There were many things Cougar would have liked to unsee, but the world didn't work like that.

The Losers (film), Cougar/Jensen.
A/N: PORN. porn porn porn. Written for the commentfic meme, for the prompt "Cougar may not talk in front of the others, but when it's just the two of them, his mouth is *filthy*."

In 2009, Jensen got a new team, fell stupid in love, and learned about sharks, the great organizing principle of the universe and crushing chest injuries. Not necessarily in that order. [6143]

Jensen has a knack for adapting his orders in ways that get interesting results.

Jensen gets commissioned to steal a hard drive. It goes downhill from there. In which: there are daring escapes, Cougar is thrown out of dangerous places twice, cat burglars should never be uncuffed and Jensen meets the good guys. Sort of.

Correspondence between siblings.

Jake Jensen has the weirdest fucking skill set Clay's ever seen.

Something always goes wrong. It's all a question of what you salvage from it - and that, you can't always predict.

Or, in which Jensen fixes everything, mostly by accident.

Once you go into the woods, you don’t come back out again; or, how Franklin Clay got himself a pack.

Clay gets more than he bargained for.

Lucille Porteous learns to drive when she's five — her daddy sits her on his lap, puts her tiny hands on the steering wheel, and shows her how to steer and signal while he pushes on the pedals according to her demands. [female!pooch AU]

Cats, man. Not to be trusted.