Neal's head of the Caffrey family business now but he always feels more like a Burke than anything else.

In deserts, wheat fields, and rose gardens, Eames finds Arthur and shakes off the remnants of war. AU, very vaguely based on The Little Prince.

One minute Clint's reaching for his gun to stop Loki stealing the Tesseract, the next he's shooting Fury and taking it. Easy as switching sides.

The first time Arthur shoots Eames in the head at point blank range is when Eames falls in love. That’s the beginning. That’s the end. (Or: Tattoo!Arthur gone sideways.)

Phil Coulson wakes up in a hospital bed. Well, damn.

Young military Arthur goes to a sex worker to take care of his ~ass virginity problem.~ Finds an unexpected rapport, is drawn back repeatedly, falls in love, knows it's untenable for a dozen different reasons and doesn't say anything about it... you know the drill. Then the sex worker drops completely off the radar with no warning. Arthur panics, is heartbroken; represses the fuck out of it, forcing himself to move on. Several years later, they meet in dreamshare.

In which there either is or isn't a cellist.

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can't keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn't good enough, either. Except he is.

"I don't lie to Barton."

"He lies to you."

"Not very well. Not as well as you do."

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

Dreamshare is an addiction with some nasty side-effects. Eames and Arthur have a working solution, but when Cobb brings Ariadne into the team, they start to realise that not everyone has a safety-net.

Brad meets a Nate on his first day at the new school. It's a beginning.

It's one week before the wedding and Arthur isn't nervous at all. But that's just the beginning.

Brad's sister is the one to call and tell him. Of all the people.

Mensa-verse crossover. It warmed Rod's heart to know that the whole leave no man behind thing extended all the way to include alternate realities.

Everyone thinks Peter Burke has only caught Neal Caffrey twice. Everyone is wrong.

Bucky meets the team and manages to survive the experience, Tony is his usual dysfunctional self, and Steve pouts with deadly force.

John knows what's his - of course he'll kill for it.

Eames is very good at pretending.

Many of the pressures in Charles Xavier's life -- the sacrifices Erik and Charles make to be together -- the constant tension of being closeted -- Charles' relationship to the Church he once served as a priest -- his distance from his sister -- come to the forefront in 1967. Because in that year, for Charles, peace is no longer an option.

Brad unexpectedly meets a charming street hustler who insinuates himself into Brad's heart and life. Can Brad get him off the street? Does he want off the street?

When Nate disappears, Brad doesn't stop until he gets him back.

It starts with a pair of skates (they have toe picks). It doesn’t end there. A story of two skaters featuring a cat, a gender-specific couch and a lot of ice.

Whatever life Dom had in America, he’s left it behind as thoroughly as Arthur, and neither of them ever push the other for their life stories. Arthur likes to think that it’s because he and Dom agree about why everything that came before doesn’t really matter. That they both know their lives began when they met Eames and Mal.

During Tony's senior year at MIT, his partying habit finally hit the edge of his parents' patience. When Howard and Maria cut him off from his usual sources of money, he decides to turn to less conventional ones.

What do you do when the people who've become your Pole Star move three thousand miles away? Neal Caffrey is about to find out.

Eames is a demon. Arthur is a priest. Predictably, they fall in love.

Clint, Coulson, injury, and the appropriate response from field agents regarding orders.

Clint’s hands never shake. He can take down an enemy sniper at one hundred feet in driving rain while bleeding out from a bullet wound in the stomach (that’s not theoretical; he’s tried it) but his hands never shake.

The first thing John could remember was learning how to hold his breath. There were six major requirements for working with marine mammals at Sea World, and he’d been able to list all of them since age five.

Death and life, hope and hopelessness, aren't just for the Pegasus galaxy. Eventually, inevitably, it's going to happen on Earth. John and Rodney, loss and family and what it means to be home.

Charles liked to tell people that the first time they met, Serik punched a kitten. (Or, the one where Erik is an angry Vulcan, Charles is still a telepath, and grief still shapes their lives.)

Zuko falls at the North Pole, and when he comes around he's not sure if he's more angry at the Avatar, his uncle, or himself. A story of emotional growth and tea with too much salt in it. AU from "The Siege of the North Part 2."

God, it must have been terrible, to think that he would never have this again.

Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague.

“Just once,” Eames says, “I wish you’d let me come round when I’m not in mortal peril.”

"Fairly everyday stuff. If it's too mundane, I'll completely understand if you're not interested."

If he wasn't interested? Erik gave him a blank look, and the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself: "you did see my record, right?"

"Oh yes, that," Xavier said vaguely. "I did. Metal, isn't it? I suppose that's why you were touching that gate. Can't imagine it myself, having my own abilities restrained."

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

After a client pukes on Mike and dies, Pearson Hardman is put under quarantine. The Associates go feral, the Paralegals build a fort, and Mike ends up in Harvey's office watching Inherit The Wind -- at least until Harvey notices something is wrong.

Mike tells Gram after a month, when he senses she knows, but also is aware that’s a piss-poor reason to keep on lying by omission. He says, “I lost the job.”

Harvey Specter wasn't the rich renegade badass that plucked Mike from his potential life of crime.

Tony Stark was.

Erik had been warned, to be fair. The realtor was very explicit that the last seventeen tenants had run from the premises screaming about the Exorcist or The Ring or some other terrible horror show.

Spock met Jim when he was 7 and Jim was 6. It has since been generally agreed that this was a mistake (or: the one where they grow up together and things are simultaneously better and worse for it).

Saito's job referral draws Arthur, Eames, and Ariadne together for an extraction in Finland that proves unexpectedly dangerous and difficult, pushing the three of them past all limits and into a precarious and tender three-cornered relationship. In which Ariadne loses the future she'd planned, Eames loses the past he thought he'd already thrown away, and Arthur loses his distance, secrets are revealed and a dance for two becomes a tango for three.

Steve wakes up in the 21st Century. He doesn't think much of it, and it's dubious about him. He meets a Norse God, joins a superhero team, and feels terribly awkward about the whole momument at Arlington he's rendered obsolete by not being dead. Meanwhile, Tony is trying to make his mark on history by being the man who finally drove Nick Fury over the edge.

Dreamshare goes legal, Arthur goes corporate, Eames goes and (against his better judgement) falls in love.

“Arthur, you've rung me at 2:30 in the bloody morning from Soho where you appear to be on a street corner and shirtless, possibly drugged. I've no doubt you're capable of handling yourself under normal circumstances, but drunken blokes aren't always the most understanding sort, especially when you're not actually selling what you look like you're selling.”

Naked might actually have been slightly less distracting. Tony was… almost wearing… a tiny, tight scrap of red fabric that most definitely didn't hide anything.

Note: Written for cap_ironman's Alphabet Challenge. The dissolving-armor-reveals-red-thong scenario is in fact the canonical way that the Avengers discovered Iron Man's identity, because every once in a great while, Marvel actually does love us.

"I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard."

Erik Lehnsherr, world renowned wilderness survivalist, alongside his husband, Charles Xavier, survive the perils of the wild in order to bring you, Two Men, One Knife, an award winning reality survival series, available only on the Discovery Channel. Follow Erik and Charles as they travel to the world's most remote locations with only the most basic of supplies. Pitted against nature, this husband-husband team struggle to survive in some of the world's harshest climates while battling the planet's fiercest predators. Can they survive the Canadian North? Find out next season, on Two Men, One Knife.

Rodney's got a predicament. John figures that he should give his best friend a helping hand. (AKA the one where both of Rodney's wrists are broken.)

When detective Charles Xavier finds himself hunting down a vendetta-driven serial killer, it doesn't take long for him to realize he's in over his head. It only takes a little longer for him to realize his killer is, too.

After pining for longer than he'd care to admit, Arthur asks Merlin out and gets more than he expected.

Then Lilly wins... and there's something in her face that tells you she's been waiting for this for hours.

She points fingers at both of you, then brings them together. "Make out."

When Harry starts to have erotic dreams about his godfather, he questions his sexual preference. The real issue turns out to be even more complicated and disruptive. Then there's Draco.

This. This was something that needed taking care of. In a non-traditional sense.

Arthur’s not sure if it’s the vodka, or the bitter fucking cold, but never has a single group of people been so completely adept at all forms of espionage and backstabbing.

