Harvey wishes he could attribute it all to his Slytherin cunning, but the truth is, it's mostly a combination of Ross's family heritage, coincidence, and pure luck that leads to their first meeting on the Hogwarts Express. (Or, Mike is a Veela, and Harvey defends him from his adoring masses.)

There is an unwritten rule of the Christmas party, but can Harvey keep to it?

It's a constant shifting balance between the feline and the human. You are Arthur. You choose your own adventure ...

Eames and Mal have been seducing each other for years. But this time, Mal brings backup.

Neal's head of the Caffrey family business now but he always feels more like a Burke than anything else.

After the Fischer inception, Eames goes back to work as an extractor, and Arthur joins his team. Due to circumstances involving a guy who may or may not be from Greenland, pop astrology, someone's broken limb, hormones, and convenience, they end up learning that love is what starts down below (and makes its way up your spine).

Political crisis managers AU. Arthur and Eames are operatives for rival presidential campaigns in a heated Democratic primary. Can they find love and happiness in spite of all the pies, Republicans, and publicity disasters in their way? Even in the face of the dreaded ELECTORAL COLLEGE SYSTEM? I DON'T KNOW! LET'S FIND OUT!

Still, the wisdom of leaving a family to a man named Dom Cobb was questionable. The phrase "Don Cobb" didn't exactly roll off the tongue, and "Don Dom" was even worse. "Don Dom Cobb". A travesty.

In deserts, wheat fields, and rose gardens, Eames finds Arthur and shakes off the remnants of war. AU, very vaguely based on The Little Prince.

One minute Clint's reaching for his gun to stop Loki stealing the Tesseract, the next he's shooting Fury and taking it. Easy as switching sides.

Eames navigates the preconscious world straight into Arthur's pants.

In the immortal words of Freddie Mercury, Fucking on the subway, fucking on the subway, fucking on the subway on a job.

"It's a shame we had to meet like this." She blasts his kneecaps, and then lays a volley into his gut. He's still screaming in pain when Dom finally puts him out of his misery with a quick bullet to the head.

He appears the moment Loki summons him, standing at the ready like a good soldier. Loki smiles.

These are not all lies.

If it's Remus and Sirius, then somehow it's okay.

The hammer is his penis.

Or rather, Thor's dick is a hammer, and Clint's ass is the nail.

 "Arthur's learned this lesson before."

Arthur is working for Saito at Fischer-Morrow. Robert notices.

Rodney McKay is rich, gorgeous and at the top of his game—except someone just moved the goalposts! Now Rodney realizes he is sorely lacking the one status symbol that everybody seems to have…the perfect family. Rodney needs help, so he hires a relationship coach. Single-dad John Sheppard may be an expert, but not when it comes to his own relationships! And every day he spends with Rodney makes him wish that he could be the one to fill the vacancy in Rodney's life.

"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said.

"Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

"You take me to the nicest places, McKay."

How it happened, from beginning to end, from the man who started it all.

Ariadne needs a vacation. So does Arthur, but he doesn't know it yet.

Most people, when they break up, sort through their record collections, possibly chuck each other’s clothes onto the sidewalk, engage in soul-destroying coffee dates where they try to sort through the emotional debris, and then leave each other the fuck alone.

Clint and Natasha were never very good at acting like normal people, though, which is why they run a cafe together.

Arthur is forced to move in with Eames. The world moves.

The first time Arthur shoots Eames in the head at point blank range is when Eames falls in love. That’s the beginning. That’s the end. (Or: Tattoo!Arthur gone sideways.)

Merlin was looking for something uncomplicated. Arthur was just looking to get paid. Neither of them expected to find the other.

Arthur needs a date for Gwen's wedding. The rest is history.

This time, Arthur has a secret.

"You want me to – but I'm not a barber!"

It's a mutually beneficial business arrangement and mutually beneficial sex. Arthur can end it any old time he wants. Any time of day.

Young military Arthur goes to a sex worker to take care of his ~ass virginity problem.~ Finds an unexpected rapport, is drawn back repeatedly, falls in love, knows it's untenable for a dozen different reasons and doesn't say anything about it... you know the drill. Then the sex worker drops completely off the radar with no warning. Arthur panics, is heartbroken; represses the fuck out of it, forcing himself to move on. Several years later, they meet in dreamshare.

