Harvey wishes he could attribute it all to his Slytherin cunning, but the truth is, it's mostly a combination of Ross's family heritage, coincidence, and pure luck that leads to their first meeting on the Hogwarts Express. (Or, Mike is a Veela, and Harvey defends him from his adoring masses.)

"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said.

"Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

Arthur and Eames adopt a kid and raise that kid into Neal Caffrey.

"He predates S.H.I.E.L.D. Everything we know about him are stories of legends."

"Brad Colbert, Christ-Killer."

"Ainsley Seaborn, Blond Republican Sex Kitten," Ainsley said, deadpan. She took his offered hand firmly.

There's no such thing as an origin, only an origin-story.

By the time he had teamed up with the one that looked like a very young Tristan, and the one that looked like Bedevere, if Bedevere had been a changeling, or, at least, vaguely fey, he still had not found Merlin.

The day the McKays moved into Eureka Jack got approximately a dozen phone calls from Fargo, who was hiding under a desk in his office at Global Dynamics.

"Do you know when I last saw Rodney McKay?" Fargo whispered through the telephone line. "I last saw Rodney McKay when he was threatening to kill me using a protractor during a seminar he was leading in graduate school! This was before he started to lose his hair! Can you just imagine what a safety threat he is by now?"

Lestrade has apparently arrested an American billionaire for murder.

Charles and his BFF Tony Stark have the life - they're co-valedictorians at the most prestigious high school in the city, they have their own condo in Manhattan, and they get to go to all the awesome parties. Charles just wished he understood relationships and sex as well as Tony does. His theoretical bisexuality starts to feel a lot less theoretical when he and Tony end up in Professor Lehnsherr's Physics III course at Columbia University, but Charles' decision to take their relationship further leaves both student and professor with more than they bargained for. Features an enthusiastically-consenting!16-year-old!Charles.

In a world without stars, the Last Centurion loses the Pandorica, loses his charge and loses his mind.

SHIELD takes a chance on hiring a mysterious amnesiac man, and Agent Coulson finds that Rory Williams is the best damn secretary he's ever had.

Charles liked to tell people that the first time they met, Serik punched a kitten. (Or, the one where Erik is an angry Vulcan, Charles is still a telepath, and grief still shapes their lives.)

Harvey Specter wasn't the rich renegade badass that plucked Mike from his potential life of crime.

Tony Stark was.

Single-breasted, high-gorge notched lapel, three-button, double-vented, with jetted pockets. And that's just the jacket.

Dueling shouldn't be humorous - particularly when the other person involved in the duel is a dark wizard. A pitched battle, involving several dark wizards ambushing just a few members of the Order should be even less so. And John believes that, up until he sees Sherlock and Sirius fighting at the same time.

As it turns out they never stop competing.

“Expecto Patronum,” he says, in a clear, deep voice, and a thin silver light streams from his wand, expanding to take the form of -

“Huh,” John says, as Sherlock drives the Dementors back.

"Come on," John said, "You can't tell me no one's ever thought to try that."

“Get up, John,” Sherlock says, in a tone that has John jerking upright in bed, immediately, and grappling for his gun in his bedside drawer, even as he says, “Sherlock, what is it?”

Incomprehensibly, Sherlock simply says, “Voldemort.”

Rambaldi's promises of immortality mean nothing to vampires ... but Josef's always had a penchant for collecting shiny things.

Wherein Mike is Merlin reincarnated, Harvey is Arthur, everybody else is everybody else, and they fall in love. Again.

"I do believe the two of you were in the same year as boys, were you not?" Headmaster Shaw said. "Charles is the most competent deputy any headmaster could ask for, Erik, and he's been doing this for years…" He trailed off, as if finally noticing something odd in the way his Potions and Divination masters were staring at each other.

"Of course," Charles said quickly, his voice only a little hoarse, and stuck out his hand. "Welcome back to Hogwarts, Erik."

“Someone really should put up a warning on the city website,” someone says from high above. Raven cranes her neck and, of course, there’s Erik, crouching on top of the lamp post like he is the goddamned Batman. “Do not approach. Slayer on the prowl.”

Prompt: Starfleet!AU - Human!Erik thinks Charles is the worst Vulcan ever. In which Erik is distressed by a Vulcan shaking hands with him and then very blatantly inviting him to *cough* observe his nocturnal habits.

"I'll have my wallet back. Nice form, but points off for hitting the one and only mark in this crowd that can recognize the art." Eames holds out his hand and Rusty smiles wide wide like the sky opening up after a storm. Eames narrows his eyes. He knows a pro when he is nearly sexually assaulted by one on a street corner.


"Rusty." He wipes salt and oil off his fingers onto a linen handkerchief and sticks his hand out.

