It's one week before the wedding and Arthur isn't nervous at all. But that's just the beginning.

"If I confess to sorcery, will you let me sleep in the dungeons? They're very cool, or so I've heard."

He can't go back. He can't have Merlin undress him now. After seeing Gwen and Morgana together, Merlin helping to remove his clothes feels like too much.

"All three of them? Really?"

Four times theme:alcohol failed to solve Merlin's problems (and one time it did).

Gwen is glad that she will never have to explain what she and Morgana have been doing, because she can't. It just got strange all on its own, and she expects there is some good explanation for it that she just doesn't know. Possibly there is something in one of Gaius's books that talks about how sometimes when you are the maid to a fine lady, funny things happen.

"Uther Pendragon is an elitist old fool," Her Highness said sharply, sighing in anger. "But he has a point. So long as the law stands, you are required to comply, or the crown will be forfeit."

Speculation is ripe about hot new band Slash Dragon, after sharp-eyed fans spotted the two lead singers, Merlin Emrys and Arthur Pendragon sharing significant looks and touching more often than is required by bandmates.

Watching Arthur and Lancelot dance and drink and be prattish made Merlin a little mad, so he grabbed two bottles of wine, some glasses and went to find Gwen.

He took quick stock of the situation, and allowed a moment of mourning for the times in his life when being in women's clothing wasn't the least of his worries.

The problem with being the son of Uther Pendragon, legend of stage and screen, winner of Emmys (twice), Tonys (once), Oliviers (multiple), BAFTAs (twice), Oscars (once) and People's Sexiest Man (twice) was that nobody was ever going to take Arthur seriously as an actor in his own right. If Arthur stayed in London, his success was always going to be down to nepotism, name recognition or latent star fucking. At least this was the excuse Arthur gave Merlin when he packed his bags three weeks before he was to finish his Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts course and moved to Los Angeles.

Their first attempt at having sex lasts exactly ninety seconds, which is the precise amount of time needed for Merlin to reach behind Arthur's back to try to unhook his nonexistent bra, and for Arthur to smooth his hands over Merlin's chest to palm his nonexistent breasts. The moment of utter confusion is followed immediately by a supremely awkward silence.

"And you've been in love with Morgana since before I arrived and you still manage to do your job, so I thought you might have some advice."

There are many untrue stories about Camelot. This is another one.

Gaius had warned Merlin about manipulating others' emotions with magic. "Magic used for selfish purposes never ends well," he'd said. But this, Merlin was confident, didn't count.

Arthur closes eyes, turns his face into the pillow, and promises himself that it’s only the sunlight refracting, even though they only make love with the curtains drawn in the darkness of night.

"Right! Morgana and Guinevere it is!" Arthur agrees quickly. He’s not entirely sure how good of an idea it is to let Morgana be in charge of his kingdom, but he knows it’s an even worse idea to voice such doubts now she’s got the idea in her head.

Wherein Arthur is not the rich boss, and Merlin is not the assistant.

"Of course. Magical sheep. It scares me that that's not even the least believable magic threat to the kingdom you've ever suggested to me."

What really happened was that when Prince Arthur was born the King started boasting of his manly virility, saying that Nimueh's magic had been a fraud and that only he was responsible for the Queen finally begetting a child. And so, when Nimueh heard about this she enchanted the King and all his subjects, as well as all children born henceforth on Camelot soil with the most fitting curse she could imagine.

A Merlin-Supernatural Fusion. After a bitter parting and four years of silence, Merlin is contacted by Arthur to help find Uther, who has disappeared on the trail of Nimueh. Merlin is drawn back into the hunt, criss-crossing Britain in a vintage Jag with Arthur at his side, tracking ghosts, spirits, fantastic beasts, and Nimueh, the being responsible for the deaths of Ygraine and Hunith, years before. As well as the hunt, they must deal with their own relationship, and Merlin's special gifts that have begun to re-emerge.

When Arthur loses his home to his cheating husband, the last place he expects to find another is on a lesbian tour of Tuscany. That's not all he finds, either. Complete with lessons learned the hard way, well-adusted friends, gelato, true love, and maybe just a little bit of destiny.

He leans his forehead against the trunk of the tree and breathes slowly until Hallow flies down and calls for him to 'hurry, have courage.' It has taken three months and a lifetime to get here after being summoned from so far away, and his courage is hanging by a thread.

In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons.

The first time, Merlin really doesn’t recognize him, which Will tells him later is ridiculous, though Merlin will swear on anything that it’s true.

Morgana looked back and forth between them. "Have you two … met?" she asked curiously.

Wherein Arthur And Merlin Are Dating, Save For the Part Where They Aren't. Also There Needs To Be A Girl Version Of "Bromance" But That’s a Discussion For Another Time.