People will probably say that a Nebraskan Admiralty should hang below Presidency of the Earth. People, as far as Penny is concerned, can suck it.

They go inside, and Penny almost forgets about the van. This is her first mistake.

"You don't have to, like, make out with her. Just go get your game on. It's cool." God, Howard's pretty good at this advice shit. Maybe he should just bow out of the game gracefully and retire. He can wear long velvet dressing gowns and dispense advice to distraught young fictional lesbians. He will be a guru, a modern-day guru with glorious hair, and he will often be holding a glass half-full of dark red wine. His mansion will have many cameras. For security purposes, of course.

"And that's obviously not it or I wouldn't have bruises all over my knees." | For some reason, that makes him flush an even deeper red.

That's it. That's the way out of this; he'll walk the worlds like a human does, a thin clear vessel with a narrow thread of heartbeat, one thought in front of another, one life in front of another, and then-

Hello, future victims of Chuck Bartowski! Do not be afraid, I brought you beer to help you deal with your inevitable shame.

It comes as something of a shock when she throws the shoe at his head.

Rose smiles and looks at her desk, and Gwen follows her eyes, sees Rose’s hands spread wide on well-worn books, her fingers scratching at the backs of volumes older than the two of them put together. She’d never noticed before, but Rose is young, younger than she’d thought, younger than Gwen even.

"So you and Sheldon, huh?" Damn him. "So you and Howard, huh?"

It's nothing like a dream, everything seems oversaturated and heavy and real. She feels awake. She is awake. She's in bed, curled on her side, the plaid comforter pulled up to her neck, sliding bare legs back and forth across the cool sheets.

“She's Missy?” She hears Barney say. “Hot student high-five!”

"You don't look lost at all," he says, shaking his head. "You just look kind of... brand new."

You can feel your face heat up, until Sookie touches your shoulder lightly, to say, "It's an invitation, Roy."

Tara gives her a little side-of-the-mouth smile and nods at her. "We'll stay safe together, okay?" Claire nods. "Okay."

Pam finds a book club and joins it with Lily and Robin, and then Marshall joins too after he finds out they're reading Dracula.

Robin stole the covers, but she totally got it.

The Schrutes have known about Slayers for a long time.

“God, you two are such women,” she says, and Ryan laughs because it’s true.

The only thing Pam's ever heard him say is, "The worst thing about prison was the Dementors."

All right, then. One final question. Albus Dumbledore. Great Headmaster? Or … the greatest Headmaster?

Mrs. Filipino! I have got to tell you. I just had the strangest dream, ever.

Even the most miniscule of distractions could result in a disaster so monstrous, it'd make the Cylon war look like kids play.

"Hey, when you gay marry him, can I be your best man?"