It's a constant shifting balance between the feline and the human. You are Arthur. You choose your own adventure ...

Neal's head of the Caffrey family business now but he always feels more like a Burke than anything else.

Still, the wisdom of leaving a family to a man named Dom Cobb was questionable. The phrase "Don Cobb" didn't exactly roll off the tongue, and "Don Dom" was even worse. "Don Dom Cobb". A travesty.

During eight hours in the warehouse on an ill-advised bet, Arthur discovers that Eames is a man with no scruples.

Arthur and Eames suck at phone sex.

In which Arthur's biology hates him (and the feeling's mutual), Eames' patience is sorely tried indeed, and the future of the educational system is on the line.

"I'm looking for a good bra," she smiles again, "I'm sure you hear that every day."

The first time Arthur shoots Eames in the head at point blank range is when Eames falls in love. That’s the beginning. That’s the end. (Or: Tattoo!Arthur gone sideways.)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can't keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn't good enough, either. Except he is.

“This,” call-me-Gaius thunders, “is Mr. Morgan. He’ll be preparing you for Oxbridge applications, and I trust that you will treat him with the respect he deserves.” He is pointedly looking straight at Arthur as he says it.

It's around when Ray wants to hold Walt's hand like a goddamn teenage girl with stars in her eyes and wet panties that he starts to worry.

No one has better timing than a mother.

Or worse timing, depending on what said mother wants.

"Mum, no," Eames says into the phone, kicking the refrigerator door closed with his bare foot since his hands are currently full of ale bottles and sable paint brushes.

This was not a normal day. This day existed to prove that hell was real and it came with musical accompaniment by will.i.am. On this day, Steve figured out how to get him out of the office and torment him at the same time by sending him to the godforsaken DNC where it was all 'we shall overcome,' oh-happy-day bullshit.

Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

Brad meets a Nate on his first day at the new school. It's a beginning.

Brad Colbert and Nate Fick had met on the set of a now cancelled sci-fi show, years ago. Now, Hollywood turns out to be a small town after all, and it’s hard to avoid someone you broke up with. Especially when you both sign up for the same movie.

It's one week before the wedding and Arthur isn't nervous at all. But that's just the beginning.

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing.

(Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

"I'm having a hard time believing you flew all the way from England for a holiday you don't celebrate."

He'd been living like this long enough to know what being scared felt like, and yet this wasn't like any of that. Rodney hadn't wanted to know so that he could hurt John or laugh at him or pigeon hole him as the bratty rich boy. He'd wanted to know John, and John knew that if he could keep from running, he might finally be free.

Ray stops and reconsiders. There are at least four telepaths on the base, that he knows of, and he has been repeatedly told his thoughts are disruptive and inappropriate for the workplace.

He says, fuck them, it's probably the only time the goat-fucking nutjobs get to have any fun in here, Ray is doing them a huge favor and should be rewarded.

Nate is a vampire, but this war is making him feel more human than ever.

It was just not fucking on to be having wet dreams about the LT when they were back, all safe and sound and resettled at Pendleton. That did not fucking compute.

Brad and Nate are models. They fall in love.

Brad and the LT are always doing their eyefucking thing, with the LT's honest-to-fuck cocksucker mouth tilted up to one side and Brad letting his whole Iceman facade down. Even now, when they've finally stopped and the LT is here talking to Brad with his shiny green fuck-me eyes. (Not that Ray will ever tell Brad about the LT's mouth or eyes. Ray might be in a motherfucking war, but he doesn't have a death wish.)

“John Sheppard had a son? And he plays the violin too? What is he, a masochist?”

"It's just a goddamned crush!"

Nobody loses at strip poker.

That's when he figures out how to rig the impromptu security feed. If Rod's up to anything, they need to know.

“You know we can’t be friends. None of us are friends, sir. Brothers, yes. But we’re not friends. Friends get you killed.”

In which Erik is the son of servants, Charles is the son of aristocrats, and hedgehogs make repeated appearances. -- Modern AU that is clearly inspired by Atonement (minus most of the angst, that is).

The first time they met, it took twenty-eight seconds for Eames to start hitting on Arthur. It took a good five hours for Arthur to point a gun at Eames’ head.

Brad's known Nate was going to leave them –- him -- since the first time Brad climbed out of the BRC practice pool at Oceanside, unzipped his wetsuit and saw his fresh-faced lieutenant standing off to the side, watching them all and smiling as though he had a secret that Brad would spend a war and a lifetime trying to find.

