Nachimir + funnyhaha   172

It's you, not me: 42 ways to break up with someone | Life and style | The Guardian
'One morning you woke up and said, very seriously, "I feel really weird." I was so relieved.
"Me, too!" I said. "This really isn't working, is it?"
There was a very long silence. "I meant about that ham I had yesterday night."'
breakups  relationships  people  text  stories  quotes  funnyhaha  funnyhorrid  horror  sad 
13 days ago by Nachimir
British Problems
"I wanted to buy some half-price chocolate at WH Smith but wasn't offered any and didn't want to make a scene." "I'm shouting the answers to this Radio 4 quiz, but the idiots keep getting it wrong nonetheless."
british  english  problems  reddit  funnyhaha 
5 weeks ago by Nachimir
Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml: Amazon.co.uk: Health & Beauty
First review: "DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS. Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS. (I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)"
twitter  hair  men  amazon  reviews  bollocks  balls  testicles  gonads  funnyhaha 
6 weeks ago by Nachimir
How Bots Seized Control of My Pricing Strategy
"a delightful futuristic absurdity: a computer program, pretending to be human, hawking a book about computers pretending to be human, while other computer programs pretend to have used copies of it. A book that was never actually written, much less printed and read."
amazon  books  twitter  bots  software  computing  AI  algorithms  code  pricing  sales  automation  absurd  funnyhaha 
february 2012 by Nachimir
Popjustice - A note to Alternative Music Scribes having trouble with Lana Del Rey
"We know you're upset and we know you're angry but please don't talk about being used. You want to be used. You want to be a tastemaker. You want to be the one PRs and pluggers and labels come to when they want to launch a new artist. You want to decide when things are good or bad and you want the comments on your blog articles from the people who disagree."
pop  music  musicians  journalism  press  musicpress  alt  alternative  funnyhaha 
january 2012 by Nachimir
Microsoft keeps it old-school with a pricey text adventure game, Visual Studio 2010
"Microsoft has jumped onto the free-to-play bandwagon with its latest game, a text-driven adventure called Visual Studio 2010. The innovative new game marries the traditional interactive fiction text adventure with its arcane commands and exploration with the free-form, open-ended gaming pioneered by the likes of SimCity.

There are two major modes to the game, a textual spell-casting game, and a more complex interactive puzzle mode.

