Harry returns from vacation with an unfortunate case of vampirism and must learn to cope with blood, Malfoy, and recalcitrant secretaries. And if that doesn't tell you everything about the plot you need to know, you haven't read enough badfic.

Remus meets Sirius on the Hogwarts Express when Sirius' piano falls on his foot.

If Regulus hadn't snitched, he should be fine, whether they were in or not. He could not, of course, tell from across the square. For all he really knew, the house had burned to a cinder while he was in Azkaban. No one would have told him if it had. Keeping prisoners informed about family gossip wasn't a top priority.

Regulus comes to terms with his brother, his family, his Lord, and himself.

"Winky saw Professor Snape killing Harry Potter and then - hic! - bringing him back to life!"

The war had given them all new and unexpected skills: Neville had learned how to break a man’s arm in three places, and Draco had learned kindness, and Ron, himself, had learned not to take unconsidered action. Almost.

There was visibility, and then there was invisibility. James Potter understood the difference between the two. When he decided to become invisible, no one was more surprised than he.

"I'd say it was the pot calling the kettle black, Granger. But I think you already know that."

When the war is over, its survivors learn to live with the people they've become.

"I understand your father likes the Muggles. Do you know anything about their blasted copy papering machines? Every time I put a roll of parchment in the tray it tells me I'm making jam."

Lupin sometimes leaves meetings, too, but usually on some pretext -- an urgent call to a mission, or checking on the children (Harry and his friends are still The Children, which rankles him deeply).

Harry acquires some new photos of the Marauders, and with them more information than he’d counted on.

Arthur Weasley discovers that no matter how limited the choices, the cost of using the enemy's techniques is too high.

"I realise this may come as a shock to you, but our investigations have been going on for some time, and we’re quite sure. Your mother Lily Evans was not, as we had all previously believed, of pure Muggle stock. One of her ancestors was a Veela."

"There's no need for being so glum. Twenty-nine's the new nineteen, they say."

Voldemort has just placed himself on the side of the Muggleborns.

Hermione knew exactly how long it took for a human body to burn.

A traumatised war hero and a convicted criminal under the roof of an eccentric journalist make for a rather odd ensemble, but Luna has never had a problem with oddities as long as they make sense.

It takes a few years for the magic to settle in. It's a complicated process, this replication of life, and when Harry Potter finally blinks for the first time he has been dead for six years.

James always believed that Scrabble was what won Lily's heart.

History has a funny way of repeating itself. A really, really funny way of repeating itself.

It is, as Ron has discovered, almost unmentionably nasty being in love with your best friend. Especially if you’re not sure if you’re really in love. Or what love is.

"Never knew werewolves were such fiends for tea."

Fred was born first. This, he claims, has given him innumerable advantages over his twelve-minutes-younger brother: he is ever so slightly taller, handsomer, smarter, wittier, and generally more popular than poor George. George concedes sadly that this is indeed the case, then transfigures Fred's ears into cauliflowers.

Wilhelmina Weasley writes an essay about her hero in the history of Magical Minority rights.