A couple of my friends on facebook were talking about Nick Fury reading Go The Fuck To Sleep, and dared me to come up with a verse for each Avenger on the fly.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Poem by W.H. Auden

Title: Your Moral Crisis is Stupid Rating: NC-17 Pairing: John/Sherlock Length: 8400 words Summary: Sherlock is asexual. John is not. Possibly, Sherlock should have told him this before they had sex. Notes: Thanks, lillyankh for looking this over and making sure it wasn't really dumb or shallow or any of that! ♥! Written for this prompt on the kink meme.

kiss animation monochrome
by ~br0-Harry
Scraps ©2012 ~br0-Harry
textures abuse
tumblr [link]

sugar pink [link]

Summary: Present day fic. It's been years since the filming of Stuart: A Life Backwards, but despite everything, Tom always finds him.

Notes: I don't even know. Written after watching Stuart: A Life Backwards last year. I got a craving for the Heath and incoherent randomness. Oh, and absolutely no one passing by and seeing them? The stuff of fantasy :P

Summary: It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

Fan fiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money. That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They're fans, but they're not silent, couchbound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language.

Title: Thought Experiments
Fandom: Sherlock
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Rating: R
Word Count: 7300
Spoilers: 1x02
Disclaimer: In no way mine, or anything to do with me, I own nothing.
Summary: Thought experiment: an attempt to solve a problem using the power of human imagination.
AN: Written for the always amazing sarren who wanted me to try writing something for Sherlock. I tried to work to your prompt. I really hope you like it.

Title: A Silver Sixpence
Author: _doodle
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC 2010) FPS
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes / John Watson
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 16,400
Beta: tehomet and alizarin_nyc.
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to the BBC, Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. The Empty House all things originally Holmesian belongs to ACD. No profit is being made, no offense is intended.

Summary: John, we need to get married.

Notes: My second story written for the sherlockbigbang. Huge thanks to alizarin_nyc for doing a fabulous alpha and beta job on this, and helping me fill in the gaps in the middle to make this a much more rounded story. Once again, it's all angelnetgirl's fault, for giving me the idea and then egging me on. Only it's not all bad, as I had great fun writing this! ♥

Title: The Plan
Rating: Maybe 15+, if I'm being very cautious.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and am making no profit from their use, more's the pity.
Warnings/ Pairings: Slash, Sherlock/John
Summary: John had a plan, and its name was Get Some Sex.  And the capitals were most certainly necessary.

Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

So, a few weeks ago my friends offered me free advance tickets to see Star Trek . I laughed and refused: I had never been able to get through a whole episode of Star Trek . But I kept hearing about how awesome the new movie was, and so I thought, well, I could use a break from restoring my …

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE THE CAPTAIN

By Dr. Lyraseuss

bree_black: "Let's get gay married!" commentfic meme.

Commencement Day Speech of the Day: Stephen Colbert speaks before what very few have called “The Greatest Generation” at his alma mater, Northwestern University.

Title: Meet Me at the Barricade<br />
Beta: [info]rainbowstrlght; thank you so much. ILY.<br />
Series: STXI AU<br />
Pairing: Kirk/Spock, past Kirk/Gaila<br />
Rating: NC-17<br />
Length: ~18,550<br />
Summary: In the treacherous, misty hills of Orion juts a great mountain. There one can find Gaila, Queen of the Cloudfolk, her daughter and heir, Kailan, and a lone warrior who is not like the rest. When a party of Vulcans arrive from the far south with promises on their lips and lirpas standing tall at their hips, one wonders if a victor can rise from this.<br />
Warnings: Graphic violence, murder and blood.<br />
Link to Art: HERE by [info]deliciousny <br />
A/N: Written for [info]trekreversebang. It was such an immense pleasure to work with the talent of [info]deliciousny. I couldn't have been luckier. She is truly one of the most inspiring and clever Trek artists I've had the pleasure of collaborating with!

Title: Like Cats and Dogs<br />
Universe: ST:XI AU<br />
Pairing: Kirk/Spock<br />
Rating: PG-13<br />
Word Count: 2,325<br />
Warnings: Verbal references to sex; Jim and Spock are also both animals in this.<br />
Summary: Jim just wants to be friends, but somehow Spock finds this hard to believe—a classic case of misunderstanding.<br />
A/N: Somehow [info]cannedebonbon convinced me that writing pure, unashamed crack based on Nintendogs would be a good idea.

