After the Fischer inception, Eames goes back to work as an extractor, and Arthur joins his team. Due to circumstances involving a guy who may or may not be from Greenland, pop astrology, someone's broken limb, hormones, and convenience, they end up learning that love is what starts down below (and makes its way up your spine).

You can't get much clearer than this, this slow inexorable push: even in his sleep, Harvey's making it crystal clear that Mike isn't actually welcome here. Harvey, Mike knows, doesn't do serious. Harvey does one night stands.

Ariadne needs a vacation. So does Arthur, but he doesn't know it yet.

"You want me to – but I'm not a barber!"

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can't keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn't good enough, either. Except he is.

It might be difficult to seduce someone when you want to climb their boyfriend like a tree. Merlin learns this the hard way when Uther mistakes him for someone who knows how to seduce anyone at all.

“This,” call-me-Gaius thunders, “is Mr. Morgan. He’ll be preparing you for Oxbridge applications, and I trust that you will treat him with the respect he deserves.” He is pointedly looking straight at Arthur as he says it.

It's around when Ray wants to hold Walt's hand like a goddamn teenage girl with stars in her eyes and wet panties that he starts to worry.

Brad Colbert and Nate Fick had met on the set of a now cancelled sci-fi show, years ago. Now, Hollywood turns out to be a small town after all, and it’s hard to avoid someone you broke up with. Especially when you both sign up for the same movie.

It's one week before the wedding and Arthur isn't nervous at all. But that's just the beginning.

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing.

(Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

"It's just a goddamned crush!"

John is a photographer, Rodney is a chef and food stylist.

It should have been a brilliant arrangement. Sex that didn't count was vastly superior to no sex at all and had the added benefit of no attachments and no expectations.

Eames is very good at pretending.

Brad unexpectedly meets a charming street hustler who insinuates himself into Brad's heart and life. Can Brad get him off the street? Does he want off the street?

Bravo platoon as a fraternity.

While Draco holds Rosmerta under a spell, there is more to her relationship with another Malfoy than meets the eye.

The owner of the elite BDSM club M. had not gained his reputation as the most coveted Dominant on the scene by taking on just any riff-raff submissive who asked. It would take an unexpected letter to convince him to accept a new client, but it might turn out to be the biggest mistake he ever made.

A modern day AU that delivers three well-worn tropes (university, strippers, businessmen) for the price of one. Consider this your warning.

>> When Merlin finished his A-levels, financing university by taking his clothes off didn't exactly occur to him. <<

1970s San Francisco mutant-owned leather club AU. Erik wants Charles to be his boy, then wants Charles to be something more. Through the miracle of hand-waving, Charles and Raven are 18, Erik 38, and everyone else slightly older than movie age. I planned a short PWP, but Charles and Erik were determined to have their epic romance no matter the setting.

During Tony's senior year at MIT, his partying habit finally hit the edge of his parents' patience. When Howard and Maria cut him off from his usual sources of money, he decides to turn to less conventional ones.

In which it's 1964, Camelot is an advertising agency with a budget problem, Merlin is a copywriter who loves to twist, and Arthur is a junior partner who loves to shout. More or less.

Nate spares a thought for his parents down the hall, but there are his sisters' two empty bedrooms, a guest room and a bathroom between them and him; everybody's used to Brad being in Nate's room anyway.

Did everybody else see this but him?

There is little that Agent Mike Wynn takes more seriously than the life of Vice President Nate Fick. When the number of death threats starts to climb, he calls in the one person he's sure he can trust, USMC Sgt. Brad Colbert, and assigns him the 24/7 task of being the Vice President's shadow.

At this moment Mike cannot regret any decision he has ever made because they have all lead him to this: watching Harvey Specter fuck the most beautiful woman he has ever seen in real life.

And to think, the day started out so ordinary.

God, it must have been terrible, to think that he would never have this again.

Arthur is a full-service masseuse. Eames is his favorite customer.

"But God knows this can't last. You're going to find someone you do want and I'd just as soon finish this before that happens."

Eames is silent for a long time before he says, "It's not going to happen."

"Statistically speaking," Arthur starts, but Eames doesn't let him finish.

"Statistically speaking, love," and his voice is almost a cruel imitation of Arthur's, "if it hasn't happened in thirty-three years, it's not likely to happen now."

Harvey picks up Mike in the pilot instead of Miss Eat-It-Off-My-Stomach. Mike isn't easy, in any sense beyond the obvious.

Mike and Harvey wake up in Vegas. It's pretty much all downhill from there.

Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague.

Arthur sees a vision of himself and Merlin married and happy, but they can barely stand each other. They both start doing everything they can to avoid it happening.

Arthur tries normal life as a bank manager after the Army shuts down its PASIV program, until Eames comes along and steals that normal life right out from under him.

