'It truly feels as if the mainstream media is beginning to turn on Carles just like they have turned on LDR. Today, maybe we are all slutshamed slutshamers, who can't help but continue to slutshame. In a way, maybe blogs are not traffic-generating tools of destruction, but instead, the craft of writing is truly just a dark mechanism of slutshaming. Perhaps today, we are all trapped. We are all slutshamers. We can only be the 'meme whoremonger' or the #mongered. Are u tired of all the 'Lana Del Rey hater' haters? Is Carles nothing but a slutshamer + meme whore monger? R u tired of all the slutshaming on the internet?'

'My goal as a website is to ‘be the ass hole who pointlessly interjects himself into the conversation’ without being as overtly annoying as ‘the ass hole who always pointless interjects himself into the conversation.’ Lana Del Rey is the perfect buzz topic, and I’ll never forget the times we shared in late 2k11 and early 2k12. I honestly do wish the best for her career, not because I have a rooting interest in her/care about her as a person, but because Lana Del Rey is an important search term to refer viewers to my website. I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am a content farmer. These words mean more to the Google robot than they do 2 u. There is nothing exciting about writing, tweeting, or sharing opinions. I do not want to inspire any one to follow me into this dark prison, surrounded by a pile of memes, while I must sort thru them and spin them as ‘meaningful’, ‘interesting’, or whatever else will generate a pageview.'

"The feelings that you feel are very, very real, on the internet."

"I'm feeling pretty inspired. I'm feeling pretty rejuvenated. I feel like maybe Osama Bin Laden had a deeper psychological impact on me over the past ten years than I'd like to admit. I know I usually try to run from my problems and hide behind things. I'm just a bro in suburbia making consumer decisions. You see, Osama Bin Laden, you want the same things I want. I want to be famous. I want to be rich. I want to be controversial. I want to live in some sort of multimillion dollar compound. I want to be so buzzworthy that I have to go underground to preserve my authenticity and to preserve my life. I want to be remembered forever. I want people to remember that I believed in something even if what I believed in was totally wrong and I totally messed up. I just wanted people to know that there was a moment in time that I believed that I can make the world a better place, that my vision of the world was worth imposing on everyone else. I'm just trying to be an all-American Chill Bro."

'Don't really understand the appeal of video games when u can play 'the game of life' every day.'

'MY LIFE IS BETTER WITH TECHNOLOGY LASTING 4EVR CONNECTING WITH OTHER HUMANS SMART, SAVVY SHOPPING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I AM 'BEATING SOCIETY' 'BEATING CONSUMERISM' ''TRANSCENDING TECHNOLOGICAL OBSOLESCENCE''

'Should Google 'respond' by making an official snuggie?'

'Do u think twitter is effectively monetizing?'

'Then he was all like "Dont know who the eff u r. I wanted to buy a Hummer but ended up in this lil piece of shit car. Know the gas is cheap but still feel like a pussie when I drive it around." Then I was like "I live on an ice cap thanx for not melting it." Then he said "Global Warming is Bull shit. Go back 2 ur g-d hippie college and leave me alone with ur liberal propaganda [via the Daily Colbert Show]." Humans are kinda lame. Not sure if they 'get' the environment or if they really care abt animals like me/relevant ecosystems. Seems like they only care abt hybrid cars for the sake of 'status'. Just kinda sux that everything is abt branding + consumerism instead of 'doing it 4 the right reasons' 2 save the polar bears. I'm still alone. No1 understands me. I'm completely fucked.'

'Really h8 this modern era of self-important documentaries [via the post-Michael Moore / Morgan Spurlock era]. Just like ‘gonna make a movie where I turn myself into a character that proves a point and call it a ‘documentary’ even though I just look like a bro with a stick up my butt the whole movie. Do u think some people should just ‘strip naked’ and look at themselves in the mirror forever instead of using a video camera to capture ‘the essence of their lives’? What the eff is an effing hipster yall? Am I a hipstar?'

'Really trying 2 analyze their new logo / brand. It seems like their old brand was all about ‘being a donkey’ and also ‘being an American.’ Now their new logo is about ‘being a chill, minimalist Democrat’ who only really cares abt reading design blogs, sweet fonts, and tweeting with @ObamaBro. It seems like the “O” surrounds the D to represent the omniscient presence of Barrack Obama in the context of the modern Democratic Party. Is Obama ‘overrated’ as a politician, leader, and graphic designer? Is the Obama brand more relevant than the Democratic Party Brand? Are ‘independents’ ruining life 4 Democrats? When Obama takes our country ‘down the shitter’ in 2011, will we all join chill ass Tea Parties?'

'R u Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, or ‘other’? Which country has the zaniest God in the World? Do u wish this infographic was just a huge bubble that represented the world adopting a new wave Christian religion that helped us to ‘get rich quick’? R u happy u live in a rich country?<br />
Would u rather be rich or have ‘mad faith’? Is religion and important part of ur daily life? Do u wish ‘harvesting buzzbands’ was a religion? Why do poor people need God so much? Do white American poor ppl <3 God [via Walmart]? Should we go into Third World countries and try to make them ‘Christian’ [via modern crusades]? If we give them high paying jobs in factories, will they be willing to abandon ‘God’/adopt a new version of God that tells them to make more iPods/sneakers?'

