A Clear And Self-Centered Danger » Funny & Stupid Customer Stories – Not Always Right
6 hours ago by cwinters
'Customer’s Wife: “Because the world STILL doesn’t revolve around you, dear.” *to me* “His mother has a lot to answer for!”'
fun
6 hours ago by cwinters
An Introduction to Objectivist-C | fdiv.net
10 days ago by cwinters
"In Objectivist-C, each program is free to acquire as many resources as it can, without interference from the operating system."
fun
objectivism
10 days ago by cwinters
5 Actors Who Thought They Were Novelists (And Were Very, Very Wrong)
10 days ago by cwinters
of Marlon Brando, “Fan-Tan”: 'Goodreads review: “I figured, ‘Hey, at least there will be pirates (check), booty (both kinds) and maybe a little fun.’ But I never expected the main character to piss all over a guy’s face for fun (page 54), the ridiculous pidgin English spoken by minorities ... or a totally gratuitous Cleveland Steamer (page 226)..."'
fun
badwriting
10 days ago by cwinters
Dovahkiin’s Day Off » Funny & Stupid Customer Stories – Not Always Right
13 days ago by cwinters
I don't know anything about Skyrim, but:
[Retailer]: “Sir, what did you yell to him before grabbing him?”
Tall Man: “Promise you won’t laugh?”
[Retailer]: “Okay.”
Tall Man: “FUS RO DAH!”
fun
games
[Retailer]: “Sir, what did you yell to him before grabbing him?”
Tall Man: “Promise you won’t laugh?”
[Retailer]: “Okay.”
Tall Man: “FUS RO DAH!”
13 days ago by cwinters
Suck: Daily - Distorted Presumptions
14 days ago by cwinters
"That chick in the ass pants by the onion dip is the finest thing I've seen since Tibet."
fun
nostalgia
14 days ago by cwinters
Chrysler Halts Production Of Neckbelts | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
5 weeks ago by cwinters
"Another negative side effect of the neckbelts is the psychological damage that may be suffered by eyewitnesses upon observing a convulsing, headless human body spontaneously jettison fountains of blood as the adrenaline-maximized heart furiously pumps quart after quart from the neck wound, coating the car interior, the Chrysler statement continued....Neckbelt wearers are warned that a severed human head may remain alive for up to two minutes before blood loss, oxygen starvation and shock trauma cause it to lose consciousness."
fun
5 weeks ago by cwinters
Bob the Angry Flower - Abhorrent Suggestion
6 weeks ago by cwinters
"Yep, it looks pretty inexorable. Have you considered banging their wives?"
fun
6 weeks ago by cwinters
PHP: a fractal of bad design - fuzzy notepad
6 weeks ago by cwinters
goto doc for when I need to remember why PHP is terrible
hate
php
fun
6 weeks ago by cwinters
The Disgusting Reality Of Microwave Dinners
9 weeks ago by cwinters
ah, memories of dinner in the 70s: "Here's a close-up of the brownie included...it has pieces of corn stuck in it."
food
fun
9 weeks ago by cwinters
What’s in a Name? | The Intercom Blog
9 weeks ago by cwinters
"Is it a condom or is it an Android?"
fun
9 weeks ago by cwinters
Who should pay for roads, transit projects? - The Transportationist.org
9 weeks ago by cwinters
classic: '''Even people who don’t drive still benefit from things like fire protection, ambulance services, and mail delivery — all of which depend on roads. “I suppose you could be Ted Kaczynski, but even he had to use the U.S. Postal Service to mail his bombs.”'''
transportation
fun
9 weeks ago by cwinters
Programmer Ryan Gosling
12 weeks ago by cwinters
"Hey girl, When I wake up, you are the default selection in my bootloader menu"
fun
nerdalert
12 weeks ago by cwinters
Achievement Unlocked! — Evil Routers
february 2012 by cwinters
sysadmin achievements: "Areola Bold: Find a secret porn collection in the fonts folder"
fun
sysadmin
february 2012 by cwinters
Gotta Love Sendak « Strangely Something: Exploring Creativity
january 2012 by cwinters
"I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, ‘Dear Jim: I loved your card.’...Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, ‘Jim loved your card so much he ate it.’"
