Twitter
a thing i wanna get off my chest:

i work at a tech company. most of my friends work in tech. it is A Thing.

tec…
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yesterday
Twitter
Periodic PSA: When you write in to a thing to get help, or express displeasure, be decent and realize the person on…
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yesterday
Twitter
Removed my sick heiney from bed to go see a thing my kid was doing at school because she really, really wanted one…
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6 days ago
Twitter
Building a spaceship so he can get otter here!
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7 days ago
Twitter
Pournelle's Iron Law of Bureaucracy: In any bureaucracy the people devoted to the benefit of the bureaucracy itself…
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10 days ago
Twitter
My coworkers are jackholes.
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10 days ago
Twitter
[4 y.o., singing a song she made up]: That one's called "I Love Saturn." Maybe I'll do another space song...this on…
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13 days ago
Twitter
.: here’s my learning from this
me: your what?
b: my learning from this?
me: your hwat?
b: *exasperated* here’…
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17 days ago
(500) https://even.com/
I decided I need to work on something that lets me sleep at night. So, I'm working on now.
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17 days ago
Twitter
I've been assaulted. I've also been not assaulted. The difference didn't seem to be what I was wearing, how flirty…
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20 days ago
Twitter
why are so many young people flocking to brands on social media for love, guidance, and attention? I'll tell you wh…
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22 days ago
Twitter
I went to a school a lot like Georgetown Prep and I always imagined these kinds of morons would never amount to any…
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24 days ago
Twitter
(Jin, Sahni, & Shevat 2018)
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24 days ago
Twitter
List of things that weren’t so great last week:
• Missing my cat.
• Lyft drivers creepily asking if I’m single at 1…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
No, not knowing who the good guys are and who the bad guys are at a neo-Nazi rally is the "biggest ____ing mistake."
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Oh hey there, Portland. Whatchu got for me this time around? Other than coworking with some of my favorite remote S…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Last Tuesday morning, I was the victim of a hit and run on my bike. I fractured 7 vertebrae, broke 2 ribs, my left…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
Alright lovely people, it's time for a Friday afternoon 1:1. How long has it been since you've done a career check-…
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
OK, I'll say it: I think most people are bad at optimizing bread & butter

Most people could double their portion o…
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june 2018
Twitter
Today, we submitted the *full draft* of Designing Web APIs to ! So excited to share with you *everythi…
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april 2018
Twitter
World’s best participation trophy: 100 league nights with SFPD. That’s a lot of pinball!
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march 2018
Twitter
In other news, I am excited to announce that I have accepted an offer to join the devrel team! 👋

However,…
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march 2018
Twitter
This is your daily reminder that Barack Obama never needed to hire a lawyer in 8 years of his presidency.
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march 2018
Twitter
whenever Anthony and I do Bring me to life at karaoke it's so funny because non regulars get so stoked and regulars…
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march 2018
Twitter
Also OMG HAVE Y'ALL HEARD I'M SPEAKING AT OMG OMGOMGOMG
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march 2018
Twitter
Sometimes I feel sad and old like I'm trying too hard, then I look at my sweet family and the joy I feel with the p…
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march 2018
Twitter
Me, getting ready to walk the dog: I'll just put on some Emmylou Harris for few minutes.
Also me, 2 hours later, cr…
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march 2018
Twitter
We wrote a book today. Doozer has a commendably brusque attitude toward florid literary detail.
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march 2018
Twitter
Hey l’il tampon box, I know it might just be random glue spot placement, you look like you have trepidations. And,…
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march 2018
Twitter
This kid in Panera trying to give me the stink eye. You gonna lose this one kid. I've got RBF to start with, I will…
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march 2018
Twitter
Came home from a long day at work to a package of LED goodies on my doorstep. Immediately did a test run! Look at t…
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february 2018
Twitter
boom new glasses! with blue filter to help with computer headaches. 🤓💙