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

Omegas in heat? The perfect whores. Sebastian Shaw? The bastard who kidnaps them for his Hellfire Club. Erik Lehnsherr? A hard-boiled detective who's been on the Hellfire case for months. The life-changing catastrophe that unfolds when he goes in on retrieval ... and finds Charles Xavier still writhing in his bed? ... Deep. Cover.

Arthur's known since he was young that he has a knack for cooking and baking, and beginning culinary school only makes him more certain. But no matter how good he is, it seems Eames is better – which does not endear him to Arthur in the slightest. Eames, however, is quite determined to get Arthur to open up and stop being so uptight and prickly by any means necessary. While each hones his skill in the culinary arts (and Arthur desperately tries to convince Ariadne that the desired structural integrity of her cakes violates basic laws of physics), they increasingly find themselves drawn together, inside the classroom and out. Given such close quarters in the kitchen, and the amount of sensory stimulation involved with preparing all manner of food, it starts to become difficult for Arthur to retain his customary level of distance and detachment. And, as Arthur will find, when it comes to unsatisfied appetites, hunger is often the best sauce of all.

Erik had been warned, to be fair. The realtor was very explicit that the last seventeen tenants had run from the premises screaming about the Exorcist or The Ring or some other terrible horror show.

Saito's job referral draws Arthur, Eames, and Ariadne together for an extraction in Finland that proves unexpectedly dangerous and difficult, pushing the three of them past all limits and into a precarious and tender three-cornered relationship. In which Ariadne loses the future she'd planned, Eames loses the past he thought he'd already thrown away, and Arthur loses his distance, secrets are revealed and a dance for two becomes a tango for three.

Prompt: Erik's nightmares are formidable, and Charles' proximity is the only apparent cure. Bonus for sleepy encounters.

Steve wakes up in the 21st Century. He doesn't think much of it, and it's dubious about him. He meets a Norse God, joins a superhero team, and feels terribly awkward about the whole momument at Arlington he's rendered obsolete by not being dead. Meanwhile, Tony is trying to make his mark on history by being the man who finally drove Nick Fury over the edge.

They're in Kiev the first time it happens – it's a complex job with a condescending extractor who has a grudge against Arthur that no one can adequately explain, and Arthur gets so wound up, and comes so close to snapping. It's disconcerting to witness him losing his ever-present cool, so Eames defies self-preservation instinct and pulls him aside with stern, bracing words, with a firm grip and a level voice, Get a hold of yourself, I fucking mean it. The fact that this actually works is categorically unexpected.

After all this time, Arthur has too much pride to simply ask Eames to have sex with him. A story in which the job isn't always glamourous, Cobb thinks Arthur makes poor life decisions, and Eames steals everything (including, maybe, Arthur's heart).

That's the thing about Hollywood--everyone has a Hollywood story.

Dreamshare goes legal, Arthur goes corporate, Eames goes and (against his better judgement) falls in love.

“Arthur, you've rung me at 2:30 in the bloody morning from Soho where you appear to be on a street corner and shirtless, possibly drugged. I've no doubt you're capable of handling yourself under normal circumstances, but drunken blokes aren't always the most understanding sort, especially when you're not actually selling what you look like you're selling.”

Draco owns a café in the city. Harry's a MP who comes in every morning, newspapers in one hand, BlackBerry in the other, and orders a triple espresso macchiato.

Acquaintances, half-heart rivals: these words defined Arthur's relationship with Eames for years, until the Fischer job brings in another part to the equation--friendship. But the rules of engagement change completely during a night of drinks and suggestive conversation. What begins as a one night stand slowly turns into something much more complicated. Can you really be friends with benefits and feelings?

Wherein Mike is Merlin reincarnated, Harvey is Arthur, everybody else is everybody else, and they fall in love. Again.

"You've always been obsessed with Malfoy, Harry. That should probably tell you something."

After pining for longer than he'd care to admit, Arthur asks Merlin out and gets more than he expected.

I'm the guy your boyfriend fucked last night, Arthur could say. I'm the guy who sucked his dick years before he even knew you existed. He wants to say, I'm the guy who'll still be here long after you've had enough because I'm Arthur and I'm a fucking idiot.

When Harry starts to have erotic dreams about his godfather, he questions his sexual preference. The real issue turns out to be even more complicated and disruptive. Then there's Draco.

It's terribly bad form, sleeping with your ex when you're still half in love with the bastard.

His best friend keeps cockblocking him, his relationship guru is a computer, and he might be gay. The future is very complicated.

Father Charles knew.

If you went to him, whether in the confessional or for an informal chat over coffee, he somehow always knew what was troubling you, even before you said the words.

"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?"

"I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."

In the midst of a very dull summer, Arthur wheedles his way into a bar and into Eames's pants. Cobb despairs.

Mostly, John just wants Sherlock to leave off the prostitutes.