fun
writing
kids
january 2012 by cwinters
What You Missed While Not Watching the Weekend’s New Hampshire Republican Debates | Swampland | TIME.com
january 2012 by cwinters
"This gives Romney another chance to repeat his stump speech about how he is good, the private sector is good, and Obama is bad. Debate prep must have been simple for Romney. Think Pavlov’s dog. Whatever they say, you just repeat your stump speech. Bell rings, stump speech. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Stump speech."
fun
politics
january 2012 by cwinters
A Rough Guide to Disney World - NYTimes.com
december 2011 by cwinters
this has a surprising number of laugh out loud moments, as well as a few choice observations; "M. J. often springs trips and appointments on me, in some cases literally overnight, knowing that if she removes the time factor, I won’t be able to generate bogus neurotic back-out plans. Many of the best vacation memories of my life I owe to these strategies, which prove again a useful principle for all couples: don’t try to change each other. Study and subvert each other."
fun
goodwriting
vacation
disney
marriage
behavior
parenting
kids
december 2011 by cwinters
Confessions: FSDB - The Daily WTF
december 2011 by cwinters
"Back then, I hadn’t even heard the word “database” before, let alone knew how to use one. So, I needed to get clever....Then it hit me: doing a ls with wildcards was basically instantaneous..."
fun
design
programming
december 2011 by cwinters
Directive 595 - The Daily WTF
november 2011 by cwinters
this reminds me of Dolores Umbridge...
fun
hate
database
design
november 2011 by cwinters
What You Missed While Not Watching the GOP National Security Debate | Swampland | TIME.com
november 2011 by cwinters
'Cain still talking about “the mountainous terrain in Iran.” Note to American enemies: If Cain wins the White House, take Switzerland first.'
politics
fun
november 2011 by cwinters
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: The Six Million Dollar Man Writes a Letter to the United States Department of Veterans Affairs.
november 2011 by cwinters
"For several years, these [prosthetics] did allow me to enjoy a better-than-average degree of mobility. Unfortunately, I was coerced into serving in a governmental operation that placed me in hazardous environments on a weekly basis. As the years passed, my electronic prosthetics became obsolete or, in some cases, completely nonfunctional. My eye implant rusted and locked into place, and the vision is only clear for objects at 6,800 feet; anything closer appears blurry."
fun
november 2011 by cwinters
"Bastard Operator From Hell"-Style Excuses
november 2011 by cwinters
one: "The cause of the problem is: The data on your hard drive is out of balance."
fun
november 2011 by cwinters
List: Seven Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation by Eric K. Auld
november 2011 by cwinters
"7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave."
fun
grammar
november 2011 by cwinters
kung fu grippe - How I Roll.
october 2011 by cwinters
This should be my goal, so badass I can swing this without people laughing.
inspiration
goodwriting
fun
october 2011 by cwinters
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Easy Halloween Costume Ideas.
october 2011 by cwinters
"White House Intern: Wear khakis, button-down shirt. Behave as you usually would. They’re not all like her, you know."
fun
october 2011 by cwinters
'Another Show' List
october 2011 by cwinters
(this is one of my sayings, too) 'Alton often says, "but that's another show" indicating that the current subject at hand will be discussed in a future episode (we hope). Well, we're keeping track, Mr. Brown. We're keeping track.'
fun
media
altonbrown
october 2011 by cwinters
6 Adorable Spider Behaviors You Slowly Realize Are AAAAAHHH! | Cracked.com
october 2011 by cwinters
(NOTE: Barb -- you should NOT LOOK AT THIS.) "Of course, if the male spider plays one off-note -- makes one little misstep -- he'll be mistaken for a struggling fly. Then the female, instead of telling him he has a kind soul and then boning him on a stained futon to a Dave Matthews Band song, will charge out and devour him."