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can't keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn't good enough, either. Except he is.

Ariadne works out something's going on between her two colleagues. She just can't work out what, exactly.

Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.

"Did you know," Rodney said, sitting down across from Sheppard in the mess and automatically reaching over to snatch away John's chocolate Snack Pack, "that you and Samantha Carter graduated from the academy the same year?"

John set down his half-finished turkey sandwich and shoved a few crinkle fries around his mostly-full plate, looking inscrutable.   "Did we," he said.

"I don't lie to Barton."

"He lies to you."

"Not very well. Not as well as you do."

“This,” call-me-Gaius thunders, “is Mr. Morgan. He’ll be preparing you for Oxbridge applications, and I trust that you will treat him with the respect he deserves.” He is pointedly looking straight at Arthur as he says it.

Arthur only ever works with Dominic Cobb.

It's around when Ray wants to hold Walt's hand like a goddamn teenage girl with stars in her eyes and wet panties that he starts to worry.

Some days, Arthur knew he deserved what he got. Other days, he still knew it, but he wrapped himself in self-pity, let it encase him like a security blanket, and didn’t know how to settle without it.

"Is it possible for someone else's memories to get in your head?" Ariadne asks.

Harvey can wax poetic about addiction all he likes, facts Mike knows are half made up and truths that are mostly lies, but he knows Harvey knows—it’s a break in the monotony he’s looking for, a place to put it, an off off off switch he’s never quite managed to find.

"Are we still at the airport?"

Natasha met Clint a little more than five years ago, under less than ideal circumstances. She met Phil five years ago, when things had got worse. It hasn’t been all downhill from there, but at least she’s had company. [No movie spoilers]

No one has better timing than a mother.

Or worse timing, depending on what said mother wants.

"Mum, no," Eames says into the phone, kicking the refrigerator door closed with his bare foot since his hands are currently full of ale bottles and sable paint brushes.

It’s the oldest trick in the book. It’s a fucking cliche, emphasis on fucking. It’s been done by every dicksuck James Bond wannabe and perpetually repeated by every new agent who doesn’t know shit. It never works.

This was not a normal day. This day existed to prove that hell was real and it came with musical accompaniment by will.i.am. On this day, Steve figured out how to get him out of the office and torment him at the same time by sending him to the godforsaken DNC where it was all 'we shall overcome,' oh-happy-day bullshit.

Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

Dreamshare is an addiction with some nasty side-effects. Eames and Arthur have a working solution, but when Cobb brings Ariadne into the team, they start to realise that not everyone has a safety-net.

It's such a little thing, a bullet, to be giving Erik so many problems.

Harvey keeps just-missing Mike at the Pearson Hardman costume ball, but he HAS met Mike's date, the gorgeous Rose Selavy.

Harvey didn't want to be profiled in a magazine as one of New York's most eligible bachelors. Nobody even knew Mike had been.

Brad Colbert and Nate Fick had met on the set of a now cancelled sci-fi show, years ago. Now, Hollywood turns out to be a small town after all, and it’s hard to avoid someone you broke up with. Especially when you both sign up for the same movie.

Their sophomore year the whole school was suddenly bursting with gossip, the scuttlebutt having Nate caught on a steamy make-out session with Rick Sykes. Rick protested a great deal, maintained he was drunk or stoned or temporarily insane, and then he transferred to another school. Nate laughed when asked, rolled his eyes at the occasional spiteful comment, and then went and joined the cheerleading squad and started volunteering with the homecoming committee.

Few weeks later he dated the homecoming queen for a while and she was gushing about him to everyone who wanted to listen and to a few who didn't.

The entire school quietly wondered what the fuck.

"Bisexuality, look it up," Nate advised Ray earnestly, not a hint of mocking in his voice or on his face, just the helpful smile, like he was ready to lend Ray his dictionary.

It's one week before the wedding and Arthur isn't nervous at all. But that's just the beginning.

