Neal's head of the Caffrey family business now but he always feels more like a Burke than anything else.

If it's Remus and Sirius, then somehow it's okay.

Charles is a magician. Erik is his demon.

Erik is a demon. Charles is his magician.

Together they're going to turn society upside-down.

How it happened, from beginning to end, from the man who started it all.

It might be difficult to seduce someone when you want to climb their boyfriend like a tree. Merlin learns this the hard way when Uther mistakes him for someone who knows how to seduce anyone at all.

Every office has a 'cute guy from Marketing with a great ass' that everyone wants to sleep with. Among the junior agents at SHIELD, that person is Phil Coulson. Clint would find it hilarious, but he just wants people to stop throwing themselves at his boyfriend.

Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

Brad meets a Nate on his first day at the new school. It's a beginning.

Brad Colbert and Nate Fick had met on the set of a now cancelled sci-fi show, years ago. Now, Hollywood turns out to be a small town after all, and it’s hard to avoid someone you broke up with. Especially when you both sign up for the same movie.

Their sophomore year the whole school was suddenly bursting with gossip, the scuttlebutt having Nate caught on a steamy make-out session with Rick Sykes. Rick protested a great deal, maintained he was drunk or stoned or temporarily insane, and then he transferred to another school. Nate laughed when asked, rolled his eyes at the occasional spiteful comment, and then went and joined the cheerleading squad and started volunteering with the homecoming committee.

Few weeks later he dated the homecoming queen for a while and she was gushing about him to everyone who wanted to listen and to a few who didn't.

The entire school quietly wondered what the fuck.

"Bisexuality, look it up," Nate advised Ray earnestly, not a hint of mocking in his voice or on his face, just the helpful smile, like he was ready to lend Ray his dictionary.

Brad supposes that complaining about having too good a boyfriend wouldn’t win him any support from anyone.

Erik keeps everything -- body, mind -- under wraps, leaving Charles no choice but to find other outlets for his desires. When those desires cut a little too close to home, though, everything comes out into the open.

Nate’s in a circle of women, and Brad scans their faces, surprised to recognize them all. He saves Nate for last, so busy savoring each second of taking him in that it takes embarrassingly long to see the little girl he’s holding. “That’s a baby.”

Arthur and Eames have broken up and moved on. Only they haven't. Sometimes their not-moving-on happens at the workplace and sometimes it happens in hotel rooms. On this particular occasion, it happens in a pool.

In mathematics, the factorial of a non-negative integer n is the product of all positive integers less than or equal to n. This is written as n! and pronounced "n factorial", or colloquially "n shriek", "n bang" or "n crit". (Wikipedia)

That's when he figures out how to rig the impromptu security feed. If Rod's up to anything, they need to know.

Nate's trying very hard not to sound interested, though Brad can read the signs of his body. He can read Nate better than he can read himself, and he knows that this isn't a casual acquaintance. This isn't just someone Nate shared a class with. This is someone Nate's shared a bed with.

Brad unexpectedly meets a charming street hustler who insinuates himself into Brad's heart and life. Can Brad get him off the street? Does he want off the street?

Bravo platoon as a fraternity.

A modern day AU that delivers three well-worn tropes (university, strippers, businessmen) for the price of one. Consider this your warning.

>> When Merlin finished his A-levels, financing university by taking his clothes off didn't exactly occur to him. <<

Hate him, love him. It doesn’t matter. He’s still Arthur’s.

Nate spares a thought for his parents down the hall, but there are his sisters' two empty bedrooms, a guest room and a bathroom between them and him; everybody's used to Brad being in Nate's room anyway.

Did everybody else see this but him?

Arthur absolutely cannot stand anything about the housekeeper's son. Especially when Gwaine starts to take notice.

Basically, Charles Xavier needs a date to his tenth high school reunion. Enter Erik Lehnsherr, Raven’s best friend, who happens to be a model and the new face of Calvin Klein.

Merlin's addicted to Craigslist, Arthur's looking for love in all the wrong places, and with a little help from their friends, they manage to get it together.

Harvey and Mike go to Vegas for business. Harvey's never been good at sharing his things.

Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague.

In which Eames writes (sometimes horrible) horoscopes to woo Arthur, much to the chagrin of everyone (read: Dom), and manages to even mess that up. Go figure.

Eames is a movie star down on his luck. Arthur is the writer sent to interview him.

Harvey Specter wasn't the rich renegade badass that plucked Mike from his potential life of crime.

Tony Stark was.