nature
spiders
fun
october 2011 by cwinters
What You Missed While Not Watching the GOP’s Dartmouth Debate | Swampland | TIME.com
october 2011 by cwinters
love these summaries: 'Cain responds by saying that his 9-9-9 plan has been “well-studied” and will pass Congress. Neither of these things are true. Then Cain says that his main economic adviser, besides “the American people,” is a guy named Rich Lowrie from Cleveland, Ohio. “He is an economist,” Cain says, which is also not true. Lowrie is trained as an accountant. Then Cain says, “I also have a number of other well-recognized economists that helped me to develop this 9-9-9 plan.” When asked to name the others, Cain says, “Rich Lowrie of Cleveland, Texas.” With that, Cain completes the single worst answer of any candidate in any of the debates so far.'
politics
fun
october 2011 by cwinters
FNX Studios | Top 10 Reasons Why Darth Vader was an Amazing Project Manager
october 2011 by cwinters
"Number 6: Vader managed risk and expectations...pre-emptively. Remember that time when Darth Vader went to Cloud City, bought off the management, then lured Han, Leia, and Chewbacca into a trap? Genius. The amount of planning and forethought that went in to that little exercise must have been epic."
fun
starwars
management
october 2011 by cwinters
The 11 Different Ways Your Girlfriend Will Sigh At You « Thought Catalog
september 2011 by cwinters
"Tip: Do NOT admit to how much time you spent looking at pictures of Anne Hathaway dressed as Catwoman. I can’t stress that enough."
fun
september 2011 by cwinters
A VC: Minimum Viable Personality
september 2011 by cwinters
If nothing else, love the last sketch-cartoon ("No one going to eat this chicken")
marketing
behavior
entrepreneurship
fun
september 2011 by cwinters
New Star Wars BluRay edit.gif - mlkshk
september 2011 by cwinters
Alderan shoots first
fun
starwars
movies
september 2011 by cwinters
What You Missed While Not Watching Last Night’s Reagan Library GOP Debate | Swampland
september 2011 by cwinters
'The oddness continues. Bachmann weighs in with more logic that doesn’t really make sense. “There’s someone else who would join us in that agreement,” she says, about the consensus to reject a 10-to-1 deal. “And that would be Ronald Reagan, because Ronald Reagan made a deal where he took $3 in spending cuts for $1 in tax increases.” Read that a few more times. Be with it.'
politics
fun
september 2011 by cwinters
Lonely Teacher, Outcast Student Begin Somewhat Endearing Sexual Relationship | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
august 2011 by cwinters
"Despite the ethical problems Belmont and Clark's relationship may pose, members of the school community said the clandestine affair is probably the best thing for the both of them."
fun
sex
august 2011 by cwinters
Fundamentalist Macaroni and Cheese | The Awl
august 2011 by cwinters
'Now take the rest of your cheese and spread it over the top in a nice solid layer. "Bread crumbs are great for extra cr-OUCH!" Yes, I just drove a meat fork through your hand. Bread crumbs do not go on top of macaroni and cheese. You know what bread crumbs are good for? Putting inside a meatloaf. A meatloaf is a loaf that contains many other things besides meat. But macaroni and cheese consists of macaroni and cheese.'
fun
goodwriting
cooking
recipe
august 2011 by cwinters
Bill Simmons continues his Summer of Mailbag - Grantland
august 2011 by cwinters
nice summary of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" seasons, but no mention of "Beloved C---"
fun
media
august 2011 by cwinters
Bob the Angry Flower - Downgraded
august 2011 by cwinters
"You're the idiots who put a Triple-A 'Buy' rating on the powerball scratch-n-win!!!"