When the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit visits, Pearson Hardman falls into a frenzy. Donna and Garcia are goddesses, Reid and Mike form an awkward friendship, and Hotch's profile of Harvey confirms his already evident awesomeness. Oh, there's also a serial killer on the loose, but we'll get to that eventually.

Charles, a miner from a poor village in the countryside, saves the life of Erik Lehnsherr, scion of a successful business family and the richest man on Eisen. Charles is a telepath and somewhat anxious about it, while Erik abstains from relationships because the lights flicker and doors open and electronics vibrate when he gets too excited.

Also features a long-suffering sister, a foul-mouthed bodyguard, and a best friend with a heart that is definitely not gold.

In which there are princes, spaceships, long journeys, and old secrets uncovered. (An AU sci-fi fairytale)

The story of daemons, and intercision, and souls, and how a ridiculously soft, trusting, naive telepath named Charles had an eagle daemon, and how an idiotic, stupidly fearless martyr named Erik had a tiger, and how the world feared them for it.

“Raven,” Siri whispers, and the moonlight streams silver onto his scales. He’s a chameleon, a rabbit, a fluttering bird, landing on her shoulder and digging with tiny claws. “Raven, someone’s coming.”

Or, X-Men: First Class with daemons.

The new Muggle Prime Minister meets the Minister for Magic.

X-Men AU, Good Omens-style, with Charles as Aziraphale, Erik as Crowley, Jean as the Antichrist, and Raven as a badass motherfucker.

Gotham is Eames's primary US base of operations.

That sums the city up perfectly.

"Armageddon": An experience most seasoned hitchhikers say it's better not to be around for.

They're both less innocent than they were a thousand years ago; less trusting, more broken. This time, Merlin is the one who gets called on his behaviour – and it's true, he thinks ruefully, he'd stopped bothering to learn the names of those around him long ago – and Arthur is the one who refuses to leave anyone behind. This time, Merlin is the one saying words like "idiot" and "moron," and Arthur has the stupid ears.

This is a trick.

"My name is Nick Fury," he tells Raven. "And I'm here to talk to you about Cain Marko."

XMFC/Inception fusion AU. Erik is an extractor, Alex is his point man. They're assembling a team to go after the most dangerous mind in dreamsharing: Sebastian Shaw. But unless Alex and the team can keep him in check, Erik's desire for vengeance might just rip the whole job apart around them -- and then there's the shade that haunts his dreams...

“Oh, look! It’s Charles, and he’s been transformed into a cat by a malevolent government program! I wonder how I can change him back and thereby secure his love forever and ever, amen?”

John is Arthur's older brother. They don't see each other very often, but they get along well enough. And they're always going to be brothers.

"I'll come bail you out," Arthur tells Eames loudly before hanging up, just to make his date splutter and start to wave down the waiter for the bill.

Tony Stark is interested in Charles. Erik is not amused.

"Hast thou slain the Jabberwock?"

After the events of 'Midnight,' The Doctor meets with one of the tourists who is not quite what he appears to be.

Anhora was really in no mood for a game of Poker. But it was a Thursday. And Thursdays were Poker Nights. The firewhiskey was in, nibbles were on the table, and as usual the other two were late. He knew that when they arrived there would be the usual excuses. "Death-Eaters got into the school," or "I had to help destroy the One Ring." There was always something with those two. Like being Keeper of the Unicorns was less important than either of their jobs.

Mr and Mrs Burton were your average Wizarding couple, married for 3 years, and hoping for children. Needless to say, they weren’t expecting to be called into Hogwarts by Albus Dumbledore, only to be told that Mrs Burton was carrying Merlin, father of Magic.

Jack finds a hand.

"Did the Mayor send you? Just deliver your message and get out."

Impersonating a cleric, Jack, weren't you even listening to the reasons they're going to kill you? And anyway, after you pretended to marry them you took the bride off for a quiet word and seduced her.

"I was pressed for time, and had to come up with something, you know how it is," Vader said, circling round him slowly.

Merlin was going to kill Arthur for putting his name in the Goblet of Fire.

On their fifth day out from Tintagel, they find Tristan and Iseult.

"We've just found out that the greatest wizard in history is a gigantic bum-burglar. And he's a tart. He came on to us."

The problem with being the son of Uther Pendragon, legend of stage and screen, winner of Emmys (twice), Tonys (once), Oliviers (multiple), BAFTAs (twice), Oscars (once) and People's Sexiest Man (twice) was that nobody was ever going to take Arthur seriously as an actor in his own right. If Arthur stayed in London, his success was always going to be down to nepotism, name recognition or latent star fucking. At least this was the excuse Arthur gave Merlin when he packed his bags three weeks before he was to finish his Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts course and moved to Los Angeles.