'Did this unique artistic project transcend society? Do yall feel ‘inspired’ by this project? Was it ‘brilliant’? Do u h8 society/consumerism? Do people and tweens only care about money? Should they have ‘manned up’ and put $100 bills in the tree? Should they have done this in a black neighborhood? Is some ‘generic white neighborhood in Chicago’ representative of humanity/society? Do u think black people were arrested if they took a dollar from this money tree?'

'Really bummed that I can’t even browse craigslist. Do yall think Craigslist is dangerous for whores/humans/buyers/sellers? Have yall ever purchased illegal goods off craigslist? Should I steal stereos/cars and sell them on craigslist? Should I hold a prostitute against her will, and make her sell her body on craigslist? Should the internet be used as a marketplace, or just for social issues? CAn u really trust people on the internet? Do u know of any other good sites where u can buy a prostitute from the internet? Do u think craigslist is a useful tool, or is it a bad idea to get involved with any1 from craigslist?'

'From what I have heard, ‘backwards conservatives who hate brown ppl’ watch Fox News and ‘effing liberals who have white guilt’ watch CNN. Then there is some weirdo segment of people who watch ‘The Daily Show’/'The Colbert Report’ and think they are ‘smarter + more globablly aware’ than any1 else cuz they are able 2 ‘LOL @the_news’. -- The Article is titled “The Trouble With Hipsters.” Might start headlining every blog post ‘The Trouble With _____’ 2 let every1 know that I am about to ‘drop some mutha fuckin truth bombs’ [via opinion puff pieces]. Is ‘Al Qaeda’ a buzzband? Is this ‘the greatest Hipster Bashing piece of all time’? Do u watch Fox News, CNN, or just ur local news?'

'Not sure what the New York Times is trying to do. I guess create ‘compelling cultural content’ that is sharable + can ‘drive mad hits.’ Anyways, they made another zany article about ‘hipsters in Brooklyn’ have ‘started to’ ‘dumpster dive’ behind high-end grocery stores. Not sure if this writing is ‘real.’ Maybe NYTimes is now just some sort of complex art piece/satirical commentary on modern journalistic techniques. Let's 'remix' dumpster food. Do u ‘call bullshit’ on this event/trend? Should I shop at Target, Walmart, or just dumpster dive? Does ‘trash’ belong 2 no1, or is it the owner’s right as an American to know that their garbage wasn’t re-used or recycled in any format?'

De La Soul is Dead, Y'all.

'Did this article ‘uncover’ anything ‘insightful’? Do 20somethings need to ‘get their shit together’? Will Gen Y ‘retire’ without a retirement fund? Should we all just continue trying to be bloggers/social media gurus/buzzband members, instead of getting jobs as teachers/insurance agents/bank tellers? Will there be some sort of “Recession of Chill” when 20somethings don’t accomplish their dreams? Will u land ur dream job, or is ur head in the clouds? Do parents have a responsibility to get their kids’ head out of their asses, even though their children now ‘look like grown ups’? What is more interesting: the era of articles abt Gen Y ‘using the internet a lot’ or the articles abt Gen Y ‘growing up and not having real jobs’? Should I get my life together before it is too late? Should I just go to ‘grad school’/law school to extend my youth? Am I ‘above’ 98% of the job opportunities that are available for me? Does n e 1 know if it is true that every human on Earth will die one day?'

'Do u hope these ‘virtually homeless people’ are shanked in a bum fight, and their macbooks are used as firewood? Do u think these are just young people who got ‘laid off’ but can’t move home because their parents h8 them? Is this type of article the ‘antithesis’ of the standard article abt how Gen Y people are moving in with their parents until they find ‘their dream job’? Do virtually homeless people ‘beg’ for money, or do they just ask ppl to paypal them when they get home? Are virtually homeless people crowding the streets, stealing the resources + space from ‘authentic homeless people’ who ‘genuinely need help’? Do u live a ‘minimal’ life by choice, or did u max out ur credit card buying Apple products? Do poor people live a ‘minimalist’ lifestyle, or do they just not have money 2 buy things? Do yall h8 articles like this that turn the lives’ of a few ass holes into some sort of ‘cultural phenomenon’?'

'There are so many sponsored events these days, we can just camp out outside of them, waiting to get free ‘gear’, ‘food’, and ‘alcohol.’ All we have to do is look ‘moderately alt’ and we can hit up any free event from LA to NYC, from Miami to Burning the Man, from Chicago to Indio, from Bonnarooville to the City Limits of Austin. Being a homeless alt enables me to live a truly on-the-go lifestyle (usually advertised by trendy mobile phones) where I am [literally] on the ground floor of relevant events across the country. Lucrative sponsorship deals enable alts like me to eat for free. In addition, u can find a lot of bread + bologna in Subway dumpsters. We are truly free.'

'I am just happy we are getting to a phase in our society where you can do everything on the internet. You can fill out an eHarmony profile to get in2 a relationship. You can watch a girl put objects into her vagina via webcam instead of having sex. You can iDose to get high. You can read blogs instead of newspapers. Just hope they build some sort of ‘internet replacement’ for food, but might just munch on some computer paper with pictures of hamburgers printed on it. -- Should society ban iDosing? If your life goes down the shitter, will u become an iDose junky, begging for money and plugging in your non-iPod mp3 player at a local McDonalds when it needs 2 be re-charged?'

