"Anyway," Barney continued, "my point is that if you're going to re-experience the gay tongue, you may as well re-experience it with a master of masculinity, a Miyagi of manliness, a Tarantino of testosterone - "

Ted doesn't like to admit it (and he certainly will never admit it to his kids, Jesus Christ. He may be the king of the inter-generational over share, but some things cross the line from inherently dorky dad trying to prove he once approached cool right into someone should probably call the cops on that dude territory), but it perhaps, might have, maybe, been his idea first.

With Barney? It still feels like an unfinished Choose Your Own Adventure book; turn to page 54 for an afternoon of laser tag fun, turn to page 113 for the inevitable downfall.

Six hours later he comes to in the chemistry building, clutching a garden gnome labeled, "Hello My Name is: TED'S LAB PARTNER!!!"

“She's Missy?” She hears Barney say. “Hot student high-five!”

“I’m pretty sure I saw that movie on Lifetime two weeks ago,” Ted says.

Robin grins. “You watch Lifetime? Lifetime: Television for Women?”

He doesn't touch her. "Lucky that you lo-athe me?"

"I am like-- like the next Kelly Clarkson. Except edgy. And Canadian."

Pam finds a book club and joins it with Lily and Robin, and then Marshall joins too after he finds out they're reading Dracula.

Robin stole the covers, but she totally got it.

“God, you two are such women,” she says, and Ryan laughs because it’s true.

Predictably, the hand goes up. “Hilarious Canadian pronunciation high five. Right here!”

Barney tried not to notice Ted mouthing "wow" or Lily and Marshall's matching knowing nods, but when _____ said, "Over-the-Ted high-five!" he had to comply.

"You just completely devastated items 1 through 17 on my list, Scherbatsky."

"Hey, when you gay marry him, can I be your best man?"