She picks up her phone and goes inside, into the bathroom. She turns on the overhead light and studies her face in the mirror. She punches in a number on the phone without needing to look at the buttons. It's a number she's never forgotten, one she's wanted to call a thousand times. She can barely hear the ringing on the other end. Her heart mimics the roar of the waves only a few dozen feet outside the doors, thrums in her ears and throat. She feels the wind shift again.

"Oh God," she groans, around a mouthful of Phad Thai. "I need to get laid. Howard, not a word." The room freezes. Raj lets loose a squeak that has her wanting to apply WD-40 to his jaw. Leonard drops his spring roll. Sheldon swallows and says, "Are you masturbating regularly?" "Wow," Penny says. "I thought I could have this conversation, but it turns out I was completely wrong. Who wants to watch Star Wars?"

Her lines are easy. It's scary how easy they are. Three years ago, they would've given her a headache. Now she can deliver a thirty-second rant about decomposition and ancient Greece in a way that makes people think she really does work in a quirky lab somewhere.

But—I didn't want to sleep with Harrison Ford, I want to be him.

Basically, she's spent the last ten minutes resisting any wayward urges to lick her way up his forearms.

“Leonard, your girlfriend is trying to kill us again,” she tells him solemnly.   “Yeah, I really need to talk to her about that sometime. It was fine at first, but now it’s just weird,” he says wryly, and Penny laughs.

Penny: Well hey there, Spock. Shouldn't you be at the Star Trek panel? / Spock: I was. But then Leonard Nimoy arrived as a special guest on the panel, and it reminded me of you. I have a question for you, if I may.

If someone asked her to explain the events leading up to their first night together, she wouldn't be able to string together a coherent story if she were offered a million dollars and the lead in the next Steven Spielberg film.

e)THAT, my friend, is Dr. Sheldon Cooper of CalTech University. If you like what you see, welcome to the CooperLaine fandom, bb.

"I'm not going to write an essay, Sheldon!"   "I've told you, Penny, at twenty-two you should be able to compose more than a simple book report!"