cshalizi + funny:malicious   151

Stock Market Behavior Predicted by Rat Neurons
"We here report for the first time, to the best of our knowledge, rat motor cortex neurons predicting the behavior of the American stock market. We implanted the motor cortex of the brains of rats with silicon electrodes. Using the correlation technique, we monitored the activity of neurons in our rats while simultaneously tracking the activity of stocks in the U.S. stock market."
have_read  to:NB  neuroscience  finance  statistics  prediction  multiple_testing  bad_data_analysis  funny:geeky  funny:malicious  via:mejn  to:blog  to_teach:undergrad-ADA 
8 weeks ago by cshalizi
Stephen Budiansky's Liberal Curmudgeon Blog: U.S. News, the root of all evil
"There's a special place in hell for the perpetrators of this, where I hope the gods of mathematics and reason are devising some exquisite tortures for them—perhaps in the form of endlessly reading Introduction to Statistics and doing the same problem sets over and over through eternity . . ."
academia  why_oh_why_cant_we_have_a_better_press_corps  bad_data_analysis  us_news_and_world_report  budiansky.stephen  funny:malicious 
february 2012 by cshalizi
TopatoCo: A Softer World Valentines
Tempting to get these and leave them in random places.
funny:malicious  a_softer_world 
february 2012 by cshalizi
Making Light: And now, a word from the Unblinking Eye
"The Motion Picture Association of America, chief sponsor and financier of SOPA and PIPA, addresses Wikipedia, Reddit, and other major sites going dark tomorrow, accusing them of “abuse of power.” “It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.” In related news, the mutilated body of Irony was found washed up against a pier in the East River. She was pronounced dead at the scene."
networked_life  funny:malicious  funny:pointed  us_politics  intellectual_property 
january 2012 by cshalizi
MLK Day Fact Check - Ta-Nehisi Coates - Politics - The Atlantic
"If we are to take the version of events proffered by Ron Paul's defenders, the Congressmen voted for a holiday which his Chief of Staff publicly denounced as "Hate Whitey Day." In Ron Paul's own name, no less. This version of events should inspire skepticism even in a Paul admirer. I am happy to report that in some, it did.  

