we assembled a focus group of Xbox Live players, they immediately asked for one feature we hadn’t even considered - in-depth tracking of the groin area, for post-kill celebrations. We were proud to help them find a new revolutionary way to teabag - and believe me, these ain’t no waggle controls." Hardcasual goes for the soft targets, as usual. Ahehe.

If you want a wrap-up of the Microsoft keynote, you could do no better than Brandon's wrap-up for Offworld - spot on, nicely detailed, and covering all the facts with great illustration. Whilst their titles - L4D2, Forza 3, etc - are obviously real assets, it's their commitment to the 360 as a platform in the living room that was impressive.

Microsoft on their new MSN Music service, weighed-down by DRM. I don't normally link to stuff about DRM, but frankly, every single response in this is comedy gold.

"Kodu is a new visual programming language made specifically for creating games. It is designed to be accessible for children and enjoyable for anyone. The programming environment runs on the Xbox, allowing rapid design iteration using only a game controller for input." Which is interesting. I know it's only a research project, but it'd be lovely to play with some time.

"If you want a recipe for restless sleep, I can give you one. Add one part “what will my wife think” with 3,000 parts Benjamin Franklin; stir in a “beer anytime you damn well please” and top with a chance at financial independence."

Microsoft no longer offer Windows 3.x licenses (and obviously haven't offered support for the product for a while). Program Manager, File Manager, come in; your time is up.

"Microsoft may very well not be broken. The world needs reliable bureaucracies that mollify the needs of corporations and individuals in the center of the market. But if it is broken, advertising isn't going to fix it."

"One thing is clear. Microsoft has to move beyond its mentality of being a software company that can launch fast and fix later. With global markets and global launches, the consequences of such a cavalier approach to hardware quality can start to pile up." Detailed, long article from Dean Takahashi on the myriad problems with the 360 hardware, and how Microsoft responded.

"Given that Valve is being forced to charge for the update, they wanted to ensure that 360 owners were getting their money's worth." Such a shame they have to charge for it - but still, more TF2 on 360, and that's a good thing from my perspective.

"You read a lot (in incandescent threads devoted to the topic) about how ten dollars is the "sweet spot" for Live Arcade titles, and that may be the case, but we should entertain the idea that its creator wasn't trying to make an "Xbox Live Arcade Game." Perhaps he was trying to make a good game, the best game he could, and Microsoft's Broadening Initiative For Digital Content was the last thing on his mind." Tycho is pretty much right; the whole Braid-pricing issue isn't just a non-issue, it's maddeningly stupid, and people - including Microsoft - need to get over it.

Silly, overproduced, over-expensive video to pep up the Microsoft sales team for managing to get their heads around the sheer number of SKUs for Vista. This is what Big Companies think is a valuable use of money

"We believe that the interests of Internet users come first -- and should come first -- as the merits of this proposed acquisition are examined and alternatives explored."

Initial press release for Microsoft's "Bob". Never mind!

"I'm glad Microsoft is dead. They were like Nero or Commodus—evil in the way only inherited power can make you. Because remember, the Microsoft monopoly didn't begin with Microsoft."

Lovely Photoshop job on the Mitchell & Webb Apple ad.

Oh god. This is such a terrible, terrible idea.