Mal makes them tell stories. Mal makes them fumble for something to touch. Mal makes them fuck, but maybe that's not the important part.

John can't write up the case until he finds out why. He needs to write their story true. [Post The Reichenbach Fall, major spoilers.]

Bird AU. Erik is a lone kestrel on a mission to destroy the great golden eagle who killed his mother. Charles is an abandoned pet dove with no fear and a dream of making a place where the little birds can fly free. They don’t quite want the same thing, but together they’ll change the world.

So there's this thing going around Tumblr where this dog leaves food for in his bowl for weeks and the human eventually discovers he's carefully saving back food for a stray pregnant cat. Cat is eventually adopted by human and cat and dog live happily in interspecies harmony. It is adorbs.

Candy, who is an amazing human being that I probably should never actually talk to because horrible things would happen to the universe, was like OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THIS SHOULD BE KIRK/SPOCK

"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?"

"I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."

There is a swan, and he's not named Sherlock. And there is a duck, and he's not named John.

The story of ‘happily ever after.’

They say Man was made in God's image, and that's not wrong, exactly, except for how it's all wrong, except for how it's always been wrong, because Man was made in God's image, that first time, but man, lowercase, widespread, always evolving into something worse, man was made in the image of man, who was made in the image of Man, who spent too much time gorging himself on apples to remember much about whose image it was he was made in.

“I promised your sister I would look after you, and that’s what I’m doing. Don’t forget, Charles, that you made this bed for yourself. Don’t blame me if you have to lie in it, too.”

In which Cobb decides two babysitters are better than one, Saito proves that money can buy happiness, and Eames is excellent with children. Oh, and Arthur's a fucking Disney princess.

Canon AU -- Merlin's death is only the beginning; with no-one to protect the kingdom, Camelot falls to an enemy sorcerer and Arthur is forced to serve in the court that he once ruled. When an escape attempt goes horribly wrong, Arthur is rescued by someone he never expected to see again -- and it's their destiny to put things right.

Charles, a miner from a poor village in the countryside, saves the life of Erik Lehnsherr, scion of a successful business family and the richest man on Eisen. Charles is a telepath and somewhat anxious about it, while Erik abstains from relationships because the lights flicker and doors open and electronics vibrate when he gets too excited.

Also features a long-suffering sister, a foul-mouthed bodyguard, and a best friend with a heart that is definitely not gold.

In which there are princes, spaceships, long journeys, and old secrets uncovered. (An AU sci-fi fairytale)

Harvey’s all but got the potential client in Pearson Hardman’s metaphorical lap when the kid walks in the room and changes—quite literally—the game.

The story of daemons, and intercision, and souls, and how a ridiculously soft, trusting, naive telepath named Charles had an eagle daemon, and how an idiotic, stupidly fearless martyr named Erik had a tiger, and how the world feared them for it.

Erik is a fisherman who lives in a cottage by the sea; it's a quiet, secluded life, and he enjoys it that way. Charles has a bump on his head, with no memory of why he was dangling off the side of a dock, unconscious and nearly frozen to death.

Arthur is an ex-model and Eames is Vegas card dealer. Arthur wants Eames to help him with a con.

Arthur/Eames domestic adventures. Or: the mystery of Eames' disappearing underpants. Or: what Arthur wants to do on his birthday. Or: how Arthur and Eames learned to live together, put up with each other's weirdness, and learn that being a BAMF doesn't mean you can't also be a dork.

Erik gives up his powers to save a dying Charles.

"What my darling brother means is that he’d like a threesome."

He's used to the fluidity of dreams, to the quicksilver mutability of Eames within them, but it still shifts something inside his chest, to be chasing one person and finding another, to know that they are both the same. It's a Penrose staircase he's walked a thousand times, and yet every time there is a moment when he falls headlong off the paradox's edge.

Years later, Charles would remember that day. Sometimes he would wonder if he could have changed anything; other times he would despair over what he had since become. But he would always hold the image in his mind: Raven, laughing, and his thoughts flying alongside her on strong wings, silver-gold through the winter air. Once upon a time.

Traumatized by his experience on Tarsus IV, Jim Kirk runs away to Vulcan to undergo kolinahr.

Eames’ job overruns three days, which is about the upper limit of Arthur’s patience. After three days, he starts to worry.