In which Erik is the son of servants, Charles is the son of aristocrats, and hedgehogs make repeated appearances. -- Modern AU that is clearly inspired by Atonement (minus most of the angst, that is).

A modern day AU that delivers three well-worn tropes (university, strippers, businessmen) for the price of one. Consider this your warning.

>> When Merlin finished his A-levels, financing university by taking his clothes off didn't exactly occur to him. <<

In which it's 1964, Camelot is an advertising agency with a budget problem, Merlin is a copywriter who loves to twist, and Arthur is a junior partner who loves to shout. More or less.

The first thing John could remember was learning how to hold his breath. There were six major requirements for working with marine mammals at Sea World, and he’d been able to list all of them since age five.

"Arthur, you're about to be deported."

"Fairly everyday stuff. If it's too mundane, I'll completely understand if you're not interested."

If he wasn't interested? Erik gave him a blank look, and the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself: "you did see my record, right?"

"Oh yes, that," Xavier said vaguely. "I did. Metal, isn't it? I suppose that's why you were touching that gate. Can't imagine it myself, having my own abilities restrained."

"Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush here. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders in addition to training and experience. I'm calling to offer you a job as Eames' fulltime bodyguard for his upcoming summer tour."

AU: Rodney's in the Canadian Air Force. He likes cats. John's an aerospace engineer. He wants kids. There is no Atlantis, but there is sushi, Captain Underpants, the end of the world, and the flagrant misuse of alien technology.

When John had RSVP’d his invite to Ronon and Amelia’s wedding, he’d signed it John and Nancy Sheppard. When Rodney RSVP’d to Ronon, there had been no other name on the card.

Eames runs a porn studio, and has a very inconvenient crush on their newest bottom.

He still couldn't believe it, that he'd done it. He could start paying off his loans. He could get his mom decent health insurance, finally. Starting Monday, he was an associate at Cobb and Ellis and he was going to get paychecks for being a geek about contracts and procedure – and not like the pay he'd gotten for the shitty jobs he'd had ever since he was ten years old but real money. Serious money.

Arthur is Merlin's tech support at work.

In which Merlin is the most harangued PA in Westminister, Arthur is on the back of the backbench, Uther harasses Merlin (though the Queen never does), Morgana is very clever, and the datebook will take its revenge.

Arthur's yowl of pain was followed rapidly by an attempt to peel the soiled, Armani shirt away from his chest before it burned itself into his skin. "You…You idiot!" he roared, frantically checking his Excalibur to make sure it had miraculously survived the moron's bumbling thoughtlessness.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a young son must be in want of a nanny.

The next year in the Pendragon household, in which Merlin is no longer a nanny, Arthur is still a prat but a loveable one, Gaius saves the day and Uther does nothing.

There’s a photograph of Arthur throwing his copy of Superman onto the bonfire; headlines screaming 'Ten Thousand Comic Books Burned,' news cuttings pasted into albums his father won’t look at but is proud of nonetheless.

Wherein Arthur is not the rich boss, and Merlin is not the assistant.

He vaguely remembered Merlin not having a visa when he started- something about his grandparents and parents being citizens. Which made Merlin a citizen. And if Arthur were to get his papers some other way—say, by marrying a citizen—he’d be able to stay in the country and keep the company out of Valiant’s grubby little hands.

They kissed like it was no surprise; like it had been leading up to this all along, like taking one step forward and two steps back was an intricate dance and not the end of their relationship, like they were always going to end up with their hands clasped when the music stopped.

In his rational mind, Rodney knew that following a girl who'd just dumped you into a strip club was really, really pathetic.

But so was going to your little sister's wedding without a date.

Science was his mistress, yes, but it was hardly one Rodney could put into a turquoise mermaid dress and parade around skeptical and shocked family members who had been taking bets on whether Rodney was asexual, gay, or more attracted to theoretical physics than other organic matter.

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't.

Chris hires a hipster manny for his son Nicky.

In another universe, Peter Burke went corporate. He wouldn't have met Neal Caffrey -- except Neal tried to rob his company. And Peter, naturally, caught him.