In his first trip to Cardiff in over two centuries Merlin was hit by the undeniable sense of Arthur having been reborn nearly as soon as he stepped off the train from London.

Arthur thinks Jack is kind of a giant prat, really.

We’re secondary characters in a children’s fantasy series. Remus doesn’t like the name but we’re calling this little group PISSA. Means Popular and Ill-treated Slash Ships Anonymous.

The brochure boasted about was the time when everything changed: Cardiff twenty-first century. All Jethro saw was humans and cars, pavement and glass, and boring, boring water.

The Doctor and his companion go back in time. What could possibly go wrong?

Sam and Dean have an unexpected encounter at the Renaissance Faire.

They’re both suffering from Post Traumatic Stress disorder and therefore getting drunk and playing around with sensitive conversation topics is a fucking stupid idea.

There are many untrue stories about Camelot. This is another one.

Immortality is dull. This is the first thing Merlin learned about it - you can mope for a hundred years about your lost lover in the woods, you can have wild sex with seven bards and tell them naughty things about said lost lover, you can write a book and build a castle and set up and then destroy six small monarchies. But you'll get bored eventually. You can settle in the same village with a cat for six hundred years (it's a very special cat), and you can yell at Morgana for as long as you damn well please. You can pine and you can drink. But it all gets boring in the end.

He also thinks it's a little odd that they don't have any fabric bolts, or any sample garments with them, but perhaps that's the way with royal tailors. Merlin wouldn't know.

It started when Tennant went on that talk show and they told him about pornographic fan-fiction, which gobsmacked him so thoroughly that he mentioned it to John because pain shared is pain lessened. And John admitted with absolutely no shame at all that of course he knew about it, because hello, free gay porn starring himself. What's not to love?

Let’s go, lots more to see. That was an example of one of our support groups, of course. Werewolves. Terrible, terrible, especially living in crowded populations like those three, pain on the nose, from what I hear.

The wave from 'Unseen University' had been somewhat alarming, Mal had to admit. After all, it wasn’t every day one encountered an orangutan capable of operating this kind of communications technology.

Jim's been taking fencing lessons from Sulu for over a month when Arthur Pendragon comes on board.

As it turns out, the "citizen" is one Merlin Emrys, a former Lance Corporal for the Independents and a wanted criminal.

What the fuck, Merlin thought in utter shock, staring at Uther--Uther--across a rich mahogany desk in rural Suffolk, fate was like a bad Hollywood remake, then?

So what's a Christian ghost dragon doing under a hill in Glywysing?

Everything's better with pirates. Including Camelot.

"If I enable your uncalled for territorial masculine paranoia, do you promise not to bother me at work for a month?"

"Miss Tam," he says, and he is polite though his face is radiating excitement when she turns and he sees-- yes-- she cannot be more than fourteen or fifteen. "Excuse me, but I am very interested to know-- how is it you are coming to be in this class?" Her face doesn't change, though surprise and interest flicker in her eyes, and he adds quickly, "They told me I was the youngest one here."

"Do people actually buy that line from you?"

While it is highly improbable, due to fundamental gravitational interactions, for a stable planetary body to take the shape of a finite convex disc rather than the more common oblate spheroid, it is not physically impossible for the accretionary process to create--

Seven times the crew of the Enterprise meet the Endless.

Cool. Oh - my name's Faith, by the way. I'm a vampire slayer. Or maybe The Vampire Slayer in this universe. Since we're being all honest and shit.

"There's never any glory in dying," says the girl, and she sounds surprisingly sober. "People get that wrong. Glory's more my jurisdiction." She shrugs, and snuggles up next to him with her back to the boulder and her arm looped through his. "Well – and my brother's. Mostly his."

In which Captain Malcolm Reynolds, formerly of His Majesty's Navy, finds himself with a stowaway aboard the sailing vessel "Serenity."

It's not the first time he's been a woman—after the first few dozen lifetimes Merlin stop caring which body he woke up in, and he rather likes this one. He's not married to the identity—never really has been, but when the Cold War heats up and Arthur is nowhere to be found, Merlin says, fuck it. She joins MI-5. Is 00 before any other woman before, and picks the code name M.

A Merlin-Supernatural Fusion. After a bitter parting and four years of silence, Merlin is contacted by Arthur to help find Uther, who has disappeared on the trail of Nimueh. Merlin is drawn back into the hunt, criss-crossing Britain in a vintage Jag with Arthur at his side, tracking ghosts, spirits, fantastic beasts, and Nimueh, the being responsible for the deaths of Ygraine and Hunith, years before. As well as the hunt, they must deal with their own relationship, and Merlin's special gifts that have begun to re-emerge.