fun
august 2011 by cwinters
What You Missed While Not Watching the Iowa GOP Debate | Swampland
august 2011 by cwinters
Surprisingly funny (mostly subdued): "48 minutes. Baier asks everyone to raise their hand if they would oppose a debt deal that offered $10 in spending cuts for every $1 in tax increases. Everyone raises their hand, though Pawlenty’s hand bobs up and down a bit. High fives at Obama’s Chicago campaign headquarters."
fun
politics
august 2011 by cwinters
Disabling Funk security - Intermec Community
august 2011 by cwinters
who would ever want to display funk security?!
fun
august 2011 by cwinters
Will Shortz -- Talk to The Times -- The New York Times -- Reader Questions and Answers - NYTimes.com
august 2011 by cwinters
"Margaret Farrar, The Times's first crossword editor (1942-69), followed the philosophy of 'good news only,' not allowing unpleasant and impolite language, and this rule still holds today. As Merl Reagle, crossword constructor extraordinaire, explained in 'Wordplay': 'They're sitting there relaxing ... and here comes RECTAL? I don't think so.'"
games
fun
august 2011 by cwinters
Tattly™ Designy Temporary Tattoos — Welcome
july 2011 by cwinters
not many yet, but a neat idea: "Tattly is a temporary tattoo store for design-minded kids and kids-at-heart. After applying many bad-clip-art tattoos on her daughter, swissmiss decided to stop complaining and take matters into her own hands. Tattly was born. Now, let's rock the tattoo world together. Which one do you like the best?"
fun
july 2011 by cwinters
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: List: What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You.
july 2011 by cwinters
Some favorites: "Kajagoogoo: You have used AquaNet in self-defense...Wham!: You have made nachos while on ecstasy...Tommy Tutone: You have attempted to use a Polaroid picture as an ID...A Flock of Seagulls: You have destroyed a calculator watch in anger...Pet Shop Boys: You have woken up next to an empty bottle of Magic Shell...Frankie Goes to Hollywood: You have woken up under your high school gym teacher."
fun
music
july 2011 by cwinters
If Michael Bay Has The Worst Taste In Women, Who In Hollywood Has The Best? | Pajiba: Reviews, News, Quotes & Cultural Commentary
june 2011 by cwinters
"But I will say that it was a comfort to me when I heard that the Coen Brothers were thinking of making a film about the NY Folk scene in the 1960’s and I didn’t have to worry that they might cast Blake Lively to play Joni Mitchell and Miley Cyrus to play Joan Baez..."
fun
movies
june 2011 by cwinters
Siracusa said so. - Actual quotes, complaints, and wise sayings from John Siracusa as heard on 5by5's entertaining Hypercritical broadcast.
june 2011 by cwinters
"Actual quotes, complaints, and wise sayings from John Siracusa
as heard on 5by5's entertaining Hypercritical broadcast.
Presented in reverse chronological order
and totally out of context."
fun
quotes
as heard on 5by5's entertaining Hypercritical broadcast.
Presented in reverse chronological order
and totally out of context."
june 2011 by cwinters
Playable Archaeology: An Interview with Telehack's Anonymous Creator - Waxy.org
june 2011 by cwinters
"Telehack is the most interesting game I've played in the last year... a game that most users won't realize is a game at all....It's a tour de force hack — an interactive pastiche of 1980s computer history, tying together public archives of Usenet newsgroups, BBS textfiles, software archives, and historical computer networks into a multiplayer adventure game."
fun
games
history
nostalgia
june 2011 by cwinters
Greenpoint Gazette:An Open Letter from Eugene Mirman to Time Warner Cable
june 2011 by cwinters
dunno if this is real or not, but... "Obviously what I’m saying is untrue, because Yelp does not review serial killers, but if they did, his babaganoush would be better than yours, if you both made babaganoush, even if his drugged and murdered people."
fun
june 2011 by cwinters
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: An Open Letter to the Gentleman Blow-Drying His Balls in the Gym Locker Room.