Being a freshman piano performance major at a prestigious New England conservatory is difficult enough without landing the school's star baritone as your singer, and inevitably, your hopeless crush.

"Yeah," Joe says, calling his bluff but unable to keep from smiling, "yeah, I'm hoping you'll be my first off-screen dude-on-dude kiss."

“I promised your sister I would look after you, and that’s what I’m doing. Don’t forget, Charles, that you made this bed for yourself. Don’t blame me if you have to lie in it, too.”

Eames runs a porn studio, and has a very inconvenient crush on their newest bottom.

Boundaries are for other teams.

Canon AU -- Merlin's death is only the beginning; with no-one to protect the kingdom, Camelot falls to an enemy sorcerer and Arthur is forced to serve in the court that he once ruled. When an escape attempt goes horribly wrong, Arthur is rescued by someone he never expected to see again -- and it's their destiny to put things right.

Charles, a miner from a poor village in the countryside, saves the life of Erik Lehnsherr, scion of a successful business family and the richest man on Eisen. Charles is a telepath and somewhat anxious about it, while Erik abstains from relationships because the lights flicker and doors open and electronics vibrate when he gets too excited.

Also features a long-suffering sister, a foul-mouthed bodyguard, and a best friend with a heart that is definitely not gold.

In which there are princes, spaceships, long journeys, and old secrets uncovered. (An AU sci-fi fairytale)

Set one year post movie, Charles overloads himself in Cerebro, and his mind goes walkabout; wherever he is (and he’s around), it’s not in his body. Erik temporarily takes over the school in his absence, and finds that there’s little time for resentment or hatred when he’s busy organizing assigned reading for English lit, keeping the youngest children out of trouble, and trying to talk Raven into wearing clothing for the boys’ sake. Somewhere in between taking responsibility for the students and dreaming Charles’ dreams every night, he manages to remember that he’s something rather more than a weapon. In other words: A Love Story between two Gentlemen, told in Prose, Epistles, and Nonsense Rhymes.

Erik Lehnsherr is a visiting professor at Columbia University, as well as an acclaimed and award winning poet. Charles Xavier is a lead researcher with the Genetics Department who is well on his way to tenure. But what happens when Charles has to cancel a class because half his students abandon him in favour of a mysterious new English Lit professor? Naturally he ends up sitting in in the class, where Professor Lehnsherr mistakes him for a student. It's really too bad Erik has such a strict policy against dating students. It's also too bad Erik doesn't seem to know how to use Google.

“You know John, I could hypnotize you if you really want."

The one where all the Avengers act like Darcy is a bro and Clint is really bad at flirting.

aka the juicebox fic. In which Arthur's ass is magic and Eames likes sticking his tongue into small, tight holes.

"What my darling brother means is that he’d like a threesome."

He's used to the fluidity of dreams, to the quicksilver mutability of Eames within them, but it still shifts something inside his chest, to be chasing one person and finding another, to know that they are both the same. It's a Penrose staircase he's walked a thousand times, and yet every time there is a moment when he falls headlong off the paradox's edge.

‘Hey,’ the man purred, ‘you looking for a date?’

‘No,’ Charles said firmly, trying to keep his thoughts on his predicament. ‘I’m looking for my hotel. It’s called the Regent. Can you help me?’ He hadn’t met a whole lot of prostitutes before, but perhaps they knew about these things.

Apparently they did. They also charged unreasonable prices for directions.

Friendship means going in first and taking the heaviest fire.

Arthur's well aware that some people call this codependency. He thinks that label was invented by people who set artificial barriers on love. Love isn't a choice, it's not something you do. Love is a state of being that consumes everything in its wake like paper on fire.

You either love someone or you don't, and if you love them, you only say no until it's obvious you're not going to get your way, then you fully commit to whatever bullshit thing the person is into (whether that be yoga, distance running, video editing, or arms smuggling).

Which is how Arthur ends up with a pet pig.

Darcy helps Steve learn about the modern world.

Plenty of people get themselves blackout drunk and wake up with an unexpected husband. It's embarrassing but it happens. Natasha is trying to figure out how she could have woken up with an unexpected brother.

Years later, Charles would remember that day. Sometimes he would wonder if he could have changed anything; other times he would despair over what he had since become. But he would always hold the image in his mind: Raven, laughing, and his thoughts flying alongside her on strong wings, silver-gold through the winter air. Once upon a time.

Eames has a hard and fast rule against fucking anyone underage. Arthur would have the utmost respect for this rule, if he hadn't just gotten cockblocked by it at the age of twenty-three.

This is not exactly what Jim thought the 'exploring strange new worlds and exotic civilizations' was about. Also, Vulcans are kind of crazy. Jim and Spock go through a alien ritual, which, yes, changes everything -- he's hoping for the better. Spock just wants to get through this with his sanity, if not his dignity, mostly intact.