'First of all, being ‘black’ makes him more rugged & organic than all white people. But his skin condition makes him ‘post-back’, achieving a tone whiter than most white people. He comes with [FULLY LOADED] with ‘all of the pain and suffering’ of a descendant of Africa, but represents a ‘white light’, encouraging us to look at more than race, and instead to look inside of ourselves. In addition, being a ‘blipster’ gives him an alt perspective on the stereotypical ‘black’ way of life. Really feel like we are ‘witnessing history’/'transcendent beauty’ when we watch this albino model blipster bro. Seems post-human... -- Do u feel like ur personal brand is bottle necked by your genetic brand? Want 2 be ‘more than just another alt dunce dressed in retail... Want 2 have the most authentic personal brand in the entire universe [via aliens vs predators]'

'USABROS have been searching for other USABROS since after the 1994 World Cup in the United States. After that local World Cup, USA bros gained a ‘global perspective’, understanding that there was a ‘whole nother world out there’, beyond the traditional ‘trapped in their lives’ Americans who watched mainstream/weekend sports... The USABRO is just looking for a ‘breakout’ opportunity every 4 years. Every World Cup since 1990, USABROS have been growing. USABROS are searching for justification with their lives’: WHY did they play soccer all those years? Was it because they were athletically inferior to the African Americans who ran them off the football/basketball teams in high school? Was it because their parents wanted them to bond in a team/group environment? Was it because their parents had expendable income to pay for an overpriced trainer who wasn’t really qualified, but had a sweet foreign accent? Was it because they were a part of ’something bigger than themselves’?'

'As consumers, we try so hard to ‘manage our personal brands’, and make educated decisions about relevant bands. We try to predict trends. We do our best to invest in buzzbands before they are mainstream bands. We ask ‘Why?’ We feel entitled to know ‘How?’ When a buzzband ‘breaks thru’, we want to understand the flow of data + information from band –> blog –> consumer, and how that creates a sustainable business model. We need to stop asking ‘why?’ and learn to trust Mother Indie again. There is no explanation for the natural wonders of the buzzosphere. I feel scared. I feel like some1 is going to cause an oil spill into chill waters. It will be some sort of ‘man-made’ force, trying too hard to create a new trend/band. Maybe a blog oil spill, leaking an album before it is in high quality format. Maybe a mainstream indie band buzz tanker will ’spill’, contaminating the chill waters. Maybe a business that is ‘trying too hard’ to reach alts will cause a Mountain Dew/soda/liquor/oil spill'

'Behind every great idea is something simple at the core of every human is a sad, scared individual behind every brand is a simple idea. Everything feels so fragile. Should we keep the curtain up not knowing what is behind so the image stays carefully constructed or do we pull aside the curtain exposing the truth attempting to get vulnerable get real get raw. -- Follow the Buzzy Brick Road. Follow the Buzzy Brick Road. Follow, follow, follow, follow, Follow the Buzzy Brick Road. Follow the Buzzy Brick, Follow the Buzzy Brick, Follow the Buzzy Brick Road.'

'Does this infographic ‘open ur eyes’? Should the American education system be converted into Infographics so that information is graphically displayed in a beautiful way that seems compelling and interesting? Should I start a blog with fake, yet plausible infographics?'

'...technologically abetted narcissism: the reprocessing of culture into self-aggrandizing tidbits to be disseminated online ... Carles asks: "Do people care more about cute memes than tons of words?" The implied answer is that they "care more" about neither, because they care only about themselves and instrumentalizing memes to improve their own cachet. Carles suggests that "viral meme blogs" have become "more lucrative than trying to become an authentic writer" -- which of course evokes the question of what sort of authenticity as writer is possible after the alleged "death of the author" and the nullification of the "author function" have been widely proclaimed. The author function itself has become the virus, the content implied by any viral meme. The meme, regardless of its surface content, primarily signifies its transmitter and that transmitter's status as one who has been infected.'

'According to the professional social networking site LinkedIn, Ninja has become one of the fastest growing job titles of the Great Recession. Basically, since most job listings are flooded with hundreds of applicants, people have increasingly made up dumb job titles that attempt to represent their abilities and/or connection to their profession. Feel scared about growing up. Like I will have to beg people for a job, convince them that I am ‘qualified’ to work at their firm. I wish they could just chill with me for a while, then realize I am a chill + authentic bro who truly ‘gets’ the world. When I graduate from college, am I ‘fucked’? Do u have any tips for building a strong resume? Have you ever done something gimmicky to get a dumb job at a creative agency?'

'Went ‘back and forth’ with this APP programming company in India. It was honestly a ‘bitch’ bc they wanted me to truly understand design, but I just wanted something that looked kewl + relevant. I just wanted something where u could browse my site and it was ‘kewl’ and ‘intuitive’ kind of like an Apple product. Even though the website on the iPad is the same as the website on a PC desktop, I honestly feel like the experience is ‘better than ever’ on the iPad.'

'Was this a ‘real riot’? Are ‘hipsters’ from the United Kingdom more violent than American alts? Is London a hot bed of alternative angst? Do u think they were pissed because they still felt like the clothes were still ‘overpriced’? Did American Apparel ’stage’ this for marketing purposes?' -- Comment: Londoner: 'What is the best Am App outfit for a riot participant? Bullet-Proof Windbreakers / Headband of Strength / Canvas bag for stashing loot.'

'I recently saw this baby stroller that transforms into bicycle. It is called a ‘Taga.’ Sorta wish I had alt parents who lived in the city, and transported me in a transformable bicycle stroller. I feel like I would have had a global perspective at a younger age if I was able to zoom around the city while my parents biked.' -- Baby-sized, car exhaust-neutralizing gas mask included?