Brad's pretty sure it would have gone diferently if he had actually seen Nate's movies.

The Vulcans thought that humans in space, unsupervised, would be too much for the galaxy to handle. And that was before Jim Kirk came along.

Replay is the story of how after Magneto of an X2-ish future succeeds in the unthinkable, Charles sends his consciousness back to 1962 to guide Erik away from the path that will lead to the genocide of the human race forty years hence. Charles knows Erik has always loved him, and intends to accomplish his goal through a totally bulletproof plan involving lots of sex. But there's something Charles doesn't know, and he's in over his head from the start....

Erik's side of the story is a little different.

"You can’t have it both ways, Colonel. If you haven’t had any relationships, either you’re having the occasional one-night stand or you’re not having sex at all.”

Also known as the (mostly) believable Virgin!John story.

"You can't make a sub the military commander of Atlantis," Ford said.

If this is what the middle of the night is usually like, Clint is prepared to visit it way more often.

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing.

(Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

Five things Albus Dumbledore could not bring himself to say to Gellert Grindelwald. (One of them is a lie.)

Groundhog Day AU. Brad Colbert wakes up and it's the same day over and over again.

Four days and two phone calls later, Ray is at Recon for an audition. Nate had called it a screen test, like hiring Ray was a done deal. But Ray knows that no matter what Nate thinks, Brad still needs to be convinced.

Brad’s plans for the Friday night included: pizza, working on his bike in Doc’s garage, listening to Ray’s band butcher whatever song they’re working on and listening to Ray’s rant on modern music, radio fascists who block his career, and how Brad never listens to him at all.

Also planned: trying not to kill Ray. It’s a constant struggle.

What he did not plan at all was to learn that, apparently, he was the sole heir to the Genovian throne. As you do.

"I'm having a hard time believing you flew all the way from England for a holiday you don't celebrate."

That's the twenty-first century love song, baby. Glitz and glamour and every one of us is a liar.

If there's one thing Ray is not, it's subtle. Ray is not subtle. He's not stealthy, either, and that's probably why he fails so badly at breaking into Brad's house.

It’s a party and Coulson is a wallflower. He’s wallflowering like a motherfucker, like it’s his job and maybe it is, sometimes, when there are Avengers avenging and he’s got to coordinate attacks and retreats but it’s a fucking retirement party and Clint’s going to make sure Coulson enjoys himself.

"Sometimes it's hard to shut down, stop thinking. I understand that. If you need help exhausting yourself into a state in which you are capable of actually resting," Nate murmurs, eyes on Ray's mouth. "The Sergeant and I would be more than happy to assist you. In fact, we might have to insist on it. Brad's very concerned about you, and I admit, Ray, I share that concern.”

Steve is adapting well to the new millennium, and he has the dictionary to prove it.

Erik keeps everything -- body, mind -- under wraps, leaving Charles no choice but to find other outlets for his desires. When those desires cut a little too close to home, though, everything comes out into the open.

He'd been living like this long enough to know what being scared felt like, and yet this wasn't like any of that. Rodney hadn't wanted to know so that he could hurt John or laugh at him or pigeon hole him as the bratty rich boy. He'd wanted to know John, and John knew that if he could keep from running, he might finally be free.

As Major Lorne tells it, John had stayed behind to buy them time and defuse the bomb—it had been Ancient, and thus of *course* he’d assumed that it would do whatever he told it to.

The day after they ordered Lorne back to Earth, John got a visit from Cadman. She stood in his office at attention for thirty seconds before she managed, “Sir, permission to speak freely,” and he gave it to her.

Nate's car breaks down in front of Brad's vineyard.

From the kink meme: So apparently Joss Whedon is going with the meet cute, where they first need to squabble and bicker before getting married heroing happily ever after.

It would be awesome if this phase of their relationship led to mutually consenting, up against the wall, struggle for dominance, who's-on-top angry sex.

Very quietly, Charles says, “Can you show me?”

“No.” Erik looks at him again, then, his expression as steely as Charles has ever seen it. His resolve is even stronger than his pain. “To show you this would be to make you share it, and I would never do that to you. Never.”