Her lips press against his cheek, warm and smooth and all the things that lips are supposed to be, and in that moment, Remus knows that he’s fucked.

It had started as a game between James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus – their own secret dueling club – and they met whenever they could. But they had been discovered by the Slytherin Prefect, Nicolas Gradenko, a not-entirely-unreasonable bloke who admitted that he knew of a small group of Slytherins who met for the same purpose. But instead of the Slytherin reporting the friends, a series of negotiations between the two Prefects, Remus and Nicolas, had begun – against the advice of James and certainly the approval of Sirius. In spite of their suspicion, before long there was a small group of students from all four houses meeting at the top of the Astronomy Tower.

"Oh MERLIN. STOP WRIGGLING OR I'LL HEX YOU! This is a rule. There is a KNICKERS RULE!"

One day, Sirius notices how attractive Remus’ girlfriend is.

Six hours stuck in a closet with someone you love -- it's the best kind of hell imaginable.

Maybe he’s just used to it now, and whatever he does to himself, it’s nothing new (he’s been broken, bruised, grazed, scratched, blinded, bleeding, twisted, dislocated and split more times than he can remember), or maybe it’s just the way Sirius sits on the end of his bed, complimenting his scars and suggesting what they can do next full moon before this one’s even waned yet, enthusiasm in his eyes and his hands only shaking slightly as he turns to go.

Beneath his bed were the socks that time had forgotten, a pair of briefs which he deemed fitting victim for his rage, and were quickly reduced to scraps of unrecognizable fabric, and a few stray dust bunnies that had eluded the house elves. He stayed there for some time, amusing himself by creating scenarios in which when he finally emerged, the world outside had ceased to exist, everyone had had their minds erased, or Sirius Black and James Potter had grown immense bunny ears on their arses and everyone forgot about the underwear's damming songs in their amusement.

Agreeing to go home for Christmas with James and Sirius, Remus decided, had been one of the worst decisions he’d ever made. It wasn’t, really, how many things had exploded on the train (seventeen), or how many people had been waiting for them at King’s Cross (zero), or the number of thieves who attempted to lift his trunk in the trip between King’s Cross, where James’s parents had been supposed to meet them, and The Leaky Cauldron, where they were meeting them (three).

In the days after Sirius dies, everyone avoids talking to Remus. It's almost like they don't know what to say, and don't want to risk saying something wrong. Or perhaps they just find it inconvenient to talk to a grieving man. Yes. That could be it.

How do I always get myself into these muddles? That’s what I want to know. Oh, I see you trying not to laugh, you old bugger, but I’ve got a real problem here, and I don’t even think your brother could come up with the answers. He’d probably go off on one of his lectures on love, but that’s what got me into this mess, isn’t it? Love for the both of them, though apparently not the same degree of love, or anything remotely like the love they had for each other, which was…ugh. Complicated. Why does everything always have to get so bloody complicated, anyway? It was the perfect solution, in my book. It was supposed to be simple, right?

A late night visit to the Restricted Section turns up a strange book. Remus and Sirius find their slow tug of attraction turning into a dizzying collision course.

Remus isn't a very good story teller, but there are things Harry wants to be told. Then again, there are some things Remus can never say, things that burn to think about. Betrayals and other things he keeps to himself. Secrets from when it all fell apart.

Remus knows it's a bad idea, as his back hits the wall and Sirius's mouth closes over his. He knows that it's going to hurt later, and not just physically - but he doesn't care. Even though Sirius is just playing. Even though Sirius is only doing this because Kathleen Beesom just turned him down and made him look like a fool in front of James, and now he's got something to prove to himself. But there's always good old Remus ready to be dragged off into a dark corner or pulled out into the alley behind the Three Broomsticks and shoved up against a wall. It doesn't mean anything.

Remus is safe, Remus is gay, Remus is in love with Sirius, and all of that is true, except this is Lily.