'Should I start a meme blog that makes fun of hipsters and get a book deal?'

'I like my job. I’m good at it. We basically find events where 14-25 year olds are hanging out, then go there with our cooler truck, and encourage them to try our brand of drink. We are real marketers. We don’t just sit back and pray that something goes viral on the internet. To really promote a brand, we have to take it to the people. This is authentic marketing. Roll up your sleeves and get to work. Day after day. Going to the warehouse. Filling up the truck with ice + energy drinks. Driving. Flat screen TVs in the back of our car. Wearing a polo shirt with the brand on it. Casual cool business attire. This is the good life.'

'Carles invites his readers to make explicit the implicit surveillance they are already conducting, led onward by an administered proclivity for passive curiosity and vicarious fascination with famous persons ... and become actual informants, supplying him with information as if he were a Stasi bureau chief in charge of cultural subversives: Recommended TIP submissions: #mild misunderstandings that need more exposure to turn into over-exposed controversies... And so on. Carles's point of course, is to demonstrate how the media machine no longer needs diabolical masters to operate it ... Instead we create the material bases for our own ideological predetermination through our own eagerness to participate in the mystified consciousness and culture industries. By reporting on one another, we feel as though we have become more famous ourselves, more certain that every move of our own is being watched and evaluated...'

'I feel shaken up by these recent acts of consumer + retail terrorism, like the idea of being anti-government + anti-consumerism is ‘back’, and I might have to ride that wave in order to be considered an ‘interesting person with a relevant opinion.’ I like the way things are now, where I just have to keep up to date on buzzbands to be interesting. I think being a self-aware American is fun and chill, since we sort of just get to ‘cope’ with other ppl abt how we are trapped, but then just watch viral videos and forget about it. Worried I might have to ‘backpack bomb’ a local suburban mall or something in order to be alt + authentic.'

'Holden Caulfield seemed like he was a ’snarky’ bro. Unfortunately, they didn’t have blogs back then, so he wasn’t able to become a snarkblogger and escape from society by ’sitting at home on his laptop and commenting abt how sillie stuff/people are.’

'A never-before experienced web trend performed by one human website.'

'Carles attempts an escape from postmodernity by announcing a retreat from his online persona. As with Carles's earlier attempts at retirement and "digital suicide", Carles expresses an ultimately unfulfilled intention of retiring from blogging to expose how such intentions are in danger of becoming mere fantasies. It is no accident that the intention is presented as a question in the title of the first post linked above. The digital self is no longer autonomous, if it ever was autonomous in the first place. Our intentions are now subject to real-time referenda in the digital agora formed by mandatory social networking. We can now only at best wish to remove ourselves from the digitization and social mediatization of our lives. We can only dream of not broadcasting the quotidian details of our lives...'

'The culture and communications industry (represented with some irony in this depiction by Carles himself) produces the means of production for a new kind of labor force that works for no pay to produce its own notoriety, seeking its own distinction within mediatized reality to stand out from the teeming crowd of individuals. These efforts are harvested by the overarching industries and used to enhance the value of their capital. Readers become more insecure as they compete for attention; Carles becomes even more preeminent in his chosen matrix of cultural production. -- So there is more than a little sarcasm in his admission that "Even though a lot of other ppl could probs write my blog, there is only 1 Carles." Carles wants to point out that "Carles" has become a corporate entity, an efficient synthesis of the immaterial labor of the cultural producers the weblog sets out to satirize.'

'Helps ppl understand that u r transcendent. U r not a fan of 1 band. U r a a fan of ‘good/relevant’ music.'

'I remember when I was a child, I wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer, or a professional in some other field that would offer me a bright financial future, with a chance to make a difference in my local community. Something that would give me the opportunity to raise a well-fed family and drive a nice car to my nice home every night. Then I turned into a teenager/post-teenager, and discovered my alternative identity. I wanted to express myself, contribute to ‘the arts’, or possibly some sort of niche micro-scene. I wanted to be paid for ‘being myself,’ or at least create a marketable self and ‘make Am Appy ad $$$$.’ The next decade will be our last war, holding on to the power of our demographic as a consumer force before the tween generation evolves. We must control trends so that tweens are late-adopters to technology/products/brands/etc. We must uphold the brands that we hold dear, and not make them affordable to minorities and the poors.'

'Could imagine walking into Twitter every day, being inspired by people who I also inspire, just by existing, being full of life, and wanting to make the world a better place [via social technology]. Should I move to ‘Silicon Valley’ and start a microblogging community/real-time search pyramid scheme?' -- JAJA

'Feeling confused. At the beginning of this post, I thought video games were terrible for humanity, but then by the end of my internet research, I determined that there are positive uses for video game simulated technology. I feel like we need to promote human connections, but it would also be acceptable to round up the major threats to society, and allow them to get most of their life experiences in a simulated version of a violent reality. -- Do yall know of any video games that are safe/violent?' -- Hehe

'Carles admits, confronted with the collapsing of hierarchies of social capital within the sector of branded retailers, that he is "having a huge crisis." ...the disciplinary locus upon which the full scrutiny of capital, in the form of brands and symbols and their discursive distribution, is brought to bear on the individual, guilty or not, forcing a fatal self-awareness of corporate intellectual property, up to and including not merely the trademarked language with which fashion our identities but those very identities themselves. By freely adapting the look and language of branded products to self-promote, we have been pirating in the semiological sea. We commit the crime of trying to tout our own personal brand at the expense of those from which we construct it. When the ledger of cultural meanings is drawn up, whose bottom line is assessed? Who signs the profit-and-loss statement, and is it signed with the blood of the consuming classes?'