(I haven't had plastic frames since kiddo w…
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february 2018
Twitter
Get yourself a team that power poses with you in the kitchen before all hands
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february 2018
Twitter
Things just got real. Hello, . Thanks for having me.
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february 2018
Twitter
It blows my mind how little I see people getting insights from their support teams directly. They’re righ…
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february 2018
Twitter
And if you work in product, your job is to understand your customer and how to deliver value to them. Your customer…
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february 2018
Twitter
Wow. Look at all these countries that don't have any mentally ill people
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february 2018
Twitter
Oh what's this? Just some New and OG Earththones folks spending time over a welcome lunch, how lucky are we! Here's…
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february 2018
Twitter
Dear : I served on active duty in the US military to give people the right to clap when the Preside…
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february 2018
Twitter
Sunday night anxiety be like
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february 2018
Twitter
If you’ve taken a bunch of nighttime cold meds by mistake, I’d advise that you probably shouldn’t log in to Slack a…
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january 2018
Twitter
I cannot fathom why. I won’t even click on Brian’s link because I don’t want to give t…
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january 2018
Twitter
Just replied to a dating app message that I keep forgetting about and got an instant reply of "are you messaging ri…
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january 2018
Twitter
Look I hate for this to be the thing that compels me to break a perfectly pleasurable hiatus, but it is not a "new…
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january 2018
Twitter
Excuse me hello, but I feel like a large oversight has been perpetrated.

There is no Greek food truck or Greek yog…
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january 2018
Twitter
I wonder who defines "reasonable request." 🤔
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january 2018
Twitter
I am not quite ready to leave Argentina. These past 6 weeks have been magical. I've done so much, met so many wonde…
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december 2017
Twitter
I made a Dutch style apple pie ala Winkel 43 and now any other apple pie feels inadequate
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december 2017
Twitter
Dealing with surprising human emotions is one of the most challenging aspects of being a manager.

Understanding th…
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december 2017
Twitter
Robert Muller with rifle in Vietnam
Donald Trump with bowling trophy

Lots of criticism of Muller. Purple Heart, B…
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december 2017
Twitter
How on earth is “Oh really, just like a soap opera...bait and switch. Boring....” he…
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december 2017
Twitter
Come on down! Bring the family! Definitely don't bring Cindy.
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december 2017
Twitter
My mom thought Dr. Demento was too edgy for kids so I’d duck into my bedroom and record his Sunday night FM radio s…
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november 2017
Twitter
my aunt was being rude and making homophobic comments towards me about my girlfriend and then she said “pass the gr…
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november 2017
Twitter
Me, a genius at calendars and planning: I'll just nip into Whole Food for some cottage cheese and apples.
Also me,…
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november 2017
Twitter
I’m CRYIN!! Snoop really be the voice for all of us and how we feel 😂😂😂😂😂
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november 2017
Twitter
Doozer's dinnertime, unprompted
Me: "How's it going?"
: "He's making slow progress but…"
5-yr-old: "Or maybe…
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november 2017
Twitter
. how can I permanently ban someone from all channels I'm in due to they are the worst
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november 2017
Twitter
Ross Gay's "A Small Needful Fact" is one of the most beautifully terrible poems i've ever read. i return to it ofte…
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november 2017
Twitter
Now you get my "baby's first words" video again.
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october 2017
Twitter
and for our troubles we’re ignored and left unprotected, unheard, uncared for bec…
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october 2017
Twitter
you the flaws in your designs, your algorithms, your policies, your whole site. W…
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october 2017
Twitter
You sit here wondering how to build user engagement on this site right? But you i…
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october 2017
Twitter
Fixed it for you

"I left today's Colts game, as planned, at the request of POTUS, a draft dodger who makes fun of…
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october 2017
Twitter
Please meet Tori (calico) and Frisk (tiger), two very good girls who we adopted today ❤😻😻
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september 2017
Twitter
"What do we want!?"

*Honk honk*

"When do we want it?"

*Slide whistle*
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september 2017
Hi, I’m trans. – Ben Alpert
Really excited to share with all of you: I'm trans!

Today is a great day because I get to start being me. 💖
from twitter_favs
august 2017
Forbes Welcome
So honored to be named by as one of "The Top 5 Voices You Need To Follow."
eduawesome  edcamp  from twitter_favs
august 2017
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