Harvey wishes he could attribute it all to his Slytherin cunning, but the truth is, it's mostly a combination of Ross's family heritage, coincidence, and pure luck that leads to their first meeting on the Hogwarts Express. (Or, Mike is a Veela, and Harvey defends him from his adoring masses.)

“The world is not your playground, Stark!” Fury yells at him one time, after he maybe brings down a building or two and Tony just laughs because, seriously, yes it is.

Neal's head of the Caffrey family business now but he always feels more like a Burke than anything else.

Movie Ending AU. Erik is merciless after Shaw is dead, taking out Moira and sending the missiles back at the ships that fired them. Charles refuses to join him and they go their separate ways, but he keeps getting in the way and Erik can't allow him to interfere with his plans. More importantly, he can't allow Charles to be hurt.

Political crisis managers AU. Arthur and Eames are operatives for rival presidential campaigns in a heated Democratic primary. Can they find love and happiness in spite of all the pies, Republicans, and publicity disasters in their way? Even in the face of the dreaded ELECTORAL COLLEGE SYSTEM? I DON'T KNOW! LET'S FIND OUT!

Still, the wisdom of leaving a family to a man named Dom Cobb was questionable. The phrase "Don Cobb" didn't exactly roll off the tongue, and "Don Dom" was even worse. "Don Dom Cobb". A travesty.

In deserts, wheat fields, and rose gardens, Eames finds Arthur and shakes off the remnants of war. AU, very vaguely based on The Little Prince.

"It's a shame we had to meet like this." She blasts his kneecaps, and then lays a volley into his gut. He's still screaming in pain when Dom finally puts him out of his misery with a quick bullet to the head.

In which Arthur's biology hates him (and the feeling's mutual), Eames' patience is sorely tried indeed, and the future of the educational system is on the line.

They're paired by their music teacher for their final assessment, a Battle of the Bands-style playoff. Unfortunately, she doesn't know that a bit of high school drama went down at term-break. She doesn't know what this one song she's making them play might mean to both of them.

"I'm looking for a good bra," she smiles again, "I'm sure you hear that every day."

Charles is a magician. Erik is his demon.

Erik is a demon. Charles is his magician.

Together they're going to turn society upside-down.

Rodney McKay is rich, gorgeous and at the top of his game—except someone just moved the goalposts! Now Rodney realizes he is sorely lacking the one status symbol that everybody seems to have…the perfect family. Rodney needs help, so he hires a relationship coach. Single-dad John Sheppard may be an expert, but not when it comes to his own relationships! And every day he spends with Rodney makes him wish that he could be the one to fill the vacancy in Rodney's life.

"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said.

"Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

"You take me to the nicest places, McKay."

When Brad's ex-wife dies and Brad and Nate find themselves in charge of Brad's three sons, things get complicated.

Ariadne needs a vacation. So does Arthur, but he doesn't know it yet.

Most people, when they break up, sort through their record collections, possibly chuck each other’s clothes onto the sidewalk, engage in soul-destroying coffee dates where they try to sort through the emotional debris, and then leave each other the fuck alone.

Clint and Natasha were never very good at acting like normal people, though, which is why they run a cafe together.

Arthur and Eames adopt a kid and raise that kid into Neal Caffrey.

Pre-canon AU. What if Spike stumbled across Angelus just before he fled China? A peek at how their lives would have been different.

Merlin was looking for something uncomplicated. Arthur was just looking to get paid. Neither of them expected to find the other.

“You don’t appreciate my natural-born talent,” Arthur said mournfully. “I suppose I will just have to remind you of how spectacular I really am.”

Arthur needs a date for Gwen's wedding. The rest is history.

This time, Arthur has a secret.

Morgause teaches Arthur about himself.

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can't keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn't good enough, either. Except he is.

Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.

It might be difficult to seduce someone when you want to climb their boyfriend like a tree. Merlin learns this the hard way when Uther mistakes him for someone who knows how to seduce anyone at all.

In which Brad is a desperately self-sacrificing HRH, Nate is not happy about being blind-sided, Ray wants to kill the Swedish press corps, and Walt is present in the background like a good bodyguard.

“This,” call-me-Gaius thunders, “is Mr. Morgan. He’ll be preparing you for Oxbridge applications, and I trust that you will treat him with the respect he deserves.” He is pointedly looking straight at Arthur as he says it.

Arthur only ever works with Dominic Cobb.

