Steve is adapting well to the new millennium, and he has the dictionary to prove it.

“Seriously. All that Twenty Ways to Please Your Man stuff? I mean, a) all the actual women of our acquaintance,” he nods at Natasha, “will tell you that’s it’s sexist bullshit, feeding the male hegemony, denying the importance of female pleasure and seriously, get Pepper even halfway drunk and ask her about this because she has a lecture prepared, I swear to God. Anyway b) sex is not that complicated.”

At age fifteen, Steve Rogers had been in love with Tony Stark.

By age twenty, he’d (mostly) gotten over it. And then he promptly became Tony Stark's fuck buddy.

The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up.

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

Where it was Nick Fury's idea, but he didn't mean it like that.

Steve wakes up in the 21st Century. He doesn't think much of it, and it's dubious about him. He meets a Norse God, joins a superhero team, and feels terribly awkward about the whole momument at Arlington he's rendered obsolete by not being dead. Meanwhile, Tony is trying to make his mark on history by being the man who finally drove Nick Fury over the edge.

Naked might actually have been slightly less distracting. Tony was… almost wearing… a tiny, tight scrap of red fabric that most definitely didn't hide anything.

Note: Written for cap_ironman's Alphabet Challenge. The dissolving-armor-reveals-red-thong scenario is in fact the canonical way that the Avengers discovered Iron Man's identity, because every once in a great while, Marvel actually does love us.

His best friend keeps cockblocking him, his relationship guru is a computer, and he might be gay. The future is very complicated.

Bucky doesn't sleep that night, not for hours, staring at the long line of Steve's back and the numbers that he can see clear through the fabric of Steve's thin white t-shirt, 35-276-909, in Howard Stark's neat, precise handwriting, and Bucky thinks of all the nights before, the nights where he lay awake, and learned, and learned, and learned, and how he doesn't have to learn anymore, and Steve rubs at his face in his sleep and Bucky whispers, "Seventy years, and I still got no idea what's in that head of yours, sometimes, pal."

“I can hear you,” Steve blurts, “in the shower. In the mornings. I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner, I just didn’t want to...and then you...and there were always...um. Sorry.”

Tony is the only one who can defend Steve's virtue. Tony hates his life.

After an unexpected attack, Tony has trouble dealing with his injuries and Steve has trouble dealing with Tony.