“This,” call-me-Gaius thunders, “is Mr. Morgan. He’ll be preparing you for Oxbridge applications, and I trust that you will treat him with the respect he deserves.” He is pointedly looking straight at Arthur as he says it.

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

So then, because he’s Hardison, he created a fandom.

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar.

As Eames turns to lead them around the building Arthur catches his hand. Eames doesn't flinch away or look down. Arthur taps in Morse code against Eames's palm.

SITREP

Eames taps back FUBAR.

[Lololbubble] whispers:do u think u culd rl wile i suck u off?

To [Lololbubble]: yes, & i'd still beat ur dps

In which Arthur has a revelation and dream-thieving is a lot like raiding.

Usually Arthur isn’t particularly interested in achievements unless there are pets or pvp involved, but there is a little bit of both in Hallow’s End.

write a cheatsheet for all the noobs THE SHATTERING AS TOLD BY A SMART SPIDER HUNTR

For Zach's 34th birthday, J.J. Abrams give him the reigns of the Star Trek reboot franchise and tells Zach to give him a script, a cast, and a shooting schedule by the end of the summer. Not to be left out, Chris helps out by turning the original screenwriters' swamp of notes into a shooting script and John takes over casting duties. Despite three months of whining, cereal, sighing, whining, and cross-country banter, they might just manage to get this movie together and make something new of their careers.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Geek Chorus (A Bunch Of Very Nice Women [Mostly] Who Write Stories Set In Various Popular Fictional Worlds, With Lots Of Crazy Sex)
Delicious (A Website, Home To Many Cherished Links)
Sandy (A Representative For Diigo)
Maciej Cegłowski (A Pinboard Developer With A Keen Business Sense And A Somewhat Odd Yet Sort Of Endearing Epic Grudge Against Bedbugs)
Longtime Pinboard Users (A Demographic Largely Consisting Of Tech-Oriented Men)
The Monsterdoc (A GDoc That Could Seriously Fuck Your Shit Up)
The OCD!Anons (A Subset Of Fandom With A Lot Of Spare Time And A Fetish For Consistent Margins)
Johannes (Some Guy From The Internet)

Arthur is a BNF and Merlin is his prized beta.

"But not – Rose, the ending is all wrong." At her uncomprehending stare, he took the book from her hands and flipped towards the end. Pointing at the offending line with one finger, he twisted the book back towards her. "See? Harry marries Hermione."

"O HAI," the cat said.

Slow death by dehydration, or slow death by chemical poisoning? Decisions, decisions.

The first time Lt Arthur Pendragon properly met A1C Merlin Emrys, he was doing push-ups on the floor of the Fort Campbell weather station.

They are what they become, which is the spontaneous dispersal of energy. Which in English is entropy which in Italian is entropia which in Gallifreyan is a word which means destiny and also means enemy.

Sam and Dean have an unexpected encounter at the Renaissance Faire.

"Yeah! Him! Yeah, the kid, with the--" That same vague wave. "--magic...shit. Anyway, dude! So there're these people, right, on the internet, and they like--write shit. I mean, as in." He leans forward a bit, lowers his voice, "Erotic shit." A dramatic pause. "About the kid."

Sometimes I feel that your preference for bottoming is a reversal of Russian imperialist policies and metaphorical extension of post Soviet-collapse shrinkage.

He knows who the boy is--one James T. Kirk, lauded across the nation for his amazing skill at the trumpet. He goes to Columbia, if Spock recalls correctly, where he double-majors in Music and Jazz Studies and minors in Mechanical Engineering.

About three interviews after they mention the word competition, Chris decides it’s time to step things up a notch. Things don't exactly go to plan.

If the fans are reading a little more into their dynamic than what's going on in reality, well then, that's why its called fiction. But he's starting to see glimpses of reality in the fiction.

It's stories about him. And Zach. Together. Chris grins. Fans are awesome!

Zach sits on the website for two days before he finally looks it up. It's an amusing and terrifying idea, fans writing stories about your life, and Zach can't quite decide if he's horrified or intrigued. He settles somewhere in between.

Zach has an idea. It is sheer genius.

There was something devastatingly cute about the mix of wide brown eyes, pale skin, pointed ears, and neat hair cut when packaged in a body barely over three feet tall and swimming in a blue science uniform top and dark undershirt that was entirely too big for his body.

He follows Jim to the bridge, where Jim promptly sits down in the big chair, curls his legs up under him, and smiles beatifically. "I IZ KEPTAIN. I HAS A COMMAND."

"Miss Tam," he says, and he is polite though his face is radiating excitement when she turns and he sees-- yes-- she cannot be more than fourteen or fifteen. "Excuse me, but I am very interested to know-- how is it you are coming to be in this class?" Her face doesn't change, though surprise and interest flicker in her eyes, and he adds quickly, "They told me I was the youngest one here."

One day, Bones brings a dongly machine thing into Jim's room and sets it up on Jim's table and then looks Jim in the eye and says, "Jim, quid pro quo."

There was no green shirt in with the blacks. There were no black shirts in with the greens. There were no shirts in any sort of wrong order. The string of curses that fell from his tongue was hostile and possibly suggestive of violence and might have continued to go on for quite a while longer had someone not elbowed him in the side and said: 'Oi, my mother’s here. Stop cursing like a bloody sailor.

The answer is √π233/hy7. Has been for all three months of the first semester. Jim's not sure why the galaxy's best and brightest haven't realize that, but it's not his school, not his problem.

"Uther forced me to swear an Unbreakable Vow."

Sam is always getting the praise and her smiles, but Jim gets her jokes—he's okay with that.