But the war is over, at least for Nate, and a lifetime is shorter than you'd think.

Anticipation was not an emotion Spock had intended to allow himself to feel; yet, it made itself known despite him, and that it was never satisfied made it harder to suppress, each time the Captain walked past or stood near and conscientiously avoided even the brush of their sleeves.

For verizonhorizon's prompt: "You know what would be really erotic for Vulcans? Henna hand art."

Eames secretly hates working jobs with Ariadne, because they always end up working out of Paris, so that she can still attend classes, and Eames hates Paris. Hates it with a passion so bigoted and without foundation that he suspects he inherited it.

Bravo platoon as a fraternity.

"People on the Internet are writing porn about us..."

Draco has convinced the Auror department to test his new messaging charm for secure communications. Harry really would have preferred that he not find out through messages like, 'Yeah, tonight you're going to beg me for it,' that the system wasn't as secure as they thought.

“I don't think the definition of 'easy' includes being shot at by Russians and getting cock-blocked by your best friends!” Arthur shouts.

This could be the beginning of something amazing ... if Dom and Mal will only stay out of Arthur's way. A story in which there are Russians, Arthur spends a lot of time in his underwear, and (sadly) no one gets laid.

A modern day AU that delivers three well-worn tropes (university, strippers, businessmen) for the price of one. Consider this your warning.

>> When Merlin finished his A-levels, financing university by taking his clothes off didn't exactly occur to him. <<

Hate him, love him. It doesn’t matter. He’s still Arthur’s.

“This isn’t something we do, Eames. It’s something we are.” Magical realism, soulbonding, d/s fusion.

Charles and his BFF Tony Stark have the life - they're co-valedictorians at the most prestigious high school in the city, they have their own condo in Manhattan, and they get to go to all the awesome parties. Charles just wished he understood relationships and sex as well as Tony does. His theoretical bisexuality starts to feel a lot less theoretical when he and Tony end up in Professor Lehnsherr's Physics III course at Columbia University, but Charles' decision to take their relationship further leaves both student and professor with more than they bargained for. Features an enthusiastically-consenting!16-year-old!Charles.

Brad's a cop, Nate's an FBI agent. They go undercover as a gay couple.

Nate spares a thought for his parents down the hall, but there are his sisters' two empty bedrooms, a guest room and a bathroom between them and him; everybody's used to Brad being in Nate's room anyway.

Did everybody else see this but him?

Being fuckbuddies goes well for an entire semester. Until it doesn't.

There is little that Agent Mike Wynn takes more seriously than the life of Vice President Nate Fick. When the number of death threats starts to climb, he calls in the one person he's sure he can trust, USMC Sgt. Brad Colbert, and assigns him the 24/7 task of being the Vice President's shadow.

Nate's pretty sure that most Marine Corps recruitment drives don't include lusting after your potential Marine brothers, but it's not Nate's fault.

This was originally posted at the kink meme here for this prompt:

Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Other

Arthur and Other are in a long distance, unhappy relationship. For whatever reason, Arthur is expect to stay with Other. He meets Merlin and they strike up a fast, emotionally deep, friendship. They often flirt, and have some romantic feelings towards each other. But Arthur and Other have discussed "The Line" which would define cheating on each other: Kissing on the mouth, any touching of private parts and sex.

Merlin goes to visit Arthur for the weekend, at night the end up having a light make out session, but never cross The Line. (kissing/biting necks, playful wrestling, frottage, whatever) On the last night together after an intense session they end up with their mouths barely touching, whispering to each other, but still maintaining The Line. They both want it so badly but they know how guilty they would feel if they crossed The Line.

When Charles forges a telepathic link between himself and Erik, the two men find themselves bound together by more than just destiny. With the world on the brink of war, Charles and Erik struggle to cope with a psychic connection that may well be permanent.

Basically, Charles Xavier needs a date to his tenth high school reunion. Enter Erik Lehnsherr, Raven’s best friend, who happens to be a model and the new face of Calvin Klein.

The cardinal rule of being a wedding planner is not falling in love with the bride or groom. Arthur's never had trouble with that rule.

Mike and Harvey wake up in Vegas. It's pretty much all downhill from there.

Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague.

Arthur sees a vision of himself and Merlin married and happy, but they can barely stand each other. They both start doing everything they can to avoid it happening.

In which Kirk and Spock have had sex half a dozen times, but this time it counts.

“Yusuf,” she says, dangerously, “did you give my point man a love potion?”

