In mathematics, the factorial of a non-negative integer n is the product of all positive integers less than or equal to n. This is written as n! and pronounced "n factorial", or colloquially "n shriek", "n bang" or "n crit". (Wikipedia)

It should have been a brilliant arrangement. Sex that didn't count was vastly superior to no sex at all and had the added benefit of no attachments and no expectations.

"Wait, you count our relationship from the first time we had sex in a bed?"

Great. Rudy poisoned us with his Zen health crap and now we're all going to go crazy, vomit rainbows, and die. Thanks Rudy!

“You don't have a Dr. McKay?” he demanded, trying to keep his voice steady and trying not to imagine any one of the terrible things that must have happened for him to not be here.  Radek gave him a curious look. “No, we do. But who are you?”

In which Kirk and Spock have had sex half a dozen times, but this time it counts.

Jim's pretty sure he's got mutiny right now. He's got a lapful of mutiny.

When Harry starts to have erotic dreams about his godfather, he questions his sexual preference. The real issue turns out to be even more complicated and disruptive. Then there's Draco.

"King Taranis is dead."

Because, really, why wouldn’t the slash dragon’s fire create a slash sword?

Arthur’s food taster had come back to the kitchens and within ten minutes had been trying to get a hand or two down everyone’s pants. Gwen had been the one to guess the cause and Merlin had immediately thrown himself out of the kitchen, nearly knocking over a few servants on his way.

This story officially starts a few pages back with Mysterious Happenings That Arthur Has To Look Into followed shortly by Merlin Being Deeply Concerned And Following His Prince Into Danger, but that bit’s boring and I won’t waste either of our times on it, so let’s just start with Arthur and his knights and Merlin trapped in The Virgin Cave.

The first thing Merlin had learned about magic when he’d gotten to Camelot — aside from the fact that the practice of it could get you killed — was that it didn’t always work as planned. If the visiting Princess had asked him, then Merlin would have told her that himself, but she’d had to go and get grabby and drug the whole royal court with something that made them...suggestible.

A water nymph made them do it. No, really.

"You want me to rob a grave?"

Merlin had once dreamt that his life would mean something. That time is passed. There’s not much meaning to a life of turning tricks.

"You know how some animals can only – they’re only fertile at certain times, and at those times they get very - they have to –"

A hand on his shoulder – scalding hot – wrenches him from her. He tells himself he doesn't remember what comes next.

"How long do you think it will be, before Uther learns the truth and both your lives are forfeit? Come with me and he will keep his life. By all the ancient gods I swear it."

"I believe that you've been—unconsciously, of course—coercing people into lying with you."

(She may or may not blame the eggnog later on, of course. He cannot foresee whether she will, and cannot bring himself to care just yet.)

Gaius had warned Merlin about manipulating others' emotions with magic. "Magic used for selfish purposes never ends well," he'd said. But this, Merlin was confident, didn't count.

Raven sipped also, and wiped his mouth with a finger. The boy turned the cup over, pouring the rest onto the ground; it spun through the air back to Moon Queen, who laid it again on the table. Herne glanced at Hare, who was almost trembling with excitement. It barely took a shove from the green-masked boy to send him running for the trees, and Herne started after him, but a few quick notes on the reed flute drew him back.

"What are you doing?" said Kirk when Spock started taking off his shirt.

Kirk nearly turns a simple trade mission into a diplomatic incident. Luckily, Spock will do a lot to cover his captain's ass.

"I realise this may come as a shock to you, but our investigations have been going on for some time, and we’re quite sure. Your mother Lily Evans was not, as we had all previously believed, of pure Muggle stock. One of her ancestors was a Veela."

Arthur lies to a sorceress and gets slapped with a truth spell. Awkwardness ensues.

If there were ever a definition of too much of a good thing, Spock showing up in his office with a second Jim Kirk while the first one was licking his swollen lips and grinning like a demon.

"Now, Doctor,' Spock went on. "The advantage to a quick ceremony is that there's no opportunity to develop 'cold feet.' I suggest not being the voice of anything."

Growing up is hard to do, especially in the shadow of your father’s reputation. Scorpius Malfoy has a tough time keeping his resolution to be the best Slytherin he can be when schoolboy games, unicorns, incompetent friends and a beloved enemy all conspire to teach him something different – and rather wonderful – about himself.

“Oh, no, this test isn’t for you. The wager is for you. The test is for your young counterparts...do you believe in fate?"

After the bar fight, Nyota thinks to herself that if this is what being hit on by Jim Kirk leads to, she’s very glad she’s never going to have to see him again.

There's something in the air, pulling them together and pushing the kingdom apart.

Bizarre alien peace rituals, drunken debacles, Jim Kirk's pornography, the phrase 'bet your sweet ass' taken way too literally, bar fights, everyone's favorite Orion and super advanced sex toys of the future you wish you had now. A love story.