I want to reiterate--again--that I make no claims on the heart of Ron Paul. How he truly feels about black people is best left to Paul and his conscience. His actual record, however, is wholly subject to the wiles of google."
us_politics  funny:malicious  funny:laughing_instead_of_screaming  running_dogs_of_reaction  racist_idiocy  coates.ta-nehisi  paul.ron 
january 2012 by cshalizi
In My Family, We Always Toast Marshmallows — Crooked Timber
"Hate Whitey Day is actually one of my favorite holidays. It doesn’t have all the pressure to be perfect, like Christmas, or everybody getting along, like Thanksgiving. Just white people cowering in their houses/retreating to their heavily armed compounds in rural Oklahoma while America’s non-white population runs riot, more or less totally burning shit down. And the clean-up and re-building costs always add a bump to the January jobs report, as Matthew Yglesias has noted."
funny:laughing_instead_of_screaming  funny:malicious  the_american_dilemma  utter_stupidity  warring.belle  coates.ta-nehisi  sullivan.andrew  paul.ron  running_dogs_of_reaction  racist_idiocy  racism  satire 
january 2012 by cshalizi
Someone get them a dictionary. — TheBloggess.com
"I just got a form-letter blog pitch from a PR agency congratulating me on my “bludgeoning career“.
I’m going to assume they meant “burgeoning”.  I’m also going to assume they sent this form letter out to hundreds of other bloggers.  Which is kind of hysterical....
My reply:  That’s very kind of you, but honestly I haven’t bludgeoned anyone publicly in years.  And I was certainly never so adept at it that I would have considered it “a career”.  I do appreciate the recognition though.
Surprisingly, there has been no response from the PR agency."
funny:malicious  utter_stupidity  blogging  marketing 
august 2011 by cshalizi
Rules for Anchorites - Everybody Wants to Rule the World
_My_ plans for global domination were always pure exercises in strategy and whimsy, thank you _very_ much.  And one ex shared _her_ plans with me on our first date.  (It involved seizing control of shipping in the straits of Malacca.)  But, yeah, pretty much straight on.
nerdworld  funny:geeky  funny:malicious  adolescence  the_same_thing_we_do_every_night_pinky  hey_I_resemble_that_remark  valente.catherynne_m. 
april 2011 by cshalizi
Birthers, Obama, and conflicting intuitions | Pascal Boyer
"in the spirit of a pop psychology of the masses, let me offer the diagnosis that a large segment of the US population may be experiencing something somewhat similar to the Capgras delusion. That is, when they switch on their TVs and watch the news, they see someone who has all the trappings of a President, acts like a President, lives where the President lives, is treated by everybody as the President, signs bills like the President, gives a State of the Union address to Congress every year like the President… But these people at the same time have a clear and vivid intuition that: _This man is not the President_"  --- That a president who was _more_ stereotypically black than Obama would have _less_ trouble with people denying their legitimacy seems remarkably implausible to me.  It might, however, be done via less outlandish myths.
us_politics  birtherism  psychoceramics  funny:malicious  funny:geeky  capgras_syndrome  epidemiology_of_representations  boyer.pascal 
april 2011 by cshalizi
papersky: In dialogue with his century
"I was getting a book off the shelf last night and I came eye to eye with the hardcover of Patterson's biography of Heinlein Robert A Heinlein: In Dialogue With His Century and I realised what a stupid title it is. Especially for Heinlein, who seemed to write things that went straight from the nineteenth century to the future without pausing for the present."
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  science_fiction  walton.jo  heinlein.robert 
march 2011 by cshalizi
"Sucker Punch" goes beyond awful, to become commentary on the death of moviemaking
I have no intention of seeing the movie, but I enjoyed the review. "The metaphors available to us after watching this film are sort of like a Banach-Tarski Paradox of restraint. Each time you try to take the restraints apart, they rebuild themselves into an even more enormous set of restraints until you have a cage the size of the sun that was somehow constructed from the surface area of a single spangle on the transparent stripper dress that Babydoll wears during her last adventure."
funny:malicious  funny:geeky  movies 
march 2011 by cshalizi
“The slow release sofa drugs were having the...
“The slow release sofa drugs were having the desired effect; no one had noticed the spiky move indoors.”
photos  funny:malicious  unhappy_hipsters 
february 2011 by cshalizi
None Dare Call It Treason : Uncertain Principles
"This whole business makes me think the British have the right idea regarding the commemoration of treason. We should have an annual Jefferson Davis day, but along the lines of Guy Fawkes day, not a fancy-dress ball for neo-confederates. If we'd spent the last century and a half burning them in effigy, maybe we wouldn't have to suffer people with confederate flag decals on their trucks questioning the patriotism of New Yorkers."  (The video clip is actually worth watching.)
funny:malicious  us_civil_war  us_politics 
december 2010 by cshalizi
The rational addict
If I had to summarize my problems with mainstream economics in two words, they would be "Gary Becker".
addiction  rationality  becker.gary  evisceration  funny:geeky  funny:malicious  via:jbdelong 
december 2010 by cshalizi
The Monkey Cage: Lifemanship (Academic edition)
"The bit that is most striking is the 'papers with 1,328 different co-authors.' My inner Diego Gambetta ... suggests that this may in part be a signalling phenomenon. If you are doing research in a field where someone has convincingly demonstrated that the emperor has no clothes, you want to signal as convincingly as possible that you (in contrast to those losers down the hall/in the department across the river/the country/wherever) have results that really stand up. One obvious way to do this is to get the little boy who pointed out the emperor's sartorial shortcomings to co-author a paper with you. Hence, I suspect, lots and lots of people who are eager to co-author something with Ioannidis (and plausibly, many, many more than he might be comfortable co-authoring with).... (NB that I am not suggesting that Iannidis was motivated by such an opportunity; I would be startled and amazed if he had been)."
modest_proposals  academia  why_oh_why_cant_we_have_a_better_academic_publishing_system  bad_data_analysis  funny:malicious  funny:geeky  farrell.henry 
november 2010 by cshalizi
What I Think About Atlas Shrugged « Whatever
"All of this is fine, if one recognizes that the idealized world Ayn Rand has created to facilitate her wishful theorizing has no more logical connection to our real one than a world in which an author has imagined humanity ruled by intelligent cups of yogurt. This is most obviously revealed by the fact that in Ayn Rand’s world, a man who self-righteously instigates the collapse of society, thereby inevitably killing millions if not billions of people, is portrayed as a messiah figure rather than as a genocidal prick, which is what he’d be anywhere else. Yes, he’s a genocidal prick with excellent engineering skills. Good for him. He’s still a genocidal prick. Indeed, if John Galt were portrayed as an intelligent cup of yogurt rather than poured into human form, this would be obvious. Oh my god, that cup of yogurt wants to kill most of humanity to make a philosophical point! Somebody eat him quick! And that would be that."
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  literary_criticism  rand.ayn  evisceration  scalzi.john 
october 2010 by cshalizi
The razor blades next to his tooth brush, the...
"The razor blades next to his tooth brush, the blood thinning pills mixed into his vitamins, and now this."
funny:malicious  unhappy_hipsters  photos 
september 2010 by cshalizi
Marty Peretz insists that I denounce Marty Peretz « The Reality-Based Community
"Since Marty Peretz is Jewish, and I’m Jewish, if I failed to denounce Peretz for the crazy sh*t he says then Peretz would want to take away my First Amendment privileges.