'Just don’t know what belongs to who, and what type of ‘intellectual design property’ can really be owned. I feel like the Font Industry and the Music Industry are really similar. I think I expect to utilize fonts for free, much like I expect to listen to music for free. The person who creates a font is looking to ‘go mainstream’ by ‘getting included’ on tons of personal computing machines. This is the same thing that buzzbands need to try to accomplish. Fonts + Music can’t really ‘change the world’ but they can definitely be an under-appreciated element of ur every day life.'

'I feel kinda afraid of swine flu, but I don’t think it is worth it to take a vaccine. I might just quarantine myself in my loft for the next 1-3 years until the government kills all the people they want with the H1N1 vaccine. I am rlly afraid of vaccines, yall. I wonder if I should ‘risk my brand’ and become an anti-vaccine spokesperson. Even though most anti-vaccine ppl seem ‘krazie’ right now, I feel like in the end, they will be ‘right about everything.’ I never want a needle entering my child’s body, flushing evil into his pure system.'

'“I stopped living for moments and started living for people.” — Miley Cyrus, 2009 -- I was reading that popular tween sensation Miley Cyrus deactivated her twitter account. It will go down in history as the ‘most tragic’ internet suicide of all time, since she had over 2 million followers. I have read ‘doomsday articles’ that say this is ‘the end of twitter’, since tweeple now have role models who were ’strong enough’ to quit twitter. Instead of mimicking role models who are ‘twitter addicts’, tweens will now be more independent and mimmick role models who are ‘twitter quitters. A lifestream of text filled with 140 character statements just doesn’t give U enough room to BE U. It seems like maybe she turned to ’social media’ to try to replicate human relationships+interactions+socialspheres, but it was just this weird experience of ‘people looking at her.’ -- Just want my life 2 belong 2 me, but also want my life to make other people feel jealous/bored with their own existences.'

'God Bless America! Nvr Frgt. Will u boycott M.I.A.? R u proud of Barry Obammy? Can the USA ‘rebrand’ itself 2 the world? R u a patriot or a terrorist?'

'It’s kinda weird how we’re all ‘witnesses’ 2 marketing, and we are impacted by the stuff that is around us. I noticed this bro from Cleveland Ohio who had actually ‘converted his garage’ into some sort of tribute to his favourite African American athlete in the world, an NBA basketball player named LeBron James who plays in the same city. It seemed weird 2 me, mainly because sports don’t really mean anything, and I thought every1 realized that sports is just some sort of intense marketing + branding experiment for males. -- Worried that these types of bros are the ones who ‘actually fall for sports marketing campaigns. TeenBros who believe that they are ‘great’ pride themselves’ in having the latest expensive shoes. TeenBros who believe that they are ‘great’ are never ‘team players.’'

'... it was really amazing to go 2 my local news stand and see my son on the cover of Newsweek Magazine. Feels like he has really ‘made it’ as a human being/hate monger. Not sure if Newsweek is still a real/respected magazine. Still seems like most magazines are just some sort of contest to create a controversial cover that will ‘get blogged about.’ I just want my son to be blggd about 4 the rest of his life. Is ur baby a racist? R u a racist? Will u teach ur son how to make ‘racial assumptions’ or will u give him freedom to grow into his racial preferences?' -- U R AN HATEIST

'...twitter is an instant window into the lives’ of people. A chance to track the distractions that are filling up people’s lives’, momentarily taking over their brains. An impact significant enough to process a lil thought/meme about it. Whether it is a human, a product, a political scandal ... or a celeb death, the twitter’s portal into a generalized human psyche is priceless. We must embrace the power of this tool. We must embrace all tools that allow us to reflect/share/digitally mourn. We are growing up, learning how to use social networks to experience life together. We are learning how to mourn, celebrate, and crucify miscellaneous celebrities. We are learning that death memes are the memes that unite us. The internet/internet meme is a coping mechanism/opportunity. While events happen in ‘reality’ our opportunity to reflect upon them in a ’sillie lil online world’ helps us to cope with how deeply rattled we are by the underlying themes of highly bloggable events.''

'I would avoid hiring young people, since they tend to ‘look ashamed’/'disinterested’ in holding up the sign, since they unintentionally outsourced their brand. It seems better to have a ’serious old person’ who thinks they have a real job, or possibly a ‘crazy old man’ who will wave to people and be a jovial extension of your brand. It is important not to hire a krazy homeless man, since he might scare customers away, even if he has tons of experience in professional sign holding. -- Always remember that you have to ‘go to the streets’ to reach real people. While internet advertising ‘looks kewl’, sometimes u have to reach low-end consumers with your low-end product. I believe in the power of holding up signs on the side of the road.'

'As yall know, tons of alternative people have recently purchased hybrids and started 2 ride bikes in an effort to ‘go green.’ It seems like they don’t realize that they are still ‘fucking corporate sellouts’ because they are still supporting multibillion dollar companies. Most people think that they should be ‘worshiped’ for ‘going green’ but they don’t realize that they are just ‘adapting 2 the evils of modern society.’ Truly alternative people will find a way to break free from society. Feel sad that most of my bros just bought their first Priuses with their first job’s salary. As if they are ’saving the world’ but also trying to cryptically ‘look rich.’