Omegas in heat? The perfect whores. Sebastian Shaw? The bastard who kidnaps them for his Hellfire Club. Erik Lehnsherr? A hard-boiled detective who's been on the Hellfire case for months. The life-changing catastrophe that unfolds when he goes in on retrieval ... and finds Charles Xavier still writhing in his bed? ... Deep. Cover.

Erik had been warned, to be fair. The realtor was very explicit that the last seventeen tenants had run from the premises screaming about the Exorcist or The Ring or some other terrible horror show.

In which Tony takes Steve to a strip club.

That's the thing about Hollywood--everyone has a Hollywood story.

Christmas is about finding a place to call home. (Or, the one where Eames and Arthur have a Christmas...thing.)

Dreamshare goes legal, Arthur goes corporate, Eames goes and (against his better judgement) falls in love.

Arthur's one of the bright lights of the conservatory, but he's sharing the stage with a star about to go supernova.

Acquaintances, half-heart rivals: these words defined Arthur's relationship with Eames for years, until the Fischer job brings in another part to the equation--friendship. But the rules of engagement change completely during a night of drinks and suggestive conversation. What begins as a one night stand slowly turns into something much more complicated. Can you really be friends with benefits and feelings?

Erik Lehnsherr, world renowned wilderness survivalist, alongside his husband, Charles Xavier, survive the perils of the wild in order to bring you, Two Men, One Knife, an award winning reality survival series, available only on the Discovery Channel. Follow Erik and Charles as they travel to the world's most remote locations with only the most basic of supplies. Pitted against nature, this husband-husband team struggle to survive in some of the world's harshest climates while battling the planet's fiercest predators. Can they survive the Canadian North? Find out next season, on Two Men, One Knife.

"You've always been obsessed with Malfoy, Harry. That should probably tell you something."

"I do believe the two of you were in the same year as boys, were you not?" Headmaster Shaw said. "Charles is the most competent deputy any headmaster could ask for, Erik, and he's been doing this for years…" He trailed off, as if finally noticing something odd in the way his Potions and Divination masters were staring at each other.

"Of course," Charles said quickly, his voice only a little hoarse, and stuck out his hand. "Welcome back to Hogwarts, Erik."

Then Lilly wins... and there's something in her face that tells you she's been waiting for this for hours.

She points fingers at both of you, then brings them together. "Make out."

I'm the guy your boyfriend fucked last night, Arthur could say. I'm the guy who sucked his dick years before he even knew you existed. He wants to say, I'm the guy who'll still be here long after you've had enough because I'm Arthur and I'm a fucking idiot.

When Harry starts to have erotic dreams about his godfather, he questions his sexual preference. The real issue turns out to be even more complicated and disruptive. Then there's Draco.

It's terribly bad form, sleeping with your ex when you're still half in love with the bastard.

These moments, these secret meetings -- they’re borrowed, Eames knows this. He’ll take it if it means he gets to taste Arthur, to have him say Eames’s name like he can’t help it escaping him. He’ll take any scraped out time he can get just to feel Arthur’s hungry hands on his body.

Bones pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright, let me get it straight. A good chunk of the crew saw you and the hobgoblin trying to suck each other's faces off, but you're insisting that you've never kissed and that you're just friends. Oh, and let's not forget the little detail that both of you have girlfriends."

Five years. Five times they don't fuck, just fuck with each other. No times they don't.

Generally he chalks it up to one of the few awkward sexual encounters he’s had as an adult and a reminder that Mike isn’t as sweet and naïve as everyone else seems to think he is. But if Mike was willing to blow him while seeing someone else, it will shade his opinion of the kid.

Mostly, John just wants Sherlock to leave off the prostitutes.

Arthur loves Daniel, he truly does; but it’s Eames. There’s no point in drawing a comparison. It’s not apples and oranges. It’s apples and Goethe, apples and Rachmaninoff.

Being a freshman piano performance major at a prestigious New England conservatory is difficult enough without landing the school's star baritone as your singer, and inevitably, your hopeless crush.

Mike and Harvey are in a relationship. They just don't know it yet.

"Yeah," Joe says, calling his bluff but unable to keep from smiling, "yeah, I'm hoping you'll be my first off-screen dude-on-dude kiss."

“I promised your sister I would look after you, and that’s what I’m doing. Don’t forget, Charles, that you made this bed for yourself. Don’t blame me if you have to lie in it, too.”

He knew the calm before a storm when he saw it. And one had been brewing for weeks now.