Title: Oh oh oh (won’t you carry me home)<br />
Series: STXI<br />
Rating: PG<br />
Length: ~200<br />
Warnings: Unbeta’ed silliness.<br />
Summary: A drabble prompt from the lovely [info]norwegianwood23: Fireman’s carry.<br />
Disclaimer: Somewhere over the slash rainbow of my mind, it happened. But not in Kansas, unfortunately.<br />
A/N: This is so very short, the only reason I’m putting this on my LJ is for my obsessive filing needs.

Title: The Kiss and the Nicotine<br />
Rating: NC-17<br />
Disclaimer: Hot, dirty lies.<br />
Summary: You know what's hotter than Shatner reading on the couch with a cigarette? Nothing, that's what. NOTHING. ~2400 words. Not beta-read.

Well, I guess this’ll let everyone know how much of a pervert I really am.

Title: A Mountie Doing What a Mountie Does Best<br />
Pairing: Kirk/Spock<br />
Rating: NC-17<br />
Warnings: Porn again. Also, Spock is slightly underage.

Genetic memory, or the Agaric's tale

A simple list of 10 things I wish I'd heard when I was in college.

Jim as Peter Pan and Spock as Tiger Lily as requested by Mandy. Lol please ignore the fail background I half-assedly added. Oh and that little black speck there by Jim? Yeah, that’s Tinkerbell!Bones...

Title: Mi amore vole fe<br />
Author: [info]htebazytook<br />
Rating: NC-17<br />
Disclaimer: <--<br />
Pairing: Zach/Chris<br />
Author's Notes: Love needs faith. And apparently a lot of sex along the way.

Title: Like a Frog<br />
Author: [info]htebazytook<br />
Rating: NC-17<br />
Disclaimer: <--<br />
Warnings: Derogatory words. Essentially non-explicit het.<br />
Pairing: Zach/Chris, Chris/Beau<br />
Author's Notes: This is my twisted version of a songfic. (It's not really a songfic.) In which Chris is addicted to his phone.

Fic: Plug in, Baby<br />
Title: Plug in, Baby<br />
Universe: ST:XI AU<br />
Pairing: Kirk/Spock<br />
Rating: NC-17<br />
Word Count: 2,089<br />
Warnings: Explicit sexual content.<br />
Summary: Jim is only a lowly sound technician at Starfleet Records, but somehow this doesn't prevent him from getting his brains fucked out by one of the galaxy's biggest pop stars: S'chn T'gai Spock.

Cinephiles love reading way too much into a films, and 99 percent of the stuff they come up with is bullshit ("what if Haley Joel Osment was also a ghost?") but other times, they turn out to be right (yes, Harrison Ford really was a replicant in Blade Runner).

Well here are some oddball, yet strangely plausible, alternate fan theories that in many cases actually improve the movie quite a bit.

Online version of the weekly magazine, with current articles, cartoons, blogs, audio, video, slide shows, an archive of articles and abstracts back to 1925

Baby-sitters Club The Next Generation #6: Byron and the God of California by zelempa
Summary:
And then he was there, standing in the doorway.
He obviously hadn't put much thought into what he was wearing, but somehow, he made a white T-shirt and jeans look like designer fashion. Unlike most of my shirts, his actually fitted him perfectly, showing off his slim waist and muscular arms. The bright white set off his golden skin perfectly. Around his throat he wore one of those hemp-and-shell surfer necklaces. His pale blond hair had been cut short and stuck out in every direction. He was grinning that wide, friendly, dimpled grin of his.
Oh, man. Oh, man. I was in trouble.

Photographer Mariel Clayton explores Barbie’s evil alter-ego in her doll dioramas.

This is the place where the bad toys go. Its where all the children who fight against set gender roles and the worlds warped idea of who they should be come to relax. Its for all those who think humour and art are not mutually exclusive.

Amok Time cake - WANT THIS LIKE WHOA.

Are you sick of the multitudes of Star Trek/Alejandro crossovers out there? Nope? WELL GOOD.<br>Just what it says on the tin! Because Star Trek and Lady GaGa go ...

Title: Somewhere That’s Green (or, Suddenly Christopher) 1/3<br />
Author: [info]the_deep_magic<br />
Pairing: Pinto<br />
Rating: NC-17<br />
Word Count: 21,712<br />
Warnings: underage sexuality (both are 17), past Chris/Beau and Zach/Matt, um… dental roleplay?<br />
Disclaimer: I don’t know these people; this is complete fiction. All lyrics and quotes from Little Shop of Horrors are courtesy of Howard Ashman<br />
Summary: High school drama club AU. Karl just rolled his eyes. “Look, Zach’s my best friend, but he needs to learn how to deal with not getting the lead for once.”<br />
A/N: Written for [info]trekrpfexchange Secret Santa for [info]withthepilot. Reposted here with some very minor edits.