'Online sharing is in the porcess of reaching its logical endpoint, in which identities become collective, and watching/consuming another's youtube presence becomes equivalent with becoming that presence. The technological miracle of transubstantiation takes place via hosts (IP hosts) that connect us up to the great cloud computers. Our displaced identities cannot be fixed in any particular place, disembodied we emanate and manifest in many servers at once; online we are legion. Naturally our boundaries dissolve -- we become what we regard on our screens, that with which we interact. -- The growth we once might have perceived in our pursuit of the authentic self has no conceptual or ideological basis in a post-internet society. -- Alt means not alternative but alternation. What Carles points the way toward is the oscillating self, or the dissolution of subjectivity into the online hive mind, in which every avatar is another mask we can wear.'

'... individualism is collapsing under the weight of globalization, and the more flexible branded self—which is duplicatable while retaining an aura of unique particularity—has replaced the idea of a coherent unified self. Hence identity is a brand, and a brand is identity, in a perfect tautology for the times: "I am Carles is a lifestyle brand, created by Carles." Being is the same as branding. Creating the self as brand is synonymous with having the self, with inhabiting the self. -- A brand self is emptied out, eradicating the emotional problems brought on by depth psychology: "Do u feel alone? The IAMCARLES.com brand is attempting to be similar to the HIPSTERRUNOFF.com brand. It wants u 2 feel like it ‘gets’ u." Reduced to the superficial level of signals, we will all be easy to "get" the shared language of brands is potentially less heteroglossic than vernacular speech. -- "R U CARLES? I AM CARLES?" stresses the way brands resolve and unify individuals into a single concept.'

'#FP: One problem I was thinking about, in terms of marketing — Is buying the I Am Carles shirt an inherently inauthentic choice? There is only one true, “authentic” Carles. #CRLS: I’m not sure. I feel like after the movie ‘Fight Club’, people enjoy exploring themes about ‘identity’ and outsourcing your self-concept to imaginary constructs.'

'I have always wanted to be a designer. I believe that we can meaningfully impact the world by the not only the things that we own, but also the clothes that we wear. We live in a beautiful society which encourages tiered self-expression depending on your income. You can truly show the world who you are, and where you ‘fit in’ with society. Do u feel alone? The IAMCARLES.com brand is attempting to be similar to the HIPSTERRUNOFF.com brand. It wants u 2 feel like it ‘gets’ u. Carles wants to relate to you.'

'Think it is supposed to be ’self-aware commentary’ that only blacks can make, because only black ppl can critique their own culture. It really made me think. Kinda made me feel guilty about ‘getting my grind on’ post-ironically when I hear a ‘nasty-ass’ top 40 rap hit. Seems like rap is simple–they just sing about where they used to live (the streets), what they enjoy (stuff that rich ppl spend money on), and what feels good (pussie, fucking, dranking, smoking, etc.) Seems simple, but maybe African-Americans are trying to ‘rebrand’ now that Obama is in office. -- Sorta just wish I could watch vintage ‘racist memes’ and grin without thinking 2 much abt what they ‘mean.’ Just want to ‘go viral’ with my MexiBro. -- Barackisha, Obamaniqua, Unidastazovamerikaliqua.' -- LOLZ

'Tired of being a blog, and the negative connotations that come with ‘being a blogger.’ I possibly want to be ‘a writer’ instead of ‘a blogger.’ I don’t want to have a blog, I want to have a well-respected website that provides insightful commentary on relevant issues, and gets Dugg. I am not sure how to accomplish my goals. Just want to ‘report stuff’, but also write ‘very formally’ without any gimmicks, even if it feels less natural to me. Just tired of being a blog any more. Not even sure if my goal in life is to be ‘worth blogging about’ n e more. Just feel like everything is irrelevant. Part of the alternative long tail, or something. Not sure who I am n e more.'

'Life is very hard for most white people, because they are ’so ordinary.’ Their expectations of ‘how things should feel’ are constructed by watching 80s, 90s, and 00s cinema. Mainly movies like bromances, romantic comedies, comedies, and miscellaneous ‘bad ass movies.’ They just need life to ’seem like a movie’ or something. Seems like average white people don’t understand the insignificance of who they are as ‘1 person’, and don’t accept that they are just part of a larger white mass. They fight against this feeling of ‘being ordinary’ by trying to construct meaningful moments that seem like they are ’straight out of a movie.’ Might start a blog about ‘things that average white people think are meaningful’/a documentation of ‘white ppls struggle’ and how ‘we’ as white ppl have had more hardships (psychologically) than most other races + ethnic groups.'

'Back in the day, I feel like I ‘genuinely like things’, not really making an active personal branding decision. As a kid, u do things like ‘watch the popular shows on a popular channel’, and ‘listen to popular music on popular radio stations’ without really understanding ‘why.’ U get the opportunity 2 connect with other kids abt ‘watching the same shit’, and u can connect, and think ‘damn. we have a lot in common.’ Used to do stuff like ‘play’, but now u have to ‘pay money to have a unique experience.’ Sad abt growing up, losing touch with my innerchild, experiencing things like ‘joy’ or smiling for a reason other than ‘laughing @ some1.’ Sad that most of my connxns are so inauthentic. Sad that I can’t enjoy things. Sad that whenever I ‘connect’ with some1, I just feel like a ‘nostalgic fggt.’