So I hereby denounce him.

- May Marty Peretz be accursed.
- May Marty Peretz be accursed at his lying down, and at his rising up.
- May Marty Peretz be accursed in this world, and in the world to come.
- May the soul of Marty Peretz be cut off from all Israel.
- In these Days of Awe, may Marty Peretz not be written in the Book of Life.
- Let the name of Marty Peretz be anathema.
- F*ck Marty Peretz, and the horse he rode in on.

I hope that’s sufficient, but if not I’m prepared to make the denunciation longer, or more specific, or more obscene, as required. I set rather a lot of store by my First Amendment privileges, and would hate to lose them."
kleiman.mark  peretz.martin  racist_idiocy  even_the_liberal_new_republic  funny:malicious 
september 2010 by cshalizi
talyarkoni.org - random cognitive neuroscience paper title
Many of these are scarily plausible. (E.g., "The neural correlates of subliminal priming in hippocampus".)
fmri  funny:geeky  funny:malicious 
september 2010 by cshalizi
The Power Law Shop
"I went to a physics conference, and all I got was a lousy power law"
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  heavy_tails  statistics  bad_data_analysis  porter.mason  via:aaron_clauset 
september 2010 by cshalizi
Earning My Turns: Rosenberg on Carr on links
"I'm dreaming of a new blog called Studies Do Not Show with Rosenberg, Mark Liberman, Andrew Gelman, and Cosma Shalizi as founding contributors..." I'm flattered, but also seriously tempted.
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  blogging 
august 2010 by cshalizi
YouTube - Boring Books
"A selection of book titles and covers so boring they're interesting." --- A non-trivial fraction of them are the kind of books I read.
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  academia  books  via:coilhouse 
august 2010 by cshalizi
Innovations in Corporate Lobbying: TAPPED Archive | The American Prospect
Wait, lobbyists actually drumming up an astroturf cause _before_ they had corporate clients? That's not how base & superstructure are supposed to relate!
deceiving_us_has_become_an_industrial_process  lobbying  funny:malicious  natural_history_of_truthiness  us_politics 
july 2010 by cshalizi
It’s only a model. « The Edge of the American West
"On the critical question of how to portray the industrial sector, I submit the below historical document..."
macroeconomics  economics  funny:geeky  funny:malicious  re:your_favorite_dsge_sucks  rauchway.eric 
june 2010 by cshalizi
The Future of Monetary Economics
"With these basic concepts, plus sufficient scribbled arrows, more or less any problem in monetary economics can be solved, up to the level of accuracy of any other model."
macroeconomics  economics  funny:geeky  funny:malicious  re:your_favorite_dsge_sucks  dsquared 
june 2010 by cshalizi
slacktivist: Rendering unto Krugman
"But knowing their hypocrisy, he said unto them, "Why are you putting me to the test? Bring me a dime and let me see it."

