Bruce Wayne can't possibly be as dumb as he acts, and Clark Kent isn't as ordinary as he appears.

A loan officer in Gotham is trying to save the city one rejected loan application at a time.

“Comedy clubs, joke shops, novelty stores. You’ve turned down every single application for businesses of this kind. You even turned down a proposal from one of the country’s most reputable clown training schools.” He sounded completely mystified.

In retrospect, Bruce should have gotten suspicious when he caught Dick measuring the closets in the empty bedrooms, but at the time the sun had been threatening to explode—for the third time that MONTH—and he'd had bigger concerns.

There are fish people crawling out of the Rio Grande.

Stephanie Brown celebrates finishing her exams in style: teaming up with the newest Blue Beetle, punching labyrinths and capping it off with delicious waffles.

Now Steph's mom knows she's Batgirl, this isn't really the kind of problem she expected it to cause, and when Damian gets involved, matters get completely out of hand.

Beetle beyond.

An AU ending of TDK results in Barbara Gordon's death. James Gordon is left to deal with the fallout, raising two kids on his own, and dealing with his new job. But he might have an unexpected ally in Bruce Wayne, however the billionaire's sudden entrance in his life continues to baffle him.

When Batman told Green Lantern he'd never met Superman before, he meant Batman hadn't. Bruce Wayne, on the other hand...

Jim Gordon is trapped with the most useless cell companion of all time: playboy Bruce Wayne.

Fake F_W posts FTW

Cordelia's been in the game long enough that she can spot a secret identity from a mile away.

Future fic: Lex gets everything he ever wanted, not that he'd ever admit he wanted what he gets.

Gotham Central war stories.

Her garbage was interesting. Extremely interesting. That was the first thing that he noticed about Huntress. Long before he met her. Not Batman interesting, who kept an incinerator in his room and was therefore was an eternal paranoid enigma. Or Wonder Woman interesting in that her trashcan was a Greek urn of unknown manufacture circa 405 BC. Superman’s garbage was somewhat comfortingly boring. But the Huntress, no, her garbage was extremely interesting. In that way, Huntress was interesting. The sort of person who was made up of thirty-two and not thirty-one flavors.

Pammy's lipstick tasted funny, though the injections she made for Harley kept it from being hallucinogenic. Like Harley needed to be drugged into kissing Pammy back whenever she got the chance, anyway.

Basically, I took a few of my kinks (teacher!Guy, Guy fighting, biting) and nerdish tendencies (Trek, and a Simpsons's quote if you can find it) and wrote this. You're welcome.

The following is a transcript of an episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart that never existed and will never exist.

The residents of the Blüdhaven retirement home didn't care that their rescuer came from an age of myth; they were just glad she was able to reach the fourth floor where the firemen could not. But when she flew through the smoke with Mrs. Kelly in her arms, the cameras were waiting. With the dramatic arrival of Diana, who some are calling "Wonder Woman," the island of Themyscira rejoined the modern world. Talks between the Amazon Nation and Washington in the last week have been kept quiet, but a source close to the White House suggests a surprising announcement may be forthcoming--
[Bruce/Diana]

The day Selina Kyle starts to officially go insane, she decides she's going to at least do it in style.

An impromptu vacation goes awry when one of Ted's science experiments gets a little...broken.
Warning: Sex pollen.

hogun of Steel is an Elseworld story which places the JLA into feudal Japan. In this world, Clark is named Hoshi (Star), a strange man with otherworldly powers. He's recruited to battle the evil warlord Zunou ("Brain" in Japanese) by a Japanese woman named Hana (Flower), who goes by Komori (the Bat).

It seemed somehow unfair that an alien and a man of science had to deal with sorcery, of all things

: John Sheppard didn't know he was part of an ATA-gene cloning project until it was much, much too late. Neal and Zane have a serious case of sibling rivalry, Ianto and Tim don't like the uniforms, and Gwen isn't sure she wants to be leader after all.

Guy gets off on fighting. Kyle gets off on Guy getting off on fighting.

Written for the [info]comment_fic Vacation prompt: DC, Kyle/Guy, arguing over where to go. Somehow, this is a first time fic.

When Jaime Reyes is kidnapped by a powerful force, his friends and family must band together to save him. La Dama is not sure where she fits into all of this, but she's not letting Brenda go into danger without her again.

And then Hardison clicks to the next slide. "Of course, now the company had been bought by the Wayne Enterprises," he says slowly and pointedly, and all the others suddenly sit up, the focus of their attention shifting and narrowing.

"No," Sophie says. Eliot nods once, sharply, and Parker does a rather good impression of one of those boggling-head-dolls, agreeing completely.

They've never spoken about it, but there's something there.

It's Guy's first full night of sleep after the events of "Blackest Night."

Kara is wounded and Steph is having a hard time dealing.

Kyle has a thing for Guy's hands.

Where life is like a soap opera.

Far from home at a charity function, David Xanatos has a very important conference call he can't afford to miss.

"Guy's blindfolded, gagged, and tied down. He's fairly sure he knows it's Kyle in the room." Also, ring play, sort of.

Guy is completely shameless. Kyle has always known this, but he's only really become aware of the benefits of that particular personality trait since he and Guy started sleeping together.

Guy takes Kyle the the best brothel in the universe. But then Kyle accidentally presses Guy's crazy-button, and things take a turn for the weird. If Kyle hadn't been so oblivious all along, he might not be so surprised...

Guy checks out Kyle's sketchbook.

It can't all be explosions; sometimes they do run the bar.

Pairing: Guy/Kyle
Rating: R [mostly language, some semi-vague sex]
Summary: Life on Oa is usually of the exploding variety, but it's got to be quiet occasionally. And in those occasions, you can almost miss some things.