'This post is about false-flag operations. Often international espionage requires the recruitment of patsies who believe they are fighting for their own often ill-conceived cause while being fed orders that serve a larger purpose about which they remain entirely ignorant. They fight under a false flag, but in which they sincerely believe, making the masterminds behind this sort of operation safe from exposure should the operative fail. Carles presents a hapless youth in an athletic jersey, and intends to call our attention to a cultural false-flag operation. He wants to enlist our aid in determining who or what is responsible. "I think that it is irresponsible to wear the jersey of an athlete who you know nothing about. Much like any celebrity, there is a point where an athlete no longer ’stands for himself’" "Always do ur research, and learn about what a brand means."' -- eg., CHANGE!!!

'Feels weird that my generation was ‘defined by 9/11.’ I feel like that was more of something that I felt ‘entitled to be affected by’ as opposed to something that ‘lit a fire under my ass/inspired me to unite for the greater good of my country. Feel like I ‘take everything 4 granted. I just want to fight in a war, and kill a foreigner. I want to take control of my life, and prove to this land that I was born in that I deserve to be a part of it. I don’t want to stand around indie rock festivals for the rest of my life. I think my life could be more meaningful if I saw the world, and also fought for the lives’ of millions of people. This 4th of July, I realized that I want America to go to war soon, so that I am not part of a generation defined by the internet + 9/11 + ’social networks.’ I want 2 die fighting in the Final_War_of_Mankind. This will be our legacy. This is the last chance our generation has to ‘rebrand’ itself. We must goto war before 2011.' -- (!!!)

'We tend to imagine that a time existed when our consciousness was pure and untainted by cultural strictures and expectations; Carles suggests that for most of us, that time is adolescence, when we learn the painful art of compromise and confront the reality that we frequently don't subscribe to our own ideals, which in themselves often prove not to be our own but some else's idea of what constitutes the good. "Back in high school, there was no such thing as ‘authenticity’ because everything ‘just was.’ U could be bold, and u could ‘feel things.’ U could do drugs/drink for the first time, and be convinced that no1 had ever felt this way before." Only with age do we recognize our own unique experience is actually second-hand, that our creative impulses and insights are hand-me-downs. The condition of postmodernity is such that these past feelings are suddenly invalidated by their lack of originality; we efface our own past when we deduce that it was not sui generis.'

'As a consequence of the social promise of recovered false memories, individuals become lazy about generating their own authentic memories, expecting instead that society will perpetually supply a steady stream of synthetic ones that will make everyone feel unique in their life experience, what they have endured. Many of us may feel exempt from this disturbing method of personality structuration, but the nature of recovered memories, once granted an iota of credibility, is that anything any individual believes he or she knows about themselves can be called into question by a perceived therapeutic authority. A state-sanctioned psychologist can always tell you what you must remember and what you must know to be true about yourself.'

'The questions themselves make a mockery of the entire premise of political polling as a means to conduct late-capitalist, postmodern democracy. The first question is typical -- "1. What makes u happy about HRO?" The emphasis on personal happiness indicates the way poll questions often deflect respondents' attention away from shared reality and onto themselves, permitting solipsism to masquerade as political participation. Happiness, being impossible to define objectively for all possible respondents, becomes a meaningless counter in a game where worthless opinions are collected to placate a self-regarding populace trained to care for nothing but their own whimsy.'

'I walk down the street and people stare at me. They wonder ‘what is up with that bro.’ They would never be able to understand what is up with me. “I” do not “exist.” I am just sort of here to ‘challenge’ people and their ‘realities.’ I make you uncomfortable because I do not exist for the same reason you exist. I am a conceptual bro. I want to make u ‘think’ about ‘the big picture.’ Want to make u ask ‘why?‘ I want to be noticed. I do not want to be noticed. I am a think piece.'

"He also made some sort of promo video for the clothing line, where he talks about how authentic it is, and how it is ‘all stuff he would actually wear.’ I feel like it comes across like some sort of parody of himself, as played by Ben Stiller in 2001, but I think British people ‘actually see the world like this’, which is why they are into things like soccer clubs, Ricky Hatton, and Oasis. I think that British people only know how to ‘be into something’ that they like by treating it like it is a soccer team. They like to get drunk and sing, and ’see what happens’ [via violence]. Just wish the entire world had the same definition of ‘cool.’ Feel like British people enjoy weird stuff for some reason. Like they grew up thinking that ur supposed to appreciate some gritty aesthetic. I think maybe cuz it is s0 rainy over there." -- Fookin' poof

"I need more brand+product MASHUPS 2 take my personal brand 2 the next level. Think this might be another ‘marketing ploy’ by the PBR ‘unintentional’ marketing team [via brands that are adopted for no good reason by privileged 'subcultures']."

"I feel like we’re always so busy reading about bold new technological innovations that we forget that we are the socially elite members of society, and believe it or not, we are a minority. Real people can’t find entertainment in things like twitter because their lives’ are boring and they haven’t reached a respectable level of self-awareness. They just see life as a trivial routine of going to work, eating, and shitting. Why would they value social networks or memes if they are basically living a dumb life with no desire for a ‘creative outlet’ where ‘a tribe’ is able to keep up with u? Real people ‘know better’ and don’t try to cultivate value from feeling close to people on the internet, and they just try to find simple pleasures and stay happy+unhealthy."