Clint Barton is a) seventeen, b) only slightly addicted to porn and c) infatuated with Phil Coulson.

In 1969, Erik is having trouble dealing with Charles' rapidly increasing powers as a telepath. His daughter seems to be acquiring those powers too. When Raven returns with shocking news of her own, the delicate balance Erik's maintaining seems likely to crumble.

But it's something else entirely that turns his world upside down ...

It’s the oldest trick in the book. It’s a fucking cliche, emphasis on fucking. It’s been done by every dicksuck James Bond wannabe and perpetually repeated by every new agent who doesn’t know shit. It never works.

“Did you serve in Afghanistan or Iraq?” the man clarifies, steepling his fingers under his chin so that he looks like he’s praying for patience, and John reminds himself that he only has to attend six obligatory sessions with a psychiatrist.

This was not a normal day. This day existed to prove that hell was real and it came with musical accompaniment by will.i.am. On this day, Steve figured out how to get him out of the office and torment him at the same time by sending him to the godforsaken DNC where it was all 'we shall overcome,' oh-happy-day bullshit.

Armando's just happy he can waste his time in fandom instead of fighting for mutant rights.

Anthony Stark, degenerate genius and impoverished nobleman, finds himself wedded to the painfully proper Steven Rogers. Will their marriage prove intolerable to the both of them, or will they find a happy equilibrium, instead?

Brad meets a Nate on his first day at the new school. It's a beginning.

“The others are running late?” he asks and Brad blinks at him slowly, because he doesn’t think he actually knows this guy. It’s true, he doesn’t remember everyone he has classes with, but he’s pretty damn sure he’d know if he made lunch arrangements.

And while some people simply have no sense of decorum (Ray) or refuse to acknowledge all the hard work Brad puts into seeming as unapproachable as humanly possible (Ray) to save himself from idiots (also Ray), this one looks like he attends Sunday school and says all the thank yous and pleases in the right places.

What he doesn’t look is confused, at least not until Brad stares at him.

Brad Colbert and Nate Fick had met on the set of a now cancelled sci-fi show, years ago. Now, Hollywood turns out to be a small town after all, and it’s hard to avoid someone you broke up with. Especially when you both sign up for the same movie.

Their sophomore year the whole school was suddenly bursting with gossip, the scuttlebutt having Nate caught on a steamy make-out session with Rick Sykes. Rick protested a great deal, maintained he was drunk or stoned or temporarily insane, and then he transferred to another school. Nate laughed when asked, rolled his eyes at the occasional spiteful comment, and then went and joined the cheerleading squad and started volunteering with the homecoming committee.

Few weeks later he dated the homecoming queen for a while and she was gushing about him to everyone who wanted to listen and to a few who didn't.

The entire school quietly wondered what the fuck.

"Bisexuality, look it up," Nate advised Ray earnestly, not a hint of mocking in his voice or on his face, just the helpful smile, like he was ready to lend Ray his dictionary.

Nine months after the end of events in Half Past the Point of Oblivion, Brad gets word he's being deployed. Arrangements must be made and goodbyes said, when a warrior goes off to war.

It's one week before the wedding and Arthur isn't nervous at all. But that's just the beginning.

Brad's pretty sure it would have gone diferently if he had actually seen Nate's movies.

The Vulcans thought that humans in space, unsupervised, would be too much for the galaxy to handle. And that was before Jim Kirk came along.

Replay is the story of how after Magneto of an X2-ish future succeeds in the unthinkable, Charles sends his consciousness back to 1962 to guide Erik away from the path that will lead to the genocide of the human race forty years hence. Charles knows Erik has always loved him, and intends to accomplish his goal through a totally bulletproof plan involving lots of sex. But there's something Charles doesn't know, and he's in over his head from the start....

Erik's side of the story is a little different.

"You can't make a sub the military commander of Atlantis," Ford said.

“I think they’re re-running our movie on the Genovian first channel.”

“The Disney one or the documentary one?”

“Disney,” Nate says, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Damn him. He knows damn well Brad can’t resist the Disney one, they’ve made Ray into a girl and gave Grandfather a Russian accent. It’s fantastic.

“I’ll get the remote.”

“You know,” Nate says, settling against the pillows. “If nothing else, we’re the reason Disney made a gay movie.”

Brad supposes that complaining about having too good a boyfriend wouldn’t win him any support from anyone.