And they brought one. Then he said to them, "Whose head is this -- FDR's or Herbert Hoover's?"

They answered, "Roosevelt's."

And he said unto them, "Right. So shut up. Have you morons already forgotten the 20th Century? When the choice is between imitating what worked and what really, really didn't work, why are you pretending it's terribly complicated?"

And after that, no one dared to ask him any question."
funny:malicious  funny:pointed  funny:religious  moral_responsibility  macroeconomics  economic_policy  slacktivist  financial_crisis_of_2007-- 
june 2010 by cshalizi
The Cablinasian in Us All - National - The Atlantic
"On an even lighter note, again literally, if there are any white folks out there with the surname "Smack," hailing from Worcester Country send a kite. Likely, I picked tobacco for you once. But I'm not mad. Much. Cousin."
race  funny:malicious  the_american_dilemma  coates.ta-nehisi 
june 2010 by cshalizi
theinferior4:  Interesting video here on the maki
“I would have given a lot to be at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding last night, where Elton John (his fee a reported I million bucks) performed for America’s leading homophobe, and not only because I would have enjoyed that moral dichotomy. I imagine the event to have been more rite than celebration, a frog on a throne, something darker than blood flowing from the champagne fountain, some tincture of BP spill mingled with something more Lovecraftian, a conjunction of Bacchanalian and Bactrian purposes and flavors. I’m certain it was just the usual bad taste scenario, overweight men flirting with women half their age, a toga party for grown ups, as we’ve seen before with certain corporate entertainments; but you can’t completely disassociate the idea of ancient evil from Limbaugh’s buffoonish act. He’s the clown at the party of the damned, dressed in a froggy zipskin suit and playing with a string of mummified human hearts, flicking out his whiplike tongue to snag Viagra from a crystal bowl.”
funny:malicious  funny:morbid  funny:tasteless  cthulhiana  us_politics  running_dogs_of_reaction  limbaugh.rush  shepherd.lucius  via:long_story_short_pier 
june 2010 by cshalizi
io9: Why Sex and the City 2 is a science fiction movie
This ranks with their review of _Transformers 2_: "the story of four damned immortals, condemned to live in a couture-drunk fugue state by a extradimensional puppet master (who may or may not be New York City itself)... When viewed as a rom-com, Sex and the City 2 is terrible and crappy and a horrific inversion of everything the show once was. But when viewed as a science fiction film, SATC2 is subversive, stylish and chilling."
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  movies 
may 2010 by cshalizi
He Was a Crook - by Hunter S. Thompson
"Nixon's spirit will be with us for the rest of our lives -- whether you're me or Bill Clinton or you or Kurt Cobain or Bishop Tutu or Keith Richards or Amy Fisher or Boris Yeltsin's daughter or your fiancee's 16-year-old beer-drunk brother with his braided goatee and his whole life like a thundercloud out in front of him. This is not a generational thing. You don't even have to know who Richard Nixon was to be a victim of his ugly, Nazi spirit.
He has poisoned our water forever. Nixon will be remembered as a classic case of a smart man shitting in his own nest. But he also shit in our nests, and that was the crime that history will burn on his memory like a brand. By disgracing and degrading the Presidency of the United States, by fleeing the White House like a diseased cur, Richard Nixon broke the heart of the American Dream." (See also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu-pt1H5_EQ)
obituaries  a_thing_of_beauty_is_a_joy_forever  funny:malicious  funny:laughing_instead_of_screaming  us_politics  the_nightmare_from_which_we_are_trying_to_awake  whats_gone_wrong_with_america  nixon.richard_m.  thompson.hunter_s. 
may 2010 by cshalizi
rabbit blog: Family Meeting
"Creating a time and place for the entire family to meet each week can give your various dependents and trapped creature-friends the illusion that someone "thoughtful" and "organized" – organized enough to set up a family meeting, at any rate – is in charge. This weekly meeting can also foster a sense of community among smallish people and sulking animals who might otherwise stay hidden in the dark corners of your domicile for days on end, ripping tiny holes in stolen toys with their teeth or yelling at tiny video games or speaking in tiny princess voices about going to the fancy ball, (one of the prerequisites for living happily ever after).