< recording: azazel/prison_security/cctv/northwing /interview_room_camera_2/1_aug_1967 >

>xavier is seated at table / hands free / telepathic blocker crown surgically implanted
>lensherr enters with bodyguards
>lensherr dismisses bodyguards
>l: tell me what i’m thinking, mr xavier.
>[silence for 1 second]
>l: i can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must be for you without your abilities.
>x: not so bad, mr president. you should try it. feel the insubstantial difference between us and humans.

Erik is a fisherman who lives in a cottage by the sea; it's a quiet, secluded life, and he enjoys it that way. Charles has a bump on his head, with no memory of why he was dangling off the side of a dock, unconscious and nearly frozen to death.

Erik Lehnsherr is a visiting professor at Columbia University, as well as an acclaimed and award winning poet. Charles Xavier is a lead researcher with the Genetics Department who is well on his way to tenure. But what happens when Charles has to cancel a class because half his students abandon him in favour of a mysterious new English Lit professor? Naturally he ends up sitting in in the class, where Professor Lehnsherr mistakes him for a student. It's really too bad Erik has such a strict policy against dating students. It's also too bad Erik doesn't seem to know how to use Google.

Arthur breaks all the rules of American high school films, as though he’s never even heard of John Hughes, and Eames can’t decide if, given the choice, he wouldn’t rather just become Arthur instead of having the chance to be with him.

Years later, Charles would remember that day. Sometimes he would wonder if he could have changed anything; other times he would despair over what he had since become. But he would always hold the image in his mind: Raven, laughing, and his thoughts flying alongside her on strong wings, silver-gold through the winter air. Once upon a time.

Rachel thinks it's time to take a chance on Mike. Unfortunately, when she knocks, a naked man answers Mike's door.

They're both less innocent than they were a thousand years ago; less trusting, more broken. This time, Merlin is the one who gets called on his behaviour – and it's true, he thinks ruefully, he'd stopped bothering to learn the names of those around him long ago – and Arthur is the one who refuses to leave anyone behind. This time, Merlin is the one saying words like "idiot" and "moron," and Arthur has the stupid ears.

Mike swallows and stares unblinkingly back at Harvey when he says, “Like it or not, Mike, you made me the man I am today.” Time Traveler’s Wife AU.

Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control.

Tony Stark lives a double life; he's secretly the supervillain known as Iron Man. But his loving husband Steve has a few secrets of his own, as Tony is about to discover.

At seventeen, Trevor and Jenny are prototypical high school sweethearts, or they would be, it if wasn’t for Mike. They’ve been dating since the eighth grade, and it’s at the point where they’re firmly “Trevor and Jenny,” and not “Trevor” and “Jenny,” but Mike’s been there for every minute of it. Officially, he’s Trevor’s best friend, and Jenny’s confidante, but in practice, Mike’s so much more than that.

Still, as Arthur so kindly reminded him, it’s not his place to comment. Arthur is an adult, and more than capable of making his own decisions. If he wants to sign himself over to some hopelessly out-classed amateur who doesn’t deserve to lick the ground he walks on, that’s his choice.

As if everything else about this job isn't fucked up enough, the mark has an earworm.

Tony Stark is interested in Charles. Erik is not amused.

It took twenty minutes to track Mystique down once he decided he needed her, the Brotherhood's Genosha base a sprawling complex that spanned half of the island. He found her in the planning and ops room, bent, half sprawled, across the briefing table.

"Professor Xavier is giving the keynote address at the Symposium this year," he said without preamble.

Of all the many things Merlin had ever worried about getting arrested for, despoiling the king's ward hadn't been one of them.

"King Taranis is dead."

"I'm sending you to Ealdor. Make Camelot proud." With that the King turned and left his son standing dumbfounded in the armory, grasping for words.

Obviously, it was not just any sort of egg.

Merlin meets Morgana Le Fay at a support group for People With Freaky Unnatural Powers. Alright, it’s not technically called that, but it might as well be.

Merlin was attempting to flirt. He had never really had the chance to learn the subtleties of this strangely difficult art in Ealdor. Yet, however little practice he’d had, Merlin was smart enough to understand that it was all going very, very badly.

In the not so distant future, Merlin builds a tower. That's not suspicious at all.

He only meant to complain; you didn't take serving girls on hunting trips, and the alternative interpretation didn't even occur to him until Merlin said indignantly, 'I'm not going to do that!'

As soon as it happens, Merlin knows it's going to be one of those up-against-the-wall things.