“This,” call-me-Gaius thunders, “is Mr. Morgan. He’ll be preparing you for Oxbridge applications, and I trust that you will treat him with the respect he deserves.” He is pointedly looking straight at Arthur as he says it.

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

A child psychologist is asked to sit in on the questioning of her client, a nine-year old boy, traumatised by finding his father stabbed to death. The child's mother is being held for the murder and the case against her looks water-tight, unless her son can be persuaded to tell what he knows. But the only way to communicate with the traumatised child is through his great obsession, chess, and only one detective speaks chess fluently enough to understand what he has to say.

Every single day, the same position,
Fighting for supremacy.

So then, because he’s Hardison, he created a fandom.

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar.

As Eames turns to lead them around the building Arthur catches his hand. Eames doesn't flinch away or look down. Arthur taps in Morse code against Eames's palm.

SITREP

Eames taps back FUBAR.

Arthur found himself staring deeply into Eames' eyes, which were very serious. "Don't worry," Eames assured him, "I'm a level eighty-five ret paladin."

“The real question, mister swifter-than-the-wind,” she asks him, “is do you prompt, or do you fill?”

Loki raises an eyebrow at the question and, oh god, she’s in high school. This is high school all over again, and guys as hot as Loki don’t want the girl who wears glasses and has dumb hair. This is just like high school, except with more potential to get murdered.

But Loki seems pleased to ignore her minor breakdown in favour of leaning in and grinning, “Ms Lewis, I prompt and I fill.” The look in his eyes is just wicked.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Geek Chorus (A Bunch Of Very Nice Women [Mostly] Who Write Stories Set In Various Popular Fictional Worlds, With Lots Of Crazy Sex)
Delicious (A Website, Home To Many Cherished Links)
Sandy (A Representative For Diigo)
Maciej Cegłowski (A Pinboard Developer With A Keen Business Sense And A Somewhat Odd Yet Sort Of Endearing Epic Grudge Against Bedbugs)
Longtime Pinboard Users (A Demographic Largely Consisting Of Tech-Oriented Men)
The Monsterdoc (A GDoc That Could Seriously Fuck Your Shit Up)
The OCD!Anons (A Subset Of Fandom With A Lot Of Spare Time And A Fetish For Consistent Margins)
Johannes (Some Guy From The Internet)

Arthur is a BNF and Merlin is his prized beta.

Delicious just can't understand why it's the shy, quiet ones who get all the girls.

"Yeah! Him! Yeah, the kid, with the--" That same vague wave. "--magic...shit. Anyway, dude! So there're these people, right, on the internet, and they like--write shit. I mean, as in." He leans forward a bit, lowers his voice, "Erotic shit." A dramatic pause. "About the kid."

"Right here, right now? I want to stop you from cancelling Firefly."

There's a pause, and Alec tries to think of something smartass to say, but he's got nothin'. S.H.I.E.L.D. It's like the frickin' Death Star, and not the one with the whoops-blow-up button, but the fully armed and operational battle station. He swallows.

The first time Alec read a slash fic—Kirk/Spock, and it was one of the first fics he’d ever read, and he’d only scrolled down because he was curious and didn’t get the terminology yet, and daaaamn that was graphic—he backed out of the post fast.

Jim, I swear to fucking GOD. Is this shit you? IS THIS YOU? What the fuck are you planning? No, don't tell me. I can't bear to hear it. The universe record holder for largest confirmed orgy is something in the neighborhood of 300+ sentients, and that was in a planet that engages in psychic sex -- THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN BEAT THAT, ALL RIGHT?

Penny racks her brain for the next twenty miles, trying to think of a subtle way to bring up the topic of meeting your time-traveling future self, or being sent on a mission to avert an apocalypse-related death. Finally she tells herself, "Forget it, Penny, it's Nerdtown." Sheldon and Leonard have weirder conversations six times a day. Sometimes before breakfast. Sometimes over Twitter.

Hardison tries to impart his wisdom on Parker and Eliot with little effect.

"Unseen University, this is Jurisfiction. We will require your co-operation. Your premises have been compromised by--"

You have discovered the truth, Penny: I've never really met Leonard Nimoy.

Three days before they're due to start shooting series four, Colin Morgan comes out on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross.

What do you give a girl who has everything? Or at least, enough firepower to get it.

Arthur and Eames both play WoW. They kick ass at Warsong Gulch, and when they team up they’re nigh on unstoppable.

They don’t know they’re playing with each other.

He just conveniently left out the part where they were all going to have to fucking role play.

Star Wars.

Nobody wants to bring the shadow priest who has to stop melting faces in order to hack through a security system from afar, and "gotta go, my cat's on fire" only works so many times before people start asking "how many cats do you HAVE?" and "what are you DOING to those cats?"