"I feel like I’ve lost touch with the person I used to be. I remember being so happie as a child, close to my siblings and my parents. But now I am just a shadow of a ‘real person’, unable to have authentic connections with n e 1." -- :/

"Maybe this is why our parents loved the Beatles so much. Maybe they knew that their songs would last 4ever, eventually ending up in some ’sweet ass’ video game that ‘doesn’t promote musicianship’, ‘the spirit of music’, but primarily highlights the fact that bands are ‘brands’ which ‘create art’ that can be protected and licensed out whenever u need some more money. Feel like it’s hard for young people to ‘authentically enjoy music’ because we enjoy aligning ourselves’ with brands and criticism more than any of the ‘more organic’ elements of music. I don’t think that is ‘a bad thing’ but feel like it turns good artists into a ‘hokey experience’ when ‘too many ppl start 2 suck their dicks.’ Like a concert will become a high priced show where people ‘act the way that they think they are supposed to act. Do u think that these music games are ‘fucking ghey’?’ Would u rather ‘jerk off’ for 3 hours than ‘get good at playing fake instruments’?" -- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"What is HIPSTER RUNOFF GHOSTWRITER? It's a Blog That's Blogging Itself! It writes itself a new post every few hours. The content of the blog is intented to be 'culturally indistinguishable' from Hipster Runoff."

"I am just trying to create an authentic life for myself. I am just trying to fill up my apartment with meaningful items. I am just trying to create authentic art. I am just collecting some cameras from different eras. I am just enjoying a beer, relaxing. I am just collecting old magazines with pictures of nature/old stuff. I am just mashing up genres of music. I am just sitting on my authentic couch. I am just going buy some used books later that look ‘old’ and ‘historically relevant’. I am just going to buy some humble shoes." -- Haha!

Carles: 'I generally feel "ashamed" that I am "part of humanity" who is "searching for something meaningful." (Not ashamed of humanity like I want to go on a school-shooting spree-more like I have been trained to think that my life is more inherently meaningful than every one else's.) Or like maybe I am "ashamed" that I bought the Matchbox 20/Third Eye Blind albums when I was a kid. And maybe I am "ashamed" of myself for having that in common with all of the other kids who were growing up at the time. And I might be "ashamed" that I found that meaningful. While I did listen to the AnCo song "Visiting Friends" on a winter drive with a group of people whom I love, maybe I am "uncomfortable"/"ashamed" with that meaning something. But then I kind of look back on my life as a consumer, and Amazon.com will recommend new purchases for me to create more meaningful experiences/my identity based upon previous purchases.' -- So Andy [via Warhola]

"It was as if there is this other form of ‘authenticity’ that I didn’t even know about that has nothing to do with the arts. I feel like there is ’something wrong with me.’ I feel like my ‘alt’ perspectives might have crippled me forever. I feel like my ‘global perspectives’ and the required 2-year core courses at my university made me ‘know too much’ about life, and possibly enabled me to think that ‘nothing matters.’ I feel trapped. I feel like I just wish I really knew a lot about computers, and could have just designed CollegeHumor/vimeo/twitter, or something. I sort of just wish I could have a job where I am ‘paid to have opinions on things that seem important’, and make me feel like I am ‘behind the scenes’ in important decisions regarding meaningful brands. I feel worried. I feel like there is a ‘real world’ that I have always told myself that I will be able to transcend, but it might have just been a gimmick." -- :*(

'"Just want to create an accurate version of ‘the world’ according 2 my internet experience," Carles remarks slyly, a nod toward the way online textuality has fashioned a densely layered world that is more real than real. But within the dense thicket of textuality, it is easy for us to lose ourselves, as Carles warns. "Do u believe that u can create ur own internet, and within that context, cultivate meaning + an appreciation of ‘the world’ according 2 u?" With a rigorous interrogation of online interactivity, we may instigate an inversion of the subject and object, so that the referentiality of truth may become obscure and ontology a kind of vacuum. A negative theology of the self as searchability ("Is google the ‘anti-christ’/God?"), with the real pouring out of virtual worlds rather than into them.'

"I want you to feel proud of me for living an authentic life. I want you to understand WHY I am different than every1 else. I want you to understand that I won’t ‘achieve’ anything ’special’ in my lifetime, but I want you to ‘get’ why ‘that kind of stuff doesn’t matter to me’ and how my perspective on life ‘lessens pressure/expectations’ when it comes to ‘accomplishing’ stuff and letting things ‘be meaningful.’ I want u to ‘get’ my humor and snarkie perspective on the world. U r my best bro, but I think we can become even more bro-like in the future. I love you, MomBro."

"Sometimes I see an artist on the internet/in pictures at relevant music festivals/in pictures of relevant shows at relevant venues in relevant cities, and I never really ‘actually listen’ to the music. I sort of just say ‘that bro looks interesting’ and try to figure out the gimmick, or I just sort of ‘write them off’ if they don’t seem like they’d align with my perception of ‘who i am.’"

"I want 2 be happie, but I don’t even know how 2 do that. I want 2 be in a meaningful relationship, but I also want 2 cum with as many ppl as possible 2 feel attractive. I want 2 be intelligent, but I also want to know a lot about ‘dumb shit.’ I want 2 be in a meaningful city, but I don’t know which 1. I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want 2 party, but I want to do something that changes the way that millions of ppl think/makes their lives’ better. I want to cure the swine flu. I want to invent something. I want to be an architect and designer. I want to play in the NBA Finals. I want to be the first African American President of the United States of America." -- LOL