Author: Reezoo<br />
Pairing: Platonic Pinto and Shatnoy<br />
Rating: PG-13 (because Chris uses gratuitous F-bombs IRL, silly boy)<br />
Word Count: 5,263<br />
Summary: Bill is finally ready to break bread with Chris. But when Chris starts to panic, can Zach and Leonard calm him down and prevent the day from winding up a total disaster? Peace between the two captains lies in the balance.<br />
Notes: Written for the wonderful rainbowstrlght; I meant this to be a birthday present but it wound up a New Year's present instead, because I am lazy. Inspired by the epic Shatner interview in the NYT and a late night chat idea that would not go away. It takes place in some magical land of make believe, where Zach and Chris managed to both be in California at the same time after Inishmore wrapped. Thanks to vector_nyu as always for reading this over and encouraging me, and for rainbowstrlght for loving it so much, and fixing my typos and helping me craft a summary. <3 you guys! My first ever Pinto.

kirk/spock as requested by ~Zukofangirl16, drabble/art

Title: The Haunting
Pairing: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Summary: From a prompt at [info]trek_rpf_kink - "One guy inherits/buys a creepy old house. He finds out it's haunted by the ghost of another guy. He died before losing his virginity. Now it's up to character one to rock his world so he can move on to the afterlife." I thought that sounded oddly sweet, in a kinky kind of way.
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 5825
Disclaimer: irredeemably fictitious
Warnings: character death (um, duh), angst, rimming, bareback, mild painplay, abuse of a banana, OC's, literary references, voyeurism (kinda)
A/N: This is me taking a short break from my bigfic and writing something short and refreshing for Halloween. Written very quickly. Enjoy the horrible shooping! And also the fic.

Title: Training Wheels (1/5)
Author: [info]the_deep_magic
Pairing: Pinto
Rating: PG-13 (this part, eventual NC-17)
Word Count: 5,622
Warnings: AU, angst, h/c, nonexplicit discussion of past sexual abuse
Disclaimer: nothing pertaining to Chris or Zach is true, but the therapy described is real
Summary: surrogate (n): one appointed to act in place of another; a substitute
A/N: Prompted many moons ago at [info]phenylic's (formerly [info]caughttheact's) Pinto meme. This is a work in progress, but I hope to post at least once a week.

Title: Happy Beyond Birthdays
Author: [info]therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6,900
Description: Chris Pine’s totally awesome 30th birthday.
Disclaimer: This is not a true story. While I hope that Chris really did have a birthday this awesome, I have no idea, because I don’t know him or anyone else involved.
A/N: Responding to the call for some “classic Pinto” - here is some non-AU, present-day, profanity-laced, old-school banter-y first-time Pinto! Angst-free, because it’s his fucking birthday! Enjoy!

Title: A Moment of Zen
Author: [info]therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,430
Description: Zach and Chris have a moment in a Zen garden.
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY [info]gryffin_draco! THIS IS FOR YOU! MAY YOU HAVE A PINTO-LICIOUS DAY, TODAY AND EVERY DAY!

Title: Stars in Our Eyes
Pairing: Zach/Chris
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: ingestion of bodily fluids (aka come, obvs), rimming, some mentions of biting, ridiculousness, dirty talk, unprotected sex.
Summary: Chris takes ecstasy for the first time with Zach. Silliness and first-time smut ensues. (top!zach)
Disclaimer: this is fiction. based on events in my own life. the boys, to my knowledge, have done none of these things.

Scotty's Drunk - Chekov's a Punk and Kirk Gets Laid Again

Title: Enough
Author: Margie
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Pine/Quinto
Spoilers: None
*Warnings*: RPS
Word Count: 3,080

Summary: Chris helps Zach get over a bad breakup.

