Twitter
Speaking of uses of Slackbot
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yesterday
Twitter
I'm going to miss you most of all, Bootleg Absolute Unit Hashtag Logo.
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3 days ago
Twitter
Explaining marginal taxes to a far-right former Governor:

Imagine if you did chores for abuela & she gave you $10.…
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4 days ago
Twitter
Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not "one plus TWO plus one plus one."
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6 days ago
Twitter
12 years ago, 8 years ago, a few months ago. Getting happier.
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6 days ago
Twitter
What if Sutro was inside us all along and it was really abo…
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7 days ago
Twitter
Ten years ago today my daughter live-tweeted her own birth and she is the best thing that has ever happened to anyo…
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9 days ago
Twitter
According to the Bible, women can drive tent pegs through men's heads. (Judges 4:17-21)
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11 days ago
Twitter
There is not enough Scotch in the world (or any alcohol of any kind in the universe, or any alternate universe, eve…
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11 days ago
Twitter
Pretty sure one is not a CE agent unless one has been in the radius of th…
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16 days ago
Twitter
“Marriage is a lifelong commitment
to buy groceries for another person.”

—Luisa Muradyan
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16 days ago
Twitter
YOU GUYS I saw a TURTLE in the SEA and it was JUST HANGING OUT because it LIVED THERE because it was a SEA TURTLE.…
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21 days ago
Twitter
Anyway, the stars were beautiful and it’s really, really valuable to me that I’m able to live where I can get there…
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23 days ago
Twitter
1. Was swift as the coursing river with all the force of a great typhoon
2. Had all the strength of a raging fire
3…
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23 days ago
Twitter
If anyone has ever told you, patiently & kindly, that the best way to accomplish a big project is to break it down…
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25 days ago
Twitter
Also, hi to the people who really need an assistant but have no idea how to delegate things to an assistant and/or…
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25 days ago
Twitter
I tweet for the ones who are panicking that “you have so much potential!” is turning into “you *had* so much potent…
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25 days ago
Twitter
Hi this whole thread, but especially this tweet which I've argued earnestly many many times to my ever-patient ther…
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25 days ago
Twitter
Therapists: But you DO accomplish things?

Me: Yes?

Therapists: But...how?

Me: Oh, that’s easy, I have enough raw…
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25 days ago
Twitter
My poor therapists (all): Have you tried to-do lists?

Me: Yes! I love making them, but I constantly forget to che…
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25 days ago
Twitter
Dear Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen: Migrants do face many dangers. Dying in your agency's custody should not b…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
did... did a wall write this?
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
After 16 days, 15 hours, 46 minutes and over 2100 nm at sea, it’s now time to touch land again and declare complete…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
omg

q: it's 10:30 do you know where your judgy friends are?
a: yes, she's on twttr dragging me for asking about c…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Overjoyed to join and have the opportunity to learn from great investors and founders. I’ll be lookin…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Props. Also who is this man and why is he my twin?
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Fixed a bug today that had been making me feel like a goddamned fraud for the past 36 hours.

Sometimes code is lik…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
My new requirement is that if my kid wants to download a new app, she has to write a one page report on the founder…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
can't believe I've done anything at all for 4 years. shout out to slack for staying good and also not firing me
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
👋🇮🇹🛫
🛬🇺🇸👋

What a trip! Filled with fun adventures, delicious food, the kindest people, and more gorgeous medieval…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
On this day two years ago my mom died. The past couple weeks leading up to today have been hard but I've kept my sh…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
All of my childhood failures and injustices have been avenged.
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
Me: Why did you crawl into my bed last night?
Child: I had a nightmare.
Me: Did kicking me in the back all night he…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
I’ll never understand why my mom died at 65 and her brother (my favorite uncle) is about to die at 61 but their mea…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
Ladies, if he:

- is 27 years old
- is tough to understand at first
- won't let you exit easily
- discourages your…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
But here's one more in color: what was inside the box.
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
I am so incredibly grateful for my work. Not the work I do, the people I know because of it. The ones at my company…
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
Because absence of signal is worse than a distorted signal. At the very least - if we take the cynical vi…
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
I finally figured out I’m done waiting for permission to make things around me better, and I don’t have to wait for…
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
“You want to stay relevant as a human for the next 10 years? Focus on optimizing your BART commute, enjoying avocad…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
Engineering Manager: "How long do you think this will take? "

My brain:
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
Collaborative humor is the best. Someone please build improv for the web.
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
Sometimes I feel we can be like Eddy: so fixated on what we can’t have that we miss what is already ours. So worrie…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
Welcome to the 116th Congress!!
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
Just a suggestion, send this photo with every boys name to each college admissions department…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
And I am lucky to be alive. Others have not been so lucky. When Trump demands “respect” from reporters, we must all…
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
Holy crap, I do not deal well with conflict or confrontation. Can’t sleep because I’m stressed out about something…
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
My self care: I have ordered a cheeseburger, fries, some chocolate thing, and prosecco from room service and will b…
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
What do I think of the countertops? Weird flecks but ok
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
twas the night before the election when all through the states
americans were ready to say no to hate
the chads wer…
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10 weeks ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1059493224207663104
Free idea: an OS-level app that displays a thumbnail video of your front-facing camera when you're in apps you want…
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10 weeks ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1058974544113950721
There’s an… interesting contrast to the way tech leaders talk about spending money on startups (“90% of th…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
VOTE FORREST Y SALAZAR 2018: omg he’s so adorable.
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
We should remember Lincoln's principles and vote accordingly. Lincoln stood against a cabal of very wealthy men con…
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11 weeks ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1058410887860641793
So, yes, Lincoln was a Republican. He put in place our first active government, providing free land, education, and…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Apparently some folks are just now learning Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. Lincoln helped to organize the GOP in…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
My dream candidate donate page:
⚪️ Donate $20 to my campaign
🔘 Add $5 to my $20 pledge and I won't share your email…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
But: we should, because it is the most honest and forthright definition of what's happening here. Our government is…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Given how hard it is to get the media to use the word "terrorist" when describing a white man committing an act of…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
715,000 people were detained in the Nazi concentration camps (Wikipedia). This is *more than an order of magnitude*…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
These are concentration camps.

This is not intellectually dishonest or politically manipulative; it is definitiona…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
I swear, Twitter always responds to criticism in exactly the wrong way.

Just ban the Nazis dude.
That’s all we wa…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Check out this incredible web audio project from . Mind-boggling!
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Today I'm finally putting this project out into the world:

🐢🎶

is…
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11 weeks ago
turtle.audio
Today I'm finally putting this project out into the world:

🐢🎶

is…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Yesterday I started to use the phrase “Come to Jesus meeting” and tried to change course to “Frank discussion” and…
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12 weeks ago
Twitter
My only real life moment of fame was when a mailman came to my door, handed me a package, read my name aloud and sa…
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12 weeks ago
Twitter
If this the god you believe in, you’re an asshole and you worship a monster.

EmptyThePews  from twitter_favs
12 weeks ago
Twitter
i’m at this point where i’ve grown my hair long enough to feel a little attractive in putting it UP, so LOOK, i am…
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12 weeks ago
Twitter
Jesus was 100% for the immigrant, you shit.
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12 weeks ago
Twitter
When I have big hard other work to do I procrastinate by answering things on twitter as SlackHQ and the CE team of…
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12 weeks ago
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