"To my great-nephew Arthur I bequeath Tintagel Distribution, wholly and without reserve, save for one condition. You must marry, and stay married, for a period of no less than six months."

Merlin joined Facebook. 2:47am

It wasn't a spell, this pull he was following -- he may only be an apprentice sorcerer, but Gaius praised his skill. He'd even been rewarded by the Queen Igraine, when he'd driven the griffin away. He knew magic, deep in his bones, and this didn't feel like any spell he knew.

As an up and coming rock star, Arthur Pendragon is used to having people fall at his feet - and Merlin, a thoroughly unimpressed technician, is the only one willing to put him back in his place.

Arthur is a rich business man - Merlin is the down-on-his-luck hooker he picks up almost by accident one night. Things Happen Between Them - and not just the things Arthur paid for.

"Uther Pendragon is an elitist old fool," Her Highness said sharply, sighing in anger. "But he has a point. So long as the law stands, you are required to comply, or the crown will be forfeit."

Merlin picks him up from the airport, sees him outside, sunglasses and custom-made Armani jacket. He's standing beside his luggage, hair rumpled, smoking. Even from the front seat, far away, Merlin can see the tension in his shoulders, the pull in his forehead.

Speculation is ripe about hot new band Slash Dragon, after sharp-eyed fans spotted the two lead singers, Merlin Emrys and Arthur Pendragon sharing significant looks and touching more often than is required by bandmates.

Both the curiosity and the concern spike when he sees the reason for Arthur holding his hand under the water. There's blood on his index and middle finger, the beginning of scabs knotting over where the skin has split across the knuckles.

Magic users are dangerous. They’re unstable. The magic rots their brains, causing them to become criminally insane. There were pictures of it in all of Arthur’s school books. This is your brain. This is your brain on magic.

Five ways the secret isn't revealed.

"Smile and act as though I just shagged your brains out."

In which Arthur tries to be romantic for Valentine's Day but everyone, including Merlin, thwarts him.

AU set in Los Angeles, California during the 1990s. Arthur is a movie star. Merlin is a waiter. The word "prat" is used.

Arthur would probably have forgotten about him, looked away and maybe had one more drink before heading home because he rather desperately wanted to be curled up in bed with his cat, Sasha, watching Lost and drinking hot chocolate (absolutely no one knew of this ritual except, of course, Sasha, who had promised never to tell). But suddenly the guy opened his eyes and looked directly at Arthur, and something in Arthur felt total, final recognition. Whatever was in this skinny, awkward kid's eyes was exactly what was inside Arthur-- a deep-seated, unending loneliness, the knowledge that there could never be anybody who understood or wanted him.

She hears the news that they are to leave Tintagel to visit Camelot, by order of His Highness, Uther Pendragon. She knows little of the High King besides his hatred of all things magical and his unerring skill as a warrior.

They aren’t meant to meet, but it’s a chance encounter a full night before the fertility rites of the Beltane feasts, and Morgana and Arthur’s lives are about to change.

In which things don't stay buried. AU post-1x10.

Morgana sends Arthur on some blind dates that don’t go quite according to plan.

There is a small lake near Camelot which will one day become quite a famous park, and the ducks living there will grow fat and canny off of the bread tossed to them by undercover operatives and ex-KGB agents during secret meetings.

The only problem with playing a game you invented, against the person you invented it with, is that if you wish to use an unfamiliar move then first you have to convince your opponent that it always existed: they've simply forgotten it.

(containing a travel diary, the story of a heist, and two point five romances)

The fourth time Raito comes to the hotel room in the middle of the night, L knows.

It’s a perfectly wretched day in Camelot when Uther Pendragon announces Arthur’s betrothal.

There are many untrue stories about Camelot. This is another one.

It was no question to Arthur that Merlin had to learn how to fly properly. And land without injury to himself, property, or any friend he would choose for a ride on a shoulder. However, trying to get that through to his stupid manservant who couldn’t exactly talk back was really starting to stretch Arthur’s patience.

"Feel good," Merlin repeats, vaguely, as if the words have some odd scientific property. He sniffs, taking off his glasses with an approving little nod. "We can do that," he says, and takes a truly minuscule ampoule with pipette from the little shelf. He lets one pinkly shaded drop fall into the vial, watching with a smile as the colourless liquid darkens first before settling for a light, clear blue.

A different take on the ending of The Gates of Avalon, in which Merlin gives more than he intends, and Arthur starts a few fires.

Italy, Arthur, the glitterati he’d fallen in with by accident — they were all ravishingly beautiful, and Merlin was pasty and odd and terrifically bad with good company.

"Imagine the PR nightmare if good, hardworking French escorts found out."

The point of it is, anyone who’s sexually secure won’t freak out over kissing another guy.

When they reach the other side, all they find is another endless vista of burning fields and the same infinite stretch of road. The best thing you can have during the apocalypse is a healthy sense of irony. Or a decent car, infinite replenishing supplies and magical powers, but the irony helps.

Merlin is content, but not exactly happy, in Ealdor, so when his mother's friend Gaius' shows up with a tale of dragons under castles and priestesses and an exiled prince, Merlin is thrilled to listen. The reality, however, isn't so great: the priestess is a killer, the prince is a prat, and the dragon sure does have some curious ideas about them. But Gaius is saying it's Merlin responsibility -- destiny, even -- to help Arthur win back his kingdom, and to evade all the forces amassing against him on the way. This would, of course, be a whole lot easier if he could stand to be in the same village as Arthur for enough time for them to stop arguing.