Arthur doesn’t quite know when renting a house in Westchester and pretending to be in a civil union with Eames came to constitute "lying-low" but however it happened, he wants a do-over. Pretending to be married fic!

"That," he says, "is how you know it was close." - Sebastian Junger, War

"Fairly everyday stuff. If it's too mundane, I'll completely understand if you're not interested."

If he wasn't interested? Erik gave him a blank look, and the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself: "you did see my record, right?"

"Oh yes, that," Xavier said vaguely. "I did. Metal, isn't it? I suppose that's why you were touching that gate. Can't imagine it myself, having my own abilities restrained."

Arthur tries normal life as a bank manager after the Army shuts down its PASIV program, until Eames comes along and steals that normal life right out from under him.

Arthur and Eames sabotage each other's jobs-- until they can't anymore. Or: How Arthur and Eames Learned to Stop Worrying and Make Their Own Form of Social Capital.

"Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush here. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders in addition to training and experience. I'm calling to offer you a job as Eames' fulltime bodyguard for his upcoming summer tour."

One day Arthur finds a quote scrawled on his desk. His competitive streak forces him to reply.

Eames is a movie star down on his luck. Arthur is the writer sent to interview him.

Arthur likes to find his inspiration in other people's dreams. Mal holds the secrets of a princess in a tower. Eames wants to cross the bridge and burn it behind him. And Saito's most popular author can't (or won't) finish her greatest work...

Harvey Specter wasn't the rich renegade badass that plucked Mike from his potential life of crime.

Tony Stark was.

If a top secret file on Phil Coulson and Clint Barton's relationship existed, it would look something like this.

Arthur's known since he was young that he has a knack for cooking and baking, and beginning culinary school only makes him more certain. But no matter how good he is, it seems Eames is better – which does not endear him to Arthur in the slightest. Eames, however, is quite determined to get Arthur to open up and stop being so uptight and prickly by any means necessary. While each hones his skill in the culinary arts (and Arthur desperately tries to convince Ariadne that the desired structural integrity of her cakes violates basic laws of physics), they increasingly find themselves drawn together, inside the classroom and out. Given such close quarters in the kitchen, and the amount of sensory stimulation involved with preparing all manner of food, it starts to become difficult for Arthur to retain his customary level of distance and detachment. And, as Arthur will find, when it comes to unsatisfied appetites, hunger is often the best sauce of all.

Saito's job referral draws Arthur, Eames, and Ariadne together for an extraction in Finland that proves unexpectedly dangerous and difficult, pushing the three of them past all limits and into a precarious and tender three-cornered relationship. In which Ariadne loses the future she'd planned, Eames loses the past he thought he'd already thrown away, and Arthur loses his distance, secrets are revealed and a dance for two becomes a tango for three.

Steve wakes up in the 21st Century. He doesn't think much of it, and it's dubious about him. He meets a Norse God, joins a superhero team, and feels terribly awkward about the whole momument at Arlington he's rendered obsolete by not being dead. Meanwhile, Tony is trying to make his mark on history by being the man who finally drove Nick Fury over the edge.

They're in Kiev the first time it happens – it's a complex job with a condescending extractor who has a grudge against Arthur that no one can adequately explain, and Arthur gets so wound up, and comes so close to snapping. It's disconcerting to witness him losing his ever-present cool, so Eames defies self-preservation instinct and pulls him aside with stern, bracing words, with a firm grip and a level voice, Get a hold of yourself, I fucking mean it. The fact that this actually works is categorically unexpected.

That's the thing about Hollywood--everyone has a Hollywood story.

"I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard."

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar.

Jim's pretty sure he's got mutiny right now. He's got a lapful of mutiny.

In 1965, Erik Lehnsherr has infiltrated the NYPD for his own purposes -- but his powers make him a brilliant detective. Yet that's not why FBI agent Charles Xavier has sought him out. It's because the mysterious killer they're both trying to find is murdering people like them: other mutants.

Their search for a madman binds them together. Their inner demons may tear them apart. But the greatest danger comes when the killer they're looking for looks back ...

Acquaintances, half-heart rivals: these words defined Arthur's relationship with Eames for years, until the Fischer job brings in another part to the equation--friendship. But the rules of engagement change completely during a night of drinks and suggestive conversation. What begins as a one night stand slowly turns into something much more complicated. Can you really be friends with benefits and feelings?

Wherein Mike is Merlin reincarnated, Harvey is Arthur, everybody else is everybody else, and they fall in love. Again.