Kyle knows that they could go back to drinking, that they could laugh at this tomorrow, and well-- courage in a bottle, right?

Guy and Kyle in truth collars.

When you have a power ring, there's no point in having a cell phone, even if you don't live on a planet where most people don't even know what a cell phone is. Somehow, this doesn't stop Guy from sending Kyle dirty text messages.

When Batman becomes the target of a pair of vampire hunters, Superman must save his friend from a fate worse than undeath.

"Neal is Kryptonian" fic snippet

After the return of Superman, he and Gotham's new vigilante get to know one another. Written as if I lived in the moviefusion-verse and were writing superhero RPF. Because I so would.

Characters/Pairing: Mostly just Guy, but bit parts for half the people Guy knows: Buck Wargo and the Monster Hunters, Lady Blackhawk, Power Girl, Kyle, etc.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1, 566
Prompt: Writer's Choice: Cat (TX; P79)
Continuity: Shortly after the end of Guy Gardner: Warrior, up through present-day.
Summary: As the title promises, Guy Gardner gets a cat. Warrior's will never be the same.

There are over two hundred words in the Thanagarian language for "enemy." Fifty for "coworker." Twenty-nine for "friend." Twelve for "lover."

Sometimes the hardest problem Shayera has in her day to day life with the League is the recontextualization of language. She must learn to relearn to speak. She must watch eyes and arms and hands (though not the position of the wings, a primary indicator of intent in Thanagarian Low Speech) to determine which enemy, what kind of coworker.

“Let me guess,” says the escaped Cirque du Soleil performer, arms crossed in a fairly good imitation of Peter, disapproving pose no. 8., “Someone told you about Gotham but you decided it was an exaggeration.”

Prompt: Any Superman verse: Clark/Lois/this video. Clark is more alien than he appears on the surface.
Summary: Most of all, Clark loved Lois for not running.

Characters: Trickster I (James Jesse), Blue Beetle II (Ted Kord).
Warnings: Spoilers. Character death.
Notes: The DCU is for fix-it fic. Will eventually have a companion piece from Ted's POV.
Summary: When you're the Trickster, that means you can always think of a way out.

Tricksters Choice/DCU fusion. "The role of long-lost heir to the throne and incidentally direct representative of a god will be played by James Jesse. Who gets to fly, so should stop complaining about all the work involved."

Static and Gear get a visit from Teen Titan's Robin and Superboy. When Superman and Batman go missing and the Teen Titans and the Justice League enter an all out battle. It's up to our heroes to save the day!

Takes place in the DC Animated Universe with a couple of additions. Not AU.

When Dick Grayson asks Clark Kent for help, Clark finds his teammate and friend Bruce Wayne oddly changed.

Some of the newly-formed League explores their new headquarters and discovers a pair of trespassers.

On a former Kryptonian colony, Clark and Bruce encounter an incarnation of Cythonna, the ancient Kryptonian goddess of ice, and must stop her from plunging the world back into endless winter.

Clark and Bruce vacation on a pleasure planet under a red sun.
Warnings: Consensual BDSM

Batman is turned into a cat. The results are not quite as fearsome as he might have hoped).

Summary: A Gothamite remembers a night when a ghost story came a little too true.

"You people. You're the only team in the universe that could possibly run into a superstitious culture with a volcano and a virginometer. These things never happen to sane superhero teams." [Batman/Superman, with bonus JLI]

"Circuit" is a short series of stories in which Clark and Lois find themselves in a three-way soul-bond with Bruce Wayne.

A small series about the fact that Clark seems to get mind-controlled all the time, which started off funny and ended up porny. :) [starts with 5 Times Superman was Mind-Controlled and DIDN'T Try to Kill Batman ]

Reporter Clark Kent is locked in a cell with the Dark Knight. When sex pollen is thrown into the equation, the game gets more complicated.

"The Music of the Spheres" is a series set in the combined universes of "Batman Begins" and "Superman Returns." It posits a situation where Superman and Batman are the only costumed heroes in the world, meeting for the first time.

Characters/Pairings: Superman/Batman, Red Arrow, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Black Canary
Rating: PG-13
Summary: His first day on the Justice League, Roy Harper notices Batman has some peculiar note-taking habits. Investigations follow.
Word count: 1100
Continuity: Takes place right after OYL, when the Justice League reforms.

A mini-series in which Krypton never exploded and Kal-El finds himself in an arranged marriage with Bruce Wayne.

History repeats itself in surprising ways, sometimes.

Lost a bet with [info]fleur_de_liz. Roboporns. Sexy sequel-thing to Murky Depths.

"Present day" fic showing the reintroduction of Max and L-Ron, and the beginnings of their Epic Robot Love.

(AKA "Mullet-verse Trifecta," AKA "Back to the Boostle")
Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.

(AKA "the crazy!Junior story")
Future fic of how Junior got the certificate officially declaring him as SANE! Minimal Boostle, and more of an off-shoot of the series than an integral part. Background to some of the events mentioned in Little Boy Blue.

(AKA "Mullet-verse Redux," AKA "I Was A Teenaged Boostle")
Because the exclusion of Beetle and Booster from the Sins of Youth storyline was a crime unto writing. Featuring that cliche among all fiction mediums: amnesia! Guest starring the Teen Titans.

Blue/Gold, and Suu Dibn (Blue Beetle/Booster Gold, and Sue Dibny One Mi

Okay, so gargoyles. Which is weird. But after a quick review, Ted decides that being transported to a parallel universe that contains gargoyles isn't the weirdest thing that's ever happened to him, so he just goes with it.

I already had the idea, but I was inspired by this line: '"experienced" at Stargate Command meant, "survived longer than eight months"'
This is a crossover/AU thing based on SuperBuddies (mostly, sort of) and set in the Stargate: Atlantis universe.