Charles liked to tell people that the first time they met, Serik punched a kitten. (Or, the one where Erik is an angry Vulcan, Charles is still a telepath, and grief still shapes their lives.)

A bad day for McCoy and the Enterprise leads him to break a promise to himself about his best friend.

James Kirk, growing up in two very different universes.

"How’s it going?" the instructor asks, her voice a harmony, hovering nearby.

"Futilely," Spock volunteers at the same time Jim says, "Shitty."

"How about this: you're ten kinds of a mess, chasing every set of legs in skirts or pants all over campus, you probably have twelve different diseases that haven't been diagnosed yet and I don't even need to count the ones that have, and you're a self-absorbed, emotionally stunted asshole who falls in and out of bed with someone new on a daily basis, if not hourly."

"We’re getting your seat back."

"You are in love. Wait, should I put this in something you’ll understand?" Bones clears his throat, stands up taller, and folds his hands behind his back, raising a single eyebrow. "Fascinating, Cadet. It seems you have taken an infatuation to another person of superior status to you in the Academy."

The five times Spock wasn't in love, and the one time he couldn't deny it anymore.

Some people would like to call Winona Kirk a martyr, but martyrs don't get to see their sacrifices pay off.

James T. Kirk doesn't get passionate about something unless it has breasts. Leonard McCoy knows this. And then something changes.

"It was also brought to my attention that after marooning you on an ice planet and attempting to strangle you to death, failing to speak out for your defense would make me, in the popular vernacular, a douche."

The Kobayashi Maru: how and why Jim Kirk hacked it.

In which Kirk gets beaten like a rented mule behind a bar, sulks about it for a significant period of time, is forced to endure Spock in eyeliner, and points that no one is ever going to buy what Spock's selling -- unless they train him up a bit.

Detective Spock, born on Vulcan and resident of San Francisco, is assigned to the Midwest police bureau. I think everyone can guess what happens next.

"If I enable your uncalled for territorial masculine paranoia, do you promise not to bother me at work for a month?"

He is four years old. His father is dead, his father’s people glad to be rid of the traitor. He has only his mother and his mind, and both seem liable to break.

"Miss Tam," he says, and he is polite though his face is radiating excitement when she turns and he sees-- yes-- she cannot be more than fourteen or fifteen. "Excuse me, but I am very interested to know-- how is it you are coming to be in this class?" Her face doesn't change, though surprise and interest flicker in her eyes, and he adds quickly, "They told me I was the youngest one here."

One day, Bones brings a dongly machine thing into Jim's room and sets it up on Jim's table and then looks Jim in the eye and says, "Jim, quid pro quo."

McCoy knew that he had issues, he didn’t have to mull them over every other second to make sure they were still there.

"I do not care even a little bit. Take Vulcan or go back to Tactics with your tail between your legs, but I've done you enough favors. Leave now."

The answer is √π233/hy7. Has been for all three months of the first semester. Jim's not sure why the galaxy's best and brightest haven't realize that, but it's not his school, not his problem.

Winona has all kinds of dreams for Jim's future when he's a boy, but not Starfleet. It's already taken too much from them, she tells herself, and as much as she loves it -- as much as she wouldn't give up space for anything -- she's not about to give it her boy, too. That's not really why, after a while, though. It's that Jim seems so angry, so ready to fight anyone who gets in his way. She thinks he doesn't need more weapons, more reasons to fight; he needs a home.

When he says she got the planet in the divorce, he means it.

Sarek does not always understand his son, but that does not mean he does not love him.

Of course Spock is the one who programmed it, and of course, he's there at the trial. Kirk will look back on that later and realize it's not as accidental as it seemed.

"Oh, my God, you’ve fallen off the wagon into the seedy underbelly and started selling yourself to pay tuition."

Just for shits, as far as Jim can tell, he teaches him the Standard accent that makes Vulcan ears bleed with pain, the one that makes them forgive you because you're trying so hard, and the educated one that might make a Vulcan take you mildly seriously. Then it's on to different dialects of Vulcan and why you don't talk like this in polite company and why this accent makes Vulcans think you're upper class, even if you're really, really not. As a chaser, he adds in Romulan and how it differs from Vulcan, and how S'Fuckhead basically rewrote it from the first few grunts the first proto-Vulcans made. (Which is actually kind of interesting, but Jim would rather live on plomeek soup than admit it.)

Spock will only ever be certain of one thing.

Amanda Grayson raises two boys on Vulcan.

"I'm studying xenolinguistics and she's studying computer science," Uhura snaps, the eighth time some cadet leans in close across a table in the library to ask what it was like, being an Orion slave girl. "The comparative anthropology section is over there."

Jim, I swear to fucking GOD. Is this shit you? IS THIS YOU? What the fuck are you planning? No, don't tell me. I can't bear to hear it. The universe record holder for largest confirmed orgy is something in the neighborhood of 300+ sentients, and that was in a planet that engages in psychic sex -- THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN BEAT THAT, ALL RIGHT?

Jim thought it was just a one night stand until McCranky turns out to be his Professor McCoy.

Bizarre alien peace rituals, drunken debacles, Jim Kirk's pornography, the phrase 'bet your sweet ass' taken way too literally, bar fights, everyone's favorite Orion and super advanced sex toys of the future you wish you had now. A love story.

Gaila knows a challenge when she hears one, even if it wasn't quite meant that way.

Uhura makes Gaila take a really boring literature class, and then Gaila tells her about the secret language of the slaves.