may 2011 by cwinters
"You are no longer a man that blow-dries his balls in secret. You have transcended that station and now fall into an elite group of Spartans that blow-dry their balls wherever they God damn please. If caterpillars emerged from their cocoons as butterflies with heavy, sagging testicles I'd imagine they'd feel the same as you might right now."
fun
may 2011 by cwinters
ESPN.com: Page 2 : 1984, it was a very good year
may 2011 by cwinters
awesome overview
sports
popculture
fun
may 2011 by cwinters
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Less Popular Olan Mills Portrait Studio Backgrounds.
march 2011 by cwinters
My favorite: "Taco Night"
fun
march 2011 by cwinters
the ragbag - movie magic i was watching sense & sensibility in...
march 2011 by cwinters
visualization of harry potter movie actors; which movie has the most?
harrypotter
visualization
fun
movies
march 2011 by cwinters
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You, Part Two.
march 2011 by cwinters
More good ones! "Kiss: You have partied on a boat in a driveway....Joe Walsh: You have fired a gun while in your underwear....Alice Cooper: You have a photo of your dog wearing sunglasses on your phone."
fun
music
march 2011 by cwinters
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Review: The Mead Spiral 100 College-Ruled Notebook.
march 2011 by cwinters
"An ultraportable device this light does not come without sacrifices, and Mead has opted for the unusual choice of not including a keyboard. Instead, its operated entirely by a stylus. Some of our testers found the use of the stylus as a control device refreshing and quick, but others struggled with punctuation and poor handwriting. Disappointingly, the stylus is not included with the purchase of the notebook, although the company was quick to point out that many third party styli are available at retail locations where the notebook is sold."
fun
goodwriting
march 2011 by cwinters
Tour De Gall | Culture | Vanity Fair
march 2011 by cwinters
"Twenty minutes later, possibly under their own steam, the snails arrive. Vesuvian, they bubble and smoke in a magma of astringent garlic butter and parsley. We grasp them with the spring-loaded specula and gingerly unwind the dark gastropods, curling like dinosaur boogers. They go on and on, expanding onto the plate as if they were alien. We have to cut them in half, which is just wrong. The rule with snails is: Don’t eat one you couldn’t get up your nose."
food
fun
goodwriting
via:jkottke
march 2011 by cwinters
Lego Carcassonne
march 2011 by cwinters
from the game, not the old French city
fun
lego
design
games
march 2011 by cwinters
Goodnight Dune
march 2011 by cwinters