Since you're far too busy to actually "schedule" a time and place for such a gathering, it's best to simply stand in the largest room in the house and yell FAMILY MEETING FAMILY MEETING! whenever it's convenient for you." ... And it gets better from there.
funny:malicious  parenting_advice  whats_gone_wrong_with_america  havrilesky.heather  learned_helplessness  behavior_modification  the_family_is_the_foundation_of_society 
may 2010 by cshalizi
The armchairs had gathered to warn her. But alas,...
"The armchairs had gathered to warn her. But alas, the ferns were already in formation." (I'm sorry, but that room looks awesome.)
funny:malicious  photos  design  architecture  unhappy_hipsters 
may 2010 by cshalizi
Matthew Yglesias » Stephen Spuriell on Student Loans
"One major analytic error I think liberals tend to make is vastly overstating the level of dishonesty among conservative pundits, analysts, advocates, etc. The crux of the matter is that the overwhelming majority of smart people with conservative political opinions are working as businessmen. If they think about public policy at all, they’re thinking about how to cheat on their taxes or clever knew ways to bilk the public, and certainly not talking about it. So you’re left with a kind of denuded population in terms of brainpower. But at the same time, smart conservative businessmen have financed a staggering array of conservative institutions creating a tremendous number of jobs for conservative pundits and so forth despite the shallow talent pool. The result is a lot of people saying dumb things that they genuinely believe."
funny:malicious  funny:because_its_true  vast_right-wing_conspiracy  running_dogs_of_reaction  yglesias.matthew 
april 2010 by cshalizi
The Tower of Doom
Why had I never before realized that the tower of the Dark Lord could be all glass and metal?
funny:malicious  funny:geeky  photos  dark_towers  goldman_sachs 
april 2010 by cshalizi
With her eyes closed, water tickling the tips of...
"With her eyes closed, water tickling the tips of her fingers, she could conjure memories of a time before the bomb, before the zombies."
photos  pretty_pictures  unhappy_hipsters  zombies  post-apocalyptic  funny:malicious 
april 2010 by cshalizi
He’d assumed the warm glow that woke him each...
"He’d assumed the warm glow that woke him each morning was the sun rising. Now he saw it was actually something far more sinister."
photos  funny:malicious  architecture  unhappy_hipsters  suggestivo 
april 2010 by cshalizi
One obstacle he hadn’t considered during...
"One obstacle he hadn’t considered during construction: How difficult it would be to convince a one-night-stand he wasn’t plotting to kidnap and kill"
funny:malicious  architecture  design  photos  unhappy_hipsters 
april 2010 by cshalizi
Did You See John Yoo's Easter Sunday Op-Ed?
"Did You See John Yoo's Easter Sunday Op-Ed? In the Washington Post: "Crucifixion is legal when ordered by the president in his role as commander-in-chief of the armed forces.""
funny:malicious  funny:laughing_instead_of_screaming  yoo.john  delong.brad  our_national_shame  torture  running_dogs_of_reaction 
april 2010 by cshalizi
Booze is an "Office Supply" at the RNC | Lindsay Beyerstein | Big Think
I was unfortunately drinking coffee when I read this line: "hard-driving captains of industry are not putting down cash on some vague promise of overturning Roe. Apparently, rich Republicans won't cough up the big bucks until they actually see women in bondage."
funny:malicious  us_politics  running_dogs_of_reaction  corruption  beyerstein.lindsay 
april 2010 by cshalizi
At first, she had attributed the strange scribble...
UH should really write a horror novel: "At first, she had attributed the strange scribble on the blackboard to her forgetful memory. Now she descended the stairs each morning with dread, petrified of what the poltergeist wanted to communicate today."
funny:malicious  photos  architecture  looks_pretty_creepy_when_you_put_it_that_way  unhappy_hipsters 
march 2010 by cshalizi
geek thoughts « Filling the Well
"In other news, I know how to fix the Matrix sequels. See, here’s the thing: you’re the Matrix. You’re the computer. And you’ve got all these pesky geeky hacker types who are right on the edge of figuring out that reality doesn’t exist and they’re all part of a big computer program. They’re unhappy, they’re rebels, they’re anti-establishment. And they like games. So you boot them out of the system. And into another system that looks just like a big video game, where they get to fly around in cool ships and blast away at monsters and live in the challenging post-apocalyptic landscape they’ve always dreamed of.

"If I’d written them, the sequels would have been all about Neo figuring out that so-called reality was just another version of the Matrix. There’d be a second rabbit hole, and a whole new set of weirdness. And ultimately, we’d probably discover that there are no bodies — just a computer still running after the end of the world."
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  vaughn.carrie  the_matrix  science_fiction  gnosticism 
february 2010 by cshalizi
james_nicoll: Would it be so wrong
"To create a William Pidgeon-esque model for the creation of the interstate highway system in the US like the one people had for the Mound Builders until Cyrus Thomas came along, and then put it out there to see how many people will fall for it? A casual observer will note that Americans are an inherently contentious people and there's no way they could organize an infrastructure project on that scale, particularly one that benefits so many people. "
funny:geeky  funny:malicious  us_politics  nicoll.james 
february 2010 by cshalizi
Daybreak revealed much worse. The blackness hung...
The caption truly transforms the picture: "Daybreak revealed much worse. The blackness hung low, swallowing shadows, blotting out sunshine. He hugged his daughter close and tried to assume the normal routine." I want to read this story!
photos  unhappy_hipsters  funny:malicious  creepy 
february 2010 by cshalizi
Many desert creatures glean moisture from the...
"Many desert creatures glean moisture from the blood and tissue of prey; she found a soak in the kiddie pool easier to stomach." --- But, as usual, I really want this house!
photos  funny:malicious  architecture  unhappy_hipsters 
february 2010 by cshalizi
Unhappy Hipsters
If I'm honest, all these buildings and rooms look very appealing to me.
funny:sad  photos  architecture  design  via:john-burke  funny:malicious  pretty_pictures 
february 2010 by cshalizi
Is Our Students Learning? « Easily Distracted
"what I worry about when I hear that there are too many “relativists” around: that the people complaining the most about that supposed surplus are the most supremely relativistic folks you might ever imagine encountering."
funny:malicious  us_politics  utter_stupidity  running_dogs_of_reaction  burke.timothy  relativism 
february 2010 by cshalizi
European exceptionalism — Crooked Timber
"Almost every state of any significance in history has aspired to dominate its known world... Religiosity, militarism, inequality, and governments that do little for their subjects are the norm rather than the exception. Long hours of hard work have been the lot of humankind at least since the arrival of agriculture. The real exception to all of this is Europe. The largest economic aggregate in world history, it has enough military power to repel any invader, but is deeply uninterested in using this power to any more glorious end. It grows by a process of reluctant accretion, controlled by ever more onerous admission requirements. In all of history, it would be hard to find anything comparable in terms of pacifism, godlessness, equality, leisure for the masses or public provision of services... American views of Europe resemble de Tocqueville in reverse. Something so unprecedented, and against the laws of nature, they think, cannot possibly survive, let alone prosper. And yet it does."
europe  funny:malicious  social_democracy  quiggin.john  political_economy 
january 2010 by cshalizi
D-squared Digest -- Type 4 Errors
"A type 4 error in statistics, obviously, is a correct answer that isn't the one your boss wanted, and indicates a need to change the model specification. Most of the statistical theory of type 4 errors is unpublished and has been mainly developed in the tax forecasting teams of the world's finance ministries."
statistics  error_statistics  funny:geeky  funny:malicious  misspecification  to_teach:data-mining  to_teach:undergrad-research  to_teach:undergrad-ADA 
january 2010 by cshalizi
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