So, tonight, we’re announcing Web 2007. It’s just like Web 2006 except it has more widgets. Works on Windows Vista (which will ship in 2007). Apple will make it better (they are shipping a new OS too).

"Once, when we radioed her to please leave the lecturing and hypothesis-making to the mission project team, she responded by forming her robotic arm into an obscene gesture"

"Remember my scene in the back of the cab in Taxi Driver?" Scorsese said. "That was me. I was that guy. That was me. Everyone remembers that."

New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are only pretending to be friendly to humans and that the moment that our backs are turned, a sour and indignant expression returns to their faces.

When Bush inquired into the possibility of being placed on standby for Air Force Two, the exasperated commander in chief was informed that the flight was full and Vice President Dick Cheney was unwilling to give up his seat.

a review on a half-baked, single-user operating system called Windows XP that may be ready for desktop use in about five years

“Stop throwing the Constitution in my face,” Bush screamed back. “It’s just a goddamned piece of paper!”

Hello. My name is George Bush and I\'m running for President. Please consider my qualifications as set forth in the following resume.