exactly what you think it is; I've read its inspiration (the kids book, not the Frank Herbert one) about 200 times
books
fun
kids
march 2011 by cwinters
related tags
academia ⊕ achievement ⊕ activism ⊕ advertising ⊕ advocacy ⊕ agile ⊕ algorithm ⊕ aliens ⊕ altonbrown ⊕ android ⊕ animals ⊕ animation ⊕ apple ⊕ architecture ⊕ art ⊕ automation ⊕ baby ⊕ badwriting ⊕ bankruptcy ⊕ barackobama ⊕ behavior ⊕ bicycle ⊕ bingo ⊕ biz ⊕ blog ⊕ books ⊕ brucecampbell ⊕ cake ⊕ calvinandhobbes ⊕ candy ⊕ car ⊕ cats ⊕ celeb ⊕ change ⊕ charity ⊕ checklist ⊕ children ⊕ christmas ⊕ chuckecheese ⊕ chucknorris ⊕ comedy ⊕ comics ⊕ comis ⊕ community ⊕ consulting ⊕ cooking ⊕ creepy ⊕ crime ⊕ criticism ⊕ culture ⊕ customerservice ⊕ database ⊕ deathmarch ⊕ debugging ⊕ design ⊕ development ⊕ disney ⊕ documentation ⊕ doratheexplorer ⊕ drugs ⊕ dsl ⊕ dune ⊕ earworm ⊕ ebay ⊕ econ ⊕ editor ⊕ education ⊕ enterprisey ⊕ entrepreneurship ⊕ environment ⊕ evolution ⊕ fail ⊕ fart ⊕ fiction ⊕ font ⊕ food ⊕ fun ⊖ future ⊕ gadget ⊕ games ⊕ gardening ⊕ gear ⊕ git ⊕ godzilla ⊕ goodwriting ⊕ google ⊕ government ⊕ grammar ⊕ graphics ⊕ groups ⊕ gui ⊕ hacks ⊕ hair ⊕ harrypotter ⊕ hate ⊕ health ⊕ healthcare ⊕ hiring ⊕ history ⊕ hl7 ⊕ hoax ⊕ hobbits ⊕ html ⊕ http ⊕ i18n ⊕ ide ⊕ incompetence ⊕ infocom ⊕ inspiration ⊕ islam ⊕ jacktchick ⊕ jargon ⊕ java ⊕ javascript ⊕ job ⊕ johnmccain ⊕ journalism ⊕ jquery ⊕ kanyewest ⊕ kids ⊕ language ⊕ law ⊕ lego ⊕ leonardnimoy ⊕ linux ⊕ lisp ⊕ lolcats ⊕ lost ⊕ mac ⊕ management ⊕ marketing ⊕ marriage ⊕ mashup ⊕ materials ⊕ mcdonalds ⊕ media ⊕ medical ⊕ meme ⊕ mercurial ⊕ microsoft ⊕ mjd ⊕ mobile ⊕ montypython ⊕ movies ⊕ muppets ⊕ music ⊕ mysql ⊕ nature ⊕ nerdalert ⊕ network ⊕ ninja ⊕ nosql ⊕ nostalgia ⊕ obesity ⊕ objectivism ⊕ os ⊕ ouch ⊕ parenting ⊕ patterns ⊕ perl ⊕ photography ⊕ photoshop ⊕ php ⊕ physics ⊕ pirates ⊕ pittsburgh ⊕ plugin ⊕ poetry ⊕ politics ⊕ popculture ⊕ porn ⊕ postgres ⊕ pranks ⊕ pregnancy ⊕ presentation ⊕ profanity ⊕ programming ⊕ propaganda ⊕ psychology ⊕ qa ⊕ quotes ⊕ race ⊕ radio ⊕ recipe ⊕ refactoring ⊕ religion ⊕ rest ⊕ reviews ⊕ rhetoric ⊕ robots ⊕ rss ⊕ sarahpalin ⊕ satire ⊕ scalability ⊕ scatology ⊕ science ⊕ scm ⊕ security ⊕ server ⊕ sex ⊕ sf ⊕ sign ⊕ simpsons ⊕ slang ⊕ soa ⊕ soap ⊕ soc ⊕ sociology ⊕ spacegiants ⊕ spam ⊕ speech ⊕ spiders ⊕ sports ⊕ sqa ⊕ sql ⊕ squid ⊕ ssh ⊕ standards ⊕ startrek ⊕ starwars ⊕ statistics ⊕ steelers ⊕ support ⊕ sysadmin ⊕ tattoo ⊕ terrorism ⊕ testing ⊕ timetravel ⊕ tolisten ⊕ toread ⊕ toys ⊕ transportation ⊕ tshirt ⊕ twitter ⊕ unicode ⊕ unicorn ⊕ unix ⊕ urbanlegend ⊕ usability ⊕ vacation ⊕ via:jkottke ⊕ via:kmwinter ⊕ video ⊕ violence ⊕ vista ⊕ visualization ⊕ voting ⊕ wacko ⊕ walmart ⊕ war ⊕ web ⊕ webservices ⊕ weird ⊕ work ⊕ writing ⊕ wtf ⊕ xml ⊕ xslt ⊕ zombies ⊕Copy this bookmark: