It's graduation time and that means various notables are giving commencement addresses like nobody's business. Last week, Mitt Romney spoke at Liberty University, which provided Bill Maher with a jumping off point on tonight's Real Time. I know this is gonna shock you, but Maher isn't a big fan of any part of it.

"An it harm none, do as you will. An it cause harm, do as you must."

Atheists and agnostics are more driven by compassion to help others than are highly religious people, a new study finds.

It’s time to apologize to Sinéad O’Connor. Remember her? Ripped up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live before adding, “Fight the real enemy” to protest child sexual abuse in the Catholic Church and the complicity of the church hierarchy? Already a platinum record and a number one single to her name, Sinéad’s career was never the same again.

When Occupy Wall Street and similar protests played out over the past year, the phenomenon looked familiar to Emory University primatologist Frans de Waal: He's seen similar moral outrage over economic inequity expressed by monkeys and chimps. And he thinks we could learn a lesson or two from our fellow primates.

In 1979, McDonald’s introduced the Happy Meal.

Sometime after that, it was decided that the Bible teaches that human life begins at conception.

My two kids at home almost lost their mother because someone decided that my life was worth less than that of a fetus that was going to die anyway. My husband had told them exactly what my regular doctor said, and the ER doctor had already warned us what would have to happen. Yet none of this mattered when confronted by the idea that no one needs an abortion. You shouldn’t need to know the details of why a woman aborts to trust her to make the best decision for herself. I don’t regret my abortion, but I would also never use my situation to suggest that the only time another woman should have the procedure is when her life is at stake. After my family found out I’d had an abortion, I got a phone call from a cousin who felt the need to tell me I was wrong to have interfered with God’s plan. And in that moment I understood exactly what kind of people judge a woman’s reproductive choices.

We challenge the whole concept that you can’t be good without God. We challenge the idea that religion is important in the first place, and that really makes them uncomfortable.

Which is sooo close to being correct. The court actually prohibited mandatory school prayer. And that one word makes all the difference. (See: Twain, Mark on lightning-bug vs. lightning.)

There's nothing better than a wild UFO conspiracy theory — unless it's a UFO theory that wraps in a debunked comet, the Catholic Church, and Star Trek: The Next Generation.
...
So will YOU be ready when Jesus of Borg arrives?

A small Pike County church has voted not to accept interracial couples as members or let them take part in some worship activities.

Poe's Law is an axiom suggesting that it's difficult to distinguish between parodies of religious fundamentalism and its genuine proponents, since they both seem equally insane. For example, some conservatives consider noted homophobe Fred Phelps to be so over-the-top that they argue he's a "deep cover liberal" trying to discredit more mainstream homophobes.

"I have never been more of an atheist," writes the waiter, who will likely do horrible things to that diner's food if they ever dared to return.

Is the United States sliding toward theocracy? That’s what Republican presidential candidates have told us for more than a year. Radical Islam, they’ve argued, is on the verge of taking over our country through Sharia law. But this weekend, at an Iowa forum sparsely covered by the press, the candidates made clear that they don’t mind theocracy—in fact, they’d like to impose it—as long as it’s Christian.

Republicans may be trying to focus their messaging on jobs and the economy — and hammering President Barack Obama for campaigning — but they still have time for some red meat base-baiting on the House floor.

"This devotion to an idea is one of the amazing things about being human, but you're not much good to the rest of us until you're on to your 3rd."

You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

"Standing on the hill at dawn, overseeing a team of 40 Kurdish diggers, the German-born archeologist waves a hand over his discovery here, a revolution in the story of human origins. Schmidt has uncovered a vast and beautiful temple complex, a structure so ancient that it may be the very first thing human beings ever built. The site isn't just old, it redefines old: the temple was built 11,500 years ago—a staggering 7,000 years before the Great Pyramid, and more than 6,000 years before Stonehenge first took shape. The ruins are so early that they predate villages, pottery, domesticated animals, and even agriculture—the first embers of civilization. In fact, Schmidt thinks the temple itself, built after the end of the last Ice Age by hunter-gatherers, became that ember—the spark that launched mankind toward farming, urban life, and all that followed."

Gee, ya think? "God may have created man in his image, but it seems we return the favour. Believers subconsciously endow God with their own beliefs on controversial issues.

"Intuiting God's beliefs on important issues may not produce an independent guide, but may instead serve as an echo chamber to validate and justify one's own beliefs," writes a team led by Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences."

"Tuten will explain how these digestively related tales date back before medieval times and talk of how monastic authors used these undignified deaths to connect sin, divine vengeance, greed and bowel afflictions as examples of the gruesome fate awaiting sinners and the perceived enemies of the monastery."

Silicon Valley has fewer tech jobs --but they're getting paid more It's a joke that 6 figures is a living wage

"billions of humans disagree about the nature of God. But everyone knows what the moonwalk is." (Via @sfkateginsberg - )

"During the the hours of 10:00 A.M. to 2:00 P.M. the Atheist Agenda, a student organization of The University of Texas at San Antonio, had a table on campus with the purpose of exchanging religious scripture for pornography."

"Free articles and resources by best-selling author and TV co-host Ray Comfort that will help you to pull the plug on the rising tide of atheism."

"We hear so much these days about how traditional religious family values are necessary for raising moral children who can grow into accomplished adults,” said American Humanist Association Executive Director Roy Speckhardt, father of two. “But we humanists have known for a long, long time that ethical humanist values build character. The number of moral and accomplished humanists is legion. We’ve been honoring the greatest of them every year since 1953 at our annual conferences. Now Barack Obama has given us the opportunity to share this truth with those from around the country who come to our nation’s capital to share in the inauguration experience."

Notable if only for the fact that Comic Sans is used whenever the Pope is quoted. "Yeah, the Pope babbles dicta against people who are different from him, so what else is new?"

"This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: It has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus. Those who despise science and learning are not anti-elitist. They are morally and intellectually slothful people who are secretly envious of the educated and the cultured. And those who prate of spiritual warfare and demons are not just "people of faith" but theocratic bullies. On Nov. 4, anyone who cares for the Constitution has a clear duty to repudiate this wickedness and stupidity."

"Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in American politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary talent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose thoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want someone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in fact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn't seem too intelligent or well educated."

"A federal judge says the University of California can deny course credit to applicants from Christian high schools whose textbooks declare the Bible infallible and reject evolution. ... Rejecting claims of religious discrimination and stifling of free expression, U.S. District Judge James Otero of Los Angeles said UC's review committees cited legitimate reasons for rejecting the texts - not because they contained religious viewpoints, but because they omitted important topics in science and history and failed to teach critical thinking."

"Christianity is like sticking a fork in your face and your rectum and plugging them into a wall socket. Your insides will smoke and sizzle, you'll glow, sparks will shoot out of you, and you'll become a cooked vegetable."

"By the way, I didn't want to single out just the cracker, so I nailed it to a few ripped-out pages from the Qur'an and The God Delusion. They are just paper. Nothing must be held sacred. Question everything. God is not great, Jesus is not your lord, you are not disciples of any charismatic prophet. You are all human beings who must make your way through your life by thinking and learning, and you have the job of advancing humanity's knowledge by winnowing out the errors of past generations and finding deeper understanding of reality. You will not find wisdom in rituals and sacraments and dogma, which build only self-satisfied ignorance, but you can find truth by looking at your world with fresh eyes and a questioning mind."

"On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately."

"The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change

"however the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the big bang"

"There are already plenty of good FAQ’s about atheism out there, but I don’t think one more could do any damage"

"IN THE MATTER OF THE ADOPTION OF "E", A CHILD, BY JOHN P. BURKE AND CYNTHIA D. BURKE, PLAINTIFFS-APPELLANTS "

"If they fail in their appeal, Eleanor Katherine may have to leave the only family she has ever known and await adoption by another couple whose religious convictions satisfy the State of New Jersey."