<p>It takes a war with the Tholians for Kirk and Spock to start talking truthfully with each other.&nbsp;</p>

Title: Wherein Kirk Swears that the ‘T’ Doesn’t Stand for Thickheaded
Author: J.D. aka [info]jade_dragoness
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: K/S
Spoilers: this is based on Star Trek XI
Summary: Based on the prompt: Spock/Kirk, Spock enters Pon Farr while trapped somewhere with Kirk. Kirk is clueless. From the [info]st_xi_kink Meme Part 1, originally posted here.
Word Count: 8,555
Disclaimer: Never ever will be mine. *sadness*
A/N: So, this story is just a thinly veiled excuse for porn. Lots of it, because this fic mutated on me and went from a planned 2,000 words to its much higher count. *helpless hands* Umm, also any kind of plot is strictly accidental and I have no idea how it got there. Feedback is hugely welcomed. And feel free to point out any errors I missed.

Title: St. Patrick's Day
Author: [info]htebazytook
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: <--
Pairing: Zach/Chris
Author's Notes: Cast party + spin the bottle = surprise Pinto.

Title: Any Way You Want Me
Pairing: Shatnoy
Rating: This part, maybe PG-13
Notes: Okay. So, I've been meaning to write a 50s AU for absolutely ever. I started this, and then decided I really wasn't sure about it, and after playing with it for weeks, I think I need to post it and see whether anyone actually would be interested in reading more, before I struggle on into more complex territory. THIS IS A WIP. Title from the Elvis song, which I listened to too many times while writing this.
Warnings: God, where do I start? Cliche. Excessive use of period slang. First person voice with Holden Caulfield syndrome. Obsession with fast cars. General ridiculousness.
Summary: America in the 50s: the best of times, the worst of times. Add Bill, Len, De, a car and a secret. De wants to know what's going on.
Disclaimer: Obviously never happened!

Title: Tongue-in-Cheek
Author: [info]the_deep_magic
Pairing: Pinto
Word Count: 2,718
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Promises: rimming, fingering
Disclaimer: Filthy lies
Summary: “This isn’t working – it’s not gonna fit,” Chris groans, burying his face in the pillow.
A/N: For this prompt at [info]trek_rpf_kink. Just porn and snark, really. Sorry about the title, but I was assured no bricks would be thrown at my head.

Title: Three Dozen Daisies
Beta: [info]rainbowstrlght ;whose hilarious commentary I wish I could have inserted with this fic.
Series: AU Pinto
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~2,150
Warnings: Um... excessive fluff?
Summary: The AU where Chris is a florist and Zach celebrates every holiday in existence, so he can come and buy flowers from him.
A/N: Thank you, you two ridiculously hot florists who I saw in town recently. You radiated manliness and sex appeal, even as you played with flowers.

Title: The Word Withheld Author: J S Cavalcante Codes: K/S Rating: NC-17 Summary: After retrieving Kirk from the interspatial rift of "The Tholian Web," Spock realizes his oath to Starfleet and his service aboard the Enterprise are in jeopardy because he has denied to himself--and withheld from Kirk--a certain truth about the nature of the Vulcan relationship called "t'hy'la."

Title: New York State of Mind
Author: [info]jenlynn820
Pairing: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: I don’t know Zach or Chris and I make no profit from this work.
Summary: Chris visits Zach in NYC.
Beta: [info]eruberueth
Note: This story is based on actual events. In certain cases, incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. No actors were harmed in the writing of this fanfic. Title from the Billy Joel song of the same name. Snippet from Shakespeare Sonnet 116 included.
Word Count: 4,034

"Defying Fate", junction, PG-13

"Lovely", PG-13

Title: Love in a Minor Key
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: PG
Summary: There's no slowing-down of time, no fanfare or blinding realisation. His breath doesn't catch or his knees go weak, and he doesn't suddenly feel like everything has changed.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit.
A/N: Huge thanks to [info]canadian_jay for the beta, who isn't in this fandom but still agreed to kick this into shape (it probably had something to do with my pleaing puppy eays XD)

Title: Domestic Nonsense Part Two
Artist: [info]lama_mama
Series: STXI
Rating: G. So so very G, I am vaguely ashamed.
Warnings: None. More modern-day AU that makes no sense!

Title: Tick, Tick
Author: [info]therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,100
Description: Chris discovers Zach’s biological clock.
Warning: Sweet established fluff, babies
Disclaimer: So very, very far from reality.

Best of Both 1/2

Title: Jiggle
Author: [info]the_deep_magic
Pairing: Pinto
Rating: R
Word Count: 800
Disclaimer: Sweet, zaftig lies.
Summary: Sometimes an actor must make sacrifices for his art. Sometimes those sacrifices turn Zach the fuck on.
A/N: Holy crap, an actual comment-length comment!fic! For this prompt at [info]trek_rpf_kink.