In which TV Tropes is a terrible tease, and Wikipedia tries to be respectable and fails.

Written and originally posted for this kinkmeme prompt: "The reason Colin is so defensive about slashing Arthur and Merlin is that he secretly reads and/or writes A/M slash and is terrified of anyone finding out. Bonus points if the discovery of Colin reading/writing stash leads to some Bradley/Colin action." The title is from a Conrad Aiken poem with the same title.

There are lots of interesting things on YouTube, Colin. You shouldn’t be so judgmental.

Just for shits, as far as Jim can tell, he teaches him the Standard accent that makes Vulcan ears bleed with pain, the one that makes them forgive you because you're trying so hard, and the educated one that might make a Vulcan take you mildly seriously. Then it's on to different dialects of Vulcan and why you don't talk like this in polite company and why this accent makes Vulcans think you're upper class, even if you're really, really not. As a chaser, he adds in Romulan and how it differs from Vulcan, and how S'Fuckhead basically rewrote it from the first few grunts the first proto-Vulcans made. (Which is actually kind of interesting, but Jim would rather live on plomeek soup than admit it.)

Chekov is growing up on a Starship. It's harder than you'd think.

"Dean, who is Captain Kirk and why does he want to experience sexual intimacy with a natural landscape?"

Ten writes the final Dumbledore/Grindelwald battle how it should have happened.

"Unseen University, this is Jurisfiction. We will require your co-operation. Your premises have been compromised by--"

The upside of living with a prophet was the fanfic. And the forewarning of the apocalypse. But, mostly the fic.

You have discovered the truth, Penny: I've never really met Leonard Nimoy.

Nobody wants to bring the shadow priest who has to stop melting faces in order to hack through a security system from afar, and "gotta go, my cat's on fire" only works so many times before people start asking "how many cats do you HAVE?" and "what are you DOING to those cats?"

So that's how Becky ends up babysitting a fallen angel with a broken arm. It's probably the weirdest thing that's ever happened to her and, considering recent events, that's saying something.

In the sixties, Aldo Raine retires. And then he drives out to Nantucket.

Arthur and Eames both play WoW. They kick ass at Warsong Gulch, and when they team up they’re nigh on unstoppable.

They don’t know they’re playing with each other.

The first time Alec read a slash fic—Kirk/Spock, and it was one of the first fics he’d ever read, and he’d only scrolled down because he was curious and didn’t get the terminology yet, and daaaamn that was graphic—he backed out of the post fast.

What do you give a girl who has everything? Or at least, enough firepower to get it.

The one where Chris has stupid glasses and a lot of paperbacks, Zach knows too much for his own good, there are at least two lap dances, and everybody wants to sleep with Dorothy Parker.

"Quinto Mad Libs," Cho says. "My date was: mean adjective, meaner adjective, devastating five-syllable mean adjective."

"Is that so really? Because last time I checked, algebra was the perfect paradigm of definitive principles, while you couldn't even make up your mind about civil marriage." [Math/Law]

He just conveniently left out the part where they were all going to have to fucking role play.

Star Wars.

Possibly, Dean thinks when he flips off the radio and the kitchen falls into a buzzing, anxious silence, he is going nuts. Only maybe he's got some serious denial going on, that he's pushed the end of the world back underneath work, fixing the Impala, fixing other cars for Bobby's few customers.

An anthro version of what happened on the titular date. Wikipedia uses brackets for everything in a manner reminiscient of A Beautiful Mind and TV Tropes is a massive Tsundere with an inconsistent-as-hell personality.

Merlin Emrys had strong convictions on the subjects of love and marriage—namely, that they should be avoided at all costs.

"Well, yes, if you want to take an incredibly complex and intriguing concept and reduce it to the level of a third-rate sci-fi show," and Rodney's face was clearly telling what he thought about that, "congratulations, it's a holodeck."

Jim, I swear to fucking GOD. Is this shit you? IS THIS YOU? What the fuck are you planning? No, don't tell me. I can't bear to hear it. The universe record holder for largest confirmed orgy is something in the neighborhood of 300+ sentients, and that was in a planet that engages in psychic sex -- THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN BEAT THAT, ALL RIGHT?

Chris hires a hipster manny for his son Nicky.

Penny racks her brain for the next twenty miles, trying to think of a subtle way to bring up the topic of meeting your time-traveling future self, or being sent on a mission to avert an apocalypse-related death. Finally she tells herself, "Forget it, Penny, it's Nerdtown." Sheldon and Leonard have weirder conversations six times a day. Sometimes before breakfast. Sometimes over Twitter.

"Just don't get into trouble while we're gone."

"Oh my God," Raj says. "Leonard's mother was right."

He begs for it, at the end of his long life, begs for the mark of the one truth that still eludes him, the one idea that still gives him any hope.

History has a funny way of repeating itself. A really, really funny way of repeating itself.

And he certainly couldn't get Cobb to help him out. Cobb was the master of purple prose. Everyone bowed down to him on his purple prose throne. The only pairing he wrote was him/Mal with the occasional him/Saito - but that was no surprise, since everyone shipped themselves with Saito.

Sometimes, a geeky fanboy has to do what a geeky fanboy has to do.

"Saito? Did you buy the kink meme?"

"Right here, right now? I want to stop you from cancelling Firefly."

There's a pause, and Alec tries to think of something smartass to say, but he's got nothin'. S.H.I.E.L.D. It's like the frickin' Death Star, and not the one with the whoops-blow-up button, but the fully armed and operational battle station. He swallows.

Hardison tries to impart his wisdom on Parker and Eliot with little effect.