I had no idea marketing was a LARP

Here's choice samples of O'Reilly's prose, read by he who trespasses against the English language himself.

"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The Times

Judges jailed children in private prisons that paid them kickbacks. Surprised the sentence was 87 months and not 87 years.

According to court records, the search also turned up "apple martini mix, multiple data storage devices, including multiple computer hard drives, memory cards, Valium and Xanax and a handbook on the investigation of sexual assaults."

suicide prevention via rick warren and creationism. yeah.

Area disease not inclusive enough to warrant charity, says student association. Forehead slap from others heard the world 'round.

"We, black American citizens of the United States of America and of the National Black Republican Association, do hereby declare that our fellow white American citizens are now, henceforth and forever more free of White Guilt."

These are not your ordinary shirts! Why? Research that shows written words on containers of water can influence the water's structure for better or worse depending on the Intent of the word. The human body is over 70% water. We believe that these positive, loving and powerful words will have a profound effect on your entire being. We are so high, so so very high.

Yes, it's a michael stipe polo shirt. Talk about the passion!

wacky spiritual warfare groups are trying to take over the government. also, they're wacky.

Dystopian view of the future after Obama's election. Alarmist, yet illiterate. "As a result, pornographic magazines are now openly displayed in gas stations, grocery stores, and newsstands..."

the latest on the Third Wave Christian Magick Nuts and their attempt to change everything with D&D techniques

Area evangelicals believe Kenyan witchcraft is being used to attack the Republican candidates. Daily. At 3 am.

Vicious, bigoted demagogue has written an entire book about a Christmas sweater.

"It was not our intention, but it was our misfortune to be in close quarters with John McCain for almost a week." A very bad vacation with John McCain.

Man can't make it home from the doctor and ends up lying on the street half conscious for four hours. Cops, 911 dispatch, CHP, bystanders do nothing. Go O.C.!

Lifestyle marketing hell as well-known writers shill for Lexus. Et tu, Jane Smiley?

Stout orders down and they're producing some abomination called "Red" now