Title: Tab A + Slot B
Author: [info]the_deep_magic
Pairing: Pinto
Word Count: 3,740
Rating: NC-17
Warning: toys, explicit wanking, exhibitionism/voyeurism
Disclaimer: Don’t know ‘em, didn’t happen.
Summary: It’s the gift that keeps on giving…
A/N: For a prompt at [info]trek_rpf_kink asking for Zach buying Chris an Aneros. If you're curious, this wiki was extremely… instructive.

Fic: Triple Word Porn
Title: Triple Word Porn
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Word count: 1,137
Notes: Just a silly little cracky thing, inspired by a particularly dreadful moment during an online Scrabble game today when I realized I could make "frotting" but that it's not considered a real word! And I was OFFENDED because frotting is basically my LIFE. And I thought one of our word-loving boys might feel the same way. Also includes some glasses!porn and italics abuse.
Summary: Chris never usually got this upset about invalid Scrabble words.

Title: Where No One Had Slashed Before
Characters: Kirk/Spock
Author: Killa
Spoilers: Lots. The series, the movies, etc.
Website: Adventures in Melodrama

Title: A bad idea
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Theme: Surfing (w/ the words wax and ice -- though I used waxy instead, don't kill me)
Rating: NC17
Summary: there are just no words
Feedback: I'm dying to know what you think, because I have no fucking clue
Notes: See end of story.

Title: Bad Poetry
Author: [info]jenlynn820
Pairing: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: I don’t know Zach or Chris and I make no profit from this work.
Summary: Chris visits Zach in NYC.
Beta: [info]eruberueth
Note: Title from the song Bad Poetry by Ben Lee
Word Count: 2945

Title: Five Times Spock found Jim with a Woman on Shore Leave, and One Time Jim was with Spock the Whole Time
Author: [info]thehauntedpiano
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Pairing: Spock/Kirk ( + a little bit of Kirk/others, minor Leonard/Nyota, past Spock/Uhura)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Jim’s acts of remembrance were extremely important to him, and he was quite skilled in grieving rituals. This fact was in and of itself tragic.” Jim and Spock share their grief and eventually their love.
Warning: Sex, including one incident of heterosexual alien sex therapy! (I know, wtf?) , voyeurism (but not really as a kink), angst, h/c, language, assumes Gaila is dead :(

Title: Another Country Beckons

Codes: K/S; TOS: PG; New

Author: Rae Trail

Feedback: raetrail@yahoo.ca

History: Originally published in Side By Side, an Online Zine published by Kira Nerys: www.kardasi.com

Summary: A starship captain discovers that his subconscious mind has been busily courting while his conscious mind runs his ship.

Disclaimer: Paramount and Viacom, and probably other entities, own all things Star Trek. I consider this fair use; this is fan fiction, and no money will be made from it.

Warnings: Unqualified acceptance of sexual relationships between men.

Notes: Various excerpts from "The Waste Land" by T.S. Elliot.

Far from the Madding Crowd
Pairing: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Rating: NC-17 (sexually explicit situations)
Length: 2,744 words
Summary: Every day, they bleed a little further over the line they've drawn for themselves. So they draw another and another until it feels like they're trying to hold onto a whole river with just their fingers.
A/N: A little something, something for [info]lastling, in honour of her birthday and to thank her for making my corner of fandom a better place to be.

Title: The Kirk
Fandom: STXI
Pairing: K/S
Rating: PG for mentions of sex and bad punning
Word Count: ~1300
Summary: In which Kirk is surprised, and Spock learns his lessons well. For this awesome prompt on the kink meme: Kirk's sexual prowess is legendary, right? So really, it was only a matter of time before sombody started marketing it. While on shoreleave, Jim discovers the best selling dildo to ever hit this quadrent of the galaxy; "The Kirk". That's right ladies and gentlbeings, you too can now have your very own Captain-Kirk-Cock. The idea of 'human skills' lessons was inspired by [info]captanddeastar, whose So Wise We Grow is one the most wonderful things in the XI fandom.
Disclaimer: Not mine.

SS: No Problem
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Rating: R, for language
Summary: An AU conversation, in several takes.
Notes: I don't know whether or not anyone here is familiar with David Ives or his work, but this is a nod to his fantastic play Sure Thing, which is fantastic.
Wordcount: 1000+
Disclaimer: I'm not as awesome as Ives, nor do I have any knowledge that this has actually happened between Chris and Zach. This is purely fictional and not meant to offend.