Darcy has a mom who used to be a showgirl in Vegas and a dad who is a financial advisor in Santa Fe. She also has a Tony.

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing.

(Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

"Brad Colbert, Christ-Killer."

"Ainsley Seaborn, Blond Republican Sex Kitten," Ainsley said, deadpan. She took his offered hand firmly.

Erik befriends the ghost in his house. And then decides to expose his murderer.

Groundhog Day AU. Brad Colbert wakes up and it's the same day over and over again.

Four days and two phone calls later, Ray is at Recon for an audition. Nate had called it a screen test, like hiring Ray was a done deal. But Ray knows that no matter what Nate thinks, Brad still needs to be convinced.

Brad’s plans for the Friday night included: pizza, working on his bike in Doc’s garage, listening to Ray’s band butcher whatever song they’re working on and listening to Ray’s rant on modern music, radio fascists who block his career, and how Brad never listens to him at all.

Also planned: trying not to kill Ray. It’s a constant struggle.

What he did not plan at all was to learn that, apparently, he was the sole heir to the Genovian throne. As you do.

He'd been living like this long enough to know what being scared felt like, and yet this wasn't like any of that. Rodney hadn't wanted to know so that he could hurt John or laugh at him or pigeon hole him as the bratty rich boy. He'd wanted to know John, and John knew that if he could keep from running, he might finally be free.

Nate's car breaks down in front of Brad's vineyard.

Not that Poke's complaining, but he's never, ever again playing a motherfucking yenta to anyone on his team. Or anyone ever again. Sure, the mental soap opera was driving him nuts, but this is worse, this time the stray sexual thoughts coming from certain retards are real, and it's a hell lot more than he had ever wanted to know.

Poke's quite good at cutting off the stream of people's thoughts, but every once in a while something gets through and it's going to put him in therapy for years. No one should be exposed to fucking Iceman's rhapsodizing on LT's eyes. Or his dick. Poke's not sure which one is worse – the cheese or the porn.

Ray stops and reconsiders. There are at least four telepaths on the base, that he knows of, and he has been repeatedly told his thoughts are disruptive and inappropriate for the workplace.

He says, fuck them, it's probably the only time the goat-fucking nutjobs get to have any fun in here, Ray is doing them a huge favor and should be rewarded.

Nate is a vampire, but this war is making him feel more human than ever.

Brad and Nate are models. They fall in love.

“John Sheppard had a son? And he plays the violin too? What is he, a masochist?”

Rodney McKay is a maligned scientist, kicked out of his cushy post at a leading university. When no other school will hire him, he falls back on his high school hobby--inventing simple items to help around the house. The problem is, his abrasive personality makes selling his brilliant inventions hard. Enter John Sheppard, king of late night infomercials. John's sure his good looks and charm can help sell Rodney's products, but first they'll have to sell John to Rodney...

Nate Fick wasn’t always a Marine and he won’t always be one.

Things proceed a little different than planned for the Expedition when they find the city of the Ancients already somewhat occupied. By mermaids. Rodney especially doesn't expect one of those mermaids (mermen?) to fixate on him of all people.

In an alternate universe where John Sheppard is a science fiction writer, he's getting his ass kicked by writer's block and moves to a small town in Maine for a fresh start in the form of one Rodney McKay, who as it turns out is more than meets the eye.

John is a photographer, Rodney is a chef and food stylist.

This is fic in which RODNEY IS A UNICORN AND JOHN IS A RAINBOW.

Rodney buys a magical lamp.

Sil shrugged and tapped on the readout screen. "This is a tagged government ship. The broadcast is clear, the designation is on the list. It's the Aurora."

04-877-57-7G was sixteen when he was finally transferred to his owner.

"Are you kidding? This is the hottest thing that's ever happened to me."

This is an AU featuring Rodney McKay as a U.C. Berkeley physics professor who absolutely cannot stand the new faculty hire, John Sheppard.

“It’s easy for you to say things are fine when you’ve got Nate’s hand on your dick. We’re still waiting for Walt,” Ray says. “And, you know, the 65 million dollars in jewelry.”

Erik runs a kosher bakery. Charles comes in for baked goods. They play chess, eat meringues, people drop other people's keys down the toilet, and there's mutant performance art.

Brad's maybe not the best at handling his feelings, but he's got good biceps.

John knows what's his - of course he'll kill for it.

Erik doesn't believe in mermaids.

And then he meets Charles.