Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

Anthony Stark, degenerate genius and impoverished nobleman, finds himself wedded to the painfully proper Steven Rogers. Will their marriage prove intolerable to the both of them, or will they find a happy equilibrium, instead?

[fireandice] (18.35): If, on the other hand, you’re writing, as I suspect you are, for Midgardian fangirls, then get straight to the point. Armour off, shield down, straight to the fighting and fornication.

[hammer_time] (18.37): What’s a “fangirl”?

[fireandice] (18.38): Don’t be disingenuous. If you didn’t want me to know what Livejournal communities you frequent, you should have picked a less obvious username, oh God of Thunder.

That's the twenty-first century love song, baby. Glitz and glamour and every one of us is a liar.

Steve is adapting well to the new millennium, and he has the dictionary to prove it.

From the kink meme: So apparently Joss Whedon is going with the meet cute, where they first need to squabble and bicker before getting married heroing happily ever after.

It would be awesome if this phase of their relationship led to mutually consenting, up against the wall, struggle for dominance, who's-on-top angry sex.

“Seriously. All that Twenty Ways to Please Your Man stuff? I mean, a) all the actual women of our acquaintance,” he nods at Natasha, “will tell you that’s it’s sexist bullshit, feeding the male hegemony, denying the importance of female pleasure and seriously, get Pepper even halfway drunk and ask her about this because she has a lecture prepared, I swear to God. Anyway b) sex is not that complicated.”

Bucky meets the team and manages to survive the experience, Tony is his usual dysfunctional self, and Steve pouts with deadly force.

During Tony's senior year at MIT, his partying habit finally hit the edge of his parents' patience. When Howard and Maria cut him off from his usual sources of money, he decides to turn to less conventional ones.

At age fifteen, Steve Rogers had been in love with Tony Stark.

By age twenty, he’d (mostly) gotten over it. And then he promptly became Tony Stark's fuck buddy.

And that's how Tony's supervillainy hobby got way way way complicated.

In determining the meaning of any Act of Congress, or of any ruling, regulation, or interpretation of the various administrative bureaus and agencies of the United States, the word 'marriage' means only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word 'spouse' refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.

The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up.

Steve knew when he made the rule 'no sex before press conferences' that Tony would try his hardest to break it.

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

If a top secret file on Phil Coulson and Clint Barton's relationship existed, it would look something like this.

Where it was Nick Fury's idea, but he didn't mean it like that.

“I want you to tie me up,” Steve says finally, voice steady even as he refuses to meet Tony’s eyes.

Steve breaks up with Tony because he's in love with Iron Man. That's when things start to get complicated.

In which Tony takes Steve to a strip club.

From: Steve Rogers <steverogersamerica@gmail.com>
To: Tony Stark <tony.stark@starkindustries.com>
Date: Thu, Oct 14, 2010 at 2:15PM
Subject: RE: Test

HI

Sincerely,

Steve Rogers

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Steve wakes up in the 21st Century. He doesn't think much of it, and it's dubious about him. He meets a Norse God, joins a superhero team, and feels terribly awkward about the whole momument at Arlington he's rendered obsolete by not being dead. Meanwhile, Tony is trying to make his mark on history by being the man who finally drove Nick Fury over the edge.

Good news spreads fast - possibly faster than Tony intended. Pepper's gonna be mad.

Naked might actually have been slightly less distracting. Tony was… almost wearing… a tiny, tight scrap of red fabric that most definitely didn't hide anything.

Note: Written for cap_ironman's Alphabet Challenge. The dissolving-armor-reveals-red-thong scenario is in fact the canonical way that the Avengers discovered Iron Man's identity, because every once in a great while, Marvel actually does love us.

"I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard."

The swat Steve aims at his ass in retaliation is equally playful, but like a switch tripped Tony's brain flips from light-hearted fun times before they head home to wanting something that'll keep them both working late.

Day 214 on the campaign trail of Steve Rogers for President. Twenty-sixteen's turning out to be a hell of a year.

Tony has ideas about his role after the inauguration.

Fury's a beautiful princess. Clint's plotting a Communist revolution. Rhodey's not sexy. Wall-E's not a documentary. Clint's not gay but he does give a great blowjob. This fic is not an AU.

His best friend keeps cockblocking him, his relationship guru is a computer, and he might be gay. The future is very complicated.

On the plus side, marriage is bound to be easier than proposing.

"What my darling brother means is that he’d like a threesome."

He’s been given a room back at the tower—large enough for a single bed, a nightstand, a desk, a chest of drawers. Just off it, in what Steve thinks is a bout of sheer extravagance, he has his own private washroom, which has a constant supply of hot water that he doesn’t have to heat for himself. The first time Tony Stark sees it, he sniffs, turns up his nose, loudly asks what the hell Fury was thinking in assigning Captain America a glorified dorm room, he could get much better quarters for him—but Steve refuses to move out. It might not be the kind of Vanderbilt-living that a Stark is used to, but it’s more than Steve’s ever had before, and it’s his.

Steve can tell there’s something wrong with Tony. He just doesn’t know what happened. Or why Tony’s friends seem to think it’s his fault.

Tony Stark doesn't need to be safe, sane, and consensual. He has JARVIS instead. (Then he gets Steve.)

"Oh, I'm sure," Tony says. "Hormone sure. Legal name-change sure. Suits sure." His words slur and slide into each other, but he thinks Obadiah gets the point.

Steve thinks drinking with the team will be a good bonding session for their newest Avenger, but, as usually happens with his people and alcohol, things go kinda sideways.

After accomplishing pants, both coffee and Steve come surprisingly easy, because both are in the kitchen.

but the point being—the point being that bucky called the baby shortcakes and so right at the beginning he’s shortcakes, or shortcake, or, as he gets older, shortcut, because he’s forever running through and around the mansion and the yard and stark tower and one time, to steve’s consternation and tony’s near-heart-attack, the grocery store

Tony Stark lives a double life; he's secretly the supervillain known as Iron Man. But his loving husband Steve has a few secrets of his own, as Tony is about to discover.

He brings up a hand to rub his eyes and clear his vision, and freezes as he sees a paw instead of fingers.

As it turns out, fighting crime is the easy part.

His power's running low, the arc reactor flickering. Cold, rancid sewer water is rushing into the fissure at his torn up shoulder, filling up the gaps, rising along his neck in frigid fingers. He's been like this before.

Tony is the only one who can defend Steve's virtue. Tony hates his life.

The most he'd ever cared about anything remotely related was his uniform, which, beyond the stylistic, was pretty necessary. But now his suit comes from a lab far more advanced than the basement of a Brooklyn antique shop, and the only decision he really gets to make is if his pants are too tight. (They were, but he doesn't really think they changed them. He doesn't know why, but he thinks that might have been on purpose.) That being said, he doesn't know what he's done to deserve the double take Tony gives him as he walks in the room.

Sometimes Tony is popular in all the worst ways, and the Avengers keep discovering that being his friend can be terrifying.

After an unexpected attack, Tony has trouble dealing with his injuries and Steve has trouble dealing with Tony.

The first thing Tony Stark said to Steve Rogers was, "Hey, you're Captain America."

The second was, "Here, hold this."

“Tony, you didn’t do something stupid,” Pepper said, stalking toward him, her heels sinking into the carpet as she moved, “like tell Steve that being gay is just the thing to do in 2012? Hmm?”

There's no "I" in "Avenger."