"The point is this: there has never -- never ever ever -- been a single thing that has been taken out of the science basket and put back in the god basket. Not one. Ever."

"The Westboro Baptist Church (that “God Hates Fags” crew from the heart of Jesusland USA) presents their cover “We Are the World,” rewritten and retitled as “God Hates the World.”"

"Shrill Bible-thumpers boycott 'The Golden Compass'; world's children grin devilishly"

I'll never understand why so many religious people are so scared by the existence of and being exposed to information contrary to their beliefs.

"A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the LORD."

"I suggest that if you recognize and acknowledge that purpose in life can only be derived from an imaginary friend, by whatever name you call him, then I’m afraid you do not grasp what “reality” is."

"This has been a hard piece to write, and it may be a hard one to read. I'm not going to be as polite and good-tempered as I usually am in this blog; this piece is about anger, and for once I'm going to fucking well let myself be angry."

"The founders were not anti-religion. ... But they wanted faith to be one thread in the country’s tapestry, not the whole tapestry."

"Because LOLcats plus Jesus Equals High-larity! "

"The Holy Ghost was so fucking cool. It made the adults look like idiots!"

"Clearly, I saw now that belief in God, no matter how grounded, requires at some point a leap of faith. Either you have the gift of faith or you don't." I guess 'gift' is one way to describe it.

"The empty life of this ugly little charlatan proves only one thing: that you can get away with the most extraordinary offenses to morality and to truth in this country if you will just get yourself called Reverend."

"Private, quiet faith is one thing. But when the guy holding the launch codes believes the end of the world could come any day and that's a good thing, those who believe lives are limited to one per customer have a problem."

"I am an atheist and a professor at Virginia Tech. Dinesh D’Souza says that I don’t exist, that I have nothing to say, that I am nowhere to be found."

"The atheist may find himself in hell for his disbelief, but at least he is not a traitor. Until God accepts that religion is His responsibility and can provide some real proof and guidance as to His plan, He is completely unworthy of our worship."

"last time i checked, presents weren't a reward for believing in god."

"I've had to come to grips with a God that fits my own experience, which is, my God could not be offering protection and not have protected my boy."

"The problem isn’t religion, Wilson said, it’s tribalism. The two often coincide but they are not the same thing. Religion is not a pernicious force in the world. Tribalism is."

"It is a movement built on the growing personal and economic despair of tens of millions of Americans, who watched helplessly as their communities were plunged into poverty by the flight of manufacturing jobs, their families and neighborhoods torn apart b

"While she was behind bars, according to the college student's attorney, a jail worker refused to give her a second dose of the morning-after contraceptive pill because of the worker's religious convictions."

"You have to seel everything you own to inherit eternal life!" "Seriously, I thought that was metaphorical."

"Their intent was to encourage atheists to come forward and put their souls on the line, showing others that you don't have to be afraid of God."

"Mrs Bishop, who is co-pastor at a 4,000-congregation Ohio church, also claims that prayer cured her of breast cancer."

"I deny the Holy Spirit."

"Shortcuts are cheating, damnit."

"If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property."

"“Intelligent Design versus Evolution” is a new board game that was designed by actor Kirk Cameron and best-selling author Ray Comfort, to help fight against the what they maintain is the brainwashing of an entire generation."

"It's hard to believe, but there is more information on the absurd board game designed by Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort."

"I think that in an election cycle or two you will see an atheist business leader emerge as a legitimate candidate for president. And his name will be Bill Gates."

Is there a word in German for that squicked out feeling I get when I see an awkward Christian repurposing of something from pop culture?

"More than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, according to a new study. The high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past."

"So, understanding full well that the phrase retains zero religious significance, I unhesitatingly wish everyone a Merry Christmas."

"A group of Pagans in Albemarle County, Va., was recently given permission to advertise their multi-cultural holiday program to public school children – and they have the Rev. Jerry Falwell to thank for it."

"By criticizing itself, apologizing and offering concessions — all things the Islamic world has yet to do — the West reaffirms that Islam has a privileged status in the world. "