Play starts with the spell game. The game has three difficulty modes. In the two easiest modes Visual Studio questers must cast spells to appease a malevolent gatekeeper known only as "the compiler,""
Visualbasic  microsoft  funnyhaha  pisstake  software  development  coding 
january 2012 by Nachimir
VIDEO: OWS Occupies Movie-Set Replica Of Itself, for Real | Mother Jones
'A few hours after television producers set up a replica of Occupy Wall Street for the filming of a new episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit, the real Occupy Wall Street announced plans to occupy the fake one. […] As of about 1:00 a.m., the police had begun to push protesters out of the park and dismantle the set. "NYPD does not respect Law And Order," the crowd chanted cheekily. At one point, an occupier asked an officer, "Are these real barricades, or a set piece?"'
occupy  ows  television  baudrillard  protest  funnyhaha 
december 2011 by Nachimir
Some Revised Tourism Slogans | The Awl
"What Happens In Morocco Doesn't Stay In Morocco, In Fact It Spirals Into An International Incident; You, However, In A Very Permanent Sense, Stay In Morocco"
tourism  advertising  slogans  satire  funnyhaha 
november 2011 by Nachimir
Ludus Novus » Blog Archive » Why So Few Violent Games?
"One of the most ambitious attempts at combat games, Chris Crawford’s oddly-named Gorytron, simulates combat to dizzying detail. It tracks blood flow, heart rate, muscle fatigue, and an array of other internal properties of its NPCs. One would think that this approach would be the perfect way to present interesting action scenes. Yet its clumsy menu-based interactions and awkward presentation make it into something Crawford himself admitted was a failure. Action games are just really hard to make."
games  satire  funnyhaha  videogames 
august 2011 by Nachimir
Scotland Yard Basically Owned by Rupert Murdoch
"Anyway, if he has any sense Murdoch will just shutter Scotland Yard the way he did News of the World, and then re-open it later branded as The Sun Investigates or something."
funnyhaha  notw  newsinternational  newscorp  news  uk  corruption  police 
july 2011 by Nachimir
Tim Vine Jokes - Tim Vine One Liners Jokes
"A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!"
jokes  timvine  comedy  oneliners  funnyhaha 
january 2011 by Nachimir
Licence to Generate | Five Players
"Unburdened by the librarian’s strict gaze, my home version became more x-rated, with lashings of spray can viscera pouring from any clipart foolish enough to mess with Bond."
jamesbond  powerpoint  funnyhaha  strange  creative  presentations  cinema 
september 2010 by Nachimir
Student attacks Hells Angels with puppy - Animal weirdness- msnbc.com
"A German student created a traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hells Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer."
news  bikers  funnyhaha  wtf 
june 2010 by Nachimir
The Singularity cleans my carpet | Beyond The Beyond
"a Roomba knockoff with a laser range-finder? This isn’t exactly a wildly accelerating exponential ramp to posthumanity, guys."
funnyhaha  singularity  technology  cleaning  robotics  brucesterling 
february 2010 by Nachimir
Life Is Hard
Platform game, one minute long, excellent punchline.
games  funnysick  funnyhaha  platformgames  flash  flashgames 
january 2010 by Nachimir
pub comments # beerintheevening.com
This review is hilarious: "Obviously when business is busy it becomes hard to keep track of drinks, but in my 10 years drinking, I have never, EVER, had a drink (let alone half a pint) taken from me without being asked if it is dead (let alone stolen from me when I am in the toilets)" (anonymous - 13 Oct 2006 09:59)
pubs  london  reviews  outrage  iawaityourswiftreply  funnyhaha 
august 2009 by Nachimir
World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale on Vimeo
This is really excellent. Non-verbal presentation on music and expectations. Neurological rule sets that express themselves beyond initial boundaries.
neurology  music  performance  video  science  funnyhaha  bobbymcferrin  pentatonic  scales  fun 
august 2009 by Nachimir
A Softer World: 470
"I always thought violence didn't solve anything. Until one day it did".
comics  funnyhaha  funnysick  asofterworld  photography 
august 2009 by Nachimir
Spam : Elliott Burford
Illustrated spam subject lines, guffaw
spam  i  illustration  art  funnyhaha  design  internet  humour 
july 2009 by Nachimir
Dante’s Inferno Delayed for Tedious, Rigid Adaptation « Hardcasual
“We’ve listened to the fans,” said Jonathan Knight, Dante’s Inferno’s Executive Producer. “And what they want is a 45 hour allegorical cut scene.”
dante  literature  games  funnyhaha  EA 
april 2009 by Nachimir
auntie pixelante › what have we become?
"for a long time, these corporations have been pitting their customers - usually young people in search of an identity - against one another as a marketing tactic."
funnyhaha  games  videogames  marketing  business  consoles  lovely  douchebaggery 
february 2009 by Nachimir
Abyss & Apex : Fourth Quarter 2007: Wikihistory
"Take it easy on the kid, SilverFox316; everybody kills Hitler on their first trip. I did. It always gets fixed within a few minutes, what's the harm?"
funnyhaha  timetravel  sf  sciencefiction 
january 2009 by Nachimir
xkcd - A Webcomic - Converting to Metric
As well a being funny, this is also very useful. Related to languages too: Translation/substitution doesn't work well with memory, imagery does.
language  xkcd  comics  metric  imperial  culture  technology  science  funnyhaha  reference  conversion  webcomics 
january 2009 by Nachimir
Charlie Brooker: Survive 2009 by learning to love and share. Why not start by frolicking in a bubble bath with a neighbour? | Comment is free | The Guardian
"Feral children eating sloppy handfuls of decomposed-pigeon-and-baked-bean mulch scraped from the bottom of dustbins in a desperate bid to survive. The pound worth less than the acorn."
funnyhaha  politics  world  recession  business  industry  survival  2009  writing  charliebrooker  guardian  satire  future 
january 2009 by Nachimir
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